Hey...I will just post my story...and then I have to nurse my squirmy newborn....lol.
Look forward to getting to know you all!
My labor and birth story!
I have been in labor since 6:30am this morning on the 14th. That is when my water broke. The contractions are pretty intense already. I wonder how many centimeters I am. Laugh. It is 8:50 now. I pray that it goes fast...I am already wondering what I can handle...but I guess...(just had a contraction)..I have no choice...laugh...I have a baby that I have to work with and get out. God be with me and all around me...thankyou for this day....
Okay at this point is when it got intense and I was unable to type or keep a record of any kind other then in my mind. Laugh. I got into the tub and had some wonderful contractions in there...decided that the water was cold and that I didn't want to be wet anymore..so I got out. I labored then while walking around leaning on a dresser while watching a Mom having a home water birth on TV...that was neat...she was at the pushing phase and I tingled with excitement when I heard her beautiful laborland sounds she was making. I knew I would soon follow her in my own pushing. I just labored and felt my own pains and sensations while listening to her birth her baby...it gave me courage...
I continued to walk around, lean on Matt...just did what felt right what felt good....it was so nice. No one wanting to put IV's in me, no monitor to press against my belly, no one telling me that the wonderful machine was showing a good contraction. Laugh. I wasn't in a hard unfamiliar bed. There were no strangers...just my wonderful loving husband putting just the right touches here and there and rubbing my hips on the sides up and down when I just thought I couldn't do it anymore...He was my love the entire time. We made this baby together and we were birthing this baby together...my how beautiful it was...I will always love him and can't imagine my life without him. When I felt I was lost in the sea of my labor contractions that by the way never gave me a break...it was intense...one long contraction....he looked at me and said you can do it your doing fine....there were no looks of pity or sadness from him...just looking at him gave me the strength to believe in myself and to go on. He was firm when he needed to be and soft when I needed him to be that also. Thankyou Matt for making me feel my labor sensations...for making me ride those intense waves over and over again. Thankyou for not taking that from me. I will never forget that my sweet love.
My labor sensations were getting even stronger and I decided that I wanted to sit in the tub once again. I was hoping that it would take an edge off of what I was feeling. I sat in the tub, it was full and warm and just felt soooo good. It helped with the contractions for a bit...not long...but it gave me the break I needed. Matthew would take my hand into his and I can remember how strong and warm and perfect it felt. How small my hand felt in his. How much strength it gave me. I started getting really grunty and pushy in the tub. It started with little grunts with little light pushes...oh that felt so good to do. I thought to myself that I just had to be pushing way to early. And I just knew I had to do what my body told me. I thought on all I had learned about your body already knowing what to do...all I had to do was to let it do what it knew instinctively to do. So I pushed lightly and moaned...those light pushes turned into hard uncontrollable pushes. I would bear down about three times during the peak of a contraction. I heard myself growling...but I felt far away from it all. Just wanting to get away from my pain. Matt told me to get into a squat in the tub that I needed to do something other then lay down. I had told him way before our labor that he would have to keep me up so gravity would make my labor and delivery go easier and faster.
I got up onto my knees...this was so hard to do. Matt got onto his knees beside the tub and I draped my arms around him and pushed and moaned through the sensations for a little while. I was uncomfortable in the tub. I didn't want to be there anymore. I wanted out...I wanted it over...I needed the release that only comes when your baby slips from your body. I wanted that in a bad way.
I got out and barely made it to the palate of blankets Matt had at the foot of our bed on the floor. I moaned and rolled a bit there...losing control...wanting to be out of my own skin. I drank a bit of a apple juice box and it churned in my stomach. I reached for a box that just happened to be there from Christmas...it was full of foam packing peanuts and I threwup into it. I should have remembered that throwing up meant I was so close. I closed the box up and pushed it away so the dog wouldn't try and get to it...yucky. Matthew got behind me and I laid back against him and continued to push and make it through yet another contraction and another and another. Matt just held me. I got desperate at this point and was pounding the floor saying, "God deliver me!". If I had only known he was about to do just that.
Matt put on an exam glove and checked me so he could tell me where I was. His hand went inside of me and he looked at me and told me that the cervix was gone and the baby's head was right there! That I should get in a better position to get the baby out. I told him that I needed drugs that I couldn't do it anymore that it hurt so bad. He said yes you can do it and you don't need the hospital. He made me get in another position. I hated him at the time. I was so whiny...hurting...and wanting to be done so I could sleep. I got up on my knees again and leaned on the edge of the bed. In no time my baby's head started to bulge into my hand. Matthew put warm wash clothes on my perineum so that it would stay pink and warm and not tear or tear has badly. The warmth felt so good. I kept pushing and the head started to show more and more. It was so awesome to feel his little head right at the opening of myself...to know he would soon be born. Matt reminded me to not push and to pant. But the urge to bear down was too great. Matt called to my 4 year old so he could see the baby come out. Eli came running. He was so excited and so happy to see his little baby come into the world.
The head crowned and I sucked in my breath as my perineum burned as it stretched around his head. And then his head was out! I had birthed my own baby's head into my own hand. I felt around and could feel his nose and his little features. Oh gosh the joy in my heart. The way I felt was so wonderful. I felt so alive. And here was my baby. My baby...I was doing it. The next contraction came and his little body was birthed....I passed him from my hands to Matthew's. Matt laid him on the floor. I turned around and saw he was a little boy. I called out that he was a boy and grabbed him up into my arms. He was here...in my room...we had done it. Matt got up to turn the heat on and left me be...he once again knew when I needed to be on my own. He gave me my moment. I wrapped him in a towel and wiped the gooeyness of birth from his face and hair. I rubbed his back and watched in amazement as his little body breathed and cried...and he was just so beautiful...and real...I had done it. I said that over and over...I did it I did it I did it. I kissed his little mouth and breathed in the scent of my freshly birthed baby. He instantly felt right in my arms. He nursed just a bit.
Eli peaked at his little brother and smiled and cooed over him. He said the baby just popped out! Laugh. Oh what a wonderful moment. Our family became four in our own room, in our own home, in a dimly lit room. We welcomed our baby and waited for the placenta. I got up about 30 minutes later and put a bowl between my legs to catch the blood and Matt walked with Remy and we made our way to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and delivered my own placenta into the bowl. It was so neat to see the thing that had kept my baby alive all those months. It was beautiful to me. That may sound weird but it had made the sweet baby in my husbands arms possible. I cleaned up myself in the tub and got into bed. Eli and Matt clamped and cut the cord together. Matt dressed the baby and tucked him in with me in bed. I held him...and nursed him.
That is the story of how Remy Gage Lundell entered the world from his warm home in my womb. I am so happy he is here. I am so happy he had such a beautiful and gentle birth. His first sounds were his family. There were no bright lights shinning on him as people hustled about in a state of panic that happens in a hospital. He was not taken from me to be poked and handled roughly and quickly. He was touched only in love. I remember him looking around when he was born. And Matt says his eyes were open when I birthed his head. Oh and that his little hand had been beside his head so I had delivered his head and little arm at one time. I couldn't tell a difference though. If I had been in the hospital they would have had me on my back with my feet in stirrups and they would have cut me thinking I needed help to birth his head with an arm too. But it wasn't the emergency they would have made it. It was the way he was to be born. And I did it. I did it. Laugh. I love to say that.
Thankyou God for the knowledge you gave me and the strength to do what I felt was right. I will never doubt your power or your greatness all the days of my life. Birth is a pure and simple thing you made...and when we leave it be and let it happen it is beautiful. Birth is not a scary thing that we have to augment. I feel blessed to be one of the women that know this now. Thankyou again.
I am complete...I had the birth of my dreams and feel I can take on the world. I am changed. I will never be the same. Thankyou my little son for coming to me in the way you did. I promise to love and care for you all the days of my life. I will handle your heart with love and always think of you and your brother first. Have a wonderful life my sweet new baby. Grow and make your way in this beautiful world the Lord made.
To my oldest son. Eli thankyou for being such a big boy and I am so happy to have had you with us when we had your brother. You are my first miracle...and I look forward to sharing my second miracle with you. You were right....you knew it was a boy all along. I am so happy you got the brother you so wanted.
Matt...oh Matt my sweet husband. Thankyou so much. Thankyou for being the strong wonderful man you are. I couldn't have done it without you. You touched me in all the right ways. You made me strong when I needed you to. You didn't let me wimp out. You made me feel it all and you made me accomplish my goal. You are a smart man. I thankyou for not fearing birth. Hugs and kisses....our marriage has been a journey of love. I can't wait to share the rest of our lives together. We will celebrate our 5th anniversary on this Valentine's Day...in less then a month...I can't wait. It has been a ride this last year and I have had a blast. More kisses my sweet man! I love you so!
Remy Gage Lundell
9 pounds 8oz.
14 1/2" head