What do you wish you would have known beforehand? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 14Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#121 of 356 Old 04-03-2008, 02:40 PM
 
Eresh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Gainesville, VA
Posts: 774
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We had powdered gatorade but after a couple of hours it was aggravating my heartburn too much so my DH started making me honey water. He put it in a nalgene bottle with a flip up straw so I could drink in pretty much any position. Then he'd hand it to me for a sip after every contraction. Worked wonders for getting me through a 23 hr labor where I could barely choke down any food.

It's comforting to see women with "thigh" labor. I had intense pain in my hips that would shoot down the outsides of my thighs. I'd heard about back labor, but I knew LO wasn't posterior, so I wasn't expecting pain that bad at all.

Loving DH geek.gif, raising DS1 learning.gif(01/08) and DS2 bfinfant.gif(10/10), caring for cat.gif x 3 .
Eresh is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#122 of 356 Old 04-06-2008, 05:09 PM
 
Shell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our midwife gave us a handout entitled, "what to do if the baby arrives before the midwife." From that handout I made a box of items that I deemed to be absolutely essential for a quick unassisted homebirth -- and lo and behold -- we needed it! I would advise anyone to do the same! In our box (actually, a small plastic tub that could also be used for putting the placenta in) we had:
  • The handout on what to do!
  • One pair of sterile gloves
  • Bottle of povidone-iodine solution
  • 3 chux pads
  • Cord Clamp
  • Pair of scissors (which would need to be sterilized)
  • 1 or 2 receiving blankets
  • Baby hat
  • Some sterile 4 x 4 gauze pads

When it became obvious that the baby was coming FAST (total labor was 2 hours), we were grateful to have everything in one place. The other supplies were also there, but we didn't have to go digging through crates for what we needed.
Shell is offline  
#123 of 356 Old 04-21-2008, 04:38 PM
 
ilovejeff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great thread! subbing

So this is bliss! Proud mama to Katie, born gently at home 10/4/09, wife to my nursing student hubby (LPN down, RN here we come!), and coming in September....Katie's little brother!
ilovejeff is offline  
#124 of 356 Old 04-22-2008, 11:13 PM
 
OliveJewel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 550
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can't decide whether to get one or not. We have a jacuzzi and mw said it's ok to labor in there as long as water hasn't broke. Also, so said no cannot deliver in the bath because it's not deep enough-- if baby is in half air/half water it could aspirate. I DO think bathtub would be fine, but I can't argue that point with her. What's holding me back is the cost and the fact that I never pictured myself having a waterbirth. Who thinks it's essential and who thinks NBD?
OliveJewel is offline  
#125 of 356 Old 04-24-2008, 07:03 PM
 
swissmiss2584's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ca
Posts: 710
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
:
swissmiss2584 is offline  
#126 of 356 Old 05-06-2008, 10:59 PM
 
HoneyTree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: In the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas
Posts: 1,611
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl View Post
I wish I had known:

-how much privacy I would want. Even in my own apartment, with a birth team completely of my choosing, I felt OBSERVED. When I spent hours alone in the bathroom, I felt vaguely guilty. The amount I wanted to be alone was a total surprise to me.
OMG, exactly! And who wants to spend headspace in social anxiety while trying to birth!?!? I asked my mom and sister to come, and told my mw it was OK for her to bring two of her midwives-in-training, one of which also had a baby. It was craziness. I totally should have listened to my heart instead of my brain--I really thought I might want to be alone, but also wanted the validation of having a big "team" of supporters, but that's just not the way I am.
HoneyTree is offline  
#127 of 356 Old 05-07-2008, 04:15 PM
wbg
 
wbg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: embracing the chaos
Posts: 868
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
with regards to the tub! I had got mine all hooked up and tested as recommended. I was also told to turn up my hot water heater so I have enough water during labour. Smart move! However...be careful! Although I told everyone to be careful not to scald themselves on the hot water, I did not think about the effects on my appliances. Subsequently the hot water melted my washing machine pump so I was stuck dealing with flooding laundry and expensive plumbing bill!! oops! Once your hot water is turned up, use the cold water cycle only!!! Seems obvious in retrospect!!
Now that you have organised the practical side of the birth, I wish you a wonderful and inspiring birth experience!

wbg...constantly amazed by Z , cherishing I , inspired by P , adoring K and still getting butterflies when I wake up with B !
wbg is offline  
#128 of 356 Old 05-08-2008, 03:16 PM
 
momto4kids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: WI
Posts: 252
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
~ Make sure the person filling the tub does NOT fill it with cold water!!!! (my brother lovingly did this for me
~ if the photographer is using your camera make sure they know everything about it! We missed all newborn exam shots because of this w/ my last baby.

~ If you think you are in early labor it's best to let your birth team in on it.....my mom is always there & I didn't clearly state I was in early labor. Yea ~ she went to a going away party that same night : not fun having to track her down!!

Dana
momto4kids is offline  
#129 of 356 Old 05-09-2008, 09:42 PM
 
yaboobarb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 267
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Take photos and video.
I did not with my first because of modesty. I wish I did!
You can take it, and then don't show it to anyone!!! You will wish you did!
Barbara

Birthpower AWARENESS CAMPAIGN - Do you have your button yet?   www.BirthPower.us      
 

Did you ROCK that VBAC or Natural Birth? Honor yourself with a Birthpower Necklace! & Empowered Birth Lawn Sign!

PLEASE join our yearly-  EMPOWERED BIRTH AWARENESS WEEK.     

yaboobarb is offline  
#130 of 356 Old 05-29-2008, 03:06 PM
 
mom2a4Rashelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a WONDERFUL thread. I am planning an HBAC in Sept and looking forward to using all these wonderful ideas...Thank You!

   Wife for 11 amazing yrs, Mom to a son REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif(10), and three daughters loveeyes.gif (7),  love.gif(4),   energy.gif(3) hbac.gif, ..lost  angel.gif,(5) angel babies to early miscarriage....realizing we were not "finished" so we are expecting a lil BOY 1sttri.gif July 2012

mom2a4Rashelle is offline  
#131 of 356 Old 06-13-2008, 03:24 AM
 
jennadk3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wish I would've been more open about what I was feeling. I felt that the baby was coming FAST but no one believed me. The midwife on the phone said that I could be in labour for 12-24 more hours and to try and rest. That was definitely not going to happen. Luckily the midwife walked in the door 2 hours later literally 2 minutes after Troy was born.
jennadk3 is offline  
#132 of 356 Old 06-13-2008, 10:14 AM
 
yaboobarb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 267
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Jenna-
sounds like everything went right!!
You are a super birther!

My friends daughter birthed like this, and her second child was born in 15 minutes!

Birthpower AWARENESS CAMPAIGN - Do you have your button yet?   www.BirthPower.us      
 

Did you ROCK that VBAC or Natural Birth? Honor yourself with a Birthpower Necklace! & Empowered Birth Lawn Sign!

PLEASE join our yearly-  EMPOWERED BIRTH AWARENESS WEEK.     

yaboobarb is offline  
#133 of 356 Old 07-07-2008, 03:26 PM
Banned
 
vegan_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rocky Mountain High Colorado
Posts: 98
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Love this thread. . .

I'm mostly lurking because I couldn't think of anything to add.. .but I'm definitely taking notes for round two. . .

one thing that I can say that impacted my birthing was
reading Ina May Gaskin's book called Spiritual Midwifery.

And just trusting that my body was doing what it had to with out my mind getting in the way. Trusting the midwifes, and knowing that I was at home helped me feel so comfortable doing what I had to do which wasn't so comfortable. (haha)

:
vegan_mama is offline  
#134 of 356 Old 07-08-2008, 02:14 AM
 
coleysmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 9
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have noticed in several posts that people talked about needing the birth tools. I thought the midwife supplied all that..am I wrong?
coleysmom is offline  
#135 of 356 Old 07-09-2008, 01:13 AM
 
Hellga's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by coleysmom View Post
I have noticed in several posts that people talked about needing the birth tools. I thought the midwife supplied all that..am I wrong?
The midwives I have talked to, about possible future home/waterbirths, have all had different policies on this. One provides everything, including pool, one provides supplies but not pool, another provides nothing (but her fees are lower by almost $500).
Hellga is offline  
#136 of 356 Old 07-14-2008, 12:38 PM
 
mustangtbn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: just this side of Utopia
Posts: 236
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wish I'd known that women in my family (on both sides) have historically given birth at a minimum of 42 weeks, so I would have known to find a HB MW who was ok with that. I went through a lot of unnecessary stress and intervention last time because of going past 42 weeks. I have a different MW this time.

T , mom to S and C
mustangtbn is offline  
#137 of 356 Old 07-16-2008, 03:28 PM
 
sunrainlife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would have listened to my own body more.

I felt the *pushy* sensation and ask MW if I should push. She said to only push if I'm at 10cm (we hadn't checked dilation yet). I was afraid to check and find out I wasn't close, so I held off longer than I probably should have.

As soon as I felt pushy, I would have had MW check dilation and get to pushing!! I probably could have shortened my labor time.
sunrainlife is offline  
#138 of 356 Old 07-17-2008, 11:29 AM
 
Lizbiz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 498
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a homebirth at 37 1/2 weeks. I had worked all day (out of town, no less) the day before I went into labor at 4am. Some friends had even had a surprise shower for me the night before. I went into labor much earlier than anticipated (1st baby, really thought I would go later like all of my older sisters). I had actually been on an AIRPLANE less than a week before I went into labor. I was that sure I'd go later. CRAZY, I know!

So, my advice, you never know when it's going to happen. I convinced my husband that "this was the real thing" - so he got up, went running - and we commenced washing 6 loads of laundry and I went to the grocery store to stock up on food (we had gotten back from out of town only to work full time that week after having just moved into a new apartment - yes, we were crazy.).

It all sounds a little nuts, but we were also VERY excited. I was mentally prepared, if not physically, so everything worked out just fine. But I would recommend being physically prepared by 36 weeks. I totally think you should hire someone to clean your house from top to bottom at about 36 weeks. Yes to making meals, and yes to arranging for post-partum support.

I was glad to only have my husband and our midwives present at the birth. They were wonderful, and my husband was my rock. I totally depended on him, and I did not want to be alone to labor - I wanted to be with him and my midwives. I liked the support - I otherwise like I was doing this on my own.

I think my advice would be to be prepared, and also to be VERY honest with yourself about your preferences, and then honor yourself and your baby by making choices that will make you comfortable. Your comfort is really important to helping that labor go smoothly.

I also second the motion to cover the clocks. I just decided to do that to protect my sanity as my labor got a little long, and it really helped.

Great thread!

Lizbiz, wife to my man who makes me smile, and mom to one bouncy boy (08/07), one sassy girl (12/09), and one sweet new boy (08/12).

Lizbiz is offline  
#139 of 356 Old 07-17-2008, 07:50 PM
 
Pax3's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Springfield, VA
Posts: 123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm planning my first HB after delivering at a birth center, so this is really helpful! Thank you!

One note for after the birth - absolutely the best piece of post-birth advice I got -- get yourself a soft toilet seat and install it by about 36-37 weeks. The kind of padded seat elderly people usually use. The difference was phenomenal when I absolutely could NOT sit on a regular seat after the birth. :-)
Pax3 is offline  
#140 of 356 Old 07-23-2008, 06:26 PM
 
sheehanl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 12
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shell View Post
Our midwife gave us a handout entitled, "what to do if the baby arrives before the midwife." From that handout I made a box of items that I deemed to be absolutely essential for a quick unassisted homebirth -- and lo and behold -- we needed it! I would advise anyone to do the same! In our box (actually, a small plastic tub that could also be used for putting the placenta in) we had:
  • The handout on what to do!
  • One pair of sterile gloves
  • Bottle of povidone-iodine solution
  • 3 chux pads
  • Cord Clamp
  • Pair of scissors (which would need to be sterilized)
  • 1 or 2 receiving blankets
  • Baby hat
  • Some sterile 4 x 4 gauze pads

When it became obvious that the baby was coming FAST (total labor was 2 hours), we were grateful to have everything in one place. The other supplies were also there, but we didn't have to go digging through crates for what we needed.
Do you still have that handout? Does it have a website address? I've had two VERY fast labors ... I'd love to put a kit like this together for hubby! In addition, I'll take the other Mama's advice to give him a run through of where everything is ... and what it is for!! Great advice ... keep it coming!!!
sheehanl is offline  
#141 of 356 Old 07-25-2008, 09:45 AM
 
RubyOrganique's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 417
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Especially for a first time mom, there was truly power in being at home.

Yes, to so many of the suggestions on this thread which I utilized (thanks!!).

I couldn't have done it without a birth tub - highly worth the rental investment.

Though I had my doubts I would want a doula, she was essential to success even with an unbelievably supportive and engaged spouse. Also worth the effort to find a good match and worth every penny and then some. She was very much a novice, but had trained a lot. This can be a tough decision, but fortunately I followed my gut and she was definitely the right lady for the job!

Fruit, juice, broth and water prepped and ready was good. Energy bars, smoothies and anything with protein. I didn't much feel like eating but because my labor spanned 16 hours, I had no choice but to fortify.

Bending straws - must have.

We didn't get a lot out of our childbirth prep class, but Hypnobabies home study course was really helpful. Also worth the investment, but before you make it, know that it is a serious time investment over many weeks of your pregnancy. I didn't do nearly the work I should have with it so I probably only got a fraction of the benefits it may offer.

Be good about doing any position work that your mw may suggest. It doesn't guarantee good position, but it can't hurt. If it saves you back labor, it will be worth it 10x over.

Have a lot of towels, most of which you don't care about throwing out if you have to, available to your caregivers.

Cover your bed with a cheap plastic mattress cover, then old sheets on top. You can use a shower curtain, but we found this easier for staying in place.

Cover your pillows with plastic covers, too.

Have your mw show you the placenta and explain it a bit. It's fascinating!

Put up some frozen perineal pads for after.

Stock, stock, stock that frig, freezer and pantry. For the birth and after. We've been surviving on take-out pretty much which is not good for anyone or their wallet.

Get someone to video tape and take photos. I doubted I would want that and I'm thrilled our doula took the initiative to do so. DH didn't have to do it. The birth itself was utterly astonishing to watch. I'm not ready to watch video of the rest of it just yet, but i'm sure I will at some point.

Be prepared to rest and take help after the baby is born. I wasn't expecting the recovery for a vaginal delivery to be this challenging. Let people wait on you and definitely put time limits on their visits.

Have a note on the frig with a list of things they can do to help the mother - they'll all ask if you need or want anything, but this way you don't have to ask.

I'll post more if I come up with anything further. Best to all embarking on this journey. It is an awesome one.

mom to DD and one on the way, wife since 1997 to a great guy

RubyOrganique is offline  
#142 of 356 Old 07-30-2008, 07:40 AM
 
Sprout77's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I remember this thread really helping me before my HB, and I'm so happy to be reporting back with my own thoughts.

First of all, I had a homebirth, but at my midwife's "birthing cabin" (a separate little one-room cottage next to her house). I live in an apt, and I really liked the option of being outside during labor, which I was able to do in her large private yard (not that the neighbors couldn't hear me grunting and chanting with my husband and doula through contractions, but I didn't care at that point!). It felt so good to be able to be outside in the sun, walking barefoot on the grass slowly with my husband while in labor. It also made it easier since all the supplies were there, and it helped that I had gotten familiar with the space and the cozy cottage during all my prenatal meetings with my midwife.

Definitely record the labor and birth with camera and video! I didn't think I'd want video, but let my doula take some video anyway after reading here what many said about taking video, and when I finally decided to watch it (with my mom who was not at the birth) a few months later, I was SO happy to have it. It gave me a new view on my experience in labor. By the time my son was born, it was hard to really take in all that was happening, and so it's nice that I can re-watch the experience more objectively and see him all over again in those first moments. And like someone else said - teach the camera-person how the camera works. All of our photos from laboring outside were over-exposed because one button was mistakenly pushed!

And the biggest thing I worried about beforehand was whether I would be able to really trust my body and let go. What I realized is that EVEN THOUGH I was nervous and overwhelmed at times during labor, my body STILL did what it needed to do. I'm not saying that fear can't interfere with labor, but there are levels of fear. I was more cerebral during parts of my labor than I thought I should be, and didn't know if my body was doing the right thing, but at times like that I looked to my doula and midwife and husband for support (which they were great at supplying), and might just chant (and I'm not a chanter) something like, "Open, open, open," or something else positive to get through the fear, and it seemed to have worked because my labor never got stuck and actually progressed at just the right speed for me. Even though the contractions sometimes felt like too much to handle, I continually tried to welcome them and tried to remember that they were what were getting my baby out. But I guess my main message is that it's okay to be a little nervous or unsure of yourself - and so don't be nervous about being a little nervous. Your body is SO wise and SO powerful, and if you are a thinker and can't totally "get into" your body during labor, then let your brain help you and have some mantras or other positive thoughts ready to help you through.

As far as waterbirth goes, I REALLY wanted to get into the water pretty early on, and was so happy when my midwife said I could (around 7-8 cm). Transition was hard in the water, but the pushing was so peaceful and painless, it was crazy! I will definitely be doing a waterbirth for my second as well, and would highly recommend having the option available!
Sprout77 is offline  
#143 of 356 Old 08-27-2008, 02:22 PM
 
white_queen_22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 357
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My midwife gave us a poster for our front door - fil in the blanks style.

It said "CONGRATULATIONS!

Baby _____________ arrived at ______ on ______________ and weighed ________________ at ________________inches long.

Mother and baby need plenty of rest so while you are welcome to come and bring a meal and well wishes, visitors who stay long then ten minutes should start laundry, do dishes or run the vaccuum cleaner.

Midwives name, CNM

It was awesome....people actually DID either limit their visits or HELP OUT.

Angela <><
white_queen_22 is offline  
#144 of 356 Old 08-28-2008, 09:22 PM
Banned
 
vegan_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rocky Mountain High Colorado
Posts: 98
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by white_queen_22 View Post
My midwife gave us a poster for our front door - fil in the blanks style.

It said "CONGRATULATIONS!

Baby _____________ arrived at ______ on ______________ and weighed ________________ at ________________inches long.

Mother and baby need plenty of rest so while you are welcome to come and bring a meal and well wishes, visitors who stay long then ten minutes should start laundry, do dishes or run the vaccuum cleaner.

Midwives name, CNM

It was awesome....people actually DID either limit their visits or HELP OUT.

Angela <><
That is SO GREAT!! Love it! I'm going to send that to my midwives :0)
vegan_mama is offline  
#145 of 356 Old 08-29-2008, 06:46 PM
 
yogamonkeyjo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dayton/Terre Haute
Posts: 220
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
but a diaper sprayer (like this) is worlds better than a peri bottle! Even if you're not using cloth diapers...man, what an amazing thing to have handy.
yogamonkeyjo is offline  
#146 of 356 Old 09-13-2008, 01:17 AM
 
jboo7506's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 22
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can anyone offer advice about books, websites, or DVDs that my husband can watch to help him get comfortable with being present at the home birth?

My husband has said he doesn't want to be in the room when the baby comes, he's freaked out by the "eww" factor. I really want him present and, if he is up for it, to catch the baby. I think he will look back and appreciate that he did that.

Help please! I am stressed about birthing while being uncomfortable with people watching. I don't even want my best friends or my mother there when the baby comes out, it's too personal. They are going to be offended I'm sure.
jboo7506 is offline  
#147 of 356 Old 09-13-2008, 05:14 PM
 
jboo7506's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 22
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jboo7506 View Post
They are going to be offended I'm sure.

What I meant by that is they will be offended that they won;t be able to see the birth. just to clarify
jboo7506 is offline  
#148 of 356 Old 09-18-2008, 03:07 AM
 
Bella Catalina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: L.A.
Posts: 1,614
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jboo7506 View Post
Can anyone offer advice about books, websites, or DVDs that my husband can watch to help him get comfortable with being present at the home birth?

My husband has said he doesn't want to be in the room when the baby comes, he's freaked out by the "eww" factor. I really want him present and, if he is up for it, to catch the baby. I think he will look back and appreciate that he did that.

Help please! I am stressed about birthing while being uncomfortable with people watching. I don't even want my best friends or my mother there when the baby comes out, it's too personal. They are going to be offended I'm sure.
My DH is pretty freaked out, too, but imo that is because he was a little traumatized and very overwhelmed after our hospital birth (it happened so fast). If he's willing, watch some homebirth videos on youtube and bookmark your favorites for him to watch. DH plans to be up by my head, but may change his mind... he wasn't even sure about cutting the cord with DS and is glad he did it. I actually want to catch if possible, but if he decides he wants to, we will go with the flow. That's the biggest thing I'd recommend for the squeamish guys... go with the flow and just let it happen, he'll probably surprise you

write@home mama to big boy (04-06) and little boy (10-08)
and someone new in november stork-suprise.gif

Bella Catalina is offline  
#149 of 356 Old 09-18-2008, 03:35 AM
 
mamimapster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Shy-Town Square!
Posts: 1,842
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wished that I had made clear to my midwives some physical limitations/strengths/weaknesses that I have-During a very long pushing phase they had me doing a kind of thing that was like pulling on a rope-good idea but for me not great at all, very mentally demoralizing. I broke both elbows two years ago, and I was trying to push using the weakest part of my body, not the strongest which would have been my torso/legs/pelvis.
mamimapster is offline  
#150 of 356 Old 09-18-2008, 01:26 PM
 
MommyofHero's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: austin, tx
Posts: 239
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jboo7506 View Post
Can anyone offer advice about books, websites, or DVDs that my husband can watch to help him get comfortable with being present at the home birth?

My husband has said he doesn't want to be in the room when the baby comes, he's freaked out by the "eww" factor. I really want him present and, if he is up for it, to catch the baby. I think he will look back and appreciate that he did that.

Help please! I am stressed about birthing while being uncomfortable with people watching. I don't even want my best friends or my mother there when the baby comes out, it's too personal. They are going to be offended I'm sure.
the more birth videos that you and your husband watch together, the less freaked out you will both be regarding the birth process.
There are some wonderful videos on this site:
http://unassistedchildbirth.com/
He is most likely freaked out by the "eww" factor because of the overly-bloody and dramatic births that are depicted on movies and TV. Homebirths are not typically like that. Seriously, make him watch as many homebirth videos as possible. I made my DH do that and he's not a bit freaked out anymore
Also, you are allowed to have anyone you wish present at your birth. Many women find that laboring in solitude is the best, so wanting privacy is completely understandable. It's YOUR birth-- set the ground rules ahead of time as to who is allowed in the birthing room and who is allowed in the house. You may decide that you want no one around but your midwife and DH. There's nothing wrong with that!
good luck!
MommyofHero is offline  
Reply

User Tag List



Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off