Seriously, I could have written your post. I heard the same things, "brainwashed", "unsafe", "not worth the risk", "don't want to read anything because I won't be convinced". I guess I'm considering myself lucky in that with 2 healthy births behind me (hospital births, both epidurals), DH has seen the light at least to the extent that if it's something that's going to make my birth comfortable he's for it. What helps in our situation, and I made it a point to be frank with him, was that when I needed him most to support my choice for a natural birth, in the hospital, he wasn't there for me. I expected it from the nurses and doctors, but not him. Granted he was scared and didn't want to see me go through that pain, but the disappointment afterwards was not worth the 10 - 15 minutes of pain I would have lived through. Anyway, he really wants me to have the birth I want this time around. It helped a great deal that we found a midwife he likes.
I wish you luck Amy with your DH. And hope you get to have your homebirth. Take him to some Bradley classes. Lots of folks recommended that approach.