Talked to my friend about pond birth... - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-16-2005, 02:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Before I tell how the conversation went this morning, I'll mention that I live in a warm area and the pond will not be frozen in the winter, maybe it'll be about 50 degrees outside.

I had a talk with my friend this morning about her midwife. She had not even noticed that the lady had picked up two pieces of raw chicken and placed them on a plate before the exam.
My friend did not seem worried at all about her not wearing gloves. She said she has had an exam at each visit like that and the lady has already explained to her that men and women frequently touch each other in places like that w/o having gloves on with no problems. She said gloves hinder the exam and are not necessary since she is not a Dr. that is treating dozens of patients each day. I told her she needs to speak to a Dr. about this because it does not sound right.

My friend is totally brainwashed by this lady. She said the lady has to check the placement of the baby because a wrong placement can lead to an unhealthy baby and a lower IQ.

She's not worried about the pond birth cause she said that all the mosquitos will be gone in the winter and the lady "holistically steralizes" it prior to a birth.

My friend has fallen for this lady hook line and sinker. She was crying at the end of our conversation cause she said she's upset I'm her bestfriend and that I can't see that she is doing something great for her baby. That all of this is safer and healthier than a Dr. with a hospital birth.

I'm afraid this might be the end of our friendship.
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Old 05-16-2005, 02:16 PM
 
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I'm afraid this might be the end of the ability to believe anything you say.
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Old 05-16-2005, 02:24 PM
 
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Wow. We should just lock all them crazy midwives up!!!!
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Old 05-16-2005, 10:58 PM
 
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Well, even if this is totally real - and I have met enough people, even medical people, with totally unreal and lax standards about handwashing that I would not be surprised about the chicken lady/midwife's rationalizations about the supposed safety of not needing to wash her hands - it is bizarre to my standards. As are most of the other of the midwife's assertions.

OP, I am afraid that I couldn't stand to talk about the birth with a friend who was making such strange allegiances either. You've said your peace though, and that is all you can do.

I hope you can work it out with her if you really want to, and if not, that you can walk away with grace. Best of luck.

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Old 05-16-2005, 11:28 PM
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Not to get off topic, but I see a lot of people thinking this situation is a bunch of bullsh*t...

Just consider for a moment though, the things we have all heard about OB's....the shocking, crazy, out there, dangerous things they advise, do, etc...okay, maybe they always wear gloves but some of the other things *wow*

I just *broke up* with my midwife at 38 weeks...sure, she didn't pick up chicken then check me (she never checked me--at my request) --HOWEVER....she DID say that the horror stories from hospitals were just women who were "disgruntled" and wanted to immediately schedule me for a planned c-section (at 38 weeks) when she thought my baby was breech...

Which is just as bad as this story in it's own way....

I am not saying the story isn't a bunch of crap, I am just saying...



Anyway, if it IS real, I would try to deprogram your friend...this lady sounds like a real nutter... is she licensed? Can't you contact the licensing board or something?
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Old 05-16-2005, 11:34 PM
 
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Yeah, but um...who on this earth would believe that a gloveless *rectal* exam is necessary to check the placement of the baby. Shouldn't someone let her know that the baby doesn't come out that hole? The baby's head never goes into that hole. The uterus is not connected to the colon... And "men and women" may touch eachother there, but that doesn't decrease the risk of an e-coli infection (which I have seen babies die shortly after birth from) and it doesn't change the fact that for a midwife, or anyone that you didn't give consent to, that is WRONG. And I'm sure any midwife would know that at 16 weeks pregnant, the baby doesn't have a "placement"...the baby has so much room to move that the baby isn't in one position for long. What on earth does she expect to do to a 16 week old fetus in order to ensure that the placement is proper for IQ development (which is a really bizarre thing in itself...)

Honestly, this sounds like BS. If you're really that worried, get on the phone and call the police, 911, a psychiatrist, or a real midwife for advice... If you think your friend's life is at risk, a messageboard isn't going to convince her otherwise.

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Old 05-17-2005, 09:05 AM
 
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If the friend didn't notice the midwife touching the raw chicken, how was she able to relate this fact to the OP?
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Old 05-17-2005, 09:12 AM
 
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Yeah. Uh huh. Right. Sure.



Whatever entertains ...

Color me skeptical and these posts trolls.
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Old 05-17-2005, 09:16 AM
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I wasn't saying that it didn't sound like a load of crap!

I admit, it does sound very sketchy, all I was saying though, was given a choice (and thank God I don't have to make THAT kind of choice :LOL) ...to me, a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks for NO good reason except a *possible* breech (recommended strongly to me by a midwife I just fired--as a FIRST alternative) sounds about as appealing as a gloveless rectal exam :LOL

Yes, it does sound like BS...but midwives and doctors are doing all kinds of crazy crap....even if they are wearing gloves is all I was saying...
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Old 05-17-2005, 11:38 AM
 
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Hey, I'm enjoying these threads immensely! Glad I got to see this one before it gets removed. : Instead of reccommending hosptial birth, why aren't you suggesting she find a sane midwife for her home birth? Now... Tell us more about why she needs these... exams.
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Old 05-17-2005, 11:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeldasMom
If the friend didn't notice the midwife touching the raw chicken, how was she able to relate this fact to the OP?
I believe the OP "saw" the midwife do this. Why the OP didn't say anything is beyond me...

Now, the real question is, shouldn't her family be afraid of eating that chicken? I mean, if she didn't wash after touching the chicken, how can you guarantee she washed after the exam and before dinner...

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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Old 05-17-2005, 12:26 PM
 
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This does sound ridiculous and I keep coming back to check for new craziness, but you never know, there are a lot of lunchboxes out there.

:"the lady has already explained to her that men and women frequently touch each other in places like that w/o having gloves on with no problems." This line sounds like something a child would be told by a scary adult. The whole tone is creepy.
Does your friend know that normal pregnant women do not need a vaginal exam ever during pregnancy? Even high risk pregnant women seeing OB`s very rarely need one. Msbuntz, if this is for real, what kind of an advocate is your friend going to be for her baby when she can`t even stop a rectal exam from happening. How you handle your prenatal care is a good place to begin parenting. Doing it herself if she was educated would be much better than this. And how is it "holistic" to do an exam every visit?
One last thing, its pretty holistic to do a month of seclusion with a new baby, most culture do this as a way of bonding and building baby`s immune system. I wouldn`t even take a 4 week old into a mall, much less a newborn into a POND.

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Old 05-17-2005, 12:29 PM
 
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Old 05-17-2005, 12:38 PM
 
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Where does it mention a rectal exam?

This is the most obvious troll I have ever seen.

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Old 05-17-2005, 12:59 PM
 
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Old 05-17-2005, 01:14 PM
 
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well it is interesting. not sure why i'm posting on this thread, but here goes...

if i had a "friend" in this situation what i would do is tell her my concerns and recommend one of my midwives at the birth ctr where i had dd2 and if she didn't go for the birth ctr i'd recommend one of the home birth midwives that my friends have used. if she was still going with the pond lady i would consider calling the cops on the "midwife/pondlife". i think you have to offer a solution (another midwife) as well as point out the problem.

now : for the rest of this thread...

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Old 05-17-2005, 01:57 PM
 
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I think it's funny how many people are feeding this poster! :LOL
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Old 05-17-2005, 08:29 PM
 
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Was there another thread on this subject? Was it deleted?

I feel like I'm missing something, be it minor or huge.

I wanna : but someone help get me up to speed! :LOL

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Old 05-17-2005, 08:36 PM
 
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So, this is the "Reefer Madness" version of midwifery, huh? Sorry, I have a whole black and white satyre running in my head by now!
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Old 05-17-2005, 09:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ramlah
Was there another thread on this subject? Was it deleted?

I feel like I'm missing something, be it minor or huge.

I wanna : but someone help get me up to speed! :LOL

Loooong story, :LOL

The OP has claimed that her friend's "scary midwife" gave Friend vag and rectal exams without gloves and after handling raw chicken-- without washing her hands. And that MW thinks Friend should give birth in a stagnant 50-degree pond full of beer cans and mosquitos-- because it's more "holistic." OP claims MW has scary, svengali-like hold over Friend, etc.

Everyone is (rightly, I think) calling BS on the whole story. Especially since the OP hasn't posted twice in the same thread. He/she just posts and runs.

Oooooooohhhhh! Scary midwives! They're crazy! Ooga Booga!

It's kinda funny, actually!

Until they close the thread, I'm just going to :, too.
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Old 05-17-2005, 09:28 PM
 
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: Don't wanna miss this one.

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Old 05-17-2005, 09:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmaramba
Loooong story, :LOL

The OP has claimed that her friend's "scary midwife" gave Friend vag and rectal exams without gloves and after handling raw chicken-- without washing her hands. And that MW thinks Friend should give birth in a stagnant 50-degree pond full of beer cans and mosquitos-- because it's more "holistic." OP claims MW has scary, svengali-like hold over Friend, etc.

Everyone is (rightly, I think) calling BS on the whole story. Especially since the OP hasn't posted twice in the same thread. He/she just posts and runs.

Oooooooohhhhh! Scary midwives! They're crazy! Ooga Booga!

It's kinda funny, actually!

Until they close the thread, I'm just going to :, too.
Oh, now that's not fair, the OP has posted at least twice to the previous threads, lol. And you forgot the bit about the pond algae being naturally vaccinating or whatever she called it :LOL I'm rathering hoping the saga continues until the birth of the baby. After the vaccinating algae and the salmonella laden rectal exams, I can't wait to see what horrifying details the birth will involve. How long do we have to wait for the riveting conclusion again?
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Old 05-17-2005, 10:27 PM
 
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Ooga booga! :

The OP has been posting in Unassisted Birth, too.
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Old 05-17-2005, 10:38 PM
 
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Old 05-17-2005, 10:57 PM
 
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OMG girls!

Thank god I saw this thread when I did!!!
:

Can you imagine....I was actually planning to use a MIDWIFE for my next pregnancy (thank god my 1st birth went okay despite the MW being there!).

And worse--that I was actually going to BECOME one!??!

Phew!

All I can say to the OP is:
THANK YOU

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Old 05-17-2005, 11:19 PM
 
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I also really hope the saga continues! Maybe the OP could write a novel... These last few weeks of pg'cy tend to go a little slow and this is giving me such a great laugh. Something to look forward to... :

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Old 05-17-2005, 11:21 PM
 
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Old 05-17-2005, 11:27 PM
 
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I predect a parasite &/or ameoba issue in the near future.
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Old 05-17-2005, 11:30 PM
 
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~sighs~ I seriously hope this IS just a joke... I hate to think of any woman being treated like that and being okay with it... But........

I have to say I've knew a few people years ago (about 13 years ago) who all went to the same "doctor"... the doctor never wore gloves, saw patients in his home or a hotel room (yes, hotel room), etc... he never prescribed anything, never displayed his credentials, nothing to make someone think he was a real doctor... but the people I knew all believed he was... they SWORE by him... until he was investigated by the state and arrested... he wasn't actually a doctor at all, but had been in prison years prior for sexual assault. So, all I'm saying is there are some people out there who practice without knowing what they're doing, and some who believe those "practitioners".

Now, in case this is real (scary!)... to the OP... you need to call a few REAL midwives and ask what they know about this person... if the've ever heard of her, etc... check with the state and find out if she's licensed (I don't know what state you're in so I don't know if midwives are licensed where you are)... get the new midwives to talk to your friends... basically stage an intervention (maybe one of the few times it's good during pregnancy!) with her and try to get through to her... maybe if real midwives speak with her about the standard of care she should be receiving she'll see the light.
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Old 05-17-2005, 11:35 PM
 
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When pg dd1 I had a dream I gave birth to a cat. Maybe the ending here is she'll give birth to a frog!
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