Midwife is "dropping" me from care...UPDATED PICTURES....Post 274 - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 289 Old 09-27-2007, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 289 Old 09-27-2007, 11:30 PM
 
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You can do this!

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#3 of 289 Old 09-27-2007, 11:33 PM
 
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I had both my babies after telling my body it was time and I was ready. I believe in your body and the strenght you have to get the birth you want. Lay down, release your fears, and let that baby come join us all out here! You can do this.

Megan Davidson, Labor & Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Anthropologist, Mom to August (9) and Clay (4), Partner to Shawn.

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#4 of 289 Old 09-27-2007, 11:51 PM
 
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My CNM gave me an induction date when I was 12 days post-dated, and it irked me at the time, but she said later that she thinks giving a deadline, psychologically gets mothers communicating with their babies that time is of the essence. I wouldn't have gone in for the induction, but she said she has never had to induce using that tactic. I think it's kind of crappy anyway. FTW, she is a VERY NO-LOW intervention midwife, and I wish she would do homebirths, darn it. But since SHE's not we're planning a UC this time.

Well, you have some time. With HBA2C I wouldn't do cohoshes or castor oil, but I also wouldn't go in for the C-Sec. I would just show up at the hospital when I went into labor really progresse labor, and refuse a section. Or I would just have a UC .

Good Luck to you. Sending LOTS of labor vibes your way. Lots of sex and walking. And you know what they say about the benefits of the prostaglandin hormone ingested orally .
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#5 of 289 Old 09-27-2007, 11:56 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you've been put in such a hard spot! I too believe that you can do this, and that you must, above all other factors, trust your instincts on this one.

I wonder if maybe it would be possible to give the mw student a call and ask her privately if she'd be willing to doula for you? I dunno if that would be putting her in a tough spot with her mentor, but since you feel a connection with her, maybe it'd be something she'd be willing to consider in an unofficial capacity? That might be enough to keep your aunt happy.

But whatever happens, you have a bunch of us in your corner! I'm so proud of you/inspired by your strength in standing against what would be easier (since I'm sure by this time you are beyond ready to be holding that sweet little one!) to do what you know is right.

Blessings,

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#6 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 12:02 AM
 
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Mama, come on over to the UC forum. There's lots of support there.

Quote:
but she said later that she thinks giving a deadline, psychologically gets mothers communicating with their babies that time is of the essence. I wouldn't have gone in for the induction, but she said she has never had to induce using that tactic.
: Talk about power structure.

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#7 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 01:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by SheBear View Post
I wonder if maybe it would be possible to give the mw student a call and ask her privately if she'd be willing to doula for you? I dunno if that would be putting her in a tough spot with her mentor, but since you feel a connection with her, maybe it'd be something she'd be willing to consider in an unofficial capacity? That might be enough to keep your aunt happy.
I
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#8 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 02:04 AM
 
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Good Luck to you. Sending LOTS of labor vibes your way. Lots of sex and walking. And you know what they say about the benefits of the prostaglandin hormone ingested orally .
I think a man came up with that one......
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#9 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 02:25 PM
 
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Is your midwife licensed? Is that the reason for her feeling uncomfortable about attending your birth after 42 weeks? Maybe her rules say she can't?

Has she tried to strip your membranes while using evening primrose oil? I know that can work if your mw knows what she's doing and if your body is teetering on the edge. I completely agree with not doing anything like the cohoshes and castor oil, but what about homeopathics? My mw suggests some that can work and should be gentle enough even though you are a vbac.

It's great that you have such faith in your body and in this process.

have you looked into other mw's in your area that my be okay with letting you go further?

Jessica Siczkowycz

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#10 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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I was under the impression that in some states with licensend and regulated Midwives they had to discontinue services at 42 weeks due to liablity issues.

You can do it. Have the student assistant act as your doula. It sounds like it will all work out great. I can understand that it feels like after these 9 months you are being abandoned because of some arbitrary date but she likely has no choice.

Aria - 4 years, Miles - 2 years and Liviana - 1 year with a big surprise due in January 2010.
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#11 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My midwife was never acting as a legal midwife w/me b/c I'm a VBAC in AZ!!!! So legalites were already thrown out the window with us! It's b/c she's not comfy about it!
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#12 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 09:04 PM
 
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I was under the impression that in some states with licensend and regulated Midwives they had to discontinue services at 42 weeks due to liablity issues.
In that case, it should be discussed well before 41 weeks. I'm well aware that my MW cannot attend my birth if I go past 42 weeks (I'm not due until November). I also know that if it were an issue, we would be re-evaluating the due date and verifying that it is as accurate as possible. LMP is *not* incredibly accurate for determining dates.

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#13 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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Sending you lots of labor vibes! And this is a little ot but seriously, talk to your little one and ask him.her to come out into this beautiful world of ours. FOr my dd#2 I was "late". My Mom was flying in that day and she was NOT NOT NOT supportive of my choice to home/waterbirth. I woke up that morning at 3am with contractions. I gave birth as my Mom was getting on the plane to come out! I talked to Devin the night before and stroked my belly telling her how I longer to meet her and how having Grandma there was simply NOT an option. SHe must have thought about it for a few hours and decided to come on out! Good luck and where are you in AZ? I am in Phoenix so pm me if you need support, food, whatever...
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#14 of 289 Old 09-28-2007, 09:36 PM
 
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would you and your MW be comfortable with a compromise? what about getting non-stress tests and/or biophysical profiles every couple of days? she could even do a non-stress test with her doppler.

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#15 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 11:36 AM
 
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would you and your MW be comfortable with a compromise? what about getting non-stress tests and/or biophysical profiles every couple of days? she could even do a non-stress test with her doppler.
This is what I was thinking.

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#16 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 12:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#17 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 03:59 PM
 
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Labor Vibes... How are you doing?
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#18 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 04:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mimiharshe View Post
Thanks Stephanie! I have been talking to the babe. Telling him/her I am ready to meet her. That he/she will be coming to mommy and daddy who will love him/her very much, etc. Maybe I need to have a serious talk!

As for the NST...my midwife did one w/her doppler the other night and said the baby sounded PERFECT! I can't just go anywhere and get a bio profile b/c of my situation. The midwife had made up her mind...didn't tell anyone until that night and gave 2 days notice. Period! I asked about a refund and she is giving me a partial.
that may fall under pt abandonment if she really didnt say anything about a 42 wk deadline before. unless she is transferring you to her backup ob.

eta in fl we are not legally allowed to attend women past 42 weeks unless we get an OB to sign off.

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#19 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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that may fall under pt abandonment if she really didnt say anything about a 42 wk deadline before. unless she is transferring you to her backup ob.

eta in fl we are not legally allowed to attend women past 42 weeks unless we get an OB to sign off.
ladybugchild...still here...no labor yet!:
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#20 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 05:03 PM
 
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Oh January! My heart sank when I saw this was your post.

Have you tried contacting any other MWs? It is illegal in AZ for them to assist a VBAC, but I don't get why she's dropping you after going out on a limb to begin with? That really is a huge bummer.


Is there anything you need? Anything moving along?
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#21 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh January! My heart sank when I saw this was your post.

Have you tried contacting any other MWs? It is illegal in AZ for them to assist a VBAC, but I don't get why she's dropping you after going out on a limb to begin with? That really is a huge bummer.


Is there anything you need? Anything moving along?
!
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#22 of 289 Old 09-29-2007, 10:39 PM
 
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ooooh I hope so! I am rooting for you big time!
Many manyprayers coming your way and when your done with those labor vibes, send them my way
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#23 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 01:36 AM
 
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Mimiharshe!! You have been on my mind since I read your post an hour or so ago, and I had to get back on hte computer to write to you. My heart goes out to you and I hope at this very moment that your body and baby have synched up to do the deed.

I know how it feels to be at odds with the medical establishment. DS was breech until very late (37 or 38wks), and breech at onset of labor is an automatic c-section in washington where I live. Scared the bee-jeezus out of me. I did everything I could to work around the system, and luckily I was able to get him to turn using yoga so I didn't have to resort to subversion.

I am worried about you, though! Even though I don't know you and it's none of my business (funny thing about this community! It inspires one to reach out!! ) I felt that someone on this board should issue the word of caution.

No one wants an unnecessary c-section if they can prevent it. And you are the best judge of how you and the baby are fairing, I agree. But be cautious that what you are doing _is_ risky and beware the you may want a homebirth so bad that it may cloud your judgement about what is safe for you and the baby and what isn't. There are cases where c-sections are necessary- where they really save lives, not just liability. And it sounds to me like you may be walking that line. I urge you to be viligiant to signs of hazard and not do a homebirth at all costs. If you feel there is anything not right, please remember that allopathic medicine is good at crisis medicine and should be used in those events.

I hope I didn't rain on your parade. It just struck me that it's easy to root for someone who is bucking the system. But it's easy for us to do that when we don't have any responsability. We would never know if something went awry. Please do let us know how your'e doing. You're going to be on my mind, I know.

I am sending labor vibes your way.
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#24 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 02:00 AM
 
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My mw (in phx also) gave me a deadline :

Baby came by it, actually. 43.5w by lmp, 42w by ultrasound done at 20w.

DP and I had talked about a UC since we were so "late".

I actually had an u/s the day I went into labor, the day before dd's bday, to quell the fears of those around, even our mw. Our apprentice mw was cool and calm and trusting of my feelings.

My placenta (looked great on last u/s) was FOUR pounds. Largest and healthiest my mw's had ever seen. Duh, I said. I knew that

Your baby will come, and it will be beautiful, peaceful and wonderful. You're in my thoughts mama.
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#25 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 02:11 AM
 
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"beautiful, peaceful, wonderful"! : )
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#26 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 03:22 AM
 
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Not normally a poster here, but wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts as I'm in a *kind of* similar situation. I am 37w5d with my second, and this is my 1st homebirth. We just finished paying for our midwife, and at the end of the appt, she "dropped" the fact that 2 days past my due date, she's going on vacation. For a week. She "insisted" I would have him by then, but come on????!!!! No one short of God can accurately date a birth.

Once the shock cleared, I phoned her and asked about alternate midwives since she'd insisted that "I'd have a midwife...it just might not be her." I had told my husband earlier in the day that I would come to peace with the situation on one premise....a particular midwife she sometimes does back-up work for had to be the one. Well, she listed a couple of names, one being the one I'd insisted on. I'm still waiting to hear back from the 2nd midwife, but I feel a sense of peace. At first I was angry about the whole scenario (what was she thinking?!?!?!) and felt so let down and betrayed. But then it occured to me. In some ways, I haven't totally felt comfortable/gelled with this midwife, and neither has my husband. There are things that just don't mesh and have come between us. It occured to me that maybe the plan for my birth is actually different than I'd expected, and I'm intended to have this second midwife. Maybe the plan for my future was to meet this woman....who knows?!?!? I guess only time will tell.

I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. It's so hard to see the purpose of things when you're going through it, but there's always a reason. My mom keeps telling me, "God has a plan for you." Only time will tell what that plan is, but I'm trying to reach an inner peace about things that have become out of my control.

Wishing you happy labor vibes.....

 

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#27 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 10:27 AM
 
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i have been thinking about yoiu since I read your post.

How are you?

Chandi

: :Mama to 4 girls and Michael is here 9/11/09 We love :::
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#28 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 03:25 PM
 
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Thinking of you, Mama. How are you?
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#29 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 04:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#30 of 289 Old 09-30-2007, 07:22 PM
 
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wishing you a peaceful, beautiful birth. i'm sure i'm not alone when i say i can not wait to read your birth story!
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