Do I homebirth or go to Birth Center? - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-07-2008, 09:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, just so you know, I am all aboard with homebirth. However... we have very few hb midwives in the area, not to mention funky laws which make it a beeyatch to obtain. I KNOW it can be worth the hassle to hb, but I am not sure I want to go through that. I know I should so I can be an ex. to other women who seek it, but argh. The birth center just has it all set up already(backup docs, etc). Plus, I've met the birth center midwives a few times already and we get along GREAT (it is a free standing bc). I've only met the hb midwife once, and although we do get along, she is in another town around an hour away (I know that isn't too far).

I know y'all can't make decisions for me, I should do it myself, but if anyone else has been in this situation before please tell me about it. Honestly, I think I'd be happy either place we'd have our baby, but man, my first birth was so stressful in trying to decide where to have him (bc vs. hosp) and I'm not sure I want to go through that planning again in trying to obtain a hb which honestly isn't guaranteed right now (and sorry, we don't want to UC!). Plus, a HUGE thing for me is just to get a good "vibe" from the mw. I definitely got that from the birth center, and not that I didn't get it with the out of town/hb mw, but I think it may be harder to get to know her better in the three mo. that I have left in the pregnancy.

Ideas?

Jenny, mother of two boys; 7-25-06 and 7-27-08. Loving wife to Cole. I love birth! :
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Old 04-07-2008, 09:53 PM
 
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Well, I absolutely LOVE being at home because I don't have to get up and go anywhere, put my new babe in a car seat or anything else of the sort that a woman has to do when leaving the house. Oh yes, pack a bag for me, the baby, yada yada yada.

I also love using my own bathroom in the moments you need one during labor. Laying in my own bed to rest between contractions during the night is priceless, oh how I love my pillow. Having unlimited access to any of the clothes you own to put on when you want to...I could probably go on but I think you get the point.

But like you said it's really your choice and you have to go with your heart. HB isn't for everyone...do what feels good and do what you don't have any doubts about.
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:00 PM
 
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Seems to me like you already made the decision for the birth center.

Go where you feel comfortable, and forget the rest!

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:33 PM
 
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I am in that place right now! I like the idea of homebirth too, but I don't want to have to go through the hassle of setting everything up myself. The idea of going somewhere where it's all set up and all I have to do is show up is really appealing. I just can't quite picture myself at home, but we'll see...it's 7 months away!
Good luck, and sorry I can't help. I just wanted to say I feel the same way!

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Old 04-07-2008, 10:44 PM
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Do what you want and don't worry about being an "example." Good births happen all over the place. You will have the best experience where you feel safest, and if that's the birth center - go for it.

FWIW I had a home birth in December with absolutely no "setup." I didn't use my bed at all - my husband and older child slept in it all night while I labored in another part of the house. Then, my baby was born on the bathroom floor. Really all I did was buy my midwife's birth kit online and make sure my house was really clean (a personal thing of mine - no baby in a messy house!) and that was the entirety of the prep. The midwife and her asst. cleaned up the mess.
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:41 PM
 
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Well, in my state, the rules and regs for a birth center are much more than for homebirth. Which is why I chose home.

But then when my LMs had reached the point where they had to check with someone (an action they flat out told me they would NOT do, that they COULD not do, that would go against their license to do, when I hired them and asked if they had to talk to OBs about things), and that someone ended up being the OB who owned the birth center I had thought about using. Since that OB didn't know me, she urged actions on me, though I didn't know those actions came from her until later, and didn't know it was that exact OB until I got my records from the LMs.

So even though I chose homebirth, I was regulated by that birth center OB.

So...I guess...whichever you want. Just know the laws, make sure you know who is making decisions, and be strong(er than I was)!
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Old 04-08-2008, 01:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Birdie B. View Post
I like the idea of homebirth too, but I don't want to have to go through the hassle of setting everything up myself. way!
I have 2 homebirths and several friends who have also had HB and none of us have ever had to clean anything up. I do make sure my house is clean...I usually do some type of cleaning everday for the last 1-2 weeks but I also express to my husband some things that are really important to me (like decluttered countertops) and he takes care of that stuff.

My friend that just had a baby in March was telling me her story and included that the mw did her dishes before she left Hey! Give me a mw!
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Old 04-08-2008, 02:38 AM
 
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No need to set an example for anyone - do what you feel works best for you and your family.
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Old 04-08-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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I've had a great freestanding birth center birth and a great homebirth, and honestly... they're both terrific for different reasons, but they're also not so different. I'd say it sounds like you're psyched up for the birth center so go with it! You don't need anyone's permission to birth how you want to!

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
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Old 04-09-2008, 01:40 AM
 
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Sounds to me like you would prefer the BC. I think I would probably go to a BC if there was one closer than 2 hours from me.
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Old 04-09-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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I guess I'm lucky in that my midwives do either birth center or homebirth. I'm officially having a homebirth but if I change my mind at the last minute, I can go to the birth center.

I had my 3rd at the birth center and my 4th at home. I loved being at home, especially since I had 2 other kids to be keeping happy (actually they were asleep anyway, so it worked out better). At the birth center, they got bored quickly and wanted to go home. I had an insanely fast birth last time and it almost ended up being a UC, so I'm planning on one just in case. However, I hated my tub for the last baby. I wanted to stay in the water but I was just too cramped and got out. So its possible that if my labor is longer this time, I'll go to the birth center to hang out in the jacuzzi tub! I'm also only about 10 minutes from the birth center so I can do whatever.

You seem to be leaning towards the birth center though. Are they LMs or CNMs? It may not make a difference, but when I used CNMs my whole pregnancy and birth ended up being very medicalized. I hated that. I love that my LMs are so hands off and let stuff take its course.

Go with what your gut tells you, you can always change your mind later.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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Old 04-09-2008, 07:49 PM
 
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I gave birth to my first child by birth at a FSBC. I had researched HB but didn't feel quite comfortable doing it yet. If we have any more children by birth, I am pretty sure they will be born at home. Not sure about UC, but I definitely would not want to leave home during labor.

DS - 5! - adopted at birth after infertility, IUI, and IVF; DD - 4! - surprise pregnancy discovered when DS was 8 months old ; Hoping for another soon (actively TTC ~ 2 years)
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Old 04-09-2008, 09:27 PM
 
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My two cents is that, if it's a freestanding birth center, then they won't have anything there that a trained midwife wouldn't bring to your home in terms of resuscitating equipment and other technology. So if that's the case, the next question is which midwife do you feel is most qualified and in sync with you and your wishes? If they're about equal, I'd go for the homebirth. If you like the ones at the birth center better, then go there -- etc., Which is all just to say that, I think the place is important, but, the overall environment and how safe and well cared for you feel is, in my opinion, most key. Good luck.
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Old 04-10-2008, 02:45 PM
 
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i've had one birth in each location - #1 was born in a FCBS, #2 was born at home. i'm planning on another homebirth this time.

all other things being equal, i think home is a much more relaxed way to go. a birth center has a nice ambience, but it's not the same as being in your familiar surroundings. kinda like giving birth in someone else's house keep in mind that most FCBS's want you out the door headed home within 6-8 hours after the birth. We were exhausted because DD was born late at night, and didn't really feel like we could relax until we got home because we felt like we were on the clock the whole time. we also had to go back in a few days later for my post partum visit. at home, you're not on the clock and you have nowhere to go. the m/w comes to see you post partum. and, yeah, cleans up the mess after the birth!

also, depending on the birth center and who their supervising OB is, they might have much more strict rules. like, you're only allowed to have rupture of membranes for 'x' hours without at least 'x' dilation before the require transfer to the hospital. that actually happened to me - it was kind of stressful because the m/w reminded me several times before she checked me that i needed to be 'x' centimeters within 'x' period of time or we'd be going to the hospital for pitocin. i wound up progressing just fine and i got to birth in the center, but it was annoying to have that looming over my head. most homebirth m/w's don't have those kinds of strict rules, they are more free to make decisions on a case by case basis because they don't have anyone they need to report to.

but... in my first sentence i said all other things being equal. if you like the m/w's at the birth center better (or feel at least that you know them better and that makes you feel more relaxed and comfortable) then go with the birth center! as the pp said, it's most important to birth where you feel safe, secure and in good hands. if that's going to be the birth center for you, then that's where you should be!
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Old 04-11-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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I am in that place right now! I like the idea of homebirth too, but I don't want to have to go through the hassle of setting everything up myself. The idea of going somewhere where it's all set up and all I have to do is show up is really appealing. I just can't quite picture myself at home, but we'll see...it's 7 months away!
Weeell, you may feel differently when your dh is trying to shoo you into a car while your in labor. You could not have paid me any amount to sit anywhere but a toilet when I was in labor.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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Old 04-14-2008, 11:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys Anyway, an HB is really what I wanted, but for some odd reason I'm not comfortable with it at this point in my life, even though I know it is totally safe and the same as being at a BC. WHY am I feeling this way? I swore after my firstwas born I would DEFINITELY have my next at home, and now it isn't happening. But I get this feeling in my gut that I should be somewhere else. Why, why, why? It doesn't mean I'll be any "safer" at all. Maybe it is that I feel more comfortable with the bc midwives (there are only two, and are CPMs, one a nurse but not a CNM).

Jenny, mother of two boys; 7-25-06 and 7-27-08. Loving wife to Cole. I love birth! :
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Old 04-14-2008, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys Anyway, an HB is really what I wanted, but for some odd reason I'm not comfortable with it at this point in my life, even though I know it is totally safe and the same as being at a BC. WHY am I feeling this way? I swore after my firstwas born I would DEFINITELY have my next at home, and now it isn't happening. But I get this feeling in my gut that I should be somewhere else. Why, why, why? It doesn't mean I'll be any "safer" at all. Maybe it is that I feel more comfortable with the bc midwives (there are only two, and are CPMs, one a nurse but not a CNM).

Jenny, mother of two boys; 7-25-06 and 7-27-08. Loving wife to Cole. I love birth! :
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Old 04-15-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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In general, I think if you're going to go to a FS birthcenter, you might just as well stay home. I hated our drive to the hospital with ds1. It's so much nicer not to have to go anywhere. But, I know it's also important to have someone you really connect with.

I do have fast births, so a mw an hour away would be a concern for me. I might still go for the mw, and just expect that it might be a UC with the mw on the phone and on her way. My mw lives about 25 minutes from us, and she still ended up walking in just after ds2's head was born. So, I don't know that getting to a nearby birthcenter would've been a good option, either!

So, I think I would still stick with the hb, but it's really a very personal decision.

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Old 04-15-2008, 12:19 PM
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birth choices are just that--choices.

I think that by saying "i really don't want to go through the hassle" you're saying what you do want to do--which is to go with the BC.

and there's nothing wrong with that.
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Old 04-15-2008, 06:02 PM
 
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Do whatever you feel is best for you and your baby.

For me, I wouldn't consider a birth center. I can't imagine getting in the car and driving to a birth center in labor, or putting my hours old baby in a carseat for the drive home, you know? I just wouldn't want to leave my house if I didn't have to.
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