Home Birth? Any Advice?! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 27 Old 02-17-2003, 10:40 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm thinking about having a home birth for my next child, anyone have advice on it, have any stories of your own???
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#2 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 03:10 AM - Thread Starter
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I'm new at this message bored, so I'm not sure if things are working, or if the bored froze!! I'm disappointed no one has Any advice on Home pregnancies Anyone...anywhere??
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#3 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 03:26 AM
 
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Hey, Sweetie - Hi there! And welcome.

Try posting the same question in the Pregnancy/Homebirth forum, you can find it form the main page.

There's stories in that forum and a lot of people who have things to say.

I'm planning a homebirth, but don't have any personal experience, if you know what I mean

Good luck and welcome again inky

Lori
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#4 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 07:07 AM - Thread Starter
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I should have realized I’m too new at this to get the right place at the first try! Ha. But thank you, you’ve been helpful. You plan on having a home birth yourself? Is this your first child? Oh and by the way, Thanks for the welcoming
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#5 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 10:47 AM
 
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Hi, and welcome! I'm still fairly new here too. I've had two homebirths and I can't see doing it any other way. They were wonderful! I felt so powerful afterwards, so full of life. Yes, there is no option for *pain relief* but for me that wasn't even a question. The pain is just part of life! My second child I built a birth hut and had him outside. I can't seem to get a pic inserted :


This was such an awesome birth, it was so cool to build a special place for him to born in. And that place is still there to go to again and remember his birth.

coffee-drinking caffix.gifsocial worker in HIV/AIDS ribbonred.giflady-loving ribbonrainbow.gifbike-riding bikenew.gifmom of two twins.gif
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#6 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 01:12 PM
 
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Yes, this will be my first child, in a manner of speaking. We had a still birth last year, and that happened in the hospital. I was planning a homebirth before that - but I'm doubly convinced now.

I am reminded about the discussion by two women in a birthing class where one said "wow, you're giving birth at home, that's so brave!" and the other replied "I think you're brave for giving birth in the hospital". That's me. I'm more afraid of the hospital than home. Not just because of my pervious experience.

I think there are options for "pain" relief at home, but I'm a natural or alternative health, well, nut for lack of a better term (Not implying wemoon isn't ) I don't consider allopathic pain relief the only alternatives or the only description of "relief". My birth attendants are homeopaths and there are homeopathic rememdies available during birth that help w/issues at various stages of labor (not just "pain"), and I think there are a lot of things you can do that will help w/thru labor - for example my yoga and meditation practices I believe will be beneficial to the process. I don't really buy into the "pain is transcendental" theory of birth. I think if you can prepare yourself and it's not painful, more power to ya. But, I'm trying to be open to the process and go with the flow when the time comes. I'm still thinking of taking hypnobirthing.

There are a lot more people who are probably more "woo-woo" than me who think that my idea of "interventions" is too much - perhaps the unassisted homebirthers, as an example. There's a lot of information on that, and a cool unassisted childbirth story in the homebirth forum - if you go to the top of the page, right hand side, there's a search button, look for "unasssited childbirth" - even if you don't go that route, I found those stories imensely helpful because those women were so trusting in their own bodies and since they did the whole thing w/o someone else telling them what to do, where to stand and when to push or not to, it's pretty inspiring.

Also, there's an article on the main mothering site they have linked to - sort of a reprint, that I think is really helpful: http://www.mothering.com/11-0-0/html...ic-birth.shtml

and some general prep info: http://www.mothering.com/11-0-0/html...0/11-2-0.shtml

hope that helps. whew. I can really go on

Cheers!!

Lori
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#7 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
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Hey, thanks for your help I know alot of people who have had both home births and hospital births. and have heard vary convincing stories on both sides!! some have many regrets on each side, and others live by it.
thanks again.
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#8 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 10:15 PM
 
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Hello, and welcome! I have a couple tidbits of advice, actually more like "what worked for me". We borrowed a labor tub from our midwife, it was invaluable to me. The warm water really helps with pain. I didn't plan on giving birth in the water, but I didn't plan on not. Just go with what feels right for you. I would also like to recommend the book "Active Birth" I forget who wrote it. It's great for homebirthers (and hospital ones too). This is your birth, just educate yourself as much as possible. I prefer a midwife who has a hands-off approach. Mine was there when I needed her, and invisible all other times. I wish you all the best!

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#9 of 27 Old 02-18-2003, 10:20 PM
 
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Janet Balaskas. She's credited for this whole active birth movement in the UK. She wrote some other books that were helpful, too. One about prenatal yoga.
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#10 of 27 Old 02-19-2003, 05:29 AM
 
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Hi, I am moving this over to the pregnancy/homebirth area...you will find you will get a lot more responses that way..

Welcome to the boards..I hope you get the info you need..

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#11 of 27 Old 02-19-2003, 01:44 PM
 
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Welcome!

I am also planning a homebirth for our first child. I am like Lori -- I would be afraid to have a hospital birth. How would I do it without my dog!?

You should also consider browsing the birth story threads in this forum. They are so inspiring, and they are such an obvious contrast to conventional birth stories in terms of intimacy and beauty, in my opinion.


Jean

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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#12 of 27 Old 02-19-2003, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
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thanks everyone!
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#13 of 27 Old 02-19-2003, 07:58 PM
 
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Jean - :LOL :LOL

My dog was kind enough to offer me some labor support for dd's birth. I had wondered if I was the only one who considered "won't let me bring my dog" as a big mark against hospitals and birth centers...

Muutherof1 - Staying home allowed me a sense of security I wouldn't have had anywhere else. <still loving the memory of dd's birth>
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#14 of 27 Old 02-19-2003, 08:23 PM
 
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well, we have cats. i'm not expecting them to be all that interested. but they keep fighting over who gets to sit on my lap right now, so who knows?

I think it's kinda cool to be that connected to your k9 inky
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#15 of 27 Old 02-19-2003, 10:59 PM
 
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muutherof2 what kind of advice are you looking for? Did you have have a natural labor with your other 2 births? What makes you want to birth at home this time?

I had a dog that loved to watch my births, she didn't offer much help, just stood in the door way and watched. She has since passed on and I miss her very much.

-b
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#16 of 27 Old 02-20-2003, 09:19 PM
 
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I feel like I am a fairly good person to answer this question since I have birthed 3 very different ways I had my first at a hospital with a woman OB (swore I would never do that again!). I had taken the hospital class and then also a Bradley class the last 8 weeks of my pg, so I knew what I wanted and trust me, I HAD to fight for it every step of the way (especially with the L&D nurses). No woman should have to do that during her labor (and I even had a very experience doula with me). I did have a natural birth (not counting the pitocin they gave me since I wasn't going fast enough for them), but I also came very close to a c-section (OB wanted to do it, but we put her off until I could squat to get the baby to move down--of course that did the trick and he was born 30 min later--after 4 hours of pushing in those darn strrups on my back!
With my second, I went to a free-standing birth center with CNM's. This was the birth I needed to regain my trust in the birth process! It was so empowering to be laboring and birthing in a room only full of people who supported me and my birth wishes 100%! Very different from the hospital where everyone treats you like you are a lunatic for wanting a natural birth and has NO idea how to support you mentally or physically. The labor was 6 hrs start to finish and I was home 6 hours later and felt fantastic! Another huge difference between the two births was that I was not given my baby for 30 minutes at the hospital after the birth (they HAD to weigh, measure, and "clean" him up before handing him to me) and at the birth center, he never left my chest for the entire 6 hours after I had him!
After this birth, I decided to become certified to teach the Bradley Method. I began teaching and taught over 50 couples before getting pregnant with baby #3. I KNEW I wanted to have a homebirth with this one. In the state of MD, homebirth is illegal with anyone other than a Certified Nurse Midwife, but you cannot find any who do homebirths since their back-up OBs won't let them. I used a lay midwife who has been doing homebirths here (illegally) for about 10 years. She was wonderful and I never doubted my decision! Plus, she was way more knowledgeable than the 30 year old CNM I used at the birth center
As good as my birth center birth was...my homebirth was 1,000 times better!!! I just cannot describe it in words--how totally cool it is to be the one in charge of your labor, to not have to answer to anyone but *your own body*, and for me, to have my 2 other boys there for the birth (ages 5 and 3). The best thing was to not have to pack up and go anywhere after the birth--to just get to *BE* as a family. This was also the most involved I have ever seen my DH at a birth! I think it helped that I was so educated on the true safety of homebirth from all my teachings and researching. Please feel free to e-mail me if you need/want info on homebirth!
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#17 of 27 Old 02-20-2003, 10:14 PM
 
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Now all you need is an unassisted homebirth! Thanks for the all around perspective! I didn't have a hospital birth but for the first I was at a birthcenter w/midwives and it was near perfect. My only complaint was having to go somewhere to give birth. Gave birth at home next time and it was just as you described, the best for our family.

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#18 of 27 Old 02-20-2003, 11:04 PM
 
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wow, that's inspriing, Nicole! And good for you for getting what you want!
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#19 of 27 Old 02-20-2003, 11:14 PM
 
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My advice for a homebirth. Is to ENJOY, it is so relaxing and marvelous to be in your own home. DH and I are always talking about differant points of h/b that each of us love.

edited to add that both our girls where born at home, the first birth was so great we couldnt wait to have another at home
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#20 of 27 Old 02-21-2003, 01:34 AM
 
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Hey Nicole, could you PM me the name of your lay midwife? I'm in Bethesda and interested in exploring the homebirth thing for next time....(planning ahead!)

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

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#21 of 27 Old 02-21-2003, 06:02 PM
 
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trying again - I got disconnected arghhhh.
I take it that you will be looking for a midwife but you can find my birthstory here at MDC - After two horrendous hospital births I swore no one would ever touch me in birth ever again, and I went on to have birth beyond my wildest dreams.

I think the best advice I can give is to know that midwife or no, birth can be trusted, your body knows what to do. I dream of the day when it would be common place to have babies at home again, and Ob's stick to the rare "specialty" cases they were trained to handle in the first place. Good luck!
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#22 of 27 Old 02-22-2003, 09:23 PM
 
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A woman is the queen in her own home. It is the only place to have a baby.

Why go anywhere else?

You have the HOME COURT ADVANTAGE.

Any athlete will tell you that.
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#23 of 27 Old 02-22-2003, 11:18 PM
 
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something that stuck in my mind, I thought I'd share, the other day at my birth prep class, the instructor said that in cases where they transported before the baby came, the mother wasn't absolutely committed to birthing at home, and had kept the idea of hospital and meds in the back of her mind. in one case not taking into account that after transporting, which in this case involved insuring they'd be accepted to the hospital before heading out incase it were already over croweded, seeing as they were ok to use a number of local hospitals as backup, and registering once they got there, since pre-registering wasn't the point of homebirth, there was a 1.5 hour wait to get pain meds - this she didn't count on. So, they advised to try to be commited as possible, to stick it out, because unless there's an emergency, transporting because you think you can't handle it probably won't be easier. It wasn't a case of planning ahead, it was a case of keeping options in your mind that probably weren't that reasonable - ie: you should believe that you're going to go the distance and be commited to the outcome.

hope that makes sense...
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#24 of 27 Old 02-23-2003, 12:04 AM
 
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Very Excellent Point MysticHealer Mother!

If you go to the hospital after planning for a homebirth, the hospital will MAKE you wait for meds b/c they want to know what is going on w/ you before they medicate you!

After the transport and checkin you will have to wait one-two-three hours for any anesthesia.

So if you want a homebirth, plan on a homebirth, not a hospital birth.

Birth is a Head Trip!
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#25 of 27 Old 02-23-2003, 12:44 AM
 
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Yup, that helped my thinking - i figured i was commited to homebirth before - but, that info helps, too. If you get to 6-8cm and decide you can't do it - different than if everyone thinks you're not progressing, then transporting at that point will only prolong things, not bring instant relief once you get there. My ba's thought that 6cm was home-free - for the most part. that once you get there, it's as bad (pain-wise) as it's gonna get in most cases. transition, they said, was something different, but not worse. that's a different insight than the birthing infomentaries (?) who act like, 10cm and it's all down hill - er, not quite.

now that my name is in my sig, i don't know what to sign off with....

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#26 of 27 Old 02-23-2003, 01:27 AM
 
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My midwife, after my last birth, told me that she had just transported a VBAC patient to the hospital who wanted to prove to HERSELF (and I guess anyone else who cared) that a natural vaginal birth was possible in hospital.

My midwife transported her for a prolonged second stage of labor and b/c the dh wanted to transport her. The baby was +5 and she was fully dialated to 10 cm.

When she finally delivered, she wanted to introduce everyone in the maternity ward to her (my) midwife. It was then that my midwife realized that this is what this woman wanted was a labor sitter and not a midwife.

Get clear on what you want.

It is an American cultural view of the last 60+ years that says that the safest place for a baby to be born is in the hospital. It is not a fact.
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#27 of 27 Old 02-23-2003, 09:18 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that if you don't know how many centimeters you are dialated, then you won't feel pressured to perform. Many women want to know how they are progressing and don't follow the clues of their body but want a medical examination to know what is going on inside. IMO if you just let the labor progress with the certian knowledge that your body was created to do this, then you don't have to fight the fear that so often overtakes a woman in labor. Embrace your labor and focus on the relaxing and opening of your body, and the baby that is working on this birth with you.

It is no good to birth at home if we are just trying to "prove something." For some women, the hospital just feels safer and they do have trouble progressing at home. Find out before you enter labor if this going to be a problem for you. If so, you can reajust your mind set so that you have confidence in your own body and not in the medical interventions, or be realistic about your feelings and change your expectations.

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