Those with a HB under their belt... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 12:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?

We are having our 1st HB in 3 weeks (yikes!) and I'm really nervous. My hubby always says "I have never met someone who had a HB that would not do it again, so it must have been fine/awesome".

Is this true?

Any words of wisdom for me? How can I control my nerves? What if I get into this and it is horrible?
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#2 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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It's normal to be nervous...regardless of how you will be giving birth. It's a big event and our culture loves to focus on everything that can go wrong. Sometimes it's hard to maintain perspective and remember that the odds are very very good that you will have a great birth.

I had a HB with DS in June 2007 and I'm planning another one for our latest addition around July 2009. I wouldn't do it any other way

Mama to DS (6/07) h20homebirth.gif, DD (6/09) h20homebirth.gif, and DD (07/12) homebirth.jpg..

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#3 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:05 AM
 
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well, in my perspective, birth is birth and it will be the way it is either at home or in a hospital. for me, a hospital is not somewhere that i can birth peacefully so i would always opt for a HB.

as far as nerves about birth, my advice would be to read as much as you can about the risks/benefits and also watch HB videos. You should try as much as possible to be at peace with your decision.

having said that, my last birth (the HB) was fast and furious. 4 hours from first uncomfortable contrax to birth...that was a bit too intense. but i would have never chosen another option.
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#4 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:10 AM
 
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I had a homebirth this past summer. It was amazing, empowering, exhillerating and absolutely wonderful. I plan to have the rest of my children at home as well.

It is a birth, you end up with a beautiful child and you did it on your own terms. Even if labor is long and hard you get a sense of accomplishment after a natural birth in your own home that is just fantastic. You will not regret it.

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#5 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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Sure, there are some people who have really traumatic births at home... but there are lots (more) who have really traumatic births in the hospital.

For me, I would never, ever consider anything else unless I really had to medically, and then I would mourn the loss of the homebirth.

You can always transfer to a hospital if things are going "bad", but you can't transfer home if they're going great, y'know? Home is the default, hospital is the backup.
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#6 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:16 AM
 
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No way. Even the "bad" parts were still an amazing part of the experience. I will DEFINITELY do it again!

I've never heard of anyone not wanting another homebirth either. I've known women who COULDN'T have another due to medical issues, but that's different.

IMO most women who choose homebirth are very well educated on all the ins and outs of it, and they make that choice because they see birth as a total package, and the not-so-warm-fuzzy parts are all part of that package. It's not like with hospital birth, where most women go in not really knowing how it's going to play out, and getting blindsided by how bad it was. I hope this is making sense, it sounded better in my head than it did written down!
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#7 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:39 AM
 
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No way. Two babies. Two homebirths. If they'd been in the hospital both would have likely been sections (ds for SURE) and traumatic in other ways. Ds would have landed in the NICU I am certain. Instead both were peaceful and everyone was together and safe.

By no means were my births EASY. I have easy pregnancy and pretty easy babies, but I seem to have crappy labors No way I'd chance a hospital.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like more detail.

-Angela
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#8 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:50 AM
 
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Nope! And my previous hospital birth was a 'good' one by most standards. But I still chose home this time and wouldn't change it for anything..it was just what I wanted.

Besides, if you really hate it at home (which I doubt ), you can always go to the hospital. Can't really get up from the hospital and say "$%^ this", kwim?
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#9 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 02:01 AM
 
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I had a homebirth vbac in september and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything and if I have anymor children they will definitely be at home.

Mother to  Joaquin 10-13-00ribboncesarean.gif , Israel 9-5-2008 hbac.gif Judah 01-26-11hbac.gif Jax 01-26-11ribboncesarean.gif
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#10 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 03:06 AM
 
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I can truly say that my 2 homebirths were the two best experiences of my life. Although I can't say which is #1 vs. #2. Probably equal. I wouldn't ever choose a hospital or birth center birth, unless our health necessitated it.

Non Practicing Midwife, going back to school! Mamma to my 3 loves, living each day to the fullest.
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#11 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 09:38 AM
 
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I loved my HB and would never do it any other way again. I had a hospital birth with my first and it was emotionally draining, exhausting, painful. My homebirth was empowering, comfortable, magical, and there was pain, but it was eclipsed by all the other feelings.

It was a beautiful October morning when I was in labor and we had the windows open and the ceiling fans on and I can still remember the smell of fresh air, the sounds of my older DS downstairs with my parents, the peaceful demeanor of my midwife and DH who were helping me. Magical is a good word for it.

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#12 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 10:16 AM
 
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I reget my hospital birth, I don't regret my two homebirths (well, I kinda regret the way the last one happened, unplanned UC and DH missed it because he was upstairs, I so wish he was there to catch the baby).
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#13 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 10:30 AM
 
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I know two women IRL who had homebirths for the first pregnancy and who decided to give birth at a clinic in subsequent pregnancies.

In one case, the labour was very long and the baby had to be given oxygen when it was born. I think the midwife pulling out the oxygen tank kind of shocked my friend. She decided to go with the clinic for the subsequent pregnancy, I think just because the whole oxygen tank at home thing scared her (of course, she did realise that the same procedures would have occurred at a clinic or hospital - I think it was more a psychological thing for her).

In the other case, my friend was in labour 30+ hours with no progress and no sign of the pain subsiding. She ended up transferring to a hospital, so in the end, the birth itself was not at home. She tore extremely badly. She may have been one of those rare cases where an episiotomy might have helped (I think that she might have torn from vagina to anus ) but the midwife refused to do one. For her subsequent 2 births, she felt more comfortable in a clinic. However, she has subsequently said that, funnily enough, the last two births could have happened at home, no problem.

Roman Goddess, mom to J (August 2004) and J (April 2009).    h20homebirth.gif signcirc1.gif
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#14 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 10:50 AM
 
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I had a homebirth this past july and it was an amazing experience. I can't imagine having a hospital birth and never want to. I think part of what made it so great is that I was on my own turf and I was very sure of myself and what I was doing. If I were in the hospital, I don't think I would've been any where near as confident.

I will admit that I have some unnecessary fears about having another homebirth, but I think those have to do a lot with the post partum anxiety that i've been having. Even with those fears, I would still choose to give birth again at home--never in a hospital unless I had some medical issues that necessitated it.

student momma to two great girls

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#15 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 11:51 AM
 
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5 kids ~ 3 hospital births & 2 homebirths...I will never step foot in the hospital again unless I have too . After having my first 3 kids & realizing things could be so different we went for a HB with #4...then it only seemed natural to have another one...we are planning our 3rd HB (6th child) this coming March.

Sure ~ birth is hard work no matter where you have your baby. But being in a location that you feel safe & know that those surrounding you trust your body makes such a HUGE difference IMO. No time frames from the staff ~ I walked out of my house at a few points & no one cared ~ I ate when I needed to ~ my older kids got to be present for the birth & the oldest was able to cut the umbilical cord of the youngest child (I'd like to see that in a hospital!)....all reasons why I am planning my 3rd birth at home :

It is completely normal to be nervous about the upcoming birth ~ heck, I'm nervous for various reasons about having my next baby.....I think we all have small fears that come up at odd moments. Talk to your Dh & MW, I bet everything you are feeling your MW has heard before and can help you get through these feelings

Dana
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#16 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 12:22 PM
 
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I have 3 births under my belt. One was at the hospital and two were at home. I am about ready to have my 4th baby at home. I would never do it any other way. My 1st ended up in NICU. I ended up with a 4th degree tear and had all sorts of problems that were completely preventable. My homebirths were very quick and peaceful.
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#17 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 12:37 PM
 
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I'd NEVER want to birth in a hospital after being home ... (unless I needed to transport for an emergency or some other medical reason came up) ...

Even if the birth itself is hard or not what you were hoping for ... there is nothing in the world like climbing into your OWN bed and snuggling together ... or getting into the shower after the birth or having a snack and drink and knowing you are home.

Homebirth is the best!!! :
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#18 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 01:41 PM
 
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My births so far are...
  • Home Birth
  • Non-Emergency Transport During Labor
  • Transfer of Care Prior to Onset of Labor Due to Possible Birth Defects
  • Home Birth
  • Planning My Third Home Birth Any Day Now

I had two really good hospital births, but I would never purposely plan to birth there unless I had real medical reasons to do so. I like my privacy and appreciated not having to drive the 20 minutes home the day after giving birth.
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#19 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 03:13 PM
 
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I've had two of each - home and hospital.

My first was home. I loved it. Wonderful experience!

Second two were born in the hospital. Dh was military and hospital births were free - we couldn't afford a midwife.

First hospital birth was really traumatic. I was treated terribly by the CNM I went with. Tons of pressure and stress. It wasn't a good experience.

Second hospital birth, I went with a different CNM. She was very different and treated me SO much better. I had a lot of fear about going to the hospital. I had a lot of fantasies about just staying home and doing it myself. (If I had known the people actually did Unassisted on purpose I totally would have.) His birth went really well. Was my "easiest" birth. I was treated much better and it was as good a hospital birth as you could hope for. I still hated being there and just wanted to be at home.

My fourth birth I had at home. It was my hardest labor/delivery physically and emotionally. There were several things that happened that I wish hadn't. However, I'm still really glad that I had her at home.

If I ever have another child, I will definitely birth at home - barring medical necessity.

I love home birth!

Best wishes for your upcoming birth. Trust your body and your baby. They know what they are doing!
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#20 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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I had a homebirth with DD and am planning one again. I wouldn't ever choose to give birth in the hospital unless I felt it was medically indicated/necessary. I have several friends who have homebirthed, and they'd all do it again...even my friend who had 24 hours of back labor at home with a posterior baby. She said her labor was pretty awful but she was glad she wasn't at the hospital.
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#21 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 03:25 PM
 
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I've had one at a freestanding birth center and one at home. I would never plan a birth anywhere but home again. It was an amazing experience, and I just believe that home is overall safer. I would never actually choose to give birth in a hospital where all the germs and sick people are. If I was forced to transfer to a hospital, that would just be what would happen, but I would never plan it that way.

I was nervous too, though, and did not feel confident in the beginning, but I think the more you read, the more you watch, the more confident you become. A great book to read is The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth.

Just because you give birth in a hospital, does not mean it is somehow "safer". Things still go wrong in the hospital, and they are not standing there in the corner of the room with a scalpel ready to give you a c-section. PLUS, when you are at home, with a competent knowledgeable midwife who is familiar with the natural processes of birth, they are with you all the time, whereas in a hospital you likely have a nurse coming to check on you a couple of times an hour, and she is watching several other people, and really how much can she pick up on? I think a lot more things can go wrong in the hospital. Yes, things can go wrong in birth, but really those are the outlying instances. Most of the time, everything is fine. And you just have to trust that you are making the choice you feel the best about. For me, I felt safer at home. Less germs (especially abx-resistant germs) in my home, at home you are around the germs that belong to you and your family not all the sick people in the hospital. Being comfortable and allowing labor to progress normally. Feeling safe and trusting birth. It is an amazing experience. Plus, I would read about how in other countries, homebirth IS the norm, and they actually have better maternal and neonatal outcomes than we do in the US with with all of our high-tech medical "life-saving" devices.
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#22 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 03:39 PM
 
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No I could never say that about my birth- it was everything I hoped it would be and more. It was peaceful, empowering and healing for me. I had a fast and uncomplicated birth that went very smooth so I know that goes a long ways towards my positive view of it. I am currently just overdue with baby #3 and planning another homebirth with my lovely midwives. The one thing I wasn't really expecting was the pain factor- I think a lot of info kind of glosses over the pain- saying that fear causes pain, or if you have more freedom to move etc you won't feel it as much etc. It was not true for me- I would say that I handled the pain better than my hospital birth, but it was still just as painful (except the tear free recovery!) and there was nothing for me to fear. I guess I was expecting it to hurt a lot less because I would be free from pushy hospital staff, no one threatening me, a tub full of hot water for comfort, no fear or panic, etc- but it still hurt. I'm not trying to scare you, but I do think that women need to have a realistic view of what childbirth often entails whether at hospital or home. This time I am trying to prepare my mind to expect the worst- BUT to embrace the pain as I welcome our long awaited child into the world and focus on the amazing feeling I had once my last child was in my arms- all the pain forgotten in that one instant.

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Alex 8 Gabby 6 (Homeborn!) Gideon 2.... chickens, ducks, cats and a dog
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#23 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 05:41 PM
 
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I loved my two homebirths and I'm planning a third. My first birth was long and difficult, his big old 15 inch head was coming out at an angle but I'm so glad I was at home with an awesome midwife. My cousin just had a very similar experience, long labor, 15 inch head- only she was in a hospital under the care of an OB and it all ended with a c-section. I know that if I had been in a hospital I would have definitely had a c-section. Instead I had one of the most empowering experiences of my life. The feeling you get after such an intense, long labor is sort of like reaching the top of a mountain. My husband I never felt closer to each other. He had a lot of reservations about homebirth but after that he was a complete advocate.
Or second was much faster and easier, fun even! Enough so that we are having one more in April!
I love homebirth- I'm a big believer in the power of being comfortable and relaxed in labor and I'm most comfortable at home.
I had to go to the hospital while in labor with my second and my labor almost completely stalled out, I returned home and went from a 5 to a 10 and had her in an hour.
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#24 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 06:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you ALL for your stories!!!! This is really a great post and I believe its very helpful for me. Its the fear of the unknown for me I guess. I know I can do this! : Thanks a ton!!!!!!!!
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#25 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 06:06 PM
 
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i have had a hospital induction turned c-sec for my first, and a homebirt for my second.
if i ever have any more kids they will be birthed at home as well. t was an amazing experience i would love to have again

treehugger.gif )O( unschooling, witchy mum to Addy(7) and Niamh(4)
Living with an invisible chronic illness.
Fat and hairy. And happy with both *( o Y o )*
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#26 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 06:36 PM
 
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I've had one homebirth. Everything went pretty well. I was worried too during pregnancy, but then once I was in labor, I stopped worrying about all the what-ifs and just concentrated on getting the baby out. The pushing for me was a little traumatic, and I hemmorhaged (just like I thought I would), but my very competent mws were able to get it under control quickly.

I will definitely birth at home (unless there's an emergency) for all the future babies.

Wife to J. Mama to DD(3yo) & DS(1yo)
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#27 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 07:42 PM
 
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my 1st (and only so far) was a homebirth. it was wonderful. i am pg. w/ #2 and will homebirth again, no question.
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#28 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 08:51 PM
 
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Homebirth rocks. I could not imagine doing it any other way. I had my first as homebirth and plan on doing all other birthings at home too.

Livin' surf.gif Laughin' lol.gif Lovin' joy.gif - Just Me and Sammers, my homebirthin' little girl. 

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#29 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 09:00 PM
 
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two homebirths and two hospital births under my belt. I would NEVER birth in the hospital unless circumstances forced me to as they did with my third birth to preemie twins. My first birth I couldn't find a midwife to help me at home. Second and fourth births were at home and they were hard, odd, painful, but still awesome and better by leaps and bounds than the hosp. births.
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#30 of 93 Old 11-15-2008, 09:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Munki'sMom View Post
Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?

We are having our 1st HB in 3 weeks (yikes!) and I'm really nervous. My hubby always says "I have never met someone who had a HB that would not do it again, so it must have been fine/awesome".

Is this true?

Any words of wisdom for me? How can I control my nerves? What if I get into this and it is horrible?
The only reason I'd ever consider a hospital birth is if I or the baby had a specific medical condition that would make a homebirth unsafe for one or both of us.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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