selling our house ~ silly question - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-24-2008, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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we are moving in two weeks and i am leaving a list of info for the new owners... (septic info, generator info, etc..)

would you tell the new owners of your house that your baby was born there?

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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Old 10-24-2008, 12:32 PM
 
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Only if I got to know them some and felt they'd think it was cool.
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Old 10-24-2008, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i only met them once briefly when they came to see the house with their parents. they are recently married and just bought our big 5 bedroom house so they can start a family.

i will not see them again most likely, we'll be gone when they move in.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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Old 10-24-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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I wouldn't unless it was asked specifically. I think you have to tell of deaths, but births are a totally different story
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Old 10-24-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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definately not, unless it was someone I KNEW would appreciate it. not that it's wrong to tell or anything, but with the wrong person that could even be a turn off instead of a turn on... (hey, people are weird sometimes!) of course I would think it was AWESOME.... but that's me

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Old 10-24-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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I'd probably casually mention it, like "It is kinda hard to leave this place since XX was bon right *there* (pointing)" and leave it at that. But if you aren't going to see them in person, it may be odd to write it out for them, unless you have a great bathtub where she was born.

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Old 10-24-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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I think you have to tell of deaths,
Really??? why?
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Old 10-24-2008, 01:56 PM
 
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I think it's murders you have to disclose...not deaths in general.

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Old 10-24-2008, 02:01 PM
 
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Even so, I'm having a hard time coming up with a rational reason why it matters.
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Old 10-24-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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so I think it is up to you. It would be something unusual, on the other hand not knowing the people at all they may be weird and want you replace carpets or something ...

as far as reporting to the buyers that a murder occurred= maybe if it were an ongoing case or if there was something that would negatively affect the house value- but in general I would not tell someone about where a person died- I go to estate sales all the time and they are selling the house as well- now I guess some people may ask but usually the house sells and it certainly isn't publicized in the house sale where someone died---
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Old 10-24-2008, 02:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i am sure that the woman who's 6 children were born here (100 yo rural farm house), died in the very bedroom the baby was born in. this has never bothered me. my DH and i were married in the living room. i believe she was married at the church up the road and the reception happened here too. once upon a time births, marriages and deaths all happened at home.

i will be writing them a note that says.. "hi, welcome to your new home. here is some info you need." i'm thinking of adding "we hope you love your house as much as we have, in fact my daughter was born right here in a planned homebirth during a snow storm. there are many great memories we take from this place: my husband and i marrying in the living room, my children learning to walk and talk, jumping in the leaves in the yard. we hope your family will have many great memories too."

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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Old 10-24-2008, 02:31 PM
 
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so I think it is up to you. It would be something unusual, on the other hand not knowing the people at all they may be weird and want you replace carpets or something ...
: I imagine it'd be like finding out someone had sex on your couch. It would just make feel yucky to sit there. Birth is pretty messy and personally I wouldn't want to be sitting in my new house thinking about birth goo somewhere, kwim?

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Old 10-24-2008, 03:02 PM
 
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No, I didn't. I didn't want to ick anyone out of buying our house.


I'm pretty sure murders are a universal disclosure issue after some big lawsuits in the 80s.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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Old 10-24-2008, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, I didn't. I didn't want to ick anyone out of buying our house.
our house is a done deal, we close in 2 weeks.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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Old 10-24-2008, 03:11 PM
 
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I'm not going to look it up again, but I was curious enough this morning to do a Google search and found a reference that most states have laws that say the seller is not liable for not disclosing a murder. It's considered a "stigmatized property" but it's usually up to the buyer to ask.
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Old 10-24-2008, 03:32 PM
 
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well whether or not your are supposed to, i told the people who bought my old house. how could i not?! 3 of my babies were born there, those memories are so special to me i couldn't help but share.
even if they didn't appreciate it they still bought the house

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Old 10-24-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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I'm not going to look it up again, but I was curious enough this morning to do a Google search and found a reference that most states have laws that say the seller is not liable for not disclosing a murder. It's considered a "stigmatized property" but it's usually up to the buyer to ask.
Hmm, maybe the law is that you can't lie about it; dunno.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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Old 10-24-2008, 04:30 PM
 
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I would tell them after the house closed escrow and I had the money in my account.

Seriously, I just wouldn't risk losing a buyer (or having to do something extra because they we're "grossed out" by it). We didn't tell the people who bought our house.

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Old 10-24-2008, 04:34 PM
 
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our house is a done deal, we close in 2 weeks.
Those are famous last words! I wouldn't say it's a "done deal" until closing day when you have all of the funds in your account and the title is in their name.

Sorry, I'm sooo not trying to be pessimistic! I'm sure it will all be fine.

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Old 10-24-2008, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Those are famous last words! I wouldn't say it's a "done deal" until closing day when you have all of the funds in your account and the title is in their name.

Sorry, I'm sooo not trying to be pessimistic! I'm sure it will all be fine.
man you are pessimistic!

at this point they would lose a lot of money if they backed out, that's all i can say. esp since their house is already sold.

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Old 10-24-2008, 05:57 PM
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i will be writing them a note that says.. "hi, welcome to your new home. here is some info you need." i'm thinking of adding "we hope you love your house as much as we have, in fact my daughter was born right here in a planned homebirth during a snow storm. there are many great memories we take from this place: my husband and i marrying in the living room, my children learning to walk and talk, jumping in the leaves in the yard. we hope your family will have many great memories too."
I think this is great! Maybe I'm just reading into it how I feel, but I wouldn't have any qualms about telling buyers that a child was born in this house, especially after the deal was done, and think they might very well see it as a fun detail that shows how much the house was loved.
I certainly don't see learning of a home birth the same way as learning someone had sex on their couch - presumably they're bringing in their own furniture with them in any case, and there aren't any remnants of the birth left - hardly something to be grossed out by.
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think this is great! Maybe I'm just reading into it how I feel, but I wouldn't have any qualms about telling buyers that a child was born in this house, especially after the deal was done, and think they might very well see it as a fun detail that shows how much the house was loved.
I certainly don't see learning of a home birth the same way as learning someone had sex on their couch - presumably they're bringing in their own furniture with them in any case, and there aren't any remnants of the birth left - hardly something to be grossed out by.



and i know so many people who have said "homebirth? i had no idea this was possible!" who knows, maybe she will consider it. i know someone who on baby number 5 used a midwife because of my births... it's not a homebirth, but at least she was able to get away from the OB.

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Old 10-24-2008, 07:22 PM
 
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I think it's murders you have to disclose...not deaths in general.

Yep, that's what I meant
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Old 10-24-2008, 07:28 PM
 
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Personally, having had 6 hbs myself in 3 different homes, I wouldn't want to know. I want to imagine my house with us in it, not with you all in it. KWIM? Its advised that while selling you remove family photos and personal kick nacks so people can imagine themselves there. Its the same thing. And they might think you are weird for sharing. Having owned a couple houses now I think it would be very weird to have a letter from the previous owner.

About the death thing I know here in AZ they do not need to disclose if a death occurred. However if it was a meth lab they do (or course it also has to be completely gutted as well so if that wasn't done before you buying it you have to do it so you have to know). Murders no, TB yes. Aids No. There is a list. (Dh is getting his realtor's license lol, so he just went over all this).

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Old 10-24-2008, 07:48 PM
 
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I think the letter idea is great, especially considering the deeper history from before your time in the house. Leave it for them to find after the deal is all closed. As someone who also lives in a 100+ yo house, I would love to know more about the lives and memories of all its owners through its history.

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Old 10-24-2008, 07:57 PM
 
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I think most are missing the point. ...or maybe I am?

If they are new married couple and are hoping to start a family, I think it would be a wonderful thing to tell them exactly the note you posted earlier. Perhaps, it will stay in the back of their minds when they are pregnant with their first baby and it may start a chain of learning a more natural side of pregnancy of childbirth, if they don't already know. "Honey, remember the couple we bought the house from? They said they had a homebirth. I didn't know you could do that. I wonder what it's all about".

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Old 10-24-2008, 08:03 PM
 
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I think most are missing the point. ...or maybe I am?

If they are new married couple and are hoping to start a family, I think it would be a wonderful thing to tell them exactly the note you posted earlier. Perhaps, it will stay in the back of their minds when they are pregnant with their first baby and it may start a chain of learning a more natural side of pregnancy of childbirth, if they don't already know. "Honey, remember the couple we bought the house from? They said they had a homebirth. I didn't know you could do that. I wonder what it's all about".
i def agree! Well put. I would love to know personally and you never know what they might learn because of it. It's a very nice thought
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Old 10-24-2008, 08:16 PM
 
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Personally, having had 6 hbs myself in 3 different homes, I wouldn't want to know. I want to imagine my house with us in it, not with you all in it. KWIM? Its advised that while selling you remove family photos and personal kick nacks so people can imagine themselves there. Its the same thing. And they might think you are weird for sharing. Having owned a couple houses now I think it would be very weird to have a letter from the previous owner.
I agree with this. I guess this is a personal thing, lots of different opinions!

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Old 10-24-2008, 10:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Personally, having had 6 hbs myself in 3 different homes, I wouldn't want to know. I want to imagine my house with us in it, not with you all in it. KWIM? Its advised that while selling you remove family photos and personal kick nacks so people can imagine themselves there. Its the same thing. And they might think you are weird for sharing. Having owned a couple houses now I think it would be very weird to have a letter from the previous owner.
but my house isn't on the market any more. it's sold.

and i don't really care if they think i'm weird, i'll never see them again.

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Old 10-25-2008, 12:23 AM
 
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but my house isn't on the market any more. it's sold.

and i don't really care if they think i'm weird, i'll never see them again.
Well yes I know that, I am just saying that buyers don't want reminders of the previous owners.

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