Those with a HB under their belt... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 02:08 AM
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I had a homebirth with my first, and it was far from ideal for a homebirth, but still SO much better than I'd imagine the "ideal" birth in a hospital would be. My labor was not at all textbook, and if I'd been in a hospital, I don't even want to think about the interventions that would likely have been forced upon me.

I'm due in January with my 2nd, and there was never any question in DH's or my mind that I'd be giving birth at home again! Really, when people ask me whether I'm giving birth at home again, it's all I can do to not laugh at the question, I find it so silly.

I think what your DH said was right on. What I always tell people who ask me about homebirths is that while I know plenty of people who have decided to birth at home after going to the hospital, I've never met anyone in real life who chose to go to the hospital after birthing at home.

T , mom to S and C
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#62 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 11:17 AM
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IRL I've never met someone who has homebirthed and not wanted another one. However, I'm sure that it can be found somewhere on the internet, and even here. I have met people on MDC who have not been happy with their midwives during the in. Many of the times they did have lots of red flags during their prenatals, etc. but did not change.

I believe as long as you are happy with your care provider and they are on the same wavelength as you when it comes to birthing that you're going to very happy.

I've had all homebirths, with my first birth the mw was a lot more hands on...but she may have needed to be. The first birth I was so tired, and it was so much longer of a labor. My second and third babes had very quick and easy births (though my last DS was posterior...still was a pretty quick birth)! Now, I definitely want the hands off approach I've had with the last two. Though I do realize a lot of why the first mw was more hands on was because she was there longer and I was in labor longer. More cervical checks, etc. With the last two, only one check at my request and less than an hour for both until baby was born.

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice in tropical cats and homebirths rock!

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#63 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Munki'sMom View Post
Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?
i haven't read the whole thread, but i'd just like to say, we've planned two homebirths. we had to transfer with our first, and even though the situation was less than ideal, and definitely not what i'd wanted/planned, it was better than a start-to-finish hospital birth any day of the week! there's a lot i could say about it, but just saying it was a "bad experience" would never happen.

our second child was born at home (YAY). it went better than i could have ever imagined! :
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#64 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 04:23 PM
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I've had 5 at home and that is the only way I plan to birth for future babies unless there is an emegency. It's so nice to be in control of your labor and your birth. I always feel so empowered afterwards. And being able to snuggle up in your own bed afterwards is the best.

Rachel , wifey to best friend Karl ,
SAHM to Kaelan (11) Chandra (9) Liam (7) Lachlan (5) Killian (4),Riordan (1), Baby Boy EDD 11/14. All born at home!

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#65 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 04:30 PM
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I've had two great homebirth experiences. No question I would do it again for future pregnancies.
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#66 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Romana9+2 View Post
One reason I feel like I might have a hospital birth next time is that my midwife is a CNM and I can have a hospital birth with her. I know that she will respect me during the birth and be supportive. I expect that nurses who work with her will know what kind of patients she has and won't be surprised by more "natural" choices.
The thing I didn't know at my hospital birth with my highly trusted MW was that when MWs are in the hospital they are subject to the orders of the attending doctor on the floor, who will probably never see you, but who can tell them he thinks it's been too long or it's time for Pitocin or whatever. There are also hospital policies, such as what to do if there is light meconium, or that you have to get on the fetal heartrate monitor, that can really derail a natural birth.

The bottom line is, when you are at home, your MW is the top authority. When you are in the hospital, she is just so not.

Needless to say, it's HB for me this time.
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#67 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 09:12 PM
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I just had a homebirth a week ago and can't imagine doing it any other way. A hospital birth is just not for me. I would have transfered if necessary, of course, but only if necessary. Home is where I am safest and most comfortable--why leave if I don't have to?

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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#68 of 93 Old 11-18-2008, 09:32 PM
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My two homebirth labors were long and painful -- I wasn't going through the experience thinking "wow this is so magical and empowering!" -- even though in retrospect of course it was -- BUT I knew at all times that I was making the best choice for myself and my baby, and I was so, so, SO glad that my kids got the start they did, and even during the worst of it I was glad I was home.

What most people I've talked to who were contemplating homebirths were afraid of was the pain -- but if you read up on the body's natural response to pain during labor (endorphins, etc.) -- you can see in a hot minute that home is the place to be to let the body do its thing naturally without interference. I can tell you, for my two births, I wanted the lights off and NO interference -- not even from my husband or midwife until I really needed them -- I cannot imagine making the sounds I made or crying the tears I needed to cry under bright lights with people I didn't know coming in and out of the room. I can imagine getting tense and afraid, leading to a need for pain relief, leading down a road of interventions I know I'd regret later.

I think one thing that makes homebirth so wonderful is that it's on YOUR terms -- and no can EVER take that away from you, whatever your experience. Even if you end up with a transport, for any reason, at least you know you gave it your all and you can feel proud of that for the rest of your life. Homebirth is a gift to yourself and your baby. You can do it!
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#69 of 93 Old 11-19-2008, 06:33 PM
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So, so many things went wrong or would be completely different if I had it to do all over again. The midwife who had been awesome for prenatals, turned out to be not awesome for the main event. We were in a tiny basement apartment with nowhere outdoors to labour. My husband was at work until the last couple hours. There was no celebration, beauty or romance.
In the future I envision a birth that is either UC or very close to it. I imagine having my baby outdoors, with nice music. I imagine the order or knowledge/control being as follows: the baby, me, my husband, my son, the miwife/helper.
Of course I would have another homebirth!
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#70 of 93 Old 11-19-2008, 06:41 PM
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Just wanted to chime in with my $0.02...
I had a homebirth this past september, and all though there were parts that were scary, it would have been five times scarier in the hospital, and having come through the other side it was so amazing and empowering, I will definitely be doing it again! I loved being home, curling up in my own bed with my family and my dogs and with my own pjs, waking up and being in my own life the next morning... It's indescribably wonderful to have been so in control and so relaxed.
Best of luck to you, relax, and know that you'll do great! You come from a long line of women, stretching back to the dawn of humanity, who have done this successfully. You can do it too.
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#71 of 93 Old 11-19-2008, 06:50 PM
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I've had both, and while my first was a preemie at 31 weeks I know a full-term hospital birth wouldn't be much different in terms of procedures and policies. I have to echo what a PP said, there's no way I would be comfortable making the noises I made and being half-naked like I was if I were in the hospital. With all the yelling I did, I'd even hazard a guess that the hospital staff would try to quiet me down or let me know it wasn't acceptable. Once I hit transition the pain was immense and I knew exactly why some women beg for epidurals and would have gladly accepted drugs had they been offered, but what sticks out in my mind is that I never once thought "I need to go to the hospital for drugs". I was in pain, but it was okay and I wasn't afraid. So not only would I gladly have another homebirth, but my homebirth experience made me decide I definitely want a 3rd child. Before this I was iffy on how many kids I wanted, now I know I want more.

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#72 of 93 Old 11-19-2008, 10:28 PM
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I hb my ds and am about to hb again with this pregnancy(if all goes to plan) after having a hb i would never choose to go to the hospital unless emergency

mommy daddy son daughter = our family
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#73 of 93 Old 11-19-2008, 11:00 PM
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My first birth was planned to be at home and stayed that way for 36 hours. Transfered to hospital and ended up with a csection after 52 total hours.

Sounds like a bad experience...

But, baby #2 born at home (VBAC). It was fantastic.
Baby #3 due to arrive any day now...another plan to homebirth of course.

Several people said (and many more thought I'm sure) that they didn't get why I would attempt another homebirth after my first experience...which was not terrible or scary or any big emergency by the way, just exhaustion.

Because I beleive in my body, even after it didn't quite work for me the first time.

I'm sure there are bad experiences. Bad birth experiences. But I have never heard anyone blame it on the fact that it was a HOME birth.

Relax. When it happens, you just have to let go and ride the ride.

Mama to DS1 (4/04) DS2 (HBAC 11/06) DS3 (HBAC 12/08) DS4 (HBAC 1/11). Wife to one handsome hard working DH.
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#74 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 01:02 AM
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I loved my homebirth! Yes, it hurt, but I sure wouldn't have done it any other way! Peaceful, non-one there you don't want there.... I am actually looking forward to it again when we get preg with #2.

Jesus-loving Doula/Birth Photographer Mama to Tor 4/2007, Zion 11/2009, Enoch 11/2011, and Zephyr due 12/13/2013

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#75 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 04:57 PM
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well..if a picture is worth a thousand words:

that photograph was taken 5 days ago, at the birth of my 4th child (my second homebirth), in my home with my husband, my MW and my best friend as was my longest, hardest labor...but the picture says it all. will i do it again? absolutely! (just next time work on getting babe into a better position prior to labor commencing lol)

my first birth (hospital) was horrid.

my second birth, a year later (hospital) wasn't horrid as the first, but not ideal. Moments like the above photograph never happened at my hospital births..even my best hospital birth memories don't compare.

my third birth (first homebirth) was amazing and empowering! my shortest, quickest, labor....his birth story (with pics) is here:

and my 4th birth, (second homebirth, one referanced above) was also amazing and empowering. hard? yes. hour+ transition phase is hard no matter where you are, and i actually did briefly think of transferring for pain relief, but decided not to because i knew that "moment" above would eventually come and i would have been furious with myself to have it happen in an ambulance.

but that option for transfer is there. People seem to not understand just because you go for a HB doesn't mean you're "stuck" with it. you get the option for both worlds right up until the head pops out lol. so don't feel trapped or'll be fine. whatever you decide.

btw, you ARE going to update us when you birth, right?????
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#76 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by hislittlelambs View Post
well..if a picture is worth a thousand words:
I LOVE this photo. Makes me happy just looking at it.

Laura wife to Chris proud mommy to our lil monkey (c-section 6-10-06), our other lil monkey (HBAC 3-08-09) Our next and last son (due by HBAC mid July 2011) and our angel (10-03-04). My middle son has many severe food allergies.

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#77 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 05:20 PM
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:::: Is all I have to say about homebirth.

It was an amazing experience and still brings tears to my eyes when I think back to it.

The entire atmosphere was one of love, peace, quiet anticipation and just pure joy. DH and I bonded on levels I could never have imagined.

I want to have another baby! OMG the baby and homebirth lust is getting me lol.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#78 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 05:49 PM
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sorry..negative experiences experiences were similar to romana's, in that the births themselves were just sheer hell, pain way beyond anything that should be, nothing happened to me to make it worse, my births were UC's, so I didn't have awful midwives or anything....but ther is no way i would ever describe my births as a positive experience..or empowering or happy or fun (really some of you, fun???) or anything other than sheer hell, unimaginable torture and excruciating damnation.
However, would going the OB hospie route have been better? probably not. It just would have traded one set of horrors for another ( i would have been induced, failed, had c/s for sure, and had to deal with hospital procedures, declining vax, etc)
I just hate birth. It seems like there isn't really a good way to do it for me....I'm honestly considering the UK forf my next birth, so i can have a HB *with* pain meds. I think that option would be best, for me, and it is awful MW's here can't/don't carry and offer nitrous or injectables for pain reliefnat home.
I will say, my experience seems to be in the minority.

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#79 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 11:10 PM
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I've had 4 homebirths and planning another one with this baby. I've done the hospital...never again!
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#80 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm so so happy I posted this. Your stories have really helped me. That pic and the last birth story (lil boy after 2 girls?) was just beautiful and filled me with hope and joy. I'm less than 2 weeks away and feeling more and more confident. Thanks so much!
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#81 of 93 Old 11-23-2008, 11:55 PM
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Two homebirths here. Wouldn't change a thing. I don't know anyone personally who regretted their homebirth, but I do have a friend who had a bad midwife experience and ended up in the hospital. She felt bummed about not birthing at home and ending up with a section, but it was a case where it was necessary. At that point I reassured her that the end result of a healthy baby was the most important thing.

I think it helps to examine your specific fears - are you afraid of pain? Loss? Both?

I have to add is that some people seem to have an idea that a birth at home is going to be this romantic blissed out thing - which it can be, for sure, but that doesn't mean pain-free. I also think our culture tends to be fairly wimpy about pain, taking meds for every little thing that bothers us. Birth is painful. It's a trial by fire!

But in between those excruciating contractions is a really nice endorphin high, if you can ride out that wave of pain.

I don't mean to scare people but I don't feel shy about saying that it is going to hurt like everything and worse, and that you might crap yourself in front of the people present, and so forth.

I guess maybe it helps to be a little bit of a masochist and not afraid of some pain and mess I think of it in a warrior type mindframe - bring it on, I'm ready! I feel like I'm training for a "big match"! I know it's going to suck and hurt, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I think you've got to be a little tough, and if you aren't so much to begin with, you will be afterwards

As for the worries about complications/loss those things you can read up on and discuss with your midwife. What are complications that could happen? What would you do in the case of...? Etc.

The provider is so important, and it is nice to have a "good rapport" with them but ultimately you want to know from others who have birthed with them how it went. My midwife isn't incredibly personable but I knew of many people who were very happy with their birth outcomes and her skills. Another midwife in town who most people say is very charismatic turned out to not be such a great midwife and has even had some legal issues. So I think it helps to ask around and get references!
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#82 of 93 Old 11-24-2008, 12:59 AM
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I've had 2 does that answer your question?

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#83 of 93 Old 11-24-2008, 02:06 PM
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i have always wanted to homebirth and had a great UC. it was a fantastic experience. i wouldn't do it any other way, unless i had a medical need.
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#84 of 93 Old 11-24-2008, 04:10 PM
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I've loved both my homebirths. Due any day now and planning a 3rd homebirth.
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#85 of 93 Old 11-24-2008, 09:43 PM
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My homebirth was the most empowering thing I have ever done in my life. I would never give birth in a hospital again (unless, of course, problems..blah blahblah).

Ilaria mamma to Owen, Caroline & Patrick .... loving life as expats in Asia intactlact.gifnovaxnocirc.gifuc.jpgnamaste.gif
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#86 of 93 Old 11-25-2008, 01:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Munki'sMom View Post
Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?

We are having our 1st HB in 3 weeks (yikes!) and I'm really nervous. My hubby always says "I have never met someone who had a HB that would not do it again, so it must have been fine/awesome".

Is this true?

Any words of wisdom for me? How can I control my nerves? What if I get into this and it is horrible?
I would not describe my hb as being a bad experience, far from it! There were, however, things I was disappointed about and hope to avoid the next time. I have to believe that those feelings are quite common, no matter where you birth!

I'd absolutely hb again. I would never choose to go to the hospital.

I'm sorry you're nervous... for me, I kept reading GOOD birhtstories, I did my Bradley exercises, I talked with DH and my midwife, and tried to envision a postive experience. Good luck!

Stacy - mom to Lily 5-20-06 , Angel, stillborn @ 25 wks 12-17-07 , and Cami 4-21-09.
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#87 of 93 Old 11-25-2008, 01:29 PM
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I'm having another home birth next summer. :
I've had a hospital birth as well, and would certainly never *choose* one again over birthing at home.
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#88 of 93 Old 11-25-2008, 02:28 PM
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My home birth was really empowering and absolutely the most amazing experience in my life! I was one of the "lucky" ones that can honestly say it was absolutely pain free:::! I think I was so full of RRL tea and so busy running after the toddler before dh came from work that I had no time to pay attention to the contractions and the whole intense thing lasted only about 15 min. I also had a hospital birth (induced) that was emotionally and physically really traumatic and painful despite all the drugs they have given me. If I ever have another baby it is going to be BORN AT HOME!
It is normal to be nervous, but as one of the midwifes told me - it takes about 30min to prepare the operating theatre so I could either be lying on the bed in hospital waiting or be in an ambulance transferring from home if there was any major emergency.
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#89 of 93 Old 11-26-2008, 09:58 AM
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I had a homebirth VBAC, (homebirth after c/section) and I can tell you from my experience that the height of transition didn't give me pain that was any worse than only making it to 4 cm induced with Pitocin the first time around. That first time ended with epidural and section, and the difference between the two experiences was night and day. I won't tell you it was painless, but being respected and able to birth in any position I wanted, to labor standing up and squatting/bending over through contractions as I felt like, to eat and drink and sing and holler as I felt like, and having everyone instantly fall silent when I snapped "Shut up!" when I had been all chatty and joking moments before...I was not under threat of someone violating me, overriding me, telling me what to do, or threatening me with interventions and section, and therefore I was never afraid. And being unafraid REALLY helped. Being able to "go within" really helped.
And the inflatable 100 gallon labor pool really helped.
But nothing about the unmedicated birth of a 10+ lb baby with nuchal arm ever got worse than that 4 cm dilation on Pitocin, and that tells the tale to me. Having midwives who we calm and competent, and a doula who was there to assist DH and DD and support them emotionally, really helped. DH went nuts with fear during the hospital fiasco, and also went nuts with fear during the homebirth, and there were times he just had to leave when I was hollering, and the doula was there for him while the midwives were there for me. But it sounds like your DH is already in a better place regarding birth, so you have that blessing.

It was intense, and of course I reached the magic point every woman does of "I can't do it!" (which I knew I could but it helped and actually made me feel better, to protest), and I also reached the point of getting myself through the next pushing contraction by saying "Just one more is all" but I did do it, and now I have a proud, joyous birth memory and pics, which helps resolve my sad angry feelings about the section of my 1st child.
Knowing how it feels each way, I would homebirth again, for sure, if there were a next time.

Urban Homesteader, secular homeschooler, HBACer, sewing cloth maxipads, reading Diana Gabaldon, (rhymes with 'cobblestone') hoping for a Star Trek future rather than a Firefly one.
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#90 of 93 Old 11-26-2008, 07:23 PM
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I'm in the shout it from the rooftops, homebirth is awesome camp! It's so much more humane than what I've seen of hospital births. Better recovery, little PPD, and there's so much a MW can handle at home. More than I would have ever guessed. Read some about the Farm, you can have a rewarding homebirth with many, many different circumstances.

Wouldn't consider doing it any other way, personally. I understand why some women choose hospitals, and I try not to be pushy about HBs, but I really think you won't regret it.

Here's my story:

First time mother, great homebirth of full term twin girls!

Sure, there are things I would have done differently. And I happened to have two midwives because of timing. That really opened my eyes to the differences between caregivers. But as a PP mentioned, even at it's worst, my HB was way better than a hospital birth for me would have been.

Read all you can with a rational eye. Satisfy yourself about the risks and everything that happens. So when you have your birth, you can focus on the experience and not on your anxiety. Being informed helps a lot, and it sounds like you have a supportive DH. Congrats.

Best wishes!

Mom to : Belle and Izzy
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Ana Anka , anisaer , coconotcoco , Dakotacakes , Deborah , Dovenoir , eastbaymama , girlspn , greenemami , hammadsmom , hillymum , IsaFrench , Jessica765 , lisak1234 , mamaof3kids , manyhatsmom , Maria Arroyo , Michele123 , Mirzam , moominmamma , RollerCoasterMama , rosieQ , sciencemum , shantimama , Sonja416 , Springshowers , thefragile7393 , Xerxella , zoeyzoo
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.