What do you wish you would have known beforehand? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 356 Old 11-02-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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This depends on your relationship with your neighbors, and how near/far they are, but I'm glad I told my closest neighbors I was planning a homebirth so they wouldn't freak out if they heard me, um, screaming, or saw cars arriving and lights on in the middle of the night. Also, if we had needed to call on them in an emergency, we wouldn't have had to explain what we were doing and why.

As it turned out, the women on my street were happy and excited for us each time they saw the lights go on and the midwives pull up.
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#92 of 356 Old 01-12-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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This is a wonderful thread! I agree that it should be stickied! Thanks for helping me to prepare for my future homebirth!

Jessica, Single Mama to Lailah(4) and Christopher(2)
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#93 of 356 Old 01-12-2008, 03:13 PM
 
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Stickying. (Does anyone actually read the stickies, though? )
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#94 of 356 Old 01-17-2008, 03:03 AM
 
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Stickying. (Does anyone actually read the stickies, though? )
Absolutely! And thoroughly enjoy them

Dd 9/99 via csection. 6 lbs 10oz

Dd 1/11 via vbac. 8 lbs 10oz

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#95 of 356 Old 01-17-2008, 03:10 AM
 
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Stickying. (Does anyone actually read the stickies, though? )
For sure! I just read it and took notes. Thanks! What a great thread.
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#96 of 356 Old 01-19-2008, 01:02 AM
 
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Stickying. (Does anyone actually read the stickies, though? )
YES!

Soooo much to think about....

Used to be stay at home parent to our two lovely girls, survived nursing school with family intact, about to graduate and looking for a job! I low-supply nursed my bio daughter for 3 years. 

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#97 of 356 Old 01-21-2008, 04:44 PM
 
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that I really would want that juice. Really my homebirth couldn't have gone better.. but I had bought the juice the midwife wanted me to have on hand, went overdue and we ended up drinking it before hand and I forgot to buy more that week. While in labor I REALLY wanted something to drink to help keep my energy up and we only had enough left for one glass.. it was wonderful but after that I was stuck w/ water.

Suzanne~ wife to Jesse, Momma to 3

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#98 of 356 Old 01-21-2008, 06:48 PM
 
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One thing I wish I had known before attending a recent birth... sports drink is better than water. My last client was so determined to stay hydrated that she had a seizure from electrolyte imbalance. I won't force it, but from now on I am going to strongly encourage it sports drink during a long labor.
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#99 of 356 Old 01-22-2008, 01:45 AM
 
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Stickying. (Does anyone actually read the stickies, though? )

Absolutely! Great thread, ty all!
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#100 of 356 Old 01-22-2008, 10:12 AM
 
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I wish I would have made it perfectly clear to my husband where the birthing supplies were and how they were to be used. Our birth ended up being unassisted, so it would have been helpful for him to know what a receiving blanket was used for and where to find it!
I was terrified about tearing again, and the baby's head was crowning FAST, and our mw was not there yet. I yelled at dh to get the olive oil for perineal support. He had absolutely NO IDEA what the olive oil was for or what he was supposed to do with it, poor man. It was a moot point anyway, because by the time he got in position, there was no time for the olive oil, and he needed to catch. I only had one small tear that didn't require stitching, though.

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#101 of 356 Old 01-23-2008, 01:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by eirual
Have an Enema handy (my little piece of heaven and c-section preventer )- my midwife asked her coleague to bring one after I requested one since hers was expired.
Why is an enema a c-section preventer? What are the benefits of enema before labor? what kind do you use?
I'm very curious about this too! How would this help? Because if it will, then by gods, enema me up! (I did think the body, ideally produces something like a natural enema preceding labor, though I confess I don't know the whole mechanism involved well.)

Anyone know?
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#102 of 356 Old 01-23-2008, 01:59 AM
 
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Some people think having an enema can speed up labor or kickstart a stalled labor, much the way that castor oil does. Others will hold back from pushing if they think they might defecate while doing so.
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#103 of 356 Old 01-23-2008, 02:11 AM
 
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Thanks Arwyn! I can sorta see that. Not sure whether I'll keep one on hand, but heck, maybe - it might not hurt.
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#104 of 356 Old 01-24-2008, 02:05 AM
 
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things i will change for next homebirth:

*make sure we can keep pool water warm enough--i ended up in lukewarm water and was so cold after baby was born!

*i will know what to have on hand to eat and drink that will actually nourish me and help the anxiety and keep me calm. also have someone there to make first meal.

*sort of relating to above, i wished someone had told me that i needed to eat foods rich in fats and protein instead of fruit and juices that are only sugar and not good for breastfeeding. (my milk began to wane, unbeknownst to me, and my son lost a pound in the first few days and took literally weeks to gain it back. also to make sure to have key supplements on hand to help my adrenals and general stuff)

*i wished someone would have made me sleep when baby was sleeping and took baby away from me so i could rest. (i was super alert and afraid of letting baby out of my sight and had some major consequences of not sleeping and having so much anxiety. i also felt like i needed to be where everyone else was and didn't want to miss out on anything, but next time i will practically lock myself in my room and become a hermit, lol)

*i wished someone would have insisted that the sun would be good for baby's jaundice and that it would be good for me too. (it was recommended to take baby out, but i was so petrified of the sun that i didn't do it enough and it made me so afraid)

okay, that's all i can think of for now. i am not pregnant now, but we plan to ttc in the next few months and i love thinking about all these details! we are in a new house since we moved last year and i think overall it will be a nicer atmosphere to give birth in.

*oh one other thing...my mw had insisted that i not do stairs for a week so in our old house we set up a mattress on the bottom floor and i stayed down there which i would not do again. thankfully our new bedroom is much bigger and we have a fairly large sized tub, although i don't know if it's big enough to give birth in, but i will have someone carry me upstairs if i end up giving birth downstairs so i can be in my own room and i am not surrounded by the tv and the kitchen and toys etc.

i'm like some of you, i need to do these kinds of things alone with husband and maybe midwife. i gotta say though, for my first i think having the mw and her assistant was distracting. i don't think it necessarily slowed my labor, but i was feeling like i just couldn't be totally myself and move the way i felt i needed to. that's just me, though. the next time may be different, or at least i hope it is.
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#105 of 356 Old 01-31-2008, 08:27 AM
 
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I wish I'd realized that by being home and more relaxed I might not notice labour progressing and be surprised to find myself suddenly at the pushing stage. Baby literally crowning as midwife came in the front door.
I also wish I'd thought about the fact plastic sheeting with a blanket over it is NOT a birthing surface. Like birthing on ice!!!!
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#106 of 356 Old 01-31-2008, 01:16 PM
 
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This one is just an observation on my part, but I wish I had known that I would have preferred DS' grandma be present for the birth. I really regret not inviting her to be present. I was worried about how her presence would affect me but now I just really regret it.

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#107 of 356 Old 01-31-2008, 04:49 PM
 
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This one is just an observation on my part, but I wish I had known that I would have preferred DS' grandma be present for the birth. I really regret not inviting her to be present. I was worried about how her presence would affect me but now I just really regret it.
I wonder how to know who are the right people to be at the birth or even in the house? How could you know ahead of time?
DH and midwife are a given for me, but I'm not sure about my mom, or Dh's parents
I am not sure about being able to let go in a sexual way around parents!
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#108 of 356 Old 02-02-2008, 02:08 AM
 
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I wonder how to know who are the right people to be at the birth or even in the house? How could you know ahead of time?
DH and midwife are a given for me, but I'm not sure about my mom, or Dh's parents
I am not sure about being able to let go in a sexual way around parents!
If you don't think you'd be comfortable with them seeing you at your most primal I'd say to not have them there.

The plastic sheeting comment is a good one. We had one on our bed but it was so slippery I couldn't focus so I got off it and birthed my son on a tarp at the end of the bed.
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#109 of 356 Old 02-08-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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That it would still feel painful. I thought that being at home and with just my dh, my bff, and the mw, would make it peaceful and pain-free. Peaceful, yes! Pain-free, yeah right!
I am reminding myself of this daily!! I keep telling myself "being at home won't make it pain free".

I'm almost 35-weeks and am pouring over this thread. Thank you all from a first timer SO MUCH for taking the time to post your thoughts on this!!!

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#110 of 356 Old 02-15-2008, 09:17 PM
 
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The only thing I wish I would've known ahead of time is that my upper thighs would hurt the entire time. I knew there would be contractions (of course), and my midwife told me about back labor and tension, but she neglected to tell me that my thighs would hurt and that there would be nothing (that I found, anyhow,) to relieve the pain. It felt like I had woken up the next morning from running for a long time. It seemed like the only two things I could do was take a bath, which helped, or walk around, which hurt a lot, but hurt a lot less than standing still or, worse yet, laying down. It does go away after you have the baby, though, so at least there's that.
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#111 of 356 Old 02-19-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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I had an hbac, and I didn't realize how truly 'hands-off' a birth with a midwife would be.

With birth #1 (hospital), I was told when it was 'okay' to push, they did the typical 3 sets of 10 (yelling at me), etc.

My midwife never did any internal exams, so I never knew how far along I was. She trusted my body to do what it needed to do, but I guess (looking back) that I needed that to prove things were going well. I think I held off on pushing (though I needed to) for about 15-20 b/c she hadn't said I could. I didn't know how far I was, so I didn't know pushing was okay. I ended up saying something like, "Is it okay if I push now?" And, she said if I felt like I needed to push, to push.

So, I guess be sure to discuss with your attendant how much 'tinkering' she'll do vs how much you want/need to be comfortable.
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#112 of 356 Old 02-20-2008, 10:59 PM
 
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Three weeks postpartum here, and I would have liked to know about all that "thigh labor"! I also called the midwife too early- next time I'll wait until it's THAT bad, when I'm hardly coping with the pain.

Also- having some kind of breathing pattern or SOMETHING is really important because NOTHING will help you through the pain- not any position or movement.

I also thought I'd be able to have a practically unassisted birth- but my mother and friend turned out to be LIFESAVERS! And having massage during contractions really gives you another sensation to concentrate on other than burning thighs and awful stomach pains.

I had no problems with my midwife, so no advice there!

Good Luck to anyone having a baby- you are extremely powerful, you CAN and WILL do it and it is all worth it.
I just wish someone could have told me how long it was going to last! (Approximately thirty hours... ouch!)
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#113 of 356 Old 02-21-2008, 09:05 PM
 
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My midwife had us order a birthing kit from http://www.inhishands.com/html/birthkit.html that had everything I needed, aside from a few other things she told us to have on hand (about 7 old towels, saucepan for boiling water to use for hot compresses on the perenium during pushing, and a large plastic shower thing to put on the bed to protect it). The most important things I remeber that we used from the birthing kit were the disposable birthing pads, organic comfrey herbs--used to apply to my 1/2 centimeter tear which didnt require stitching and gauze pads for the warm compresses.
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#114 of 356 Old 02-21-2008, 09:21 PM
 
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This probably won't apply to you as you've already had one birth, but I wish I had known that my mom had fast labors--that way maybe I would have considered that I might have a fast labor, too (it was 7 1/2 hours, not terribly short but fairly short for a 1st labor)--and not had the stress of having waited too long to call DH and the midwife and actually been in the pushing stage by the time they arrived, which was about 20 minutes before DD was born.

Also, it would have been nice to know that pushing can be terrible...all I ever heard/read was that pushing was such a relief, but it was not like that for me at all. I never really got an urge to push, it was more like the baby was coming whether I was going to help or not (although I'd already spent some time trying not to push since nobody was there and maybe that had something to do with it), and there was sooo much pressure down there. That was by far the worst part of labor for me.

Oh, and nobody warned me about the after-contractions where your uterus is shrinking. Those were seriously worse than the labor contractions! Or the fact that I would be so sore afterwards. The first several days post-partum were pretty awful, even with a fairly short labor and only a minor tear.
I can relate to just about everything you said. It was my first birth so I was expecting no shorter than a 10 hour labor. Turned out my labor was only 5 hours. I had spent the majority of it not pushing. My midwife was afraid she might not make it in time since she was driving through rush hour traffic. She sent over another midwife who lived closer. She checked me as soon as she got there (1 hour before the baby came out) and low and behold the baby's head was already crowning. Boy, I was surprised. So she said that I can start pushing when I have my next contraction. I got the hang of pushing and after a while I guess in a way pushing was a relief because it made more progress on getting the baby out. I pushed for 1 hour--it was longer than I expected to push since the baby's head was already crowning when I did my first pushing. As far as all the heavy pressure down there, yes I didn't know it would feel like that but even from early on I kept saying that it feels like I need to poop (although I really didn't need to) and the midwife was saying on the phone NOT to push because it would push the baby out if I did. I didn't know about after contractions either but once the placenta was out, then the contractions weren't bad.

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#115 of 356 Old 02-26-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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Great thread!

I'm 40w1d, anxiously awaiting any signs of labor! So excited for my :!
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#116 of 356 Old 02-26-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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I wish I knew to have LOTS of hot water. I need to figure out how to adjust our water heater this time, because boiling water wasn't cutting it.

Eat and drink when you first feel signs of labour. By the time I was hungry I was too busy labouring to eat or drink!

Get enough rest. I went into labour exhausted!

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#117 of 356 Old 02-27-2008, 09:17 PM
 
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Have your cupboards stocked with all your staples, peanut butter, bread, garlic, tp, soap of all kinds etc....

No matter how great your attendents are, you are the only one that can push your baby out.

Don't let anyone tell you when, how long or how hard to push. Ask them to be silent or to say things like, "Oh I can see hair."

Dance to your favorite music.

Have fun.

Move around at will.

Put a sign on the door saying, "Pregnant mommy resting!"

Take the phone off the hook.
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#118 of 356 Old 03-02-2008, 11:24 AM
 
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Wow thanks for all the advice! I'm planning my first homebirth for this summer, and wow! I feel like a sponge soaking up all this information! Thanks so much ladies!!
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#119 of 356 Old 04-01-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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Wow, I just read this whole thread and I have to say thank you to all those mamas who gave advice! There are things I would've never thought of!
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#120 of 356 Old 04-01-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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Wow, I just read this whole thread and I have to say thank you to all those mamas who gave advice! There are things I would've never thought of!
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