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#1 of 32 Old 04-30-2008, 02:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my first baby and I am scheduled for a home birth in June with a certified nurse midwife. I live 15 minutes from the nearest hospital. I made the decision to home birth with much research, very early in my pregnancy. Now that my due date is coming up, I am feeling nervous about something possibly going wrong. I know the chances are low of the baby needing recussitation, or having a cord problem or of me hemorhaging, but that slight chance of something going wrong and not being able to make it to the hospital in time scares me. It never scared me before and Im not sure if its just hormones or what?

My husband and family are set on a home birth. They love the idea of it. I also had my heart set on a home birth. I just dont think I would be able to face it if something were to happen to my son that being at the hospital could have prevented. My midwife is, in my opinion, excellent and has done many home births.

Please tell me, am I worrying too much? Am I being too "careful"?

Has anyone had any emergency during a home birth that they can tell me about? I want this so badly, but if I continue to stress about it, I will have to have a hospital birth.

Please give any advice that you can.

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#2 of 32 Old 04-30-2008, 03:18 PM
 
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Big hugs mama You are very lucky to have so much support for your hb!!! I think it's natural to worry, especially with your first, but honestly you don't have anything to tangibly worry about. There are more risks added into a hospital birth, and you're more likely to end up with a c-section. I'm having an HBA2C and yes there's a possibility of transfer, but I don't dwell on it. I just immerse myself in positivity. Maybe some affirmations would help you? Your first baby is such a wonderful time, but can be intimidating. Don't let any of the what ifs bog you down. You CAN do this, your body was made for it!!! Read through some of the birth stories, and look online for positive HB stories, even some with transfers; I'm sure it will help tremendously. And if you trust in your mw & her experience, then you will be in good hands

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#3 of 32 Old 04-30-2008, 03:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BonnieNova View Post
This is my first baby and I am scheduled for a home birth in June with a certified nurse midwife. I live 15 minutes from the nearest hospital. I made the decision to home birth with much research, very early in my pregnancy. Now that my due date is coming up, I am feeling nervous about something possibly going wrong. I know the chances are low of the baby needing recussitation, or having a cord problem or of me hemorhaging, but that slight chance of something going wrong and not being able to make it to the hospital in time scares me. It never scared me before and Im not sure if its just hormones or what?
It might help to remember that you midwife will (almost certainly) have the drugs and equipment needed to take care of any minor emergency or to stabilize you while you get to the hospital if a major emergency occurs. It is very rare (though, of course, possible) to have an emergency where you don't have enough time to get to the hospital. And in the hospital, those kinds of emergencies are still often touch and go.

I think you should bring up your concerns with your midwife. She will be the one who can best have an open discussion with you about what situations she can handle at home, what you might need to transfer for, etc. I felt very calm about my homebirth for most of my pregnancy, but I think it's natural to start worrying as the time approaches, especially in our culture where we learn from the cradle that birth is an emergency. It is not easy to shed those enculturated beliefs, even when we know the opposite to be true intellectually!

My homebirth wasn't an emergency, but it probably would've been if I'd been in the hospital. I had pushing contractions for about 6 hours, and had to avoid pushing during part of that time since I had a cervical lip (part of my cervix had gotten swollen and wouldn't allow my son's head to pass through). It was HARD not to push, but we managed. I suspect that if I had been in a hospital, I would've ended up with a csection since I ended up pushing for so long. "CPD" or failure to progress or whatever. But in the end we progressed just fine.
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#4 of 32 Old 04-30-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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Studies show that you are at least as safe at home, and your risk of interventions such as c-section are a lot lower. There are risks to a hospital birth that you are avoiding by birthing at home.
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#5 of 32 Old 04-30-2008, 05:42 PM
 
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Have you talked to your midwife about your concerns? I would talk to her and ask her about some of those scenarios you're worried about... it may calm you to hear about what experiences she has with emergency situations. I remember my midwife telling me that in almost all cases, she knows a woman needs to transfer far before the situation is an *emergency*. I think talking to your midwife will help!

I felt this sort of panic when I was due, too. I had resolved to talk about all of the "what ifs" at my next check-up... then I went into labor before it happened!

Like a PP, I did not have any emergencies... but I think I would have in a hospital. I had a cervical lip that my midwife moved out of the way... a friend with a similar thing in a hospital ended up with a c-section.

Good luck!!!
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#6 of 32 Old 05-01-2008, 12:14 AM
 
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:

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#7 of 32 Old 05-01-2008, 10:43 AM
 
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Being your first baby, of course you have every right to worry and be concerned; you dont know what to expect and its all new. First thing, I agree, talk w/ your midwife about it, share your concerns and fears w/ her. Trust that she will know when to make the call to get you to a hospital if you need. Most good midwives will bolt to the hospital if they feel they really need to; they are there to ensure you get the care you and your baby need, and will be the ready to transport you when they feel its necessary. I think you need to feel safe in your choice to birth at home. I agree, you are keeping yourself out of alot of practices that you dont want by staying home. Which in my mind, is much safer. I have had 2 homebirths, I dont even know what a hospital birth looks like, though I have heard many stories. I beleive home is the safest. I also had midwives that monitored me well and did thier best to keep me out of the hospital; even giving me herbs during pregnancy to keep my blood pressure down. The only intervention I needed was w/ my 2nd birth, after baby and placenta were delivered she thought I was still bleeding too much, so she gave me herbs, waited 5 mins. then gave me pitocin; a shot in the leg. That was it.
I wish you a happy birth and I hope you can find the support and encouragment you need when you talk w/ your midwives.

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#8 of 32 Old 05-01-2008, 12:31 PM
 
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It is wonderful that your family is so supportive of your choice to birth at home! I also had my first at home last year, and it was a wonderful experience. As others have mentioned, you are at a much lower risk of unnecessary and dangerous interventions when giving birth at home, so in that sense, it really is the safest and best thing you can do for yourself and your baby. Your midwife has probably encountered and dealt with almost any situation that is likely to come up during your birth, so try to relax and have confidence in your body, your baby, and in her experience if any help is needed.

I did have pretty heavy bleeding after giving birth to my daughter, and my midwife did end up giving me a shot of pitocin in the leg, after the placenta had been expelled and the bleeding still had not slowed. I also had my daughter nursing the whole time, which helped stop the bleeding, as well. In the hospital this might have been handled very differently, with me hooked up to an IV and my daughter not allowed to be with me.

I understand that it can be stressful thinking about what could go wrong at home, but having had a homebirth, a hospital birth sounds potentially much more stressful to me. You would likely have to contend with numerous people who did not respect or agree with your choices regarding your birth and the care of your baby, and that is not something I would want to have to think about or deal with while I am trying to give birth!
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#9 of 32 Old 05-01-2008, 03:09 PM
 
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Hi,

I'm preggo w/ #1 also, & i'm sure I'll be feeling just like you are when the date gets closer, but if your asking yourself "how would I cope with loosing a baby at home that could have been saved at a hospital" I think you also need to ask yourself "how would I cope with loosing a baby at a hospital that could have been saved by birthing at home."

How would you live with yourself if you went to the hospital because you were just so worried about something going wrong & then the baby died of a staff infection? or a medical issue caused by an epi, or pit, or some other medical intervention? or a medication error?

I think either way there is a chance you and/or the baby could die. Thats why having a baby is a selfless & brave thing to do.
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#10 of 32 Old 05-01-2008, 05:44 PM
 
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I agree with the other poster ~ talk with your midwife about your fears. You are going to do great honey!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry to put this on your thread, but I'm really confused. I'm new to motheringdotcommune and I want to post and ask a question about finding a homebirth midwife in Charlottesville, Va, but I can't figure out how to start a thread. Somebody please help me.
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#11 of 32 Old 05-01-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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I would try to discern whether you were worrying, or if you were feeling a real fear. From what I read, it sounds like you are having very normal worries, which are not based on intuition.

But if there is something in your intuition that is telling you somethings amiss, you will want to explore that.

I fully support home births and had one myself. And one great thing about getting in touch with yourself to prepare for a home birth is being able to understand your intuition. Again, I don't see anything in your post that at all suggests to me that your intuition is speaking up here, but I'm not you and I don't know. I just prefer for all women to be in touch with themselves and make good decisions, rather than just buying a black and white philosophy (i.e. home birth is ALWAYS better for ALL women EVERY time - which is about the same as saying the same for hospital births).

I wanted my post to be supportive, not scary, I just didn't want to just pat you and say it'll all turn out JUST FINE. It almost certainly will indeed turn out great. But I learned that we women need to be responsible for our births, regardless of where we choose to do it, and not just blindly follow others telling you how things will turn out (they don't know) or what's best for you.

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Originally Posted by Rochelle Marie View Post
I'm sorry to put this on your thread, but I'm really confused. I'm new to motheringdotcommune and I want to post and ask a question about finding a homebirth midwife in Charlottesville, Va, but I can't figure out how to start a thread. Somebody please help me.
I'd go to the Finding Your Tribe section for Virginia:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=79

Then click the "New Thread" button near the top (under the top banner).

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#12 of 32 Old 05-01-2008, 06:57 PM
 
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Good point, indeed, laohaire!

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#13 of 32 Old 05-02-2008, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, laohare - you are right. It's definitely just normal fears and not intuition. I know my intuition very well and right now I have a great feeling about my homebirth. I just have a feeling everything is going to go well, and I trust my midwife implicitly.

I guess the fears are coming because I am the type that likes to research both sides of an issue and take into account the fact that it is possible that something could go wrong. -And as one poster said, I should probably have taken into account how I would feel if something had gone wrong in the hospital as well.

I have my midwife appt tonight and I plan on asking her a whole bunch of questions - I just hope she doesnt feel bombarded!

I really appreciate all the posts - you are a bunch of great people with a wealth of information ... I will let you all know how the appointment goes...

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#14 of 32 Old 05-02-2008, 06:40 PM
 
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You have hired a midwife. You are in good hands. Now relax and have a great birth! If you need to transfer to the hospital, your midwife will be able to make that call and care for you during that transition.

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#15 of 32 Old 05-02-2008, 10:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, you are right. I do feel I am in good hands. My mw appointment went ok, but I dont think she was ready to answer my questions thoroughly. I think she was a little rushed tonight - it was a night appointment and she prob wanted to get home. She did however make my husband feel very comfortable, he appreciated all her answers and feels even better now about the homebirth. I feel good as well, but I was expecting more of a "realistic" outlook and talk about complications and plans in the event of an emergency. Maybe its just me - heres how the conversation went (word for word):

- I heard about hemorahaging (sp?), do you carry any pitocin to help with that? "yes and I also carry another drug". (ok answer, i thought - could have been more detailed).

- I heard that a cord could be prolapsed or the baby might have apnea... "I have only had that problem once in 250 births". (no mention of a plan )

- If there is a problem, will you be able to spot it before it gets serious? "Thats why I like to get to the home during early labor, so I can monitor the heartbeat." (no mention of how soon she could tell there is a problem)

- Why do most of your patients transfer? "Most of the time because of prolonged labor and fatigue. Its rare for an emergency transfer to happen." (good answer, i thought).

Maybe I am making this more complicated than it is? I am definitely now set on a home birth, after talking to you all.. but I felt like you all had a more realistic point of view on this. I expected her to say somethign like "well if ______ goes wrong, we will do _________."

Nonetheless, she is a very experienced midwife who has hardly ever had complications.. so she must be good. And besides that, I have heard a few good birth stories involving her.

What do you all think? Am I being TOO careful by wanting better answers?

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#16 of 32 Old 05-02-2008, 10:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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PS vegan - do you know of anywhere I could donate milk?

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#17 of 32 Old 05-02-2008, 10:42 PM
 
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Maybe it is not homebirth but your midwife. It sounds like you are not hearing from her the answers you want from her. There are a number of options for you in NY so you might try interviewing another MW to see if you feel a better connection with someone else.

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#18 of 32 Old 05-02-2008, 11:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BonnieNova View Post
- I heard about hemorahaging (sp?), do you carry any pitocin to help with that? "yes and I also carry another drug". (ok answer, i thought - could have been more detailed).

- I heard that a cord could be prolapsed or the baby might have apnea... "I have only had that problem once in 250 births". (no mention of a plan )

- If there is a problem, will you be able to spot it before it gets serious? "Thats why I like to get to the home during early labor, so I can monitor the heartbeat." (no mention of how soon she could tell there is a problem)

- Why do most of your patients transfer? "Most of the time because of prolonged labor and fatigue. Its rare for an emergency transfer to happen." (good answer, i thought).
I personally think these are fine answers to your questions although I would have asked what the other drug was...maybe she was drawing a blank at that moment.

As far as a plan, I believe that experienced midwives do have a general plan in their head of what to do in case of complications but I think they don't like to generalize the situations and they treat each one differently, according to the needs of the mother and baby. When the time comes they see the problem and then make a decision based on the symptoms rather than the problem.

Does that make sense?
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#19 of 32 Old 05-02-2008, 11:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BonnieNova View Post
- I heard about hemorahaging (sp?), do you carry any pitocin to help with that? "yes and I also carry another drug". (ok answer, i thought - could have been more detailed).

- I heard that a cord could be prolapsed or the baby might have apnea... "I have only had that problem once in 250 births". (no mention of a plan )

- If there is a problem, will you be able to spot it before it gets serious? "Thats why I like to get to the home during early labor, so I can monitor the heartbeat." (no mention of how soon she could tell there is a problem)

- Why do most of your patients transfer? "Most of the time because of prolonged labor and fatigue. Its rare for an emergency transfer to happen." (good answer, i thought).

Maybe I am making this more complicated than it is? I am definitely now set on a home birth, after talking to you all.. but I felt like you all had a more realistic point of view on this. I expected her to say somethign like "well if ______ goes wrong, we will do _________."


What do you all think? Am I being TOO careful by wanting better answers?
I think she answered the questions you asked quite well. If you would like or feel more comfortable with answers like:
"well if ______ goes wrong, we will do _________."

then, IMO the questions should sound more like- what will we do if ____ goes wrong?

-Angela
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#20 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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considering that 95% of homebirths are perfect and very few end up natural and perfect in a hospital...........I think the odd are in favor of a homebirth.
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#21 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes Alegna I think you are right... my husband said the same thing. He said maybe I should have asked her differently. I guess I didnt want to feel like I was bombarding her... I prob should ask again at our next appt.

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#22 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 02:13 AM
 
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I'm on pregnancy number two, and am planning on having a home birth with this one just like I did with my son... I think the fears that you are having are completely normal, even after having my son at home, I still have some fears similar to yours this time around. I just finished (like less than an hour ago) a WONDERFUL documentary that I think will really help you... or at least put some positive thoughts in your head. I don't know if you have the time, but it's so worth watching, and I think you will feel so glad that you've made the decision to have a midwife and a home birth. Okay, so go to the due date club and to July 2008... in there is a thread called "The Business of Birth" In there is a link that will take you to the documentary and you can watch it in full right in the comfort of your computer chair. I hope you have the time to watch it, it's really amazing!

Whether you have the time or not to watch the documentary, I think you should definitely voice your worries to your midwife. I'm a 100% believer in home birthing and midwives... but only for people who are comfortable with it themselves. Going into it with a scared attitude could manifest things that could make it a lot more difficult for you. Talk to you midwife, I'm sure that she will totally put your mind at ease. I know that my midwife has all of the necessary equipment at her side when she is delivering a baby to take care of the problems that you named off. I know that if your midwife is anything like mine, she would want to know that you are having these concerns, she doesn't want anyone to be scared. Good luck... you're going to do fine no matter what!
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#23 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 02:59 AM
 
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I'm glad you got a chance to ask some questions at your appointment. Your midwife is working for you, and as your date gets closer, I'm sure you will have more questions. I would suggest that you tell her you want a written plan regarding what will happen in the event of an emergency (or non-emergency) transfer. It will make you feel better to know a plan is in place - it may even be legally required if you live in a state that licenses midwives.
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#24 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 09:51 AM
 
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PS vegan - do you know of anywhere I could donate milk?
If you have an oversupply, definitely join the Yahoo MilkShare group. I have donated to 2 adopted babies that way.


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#25 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 10:53 AM
 
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considering that 95% of homebirths are perfect
[citation needed]
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#26 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Logies mom! Do you mean the documentary called "the business of being born?" If thats the one, I think I can get it on netflix - i will take a look at it tonight!

Vegan- I dont have an oversupply just yet, but Im planning on breastfeeding and I feel so strongly about breastmilk for babies, that I would love to pump extra and then donate my milk. I am very healthy, and have a great diet so I think it would be nice to be able to donate.

And yes... a citation would be nice on the 95% thing!

My m/w is coming to my house next week for my appt - she will look around and tell me where to put the tub, what to have on hand and so on.. I will take that opportunity to ask her about an emergency plan.

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#27 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 04:10 PM
 
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[citation needed]
Read some books. They all say the same thing.
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#28 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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I've read many books, thank you. Never have I read that "95% of home births are perfect". I'm certainly aware of the research - I have an entire web page devoted to it. But I don't think we do anyone any good by making statements like this. It's this kind of rhetoric that gives home birth advocates a bad reputation.
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#29 of 32 Old 05-03-2008, 11:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BrooklynDoula View Post
Maybe it is not homebirth but your midwife. It sounds like you are not hearing from her the answers you want from her. There are a number of options for you in NY so you might try interviewing another MW to see if you feel a better connection with someone else.
I agree, I wouldn't have been satisfied with those answers as well. And just because other people are satisfied with them doesn't mean you have to be. Personally, my health care providers that I have chosen and stayed with are always ones that detail to me and share with me what they are going to do. I am a lawyer -- and I do the same with my clients. I think it is important. It doesn't mean she is a bad midwife at all, but there are different personalities and if you have other options -- I would explore them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieNova View Post
Yes Alegna I think you are right... my husband said the same thing. He said maybe I should have asked her differently. I guess I didnt want to feel like I was bombarding her... I prob should ask again at our next appt.
You have every right to bombard her, you are paying her for a service. But you also shouldn't have to drag answers out of her. Just go prepared with follow-up questions and don't be afraid to ask.
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#30 of 32 Old 05-04-2008, 03:37 AM
 
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I'm sure you've already figured it out now, but yes, it is "The Business of Being Born" that I was talking about... I can't believe I didn't give you the name of it... wow, I think pregnancy-brain is setting in! Whoops! I hope that you found it and enjoyed it as much as I did!!!
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