What do you wish you would have known beforehand? - Page 9 - Mothering Forums
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#241 of 353 Old 11-01-2009, 11:55 PM
 
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wow! so much great information! cant wait to get back to it for my own preparations (hopefully not too long!)

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#242 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 12:12 AM
 
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I wish I'd known that SPD (symphisis pubis dysfunction) pain, incontinence, and bowel issues could signal a weak pelvic floor that should be strengthened before birth and that you probably shouldn't push (and definitely not unless there's a contraction) during birth. I have a prolapse now that I hope will heal without surgery. Also tore pretty bad even though it was in the water.

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#243 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 12:14 AM
 
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To really, really consider what I would need in the event of a hospital transfer and/or c-section. I had a cursory bag packed, but things were missing, and it was hard to get my devoted hubby to go home long enough to get them. It is all well and good to be in the zone of expecting everything to go perfectly, but sometimes s*it happens, and it is a load off to be prepared.
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I'm Kellie :, married to Chris , and mom to one baby girl (7/12/09).
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#244 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 01:10 PM
 
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I did not have a bag packed because of my confidence in my HBAC. I remember havind discussions with other homebirthers here about feeling like it would jinx us. Well, needless to say, it didn't and it was just silly that I didn't have a bag packed. The last thing I wanted to do in the moment was try to tell people where my underwear was and what dress to put on me, etc....

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#245 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 01:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sothisislove View Post
comfrey herb is a reoccuring theme...what do you do with it? How do you prepare it?

Also, what do you do with the placenta after? I'm due in December, so I'll need to freeze it...thaw and plant it in the spring. But do I just toss it in a gallon ziploc freezer bag? Will it fit?

Thanks for the awesome thread ladies!
My DH had the great idea of pre-digging a hole before the ground freezes and then we can bury it immediately even in the cold winter. We will then plant a tree or more likely a hydrangea in the spring.
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#246 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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One thing I remember from my first birth (hospital) was that I was really not hungry during labor, but I was FAMISHED afterwards. I wanted food and NOW!! So this time I'm trying to keep a supply of leftovers in the fridge, plus we have some stuff in teh freezer, so hopefully it should be easy to get something to eat fast. The ladies from church will bring dinners for a few days, but if baby comes in the morning then obviously I'll need food long before they bring anything!! I know some women make something and freeze it in advance and then take it out to thaw when labor starts--I haven't done that but like I said i've been making big meals for the last couple weeks (I'm due any day) and so there is a variety of leftover stuff in the fridge, both for me and for anybody else who needs to eat.


I ditto the recommendation for having straws for your drinks. Also, have several drink options. In the hospital I had juice AND water...depending on the moment sometimes I wanted one and sometimes the other. My mw also recommends gatoraid/recharge, so I will have all three available and can grab whichever one I need in the moment.

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
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#247 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 08:12 PM
 
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I had planned to water birth my baby but ended up getting out of the pool to push because baby's heartrate kept dropping in the pool. I had intense contractions in my lower belly that for the next baby I would make sure to have a heating pad or a rice sock to heat up in the microwave to lay on my belly to help relieve the pain when not in the pool.
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#248 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 08:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RedHen4 View Post
For those first few days of meconium diapers--coat the baby's bottom with petroleum jelly at each diaper change. The meconium-tar slides right off!
Alternately, as my mama said, don't feel guilty about using disposable diapers for that first week or two (even if you're a hard core cloth user like me). Not needing to do that laundry for a week or two helps you get a chance to rest.

On the other hand, I found that I REALLY preferred to have cloth pads for *me*...the hospital gave me regular sposie ones for the first 24hrs or so, and I was SO glad to get home to my cloth!! So much gentler on my sore parts.

In regards to sore parts, one thing I wished someone had told me was that if you ever need to sneeze/cough, do a kegel (squeeze everything in) and/or cross your legs *before* it...my last baby was a winter babe and I had a cough the whole week after he was born, and that was soooo painful. Keep your legs together as much as possible too. I ended up sitting cross-legged to nurse a lot and that was a baaad idea. I wish I had known.

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Originally Posted by huggerwocky View Post
That I'll be thirsty like a horse nursing and big pitchers and sigg bottles everywhere will be the subject of my daydreams.
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
I wish I would have disciplined myself to drink more water and eat more. It was only an 8 hour labor and birth with 1 hour of pushing, but I was whipped and because I didn't drink enough water my blood pressure bottomed out at 60/30
I had similar issues with the BP going haywire

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Originally Posted by cherryblossom View Post
*make sure we can keep pool water warm enough--i ended up in lukewarm water and was so cold after baby was born!
This is my first waterbirth, but my sister had a similar experience as cherryblossom--her tub got so cold she couldn't stand to get back in it. She said she's subsequently learned to keep a tarp or a shower curtain or something and if/when you get out of the pool just pull the plastic over it to contain the steam (and thus the heat). That way it will maintain its temperature better. Also you can heat some pots of water on the stove--a few pots of boiling water distributed into a cooling pool can warm it back up (of course you may need to take out some of the cool water first so you have room to add the hot!)


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Originally Posted by mkmoro311 View Post
Make sure everyone knows where the Video camera is set up so people don't block it! We have a lot of my midwifes butt on film!
I'm sorry but wow that's funny.

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
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#249 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PseudoDiva View Post
Here is my question. This will be my first birth, and we're planning on a homebirth.

My mom really wants to be there. We have a good relationship but I still have reservations. I told her I wanted a doula, but she thinks she can act as a doula, or that another friend could do it. I tried to explain to her that I felt it would emotionally complicate things, but she doesn't seem to understand this. I know she'll respect my decision, but what I'm getting from this thread is that most people found it helpful NOT to have moms there.

Any thoughts?
My mom had homebirths for most of her kids--I (eldest child) attended several of them. I have actually been grateful that she lives several states away and can't be with me for my births--I'd love to have her afterwards, but as much as I love her and know she could be supportive etc, I know that *I* would feel crazy performance anxiety about birthing in front of her. I pretty much told her that when she was arranging a flight to come up this time and we were discussing dates and she said she'd love to be here for the birth... It's not a matter of not having a good relationship, it's just a matter of this being something that I need to do without her.

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
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#250 of 353 Old 11-02-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MommyMad View Post
I haven't done this before, but I plan on having my regular fitted sheet first then have a plastic sheeting with the elastic around it and on top of that another fitted sheet which I don't care if it gets bloody or not - I think that should work.
That's what we've done, although DH is a wiggly sleeper, and I find I'm having to restraighten the plastic and top fitted sheet almost every day... It's better than having amniotic fluid or blood get all over in our brand new mattresses though!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily's_Mom View Post
I'm also wondering about the birth-laundry. Hot water would set the blood stains, right? So I thought a cold pre-wash, followed by a warm or hot wash with the detergent and oxyclean would be the best bet? (Kind of like washing diapers. )
Hot/warm water will release fresh blood (like it will make a wound bleed out, whereas cold water helps it clot). So if the blood is fresh, then a warm rinse can be very effective--I always rinse out my mama cloth in warm/hot water right when I change the pad and most of the blood comes out right then.
However, if it's dried/darkened a bit, then yes, a cold rinse is the best way to start. Hydrogen peroxide will take blood out of the carpet (I had a massive m/c on the carpet in a rental...a bottle of HP later and no traces remained ) I presume HP will get blood out of sheets/towels too, although I also know that oxy-clean is essentially the same thing. I would let them soak in oxy-clean for an hour before running the wash load...leave the lid open on the washer so that it sits and soaks before the cycle starts or something. Whatever you do, check the stuff before throwing it in the drier--if it's not clean yet, then soak/wash again. If it's been through the drier the stains are more likely to set in. Not that it's impossible to get them out (oxy clean has impressed me repeatedly in that regard!) but it's harder to get them out...


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Originally Posted by tvantol View Post
Preparing for a hb in Dec. This was awesome. So glad I stumbled upon it. One lingering question, how much hassle was it to clean the birth tub and how did you dispose of the water? We are not able to pump it outside since it will likely be snow covered here in MN. This is THE lingering question I've yet to get an answer.
The waterbirth place I ordered from said there are two main options--one is to order a pump to get the water out, but she said if you put the hose between tub and pool, then run a little water through it toward the pool (to make sure there are no air bubbles in the hose), then just set the tub end down and it will slowly siphon out of the pool into the tub (or you could put it in the toilet or out the window or whatever...) Even across a fairly level surface w/o gravity to help, the vacuum in the hose will keep the water moving through the hose...or so she said! I sure hope it works, cuz I didn't feel like forking over $50 for the pump so I don't have one!!!

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
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#251 of 353 Old 11-04-2009, 05:46 AM
 
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Make sure your DP/DH knows EVERYTHING you do about homebirth, and knows how to coach you and you both know how to handle any situation that should arise. Because midwives don't always get there on time. I completely forgot everything while I was in labor, and DP wasn't prepared enough to help me, so we had to transfer. It sucked.

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#252 of 353 Old 11-04-2009, 01:21 PM
 
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BabyMae, sorry that things didn't go well with your birth -- I recommend hiring an experienced doula if your dh/dp isn't totally into the coaching thing -- as in isn't wanting to practice regularly, etc. My dh was not too helpful at my hospital birth in 03, so I knew I needed a doula this time around, and am glad I did since she was able to help me with the pain and also she helped me breathe through several contractions after I was ready to push before the midwife got here.

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#253 of 353 Old 11-04-2009, 06:57 PM
 
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I've seen the opposite said here, so this is just me:

I wish I had spoken up and not let my DH go to sleep so we could talk and rejoice. I was wired and high from birth and, because it was the middle of the night, people went home and DH went to sleep. I wanted visitors and a party. I laid there and cried. (I had a really bad labor, so I was too weak to pick up my baby by myself, so I couldn't even snuggle her.)

I wish I had restricted visitors more. My ILs came over two days later and I was still bedridden. I felt too vulnerable to have people that I wasn't close to (couldn't move much still and was bleeding heavily). And I was twitching while they held my baby.

I was all about having my mom there--but she is like my best friend. I wanted her there rubbing my back etc. But she ended up recovering from her first dose of chemo during labor, so all she could do was weakly watch. I am so happy she at least saw her granddaughter come out even though she couldn't act as my mommy.

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#254 of 353 Old 11-04-2009, 07:17 PM
 
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That sounds like a super plan. I'm steeling it.
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#255 of 353 Old 11-04-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleep View Post
make a sign for your door. Our mw had one all printed up that said:

"at homebirths we mother the mother. Please do something helpful/useful while you are here. Sweep the floor, quietly do the dishes, wash a load of laundry, or take out the trash. But most importantly, limit your stay to 15 minutes."

i liked their sign, but we didn't want visitors for a week. We printed one that told the baby's stats and that the new family was resting and getting to know eachother. We also put a date so they'd know when we would accept visitors, and instructions to call first. Then we just didn't answer the door.

after 1 week we used the mw's sign.


love love love this idea! Steel!
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#256 of 353 Old 11-19-2009, 06:46 PM
 
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Several pages prior, a midwife mentioned having electrolytes, not just water, for her birthing moms to drink. I wanted to suggest to NOT drink those sugary electrolyte drinks in the store (i.e. Gatorade and the like). I highly, highly recommend drinking coconut water before, during, and after birth instead of those sugary drinks for your electrolytes.

Look up the benefits of coconut water. It's amazing and I think it's wonderful for mommies! Here's a link at Amazon to see the various brands and flavors out there (plus reviews):

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?ur...=coconut+water

You can get it plain or flavored. I prefer flavored. Make sure you refridgerate it. It doesn't taste as good lukewarm, it tastes the best when it has been refridgerated.

Coconut water does go bad, so make sure you check the expiration date. It usually goes bad within a year of when it was packaged.

Hope this helps someone! This is a must for me!
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#257 of 353 Old 12-17-2009, 03:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Pookietooth View Post
So if a blanket on top of a plastic sheet is not a good surface, how do we protect the bed?
We used a fitted sheet (one that was "disposable" if need be - a thrift shop or rummage sale is a good place to find these), covered that with a shower curtain liner (like $2 from Lowe's) and then another fitted sheet (again, one that we could part with) on top. That protected the bed really nicely. I birthed in a birth tub, but I was still bleeding when I got out and into bed. It actually took a little while for the bleeding to stop, but everything washed out. We still have the sheets - never needed to toss them.

I also had LOTS of pillows. We covered these with garbage bags and put pillowcases over them. They were invaluable for early labor, since I just wanted to be on hands and knees rocking and I could stack a couple pillows and lean on them for support. I spent a lot of time on the bed just doing that, and it was so cute b/c my kitties got on the bed with me while I labored.

This thread is making me want to do it all again!

I should probably be doing something else right now.
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#258 of 353 Old 01-17-2010, 02:40 AM
 
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What a great thread! I've been taking notes. We are planning a homebirth. Due in June here!

Kate and Chris = Sam (07/03/08) and expecting #2 June 2010. M/C March 2009
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#259 of 353 Old 01-17-2010, 06:25 PM
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I wish I would have known that I would hate laboring in water. Could have saved myself $150 :
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#260 of 353 Old 01-17-2010, 06:40 PM
 
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taking more notes ! this is an awesome thread!

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#261 of 353 Old 01-17-2010, 10:01 PM
 
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Thanks so much for this thread, it's exactly what I needed! Great tips!!!

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a:5:{s:9:"signature";s:128:"Jacqueline: mommy to Ben (8.16.08) & Jack (8.1.10) *HBAC*";s:7:"insider";N;s:6:"awards";N;s:10:"selections";s:0:"";s:8:"featured";s:0:"";}
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#262 of 353 Old 01-22-2010, 05:46 AM
 
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I'm taking some serious notes. This thread is my favorite!

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#263 of 353 Old 01-22-2010, 06:47 AM
 
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I bought a waterproof mattress pad cover for my dd's bed- I'm fairly certain it actually is waterproof- it's always got a bunch of water in it when I wash it, like a puddle of water that I have to dump before I put it in the dryer.

Just food for thought for those not excited about the shower curtain idea!

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#264 of 353 Old 01-23-2010, 04:36 PM
 
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I wish I would have thought out what to do with ds, and prepped him better. He wanted to avoid the birth he was so freaked out by the concept of possibly seeing blood. As it turned out, I went into laber in the early am (thought that wouldn't happen) and I didn't get a chance to call my friend to come over, so he slept through part of it then woke right when I was breathing out the urge to push (because the midwife hand't gotten here). I could have called my friend when I called the midwife, although my labor was so rapid there's no guarantee she would have been here anyway.
Oh, and I wish I'd had someone take photos and maybe even video. Sigh.

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#265 of 353 Old 01-26-2010, 10:45 PM
 
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I am planning my first homebirth (ds was born in a FSBC) and want to add that I am planning on having some coconut water around to drink--it has the same electrolytic balance as human blood.

Didn't see that this had already been suggested!

Zoe, mama to one "rough and tough" dude (8/02/06) and one new sweet pie (4/11/10)
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#266 of 353 Old 01-27-2010, 09:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Zoeanne View Post
I am planning my first homebirth (ds was born in a FSBC) and want to add that I am planning on having some coconut water around to drink--it has the same electrolytic balance as human blood.

Didn't see that this had already been suggested!
Thanks for the tip!

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#267 of 353 Old 01-27-2010, 04:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoeanne View Post
I am planning my first homebirth (ds was born in a FSBC) and want to add that I am planning on having some coconut water around to drink--it has the same electrolytic balance as human blood.

Didn't see that this had already been suggested!
Yes, I second this. Coconut water was wonderful during my sons birthing. I noticed that there were different brands and flavors so I made sure to try one of each beforehand though. I'm so glad that I did because I really did not enjoy the taste of some of them.

It really was great during the birth though and not bad at all when it comes back up (unfortunately I vomited a bit)..

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#268 of 353 Old 01-27-2010, 07:17 PM
 
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I wish I would have used an enema so I didn't poop in the tub while pushing! Sooooo gross and I had to get out.

homebirthing organic mama to three crazy boys very blessed!!
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#269 of 353 Old 01-27-2010, 07:21 PM
 
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Oh and coconut water is the greatest thing for birth EVER. My midwife even said you can give a little bit to a baby that is having a little trouble adjusting.

I want to add that having a wire hanger handy in case the midwife needs to run an IV (she hangs the bag from the hanger on your curtain rod or a coat rack or something). I also had the needle in place for the IV, just in case I needed it (I have a history of pp hemmorage) and we did need to do fluids and IV pitocin, so I'm glad I had that in ahead of time.

homebirthing organic mama to three crazy boys very blessed!!
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#270 of 353 Old 01-27-2010, 07:30 PM
 
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I wish I would have known that given how 'low key' I was about my second birth NO ONE would be bringing food or offering to help. I thought my mom would be watching dd a lot of the time for a week but she dropped her off the afternoon of the birth.


Make sure you have plans for who/when someone will be helping with other children. I was SO overwhelmed as dh was still finishing school and taking finals.

Postpartum with a second child can be so exhausting!

Oh and I wish I had known my mom would stand up and walk in front of the video tripod RIGHT when ds was coming out! When I watched the video I couldn't believe it. You can't see a thing!

So put the video camera somewhere where people can't stand in front of it or make sure everyone is very aware of it's presence.

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