Child birth classes with second birth???(previous birth exp ment.) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 03-24-2005, 04:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a homebirth with my first daughter. I didnt take a formal childbirth class such as Bradley, but I reda the books and spent all my time on homebirth/natural birth websites emssage board etc. SO I *thought* I was prepared...turns out I wasnt so prepared. Honestly after my daughter was born I was about to swear off all the "friends" Id made online who "helped" me to believe that pain came form fear and that as long as I wasnt afraid it would be intense but not painful. Well I wasnt scared, honestly I wasnt I was THRILLED to be in labor, but after 4 hrs of pushing I was literally so tired and in so much pain that I was honestly SHOCKED I was still alive because I was thinking how is it possible to feel this much pain and still live.
My daughter was big(over 9lbs) with a 15" head and she had what my MW called a true case of shoulder dystocia and my pelvis broke delivering her. That birth was truly trammatic for me and I am TERRIFIED still two year later to do this agian. I go back and fourth between wanting to schedule a C-section, having an epidural, having another homebirth with a DIFFERENT MW(that a whole nother post) or UA. I know I wont end up going the hospital route, so now its bewteen HB w/MW or UA. Anyway Im rambling. I suppose I should get to my question. Is there any point in my taking a Bradley class? As far as everyone *at* my birth was concerned I did a great job of saying relaxed and incontrol...but still Im wondering if I might benefit from a class. Have any of you taken a bradley type class with a second+ baby? Anyway sorry for this trainwreck of a post :LOL any input would be awesome!
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#2 of 11 Old 03-24-2005, 04:08 AM
 
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Oh mama, sorry your first birth was so shocking and difficult! Broken pelvis too... geez.

I remember having a big hate on for Ina May Gaskin after my birth. I had truly believed I would have an orgasmic birth. How I felt in labour was sooooo far from that. Unimaginable pain.

I would suggest reading Pam England's book Birthing From Within. And yes, take a Bradley class if you are so inclined. Or any kind of class that doesn't gloss over the pain.

And remember that this time will be different, because you now know what the pain is like. And you know it is part of birth. I think you won't find yourself so shocked by it this time.

I'd get a doula too, for sure. Next time I give birth I'm gonna have a lot more helpers.

I'm sure more mamas will chime in... good luck! I hope this birth is a much better experience for you.
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#3 of 11 Old 03-25-2005, 12:07 AM
 
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I didn't take Bradley classes with my first baby because I was turned off by the whole "husband-coached childbirth" thing. That said, I think a lot of their techniques are good and, like you, we used a Bradley book as part of our preparation. Of course another benefit of a Bradley class is everyone there is going to be trying for a natural childbirth too. Bradley is not the only game in town though (ALACE and ICEA are 2 organizations to try if youre looking for classes). I like Pam England's Birthing From Within too. She also has childbirth classes, but I think they are all in albequerque, NM. My all time favorite "birth guru" is Penny Simkin www.pennysimkin.com, who is in Seattle. I wonder if she would have some suggstions about how to get a better birth experience this time? Maybe she knows somebody in your area who can help. I have never met her, but she seems to be a very kind person.

I think there is a value in having some "in person" childbirth prep experiences. It would also probably feel good to get some in person listening about your last birth. If you go the homebirth route and have a different midwife she might offer some education/regular meetings of current clients to talk about birth.

I am due 9/19 and like you I am also trying to decide what childbirth prep makes the most sense this time. My last childbirth class was all 1st time moms. For sure I am going to do prenatal yoga again this time. The rest is up in the air.
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#4 of 11 Old 03-26-2005, 05:47 AM
 
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I really enjoyed our Bradley classes. They didn't gloss over what the pain would be like and had lots of great information that I didn't read in books or on the internet. (and I read a lot) My mom had a horrible birth with me and I wanted to avoid that experience. I felt great after having my dd. It was nice to be talking with other pg women IRL too.

Heather Mike Married 8/1/99 Mom to Charlotte Aug 04, Nov 06, and Katherine Oct 07
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#5 of 11 Old 03-26-2005, 05:59 AM
 
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I like Birthing From Within, and along those lines, I'd really encourage you to go deep into all those fears. Really deep. Once you have, you'll be able to plan for the worst case scenario.

I loathe the whole attitude that tells women if they're just not afraid, labor won't hurt. I don't like Bradley for the same reasons I don't like Lamaze - the belief that one way of birthing will provide you with pain relief and an easier labor. Lying down relaxing every part of your body will not work for every woman (though I dig Bradley's exploration of what is "true" around the medical model of birth).

I think that you have a huge benefit: that you know what birth is like and you also know what you need to go through it. Start from a place of what you know, then work deeper. It's dirty work, mama, and finding support to hold you through it will be key.

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#6 of 11 Old 03-31-2005, 12:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow! Thanks everyone! Im sorry it took so long to get back here and see all my responses! Its great to get so many ideas and encouragement! I especially love the suggestions to get deep with my fears, I have been and I do think its helping I do also wonder though if maybe Im remembering it worse than it was, not likely :LOL but its an encouraging thought
I also think that knowing what to expect WILL help me. I do think I know what it is I need to have a better experience..now I just need to get there. Thanks agian everyone!!!!!!
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#7 of 11 Old 03-31-2005, 01:37 AM
 
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I also had an over 9 lb baby but luckily my pelvis stayed in tact. you poor thing! I've heard good things about Bradley. This was baby #2 for me and I did Hypnobirthing (which no one mentioned here yet) and really love love loved it. Yes, I did feel pain at the end (hello? did I already mention over 9 lbs and her shoulders were not turned completely) but the experience over all was great. I didn't take any real classes with #1 and had her in a birthing center. Big difference between the two births. Although I was a significantly different person for each (17 years apart), I attribute alot of that to the Hypnobirthing experience.

Good luck!
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#8 of 11 Old 03-31-2005, 01:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by pamamidwife
I loathe the whole attitude that tells women if they're just not afraid, labor won't hurt. I don't like Bradley for the same reasons I don't like Lamaze - the belief that one way of birthing will provide you with pain relief and an easier labor. Lying down relaxing every part of your body will not work for every woman (though I dig Bradley's exploration of what is "true" around the medical model of birth).
As a Bradley instructor I just *had* to address this comment. Bradley isn't *supposed* to teach that there is one way of doing things and that that one way *will* take away the pain. We specifically don't teach that! In my teacher training workshop (which was taught by the AAHCC's co-founders - Jay & Margie Hathaway) it was stressed that the laboring mom should do whatever feels right - that moving the way her body dictates makes the most sense - in pain relief, safety to the baby, and in supporting the way her body needs her to labor. Yes, we do teach the side lying position as ONE way to relax. It *is* a good position if 1. it's comfortable to the mom and 2. she wants to be in a position which allows only her uterus to have to do any muscular work. I personally teach my students (directly from the teachers manual) a variety of coping techniques and stress to them that no one thing works for everyone. I'm basically helping them build a bag of tools that they can try when they're actually presented with the pain of labor and hopefully one or more of these tools will work for them. I by no means downplay that labor hurts - a lot. We do teach that fear creates tension which leads to pain (which leads to more fear which leads to more tension and therefore more pain, etc.), which is a physiological fact. But that's not to say that the lack of fear equals no pain - simply that if you don't fear the process you won't add unnecessary pain caused by fear-based tension. Now, everyone is different and some teachers may teach in the manner you described. I'm sure some do. But that isn't what the Bradley Method actually teaches.

To the OP - I think there would be some value in attending a class. I think Bradley is great for the sheer volume of information you get, for what it's worth.

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#9 of 11 Old 03-31-2005, 02:12 AM
 
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I loathe that Dick-Read method that says that fear+pain=a cycle of fear.

My first birth was a posterior labor of 27+hours, with shoulder dystocia with a full term baby of only six pounds two ounces. Because it was so difficult, I was more afraid after my first birth than before...

My second baby was smaller, earlier, and labor was nine hours, but because I had pulled a muscle early in the pregnancy, I was in constant pain during the entire pregnancy. Because he was in an odd position (posterior with a deflexed head), it was even more painful, but for some reason I was happier after the second birth...because, perhaps, I was not in pain any longer and I did not have any residual problems??

Anyway, happy mothering, because you can do it. You already have!

Third and fourth babies were easy....I earned it!

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#10 of 11 Old 03-31-2005, 02:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pamamidwife
I don't like Bradley for the same reasons I don't like Lamaze - the belief that one way of birthing will provide you with pain relief and an easier labor. Lying down relaxing every part of your body will not work for every woman (though I dig Bradley's exploration of what is "true" around the medical model of birth).
ITA. With all due respect to the Bradley instructor who posted to me based not only on my class but on the books I read as well the idea was that Bradley was the way to go. I remember hearing about why other methods didn't work. The one thing that concerned me a bit was that I really didn't hear much about how to manage the pain. It seemed the idea was that I needed to embrace the pain to know what was going on with my body. Well when labor started I found that the relaxing and deep breathing just wasn't cutting it and fell back on my Lamaze breathing which helped tremendously. I know that's not for every woman either but I think a grab bag approach is better than deciding any one method is going to work for eveyrone.

I took Bradley classes for #3 and it was my first successful natural birth. My first two I only read a Lamaze book. What I think was missing there was the goal of avoiding intervention which is what makes a natural birth so much harder. Now I did have a baby who was just under 10lbs with a 14.5 inch head and I had what I'd like to call a fake shoulder distocia because my asshat oncall medwife was determined I would have one because DD was 11.5 lbs and by golly I had one. So with this birth once again I'm still looking to improve on the experience for me and my child (DD ended up in the NICU). I do think taking a class can still hold benefits for you as you examine your feelings about what happened.
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#11 of 11 Old 03-31-2005, 08:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ZeldasMom
My all time favorite "birth guru" is Penny Simkin www.pennysimkin.com, who is in Seattle.
Same here. I took Penny's homebirth class here in Seattle for my second birth. I had an awful 1st Birth--same as the OP but in a grumpy hospital--and Penny's class totally restored my faith in myself and the birth process. It was very important for me to be around all of those other couples in person who were doing the same things we were. And as it turned out I has a smaller baby, a faster birth, only 10 min of pusing, and was truly euphoric. I give the class a lot of crdit for keeping my head in the right place.

Angie, mama to Anna '01, Mia '04, and Leif '08 and angel1.gif '03  angel1.gif'07 angel1.gif'12.Expecting someone new in 7/13! pos.gif

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