Ok - I havent' read all of the responses but I've simply GOT to chime in.
I've been on both sides of the passive aggressive fence and yes - I see that happening here as well. BUT... The thing that stands out to me here is this:
|I told him about it 2 months ago
Bold mine. TOLD? you TOLD him? Did you attempt to discuss or did you lay it down like "I've decided I'm having the baby at home"?
That can be the difference. I'm not advocating his actions by any means BUT if you took that approach with me it would make me have that adamant of a stance as well.
I agree that ther are far more issues her ethan are beign discussed but my gut says that BOTH of you have contributed to them. I'm not sayign this to slam anyone but the bottom line is this: NO relationship gets bad enough that Divorce is looming because of ONE person in it. It takes both
partners to get to that point. I say that as a woman that has BTDT and now lives with the husband that divorced me not even 2 months ago. We BOTH had some major issues to work on. Granted we were lucky in that we both actually got through them - but not until the papers were already on the judges desk beign signed.
The key is that it's something that you both need to deal with - the ROOT of the problem - not the threat over homebirth. You know that this IS NOT over birthing at home. What you need to do is REALLY find out what it is about. Flat out ask him why he REALLY wants a divorce. Dont' beat aroudn the bush over it just blurt it out. Sounds like that is all he does anyhow.
I hav eto say that my perspective of this situation comes from my own experience. Your posts sound exactly lik e many of my own journal entires, posts etc have in other places about my own husband. MY way is the only way. it's all in your approach. If you are coming off the least bit belligerant about your view than OF COURSE he is not goign to be open to your ideas, reasons and views. Much like you insist that he doesnt' communicate - he may not but it's up to you to at least make the attempt at EFFECTIVE communication and by that I mean speakign in a manner that he will hear not in a manner that he will go into auto shut down. I say this because as I said I've BTDT - got hte divorce papers to prove it.