FirstTimer wants home birth, but Alabama doesn't allow midwives to help! What to do? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 17 Old 10-05-2005, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
buttons1721's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Alabama
Posts: 19
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My husband & I are hoping to get pregnant soon, and I'm already know that I don't want to birth in a hospital. However, it is illegal in Alabama for a midwife to assist you at home -- they can only assist you in a hospital under a doctor's supervision (*yeah, I can really see a doctor being willing to stay hands off for that! *). :

This would be my first pregnancy, and I've been doing TONS of research, but I'm still a little afraid (*in the back of my mind *) b/c I don't know what to expect and b/c of that I am afraid that I won't be able to tell what is normal or not normal...and it looks like UC is my only option, since I don't really want to make the 90min-2hr drive to TN for a birthing center while I'm in labor....

How do I over come this fear? My husband isn't keen on the idea of UC -- I can barely get him to agree to using a midwife instead of a OB for prenatals! My worries are more for the baby & making sure that it would be ok, rather than about me b/c I think that I'd be fine -- there is a lot less that can go wrong w/ me. And I already know that my worst fear is that something would go wrong with the baby & then my husband (*and myself*) would blame me & my desire for a homebirth for the rest of our lives. He already said something incredibly dumb the other day when I tried to talk about my hopes for the birth, that "so this is just so you'd be comfortable...for your own comfort" like that was something selfish & that I wasn't even thinking of the baby! I'd like to think that I'm thinking of us BOTH!

I guess I just need some encouragement. I'm determined that I won't give birth in a hospital -- and that is just not the normal attitude of people in my home town -- they think its crazy and irresponsible to want to birth at home.

Is there anyone else out there that's either from Alabama or has these limited choices of where to give birth?
buttons1721 is offline  
#2 of 17 Old 10-05-2005, 06:05 PM
 
Spark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Prodromal Labor Island Ambassador
Posts: 11,290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There are ALWAYS midwives working, even in states where it's illegal. You might even find a TN MW willing to drive to you. Start asking around now, it wouldn't hurt.

Here's your first lead. http://www.angelfire.com/al4/morningstar/ From there you should be able to get more names. Or ask at health food stores, LLL, natural parenting groups, finding your tribe, etc, etc, etc. There are AL homebirths attended by MWs. Best wishes! You sound like one smart cookie!

Spark and her four firecrackers.
Spark is offline  
#3 of 17 Old 10-05-2005, 06:07 PM
 
Spark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Prodromal Labor Island Ambassador
Posts: 11,290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
SImilar post you should check out...
http://bbs.babycenter.com/board/preg...thread/2409647

Spark and her four firecrackers.
Spark is offline  
#4 of 17 Old 10-05-2005, 07:25 PM
 
TurboClaudia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: in a yellow house
Posts: 7,358
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
a couple of thoughts:

a baby is born when it's supposed to be born and where it's supposed to be born. it's great to plan to labor at home and birth at home, but you might consider framing it as a plan instead of a definite. it allows you more options and the opportunity to change your mind if you need to or want to.

ditto what spark said about midwives practicing even in states where it is alegal or illegal for them. find a la leche league meeting and quietly ask around, find some doulas and ask them, some chiropractors, acupuncturists, naturopaths, any other complementary health providers. they are out there.

and for your partner, yes, it is for your comfort that you would like to plan a homebirth. and it's also for your safety, your health, and for the safety and health of your baby. get yourself a copy of ina may's guide to childbirth and read him some of the stories in there. birth can be a a beautiful and peaceful event in one's life, and many even believe that it should be a beautiful and peaceful event. perhaps he has simply never entertained the idea of what it would be like to give birth ensconced in a sterile (or at least trying to be sterile), non-homey environment surrounded by unfamiliar things, unfamiliar people, and protocols and procedures aften based on tradition and not science. hospitals are wonderful for treating emergencies, fixing broken bones, strokes, heart attacks and treating cancer and other long-term illnesses, but in most situations, i believe it is unnecessary to have to relinquish the trust i have in my own body to give birth and instead be surrounded by an institution that believes birth is an inherently dangerous and deadly situation.

wishing you love and light on your journey...

warmly,
claudia
TurboClaudia is offline  
#5 of 17 Old 10-05-2005, 07:38 PM
 
Hayes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,355
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just sent you a pm. There are several midwives who deliver in Alabama. The legality is crap. If they don't have a PERMIT, they can't do it. It is a misdemeanor. There is no concern legally ffor you as the parent. I sent you my info and the midwife info as well. I am in **********. Feel free to call or email!
Hayes is offline  
#6 of 17 Old 10-05-2005, 10:57 PM
 
jerawo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Music City, USA
Posts: 1,441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Some women in North Alabama travel to The Farm in Summertown, TN to have their babies. I know there are homebirth midwives in AL, but it will take some looking to find them. You might want to PM bamamom - she had a baby with a midwife in June and lives near Gadsden.
jerawo is offline  
#7 of 17 Old 10-06-2005, 02:19 AM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
I second that.

Go to Summertown, TN and have your baby there.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#8 of 17 Old 10-06-2005, 09:40 AM
 
alicia9178's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Turlock, CA
Posts: 953
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello....we live in Ohio and it is "illegal" or atleast "alegal" here. There are plenty of babies born here at home though...and mine hopefully will be one of them in February. You sound passionate to make sure that you find an attendant who will fit your needs. However...if I was that close to The Farm I would birth there in a second!!!
Alicia

 

 Get "101 Tips That Burn Belly Fat Daily
    For  Free thumb.gif , Visit Here 

 

 
alicia9178 is offline  
#9 of 17 Old 10-06-2005, 03:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
buttons1721's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Alabama
Posts: 19
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks everyone! Goodness knows suggestions are welcome. I'm surfing the net now to see if I can find a midwife kinda close by.

I keep hearing about "The Farm" but I'm not sure what all it is.?. I've heard that there are some birthing centers in Nashville too -- is the "Farm" a better place to birth?

In the end, I think my goal will be a home birth tho...no rushing to get somewhere -- just my own quiet place. I'm such an introvert & private person, that I know that the only way I'll be able to relax would be at home or someplace that I'm extremely comfortable in. I'd transfer to a hospital tho if there was a medical emergency (* I had to re-assure my husband that -- I think he thought I was just completely stubborn about not going to the hospital for any reason. Its a good thing I'm laying out the ground work now, so that we both understand each other b/c I don't know if I could take our discussions about this if I was in a hormonal state! : lol! *)
buttons1721 is offline  
#10 of 17 Old 10-09-2005, 03:22 AM
 
Mama2ABCD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: following cubs up a mountain
Posts: 1,889
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Buttons,
I'm in north Alabama too. I live 35 min northeast of Huntsville. I had a fantastic homebirth with an Alabama midwife. She lives south of ********** (the same mw Hayes had so i won't pm any info). I had the prenatals in B'ham which was about almost a 2 hour drive oneway. And when i went into labor she got to my house in the middle of the night in plenty of time. It was so worth it. She's a great mw and would be an excellent choice for a first timer.
There's a Tenn mw just over the stateline in Fayetteville (not the Alabama mw in Ardmore, TN) and she was closer to me then even the hospitals but i wanted to be at home and with her i had to go to her house.
If you live close to Huntsville (there are many other huntsville mama's that have had homebirths), there is a group meeting called Birth Stories that meets the 3rd wed of every month at 11am at the library in huntsville. You would get a lot of information from those mama's.
Definitely go for the homebirth or at least a midwife.
Mama2ABCD is offline  
#11 of 17 Old 10-09-2005, 03:54 AM
 
Godiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Finally home :-)
Posts: 1,223
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I live in a state that prosecutes midwives for anything they can find even though it's techincally not illegal for a midwife to deliver. As a result we have very few midwives here and none that were anywhere close to me. I've since decided to have a UC and I am completly comfortable with my choice. I'm due any day now so I can't wait for the expereince. Check out Laura Shanley's site www.unassistedchildbirth.com she has all sorts of wonderful information about birth even if you decide to go with a midwife. I don't see the need for a midwife at all. You said it yourself, just let birth happen on it's own, should something happen then go to the hospital. A midwife wouldn't be able to help you anyways she'd send you to the hospital. You seem like you have a similar personality to me, very very private and very uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations. My sister was shocked that I don't even want my mom there for the birth, she said "but it's MOM, what's wrong with mom being there?" To me it's just akward and it would cause me lots of stress to have ANYONE at my birth other than my husband. Take a look at UC, you seem to me like the kind of person who would be comfortable in a UC situation. PM me if you want.
Godiva is offline  
#12 of 17 Old 10-09-2005, 11:08 PM
 
pixiexto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: among the coffee beans...
Posts: 1,684
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to pipe in that we had glorious, midwife attended birth in AL this past January - - there are some amazing midwives to be found - be sure that you can find one!

Our midwife lives in GA, but does some travelling. If you're interested, PM me and I can pass along her info.

best wishes for your pregnancy and your baby's birth!
pixiexto is offline  
#13 of 17 Old 10-10-2005, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
buttons1721's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Alabama
Posts: 19
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ya'lls replies mean a lot to me. All of these stories about homebirths with a midwife really does ease my worries. If I hadn't found this board, I don't think I would have found out about this possibility and would have gone it alone b/c of lack of choices.

To tell the truth, all I'd want from a midwife is someone to be there after the birth to give us a check up for DH's peace of mind -- after its all said & done. I've already been told that I'm crazy, but I honestly think that I'd birth fine alone. I wouldn't really even want my mom or sister there -- it just feel like it should be a private moment, and honestly my mom would talk my ears off during the whole thing! lol! Also, I think I'm also of the mind set that even someone observing can cause a change in the outcome. Kinda like when you have an expert watching you work, you tend to hesitate more & not be as sure of yourself then when its just you alone doing the work...

I live about 50 miles northwest of Huntsville, but I work there -- so I think I will ck out those Birth Story meetings. My co-worker has mentioned them too & she knows one of the women there that is training to be a midwife. I want to surround myself with only positive thinkers. I know that there are risks & possible complications, but unless the person trying to scare me w/ "what ifs" has a solution for the what if, I don't want to hear about. If there are problems w/ birth that can be fixed at home, then I'd want to know "what to do in case of..."

I've been trying to compile a list of "what ifs", so that I can find a course of action to fix the problem or know when a transport to the hospital is a must. I think taking the responsiblity to be knowledgable about birth is the first step to being a parent, so I'm just trying my best.

If anyone knows a good website or book that details some of the:
"In case of ____, do this _____."
let me know, so that I can reassure my DH about the "what ifs".
buttons1721 is offline  
#14 of 17 Old 10-10-2005, 01:13 PM
 
ceilydhmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,381
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by buttons1721
Ya'lls replies mean a lot to me. All of these stories about homebirths with a midwife really does ease my worries. If I hadn't found this board, I don't think I would have found out about this possibility and would have gone it alone b/c of lack of choices.

To tell the truth, all I'd want from a midwife is someone to be there after the birth to give us a check up for DH's peace of mind -- after its all said & done. I've already been told that I'm crazy, but I honestly think that I'd birth fine alone. I wouldn't really even want my mom or sister there -- it just feel like it should be a private moment, and honestly my mom would talk my ears off during the whole thing! lol!
Lol... I felt this way exactly. I ended up with a transfer because of PROM but my birth plan was for dh and I to be left alone. It felt so good just to labour quietly with him and have a midwife that answered our questions and offered supoort as needed but mainly just left us alone.

[/QUOTE]If anyone knows a good website or book that details some of the:
"In case of ____, do this _____."
let me know, so that I can reassure my DH about the "what ifs".[/QUOTE]

There are a load of different books but my dh got the most out of our Bradley classes. He felt really well prepared and was an amazing support - mainly because he understood everything that was happening and had learned a variety of ways he could offer me support. He said he really enjoyed all the home birth films our teacher had to lend us - that seeing relaxed beautiful homebirths helped him understand what my golas were
ceilydhmama is offline  
#15 of 17 Old 10-10-2005, 01:27 PM
 
pixiexto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: among the coffee beans...
Posts: 1,684
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is an awesome article to read - particularly for Daddies a bit apprehensive about home birth. It was written by a Dad.

Let your Monkey do it!
pixiexto is offline  
#16 of 17 Old 10-10-2005, 01:51 PM
 
afishwithabike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Third rock from the sun.
Posts: 5,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Birthing from Within was a great resource for me in order to get through some of the difficulties that came up. I was able to find it and other great resources at my local library. The nice thing was I kept renewing them and didn't have the huge expense of buying books that didn't have the info I needed.
afishwithabike is offline  
#17 of 17 Old 10-10-2005, 02:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
buttons1721's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Alabama
Posts: 19
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixiexto
This is an awesome article to read - particularly for Daddies a bit apprehensive about home birth. It was written by a Dad.

Let your Monkey do it!

That article was great, and I think some of the humor will help my DH relate. I especially liked the part where the husband looks at his wife's focused expression & said "the monkey had arrived..." lol! :LOL
buttons1721 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off