I'm due in January with my 2nd, and there was never any question in DH's or my mind that I'd be giving birth at home again! Really, when people ask me whether I'm giving birth at home again, it's all I can do to not laugh at the question, I find it so silly.
I think what your DH said was right on. What I always tell people who ask me about homebirths is that while I know plenty of people who have decided to birth at home after going to the hospital, I've never met anyone in real life who chose to go to the hospital after birthing at home.
I believe as long as you are happy with your care provider and they are on the same wavelength as you when it comes to birthing that you're going to very happy.
I've had all homebirths, with my first birth the mw was a lot more hands on...but she may have needed to be. The first birth I was so tired, and it was so much longer of a labor. My second and third babes had very quick and easy births (though my last DS was posterior...still was a pretty quick birth)! Now, I definitely want the hands off approach I've had with the last two. Though I do realize a lot of why the first mw was more hands on was because she was there longer and I was in labor longer. More cervical checks, etc. With the last two, only one check at my request and less than an hour for both until baby was born.
Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!
Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?
our second child was born at home (YAY). it went better than i could have ever imagined! :
Rachel , wifey to best friend Karl ,
SAHM to Kaelan (11) Chandra (9) Liam (7) Lachlan (5) Killian (4),Riordan (1), Baby Boy EDD 11/14. All born at home!
One reason I feel like I might have a hospital birth next time is that my midwife is a CNM and I can have a hospital birth with her. I know that she will respect me during the birth and be supportive. I expect that nurses who work with her will know what kind of patients she has and won't be surprised by more "natural" choices.
The bottom line is, when you are at home, your MW is the top authority. When you are in the hospital, she is just so not.
Needless to say, it's HB for me this time.
Loving wife and mama to my sweet little son (Fall 2008) and a beautiful baby girl (Fall 2010)
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw
What most people I've talked to who were contemplating homebirths were afraid of was the pain -- but if you read up on the body's natural response to pain during labor (endorphins, etc.) -- you can see in a hot minute that home is the place to be to let the body do its thing naturally without interference. I can tell you, for my two births, I wanted the lights off and NO interference -- not even from my husband or midwife until I really needed them -- I cannot imagine making the sounds I made or crying the tears I needed to cry under bright lights with people I didn't know coming in and out of the room. I can imagine getting tense and afraid, leading to a need for pain relief, leading down a road of interventions I know I'd regret later.
I think one thing that makes homebirth so wonderful is that it's on YOUR terms -- and no can EVER take that away from you, whatever your experience. Even if you end up with a transport, for any reason, at least you know you gave it your all and you can feel proud of that for the rest of your life. Homebirth is a gift to yourself and your baby. You can do it!
In the future I envision a birth that is either UC or very close to it. I imagine having my baby outdoors, with nice music. I imagine the order or knowledge/control being as follows: the baby, me, my husband, my son, the miwife/helper.
Of course I would have another homebirth!
I had a homebirth this past september, and all though there were parts that were scary, it would have been five times scarier in the hospital, and having come through the other side it was so amazing and empowering, I will definitely be doing it again! I loved being home, curling up in my own bed with my family and my dogs and with my own pjs, waking up and being in my own life the next morning... It's indescribably wonderful to have been so in control and so relaxed.
Best of luck to you, relax, and know that you'll do great! You come from a long line of women, stretching back to the dawn of humanity, who have done this successfully. You can do it too.
Bubba (9) Lukey (5) Fat Baby (2) Me
Sounds like a bad experience...
But, baby #2 born at home (VBAC). It was fantastic.
Baby #3 due to arrive any day now...another plan to homebirth of course.
Several people said (and many more thought I'm sure) that they didn't get why I would attempt another homebirth after my first experience...which was not terrible or scary or any big emergency by the way, just exhaustion.
Because I beleive in my body, even after it didn't quite work for me the first time.
I'm sure there are bad experiences. Bad birth experiences. But I have never heard anyone blame it on the fact that it was a HOME birth.
Relax. When it happens, you just have to let go and ride the ride.
Jesus-loving Doula/Birth Photographer Mama to Tor 4/2007, Zion 11/2009, Enoch 11/2011, and Zephyr due 12/13/2013
that photograph was taken 5 days ago, at the birth of my 4th child (my second homebirth), in my home with my husband, my MW and my best friend as photographer...it was my longest, hardest labor...but the picture says it all. will i do it again? absolutely! (just next time work on getting babe into a better position prior to labor commencing lol)
my first birth (hospital) was horrid.
my second birth, a year later (hospital) wasn't horrid as the first, but not ideal. Moments like the above photograph never happened at my hospital births..even my best hospital birth memories don't compare.
my third birth (first homebirth) was amazing and empowering! my shortest, quickest, labor....his birth story (with pics) is here:
and my 4th birth, (second homebirth, one referanced above) was also amazing and empowering. hard? yes. hour+ transition phase is hard no matter where you are, and i actually did briefly think of transferring for pain relief, but decided not to because i knew that "moment" above would eventually come and i would have been furious with myself to have it happen in an ambulance.
but that option for transfer is there. People seem to not understand just because you go for a HB doesn't mean you're "stuck" with it. you get the option for both worlds right up until the head pops out lol. so don't feel trapped or anything...you'll be fine. whatever you decide.
btw, you ARE going to update us when you birth, right?????
well..if a picture is worth a thousand words:
Laura wife to Chris proud mommy to our lil monkey (c-section 6-10-06), our other lil monkey (HBAC 3-08-09) Our next and last son (due by HBAC mid July 2011) and our angel (10-03-04). My middle son has many severe food allergies.
It was an amazing experience and still brings tears to my eyes when I think back to it.
The entire atmosphere was one of love, peace, quiet anticipation and just pure joy. DH and I bonded on levels I could never have imagined.
I want to have another baby! OMG the baby and homebirth lust is getting me lol.
However, would going the OB hospie route have been better? probably not. It just would have traded one set of horrors for another ( i would have been induced, failed, had c/s for sure, and had to deal with hospital procedures, declining vax, etc)
I just hate birth. It seems like there isn't really a good way to do it for me....I'm honestly considering the UK forf my next birth, so i can have a HB *with* pain meds. I think that option would be best, for me, and it is awful MW's here can't/don't carry and offer nitrous or injectables for pain reliefnat home.
I will say, my experience seems to be in the minority.
I think it helps to examine your specific fears - are you afraid of pain? Loss? Both?
I have to add is that some people seem to have an idea that a birth at home is going to be this romantic blissed out thing - which it can be, for sure, but that doesn't mean pain-free. I also think our culture tends to be fairly wimpy about pain, taking meds for every little thing that bothers us. Birth is painful. It's a trial by fire!
But in between those excruciating contractions is a really nice endorphin high, if you can ride out that wave of pain.
I don't mean to scare people but I don't feel shy about saying that it is going to hurt like everything and worse, and that you might crap yourself in front of the people present, and so forth.
I guess maybe it helps to be a little bit of a masochist and not afraid of some pain and mess I think of it in a warrior type mindframe - bring it on, I'm ready! I feel like I'm training for a "big match"! I know it's going to suck and hurt, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I think you've got to be a little tough, and if you aren't so much to begin with, you will be afterwards
As for the worries about complications/loss those things you can read up on and discuss with your midwife. What are complications that could happen? What would you do in the case of...? Etc.
The provider is so important, and it is nice to have a "good rapport" with them but ultimately you want to know from others who have birthed with them how it went. My midwife isn't incredibly personable but I knew of many people who were very happy with their birth outcomes and her skills. Another midwife in town who most people say is very charismatic turned out to not be such a great midwife and has even had some legal issues. So I think it helps to ask around and get references!
Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?
We are having our 1st HB in 3 weeks (yikes!) and I'm really nervous. My hubby always says "I have never met someone who had a HB that would not do it again, so it must have been fine/awesome".
Is this true?
Any words of wisdom for me? How can I control my nerves? What if I get into this and it is horrible?
I'd absolutely hb again. I would never choose to go to the hospital.
I'm sorry you're nervous... for me, I kept reading GOOD birhtstories, I did my Bradley exercises, I talked with DH and my midwife, and tried to envision a postive experience. Good luck!
I've had a hospital birth as well, and would certainly never *choose* one again over birthing at home.
It is normal to be nervous, but as one of the midwifes told me - it takes about 30min to prepare the operating theatre so I could either be lying on the bed in hospital waiting or be in an ambulance transferring from home if there was any major emergency.
And the inflatable 100 gallon labor pool really helped.
But nothing about the unmedicated birth of a 10+ lb baby with nuchal arm ever got worse than that 4 cm dilation on Pitocin, and that tells the tale to me. Having midwives who we calm and competent, and a doula who was there to assist DH and DD and support them emotionally, really helped. DH went nuts with fear during the hospital fiasco, and also went nuts with fear during the homebirth, and there were times he just had to leave when I was hollering, and the doula was there for him while the midwives were there for me. But it sounds like your DH is already in a better place regarding birth, so you have that blessing.
It was intense, and of course I reached the magic point every woman does of "I can't do it!" (which I knew I could but it helped and actually made me feel better, to protest), and I also reached the point of getting myself through the next pushing contraction by saying "Just one more is all" but I did do it, and now I have a proud, joyous birth memory and pics, which helps resolve my sad angry feelings about the section of my 1st child.
Knowing how it feels each way, I would homebirth again, for sure, if there were a next time.
Wouldn't consider doing it any other way, personally. I understand why some women choose hospitals, and I try not to be pushy about HBs, but I really think you won't regret it.
Here's my story:
First time mother, great homebirth of full term twin girls!
Sure, there are things I would have done differently. And I happened to have two midwives because of timing. That really opened my eyes to the differences between caregivers. But as a PP mentioned, even at it's worst, my HB was way better than a hospital birth for me would have been.
Read all you can with a rational eye. Satisfy yourself about the risks and everything that happens. So when you have your birth, you can focus on the experience and not on your anxiety. Being informed helps a lot, and it sounds like you have a supportive DH. Congrats.
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