4 Days Till Repeat C-Section and HORRIFIED! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 03:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not sure where else to post about this, so sorry if it's not really appropriate!

I am sitting here, almost 2am, and can't sleep because I am so completely consumed by terror over the fact that I am being coerced into having a 3rd c-section on Thursday. I live in a really conservative area of PA, and tried for months to find someone who would be willing to support a VBAC. The only practice of midwives near me wouldn't take me because they felt like I was likely to need another c-section. I did have my first child vaginally, but she only weighed 6 pounds. My two sons after that (different dad) ended in c-section due to being in labor and both babies "refusing" to descend, then having dropping heart rates with contractions. They both weighed nearly 9 pounds, and since I'm having another boy, the midwives felt like I was unable to give birth naturally to babies this size, and that my current baby is likely to be similar in size. They were somewhat encouraging, however, and directed me to a practice that had both doctors and midwives.

After seeing the midwives at this other practice, I still received no encouragement - every single one recommended a repeat c-section. And of course all the doctors suggested I would be crazy to even consider a VBAC. Everyone says I'm endangering the baby if I refuse a repeat c-section. So I caved. I'm scheduled for Thursday.

So now, like I said, I am just horrified. It was bad enough having this procedure when I was in labor, but at least I felt like I had TRIED to have natural births. And it seemed necessary at the time, with the babies' heart rates dropping. But now I feel like I am going in to be mutilated. I am so scared that the baby is going to die, or I am going to die, or they'll cut my bladder or the baby's face. I'm so...freaking...scared.

I don't know what I'm asking for here. Encouragement? Some kind of insight? Someone to tell me what I should do? I honestly don't know. I don't know who to talk to about this, because every single midwife I've talked to has refused to support me. I just wanted to get this out and see if anyone has had a similar experience, maybe backed out of surgery at the last minute? I don't want to endanger the baby by going into labor and then having a c-section anyway, which is what all the midwives seem to believe is going to happen. But god. I don't want to be cut into and go through this terrible experience again for no reason either. Or die and leave my kids with no mother. It's so sad that there is so much contradictory information and so few professionals (in some areas, at least) who even consider this surgery a "big deal." I just don't know what to do.
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#2 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 03:20 AM
 
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have you contacted ICAN? are you willing to travel to attempt a vbac? is that something you would be interested in?

if not, is there a reason they are having you schedule - can't you at least go into labor on your own, and know that the baby is ready to be born that day, go through a little bit of labor? there is no reason that going into labor would be dangerous for you.

I'm sorry you're scared, mama

Christine, mom to C(7.5) - E(5) - J(3) - B(10 mos)

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#3 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 03:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LaughinWillow View Post
I'm not sure where else to post about this, so sorry if it's not really appropriate!

I am sitting here, almost 2am, and can't sleep because I am so completely consumed by terror over the fact that I am being coerced into having a 3rd c-section on Thursday. I live in a really conservative area of PA, and tried for months to find someone who would be willing to support a VBAC. The only practice of midwives near me wouldn't take me because they felt like I was likely to need another c-section. I did have my first child vaginally, but she only weighed 6 pounds. My two sons after that (different dad) ended in c-section due to being in labor and both babies "refusing" to descend, then having dropping heart rates with contractions. They both weighed nearly 9 pounds, and since I'm having another boy, the midwives felt like I was unable to give birth naturally to babies this size, and that my current baby is likely to be similar in size. They were somewhat encouraging, however, and directed me to a practice that had both doctors and midwives.

After seeing the midwives at this other practice, I still received no encouragement - every single one recommended a repeat c-section. And of course all the doctors suggested I would be crazy to even consider a VBAC. Everyone says I'm endangering the baby if I refuse a repeat c-section. So I caved. I'm scheduled for Thursday.

So now, like I said, I am just horrified. It was bad enough having this procedure when I was in labor, but at least I felt like I had TRIED to have natural births. And it seemed necessary at the time, with the babies' heart rates dropping. But now I feel like I am going in to be mutilated. I am so scared that the baby is going to die, or I am going to die, or they'll cut my bladder or the baby's face. I'm so...freaking...scared.

I don't know what I'm asking for here. Encouragement? Some kind of insight? Someone to tell me what I should do? I honestly don't know. I don't know who to talk to about this, because every single midwife I've talked to has refused to support me. I just wanted to get this out and see if anyone has had a similar experience, maybe backed out of surgery at the last minute? I don't want to endanger the baby by going into labor and then having a c-section anyway, which is what all the midwives seem to believe is going to happen. But god. I don't want to be cut into and go through this terrible experience again for no reason either. Or die and leave my kids with no mother. It's so sad that there is so much contradictory information and so few professionals (in some areas, at least) who even consider this surgery a "big deal." I just don't know what to do.
I'm sorry you are so scared and that you live in such a conservative place. Only you can decide what to do. I will say that I've read a lot of evidence that in general c-sections are a lot safer for baby when performed after the onset of labor not the other way around. Even if you decide to go through with the surgical birth, you might consider letting your baby choose when he is ready to be born. While I wont say that you should change your plans and have a vaginal birth (because I don't know your situation and couldn't begin to tell you what risks are resonable for your personal values) I will support you in whatever you decide. Follow your heart :

Laura

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#4 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 04:01 AM
 
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That just sounds so incredibly stressful, and I wanted to offer you some support, although I don't have first hand experience with this. I just know how hard it is when you feel so stressed out by having to make a hard decision that flies in the face of what everyone is telling you. There is a comfort in going along with what the majority point of view seems to be, because you are put in a place of having to defend yourself or even being ridiculed, not treated respectfully. But then when you feel like your very well being is at stake, it's like being pulled in two directions.

I don't really know what you should do in relation to the surgery other than take it one day at a time and see how you feel on Thursday.

How many weeks will you be by Thursday? Can you communicate your fears with your midwives? I don't think your fears are completely unfounded. My niece had scheduled c-sections with her second two children after her first was an emergency situation, and the subsequent two children ended up with persistent pulmonary hypertension that was serious enough that they had to be airlifted, and one ended up on ECMO. From what I've read, C-section does increase the risk of this, although in my niece's case, there were a lot of other risks factors. Still, they can't say there are no risk factors, and maybe they can give you specific numbers that balance the trial of labor vs. the scheduled surgery options.
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#5 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 11:52 AM
 
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Sweetie, this is your body and your baby, and your life. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

I view it like this: a strange man comes up to me and wants to have sex with me. I say "no, of course not, I have a man who I am with and in love with". The strange man says "yes, but these people I have with me think you should do it. Everyone else is. If you don't, you're not playing the game properly and you are going to disappoint people"

I would say an emphatic "Absolutely not!" in that situation - someone is trying to take advantage of me! In a cesarean, your body is not your own. In that situation it would not be either. Would you say yes if it were not a doctor offering you the cesarean, but a gardener? The same bad feeling applies either way - it will apply wherever you say "yes, take my body" when you mean "no, get away from my body".

If I were in you shoes, I would cancel the cesarean. They will ask you why. You tell them the truth. Relax...let nature take it's course...let yourself go into labor naturally and then, you could labor in the hospital car park until you feel it's time to go inside. That is what I plan to do. My body is my own - nobody else has a right over it. Nobody owns my body. Nobody owns yours.

This isn't like a debt you have to pay. Not consenting to this surgery right off the bat is not like an unpaid bill on your shoulder. Free yourself. Just a little bit. You will end up with a whole heck of a lot more respect for yourself afterward if you just don't let yourself be coerced like this.

That is my two cents worth anyway. I know I wouldn't want to ever have another cesarean and I know that circumstances surrounding birth can make a straightforward birth into an emergency situation. This pregnancy, I will certainly try for a VBAC, no matter what anyone says. You might be further along than me, but you sound like you're in the same boat.

*HUGE hugs* XXX

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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#6 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 01:12 PM
 
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You need to contact ICAN. you'd be amazed at the resources available to you. You need to get people around you that support and trust that you can give birth. YOU CAN!!!! You've done it before. You can do it again.

Just b/c two of your babies were big (and, they aren't big by my standards) doesn't mean that this one will be. U/S can be up to 2 pounds off in either direction. My last baby was vba2c, 10#8oz. NO ONE thought I'd have a baby that big. Gender ahs nothing to do with size - my biggest baby was my little girl!

Wait for labor if that's what you want to do. and when it starts be upright as much as humanly possible and DON'T LIE DOWN. walk walk walk and walk some more. let gravity do the work of getting that baby into position.

go to spinningbabies.com for info on optimal fetal positioning. It will help get that baby in position to be born.

You are the one in power. If you don't want a section, then don't show up. how close to your due date are you? are you at 42 weeks yet? if not, you have time to wait. you're not truly late till 42 weeks.

If you do go into labor and YOU decide that you need a c/s, you will know that you did everything you could to avoid it. Your baby will have chosen when he wanted to be born and will get the benefit of the labor hormones.

Hugs.

Stinkerton 12/10/01 9lbs8oz, induced to c/s; Little Man 5/20/03 7lbs11oz, r c/s, fear of another labor; Jillybean 11/18/07 10lbs8oz 37cm head, induced VBA2C; and the Wee Beastie, 9lbs8oz, 35cm head, rpt VBA2C
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#7 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 01:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for the support! I'm really leaning toward cancelling the c-section at this point... I'm feeling even worse about it right now, because I talked to the anesthesia people this morning, and was expressing my concerns to the nurse - she was all cheerful about it, and ended up saying, "Well, we deliver about 5,000 babies each year here, and 30% of those are by c-section, so you have nothing to worry about! We're experts!" In this really cheery voice. At which point I realized that I had never even asked about their c-section rate - THIRTY PERCENT??? So now I am extremely concerned that these people are NEVER supportive of a VBAC, and are probably doing a bunch of elective c-sections as well. I feel so stupid for neglecting to ask about their c-section rate before getting my care with these people. Argh.
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#8 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 01:51 PM
 
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I'm just at the beginning of my search for a supportive care provider but it promises to be tough to find someone willing to do my VBAC too. I hope I have better luck than you, but I wanted to encourage you not to submit to anything you don't believe.

My thought on the subject is that cesareans are emergency surgery. They should be used in emergencies, and if you have an emergency, the cesarean option will be there.

On the other hand, the risks of the cesarean are not very high, and it seems to me that your fears are based on your having been coerced. Try to find peace, and find a way to make this birth yours whether you have a cesarean or vaginal birth. I like pp's suggestions of going into labor rather than scheduling. And remember that you'll soon be holding your baby in your arms. That's the only reason I'm willing to get pregnant and risk another cesarean!

Diana, homebirthing, homeschooling, homemaking wife and mother of two (plus one more coming this Spring)!
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#9 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 03:20 PM
 
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#10 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 07:33 PM
 
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RUN AWAY FROM THIS OB PRACTICE!!!

Can you contact ICAN or Google to see what birthing centers/midwives are in your area? Call them all and ask for help. Do not show up for the scheduled c/s. Just call and cancel.

It's not too late to change your mind until AFTER the baby is born. There is still time. You can do it! Good luck.

And at the very least, if you can't find a midwife this late in the game, stay at home as long as possible and show up crowning!
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#11 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 08:21 PM
 
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Up until the birth it is never to late to change. I have a friend that lives in PA and had a HBA2C. Do whatever you can to avoid regret.

Annabelle Catholic wife to Jeff '92 and mom to Makaley 19 Arden 19 Anniston 17 Taegan 14 Balen 12 Kellen 10 Ellery 8 Innish 6 Eiley 4 Finnian 3 Esca 2 our 8th uc.jpghomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgIHhbac.gifbftoddler.gifvbac.gifand expecting sweet pea January 2014.

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#12 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 08:33 PM
 
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What an incredibly stressful situation. I feel for you so much right now reading this post. Cancel the c section and find somewhere else to have your baby if you can. I feel reluctant to even respond because I know you are in such a last minute state but I really want to offer support for you to TRY to find a different practice- even if it is in a different city or whatever you can do, to give yourself the chance to do what you want to and need to do. IT is not too late!

I had so many dental nightmarish surgeries that I regret and I WISH I had backed out last minute. I know it is so different, but I can relate to that feeling trapped in a decision and thinking it was too late to change but then later seeing that I could have said no up to the last minute. At the end of the day it is your body only and your life so I just wish you support and hope you are able to get what you need, and to not let the hospital you are dealing with make you do something you know you don't want to do.

I hope you find someone IRL to assist you- contact that organization those others recommended. May love and peace and all the power of the goddesses walk with you in whatever you do, either way. May you be safe and healthy and blessed.
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#13 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 08:38 PM
 
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It's not too late to change your mind until AFTER the baby is born. There is still time. You can do it! Good luck. !

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
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#14 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 08:52 PM
 
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I don't know what I'm asking for here. Encouragement? Some kind of insight? Someone to tell me what I should do? I honestly don't know. I don't know who to talk to about this, because every single midwife I've talked to has refused to support me. I just wanted to get this out and see if anyone has had a similar experience, maybe backed out of surgery at the last minute? I don't want to endanger the baby by going into labor and then having a c-section anyway, which is what all the midwives seem to believe is going to happen. But god. I don't want to be cut into and go through this terrible experience again for no reason either. Or die and leave my kids with no mother. It's so sad that there is so much contradictory information and so few professionals (in some areas, at least) who even consider this surgery a "big deal." I just don't know what to do. [/QUOTE]

First, labor is good for babies. Even if I needed a cesarean I would not schedule it. I would go in once labor had begun on its own. Next, I know a number of PA midwives. PM me your area and tell me who you talked to. If you are open to homebirth, there are probably midwives who would serve you esp. given that you DID birth vaginally once. Mama, follow your heart. Make this decision for YOU and for your baby. Don't allow others to tell you what is in your heart. If you feel this is not the path, then don't walk down it.
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#15 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 08:54 PM
 
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On the other hand, the risks of the cesarean are not very high, and it seems to me that your fears are based on your having been coerced.



I have to disagree. The risks to the mother go up with each successive surgery. A third surgery is not something to take lightly.
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#16 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 08:59 PM
 
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Where is PA are you?? I am in PA in an area where the climate for natural birth is BAD, but I am planning a hb. I know my hb mw attends home VBACs. There are options for you.

Beth

Beth wife to Tom and mommy to Therese 11/4/04 Anna Mary 6/15/07 and Veronica 10/20/09
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#17 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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First, labor is good for babies. Even if I needed a cesarean I would not schedule it. I would go in once labor had begun on its own. Next, I know a number of PA midwives. PM me your area and tell me who you talked to. If you are open to homebirth, there are probably midwives who would serve you esp. given that you DID birth vaginally once. Mama, follow your heart. Make this decision for YOU and for your baby. Don't allow others to tell you what is in your heart. If you feel this is not the path, then don't walk down it.
i could not agree with this more. as a mom who had 2 c/s's and then a vbac..and THEN was shunned by every local MW in at least 2 states, i will tell you that 99% of the time, you can find someone...if you are willing to look hard enough. It was a struggle..and if anything would have happened, our MW would have disappeared (not b/c she wanted to, but b/c it wasnt legal for her to be at teh birth of my son...so i would have made her disappear)....if you can take 100% responsibility for your birth, you can more than likely find someone.

good luck. i HATE that women are put in this situation.

feel free to pm me if you need to talk to someone who has def. btdt.
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#18 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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Thank you all for the support! I'm really leaning toward cancelling the c-section at this point... I'm feeling even worse about it right now, because I talked to the anesthesia people this morning, and was expressing my concerns to the nurse - she was all cheerful about it, and ended up saying, "Well, we deliver about 5,000 babies each year here, and 30% of those are by c-section, so you have nothing to worry about! We're experts!" In this really cheery voice. At which point I realized that I had never even asked about their c-section rate - THIRTY PERCENT??? So now I am extremely concerned that these people are NEVER supportive of a VBAC, and are probably doing a bunch of elective c-sections as well. I feel so stupid for neglecting to ask about their c-section rate before getting my care with these people. Argh.
Your intution is leading you. Listen to it. Do you know what kind of incisions you had? Both internally (which can be different than the external incision) and externally? That is very important to determine the safety of having a VBAC. Most likely you have the low-tranverse cut for both, which is good. Double check on that quickly, and let the mamas here help you find a way. You can do it, mama!

(I've had 3 "VBACs")
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#19 of 54 Old 05-18-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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The fear that you are describing is what I felt as I went in for c-section #2, I just *knew* I shouldn't do it. I've had 4 c-sections and am planning another in Sept., that is the *only* one I regret, because my gut told me "no" and I allowed it anyway. I believe that was a very poor choice looking back.

I hope you can talk it over with someone at this practice and at least attempt a hospital VBAC with them.

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#20 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 03:04 AM
 
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I can't see anything in your posts that necessitates scheduling a c-section. Scheduling, in most cases (there are exceptions), is about the convenience of the hospital/OB, not about that being the best way to have your baby.

I'm having my fifth section at the end of June. I know what you mean about your mental state and the fear. It's been a huge weight on my mind. I'm not going to get into my whole story here, but there are basically two reasons I've scheduled. The first is that it was the deal I made with dh when we decided to ttc again. The second is that they finally broke me. I don't have what it takes to fight, anymore. I just don't.

That said...I let myself be pushed into scheduling with dd (my second). I was going to VBAC, until they found her in a footling breech position at 39 weeks. The OB said she "couldn't" turn. I knew that wasn't true. I let him push me into a repeat section, anyway. I understand my reasons for allowing it, but it still makes me angry (and dd turned six last weekend) that he pushed me...and that I caved. DD wasn't ready to be here. Among other things, she had breathing problems...nothing that required NICU, but still scary as heck to us as her parents. When we mentioned it to a night nurse, she said, "oh, that kind of thing is common with scheduled cesareans". I realize your babies heart rates have dropped in labour, and maybe it is necessary for you to have a section again (maybe not)...but that doesn't mean there is any advantage to you, or your baby, in having that section without labour. Everything I've read suggests that the opposite is true.

I'd cancel. If nothing else, you can show up in labour, and still have the section...and give your baby the benefit of picking its own birth day.


I'm sorry you're in this situation and sorry that nobody seems to get that it's a big deal. Our stories are very different, but I've BTDT for that part of it, and it's awful.

Good luck. I know how hard it is when none of your options seem acceptable.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#21 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 08:48 AM
 
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I disagree with Stormbride. An elective, planned section is generally safer than going into labour then needing an emergency section. Yes, labour is good for babies but probably not if you have a high risk of needing an emergency section.

What are the reasons the drs/midwives are giving you for not allowing a vbac?
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#22 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 08:51 AM
 
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Where in PA do you live? If you are near Pgh, I know of a good OB, supports VBACs and a CNM who is trustworthy and would be totally honest with you about your situation. I will be offline until about 4pm, so if you are interested inthe info, PM me and I will send it at that point.


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#23 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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I disagree with Stormbride. An elective, planned section is generally safer than going into labour then needing an emergency section.
I never said it wasn't. I said that labour is better than scheduling before labour. If you're going to have a section, anyway (which I'm not sure of from the OP), there is nothing in the OP that suggests there's any particular risk in waiting until labour starts, then going to the hospital and telling them "I've had two c-sections and I'm in labour and need a repeat". There's are options other than scheduling before labour or an emergency. Medpros just tend to overlook them.

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#24 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 01:32 PM
 
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What you do is up to you. You can VBAC at home or even the hospital parking lot (), wait until you are in transition to go to the hospital so hopefully they won't have time to force a section, you can outright refuse a section (and the more people behind you to back you up with a big fat "I DO NOT CONSENT" the better), you can try to induce naturally to better avoid a "big" baby and then do any of the above, etc.. there are many options, as (idiotically) controversial as some may be. Someone said contact ICAN - I second this, and do it ASAP!

One thing that I think would be key to my decision if I were in your situation is your position during labour with your boys (and secondly would be any use of epidural, pit, etc., if you were being monitored by an EFM which are often wrong, how long they "allowed" before suggesting a section, exactly what the decels were, etc.). I do think your position would be one of the biggest, if not the biggest, keys to deciding what to do. Were you on your back? That position is notorious for "failure to progress" or move down the canal, for iffy heart rates in babes, etc. If they had you on your back, I would strongly consider labouring again but walking, squatting, all fours, etc. Getting off your back can really make all the difference. Even if you have to fight for whatever birth you choose. Just make sure you have as many people as possible around to back it up and keep the term "I do not consent" in your mind as best you can.

Good luck, mama! Whatever the end choice and outcome. whatever you do, you are AMAZING for caring this much about what's best for your baby, even if others seem to think you're crazy for not consenting to a "simple, easy" surgery.

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#25 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you're facing this situation. And I hope you can find balance and a sense of positive choice.

I agree that your local ICAN group (or the national forums) may be helpful, the warm line peer support provided by phone through SOLACE may help too.

Since the reason given for your scheduled section is "a vbac probably wouldn't work" I don't think you'd be out of line requesting that the c/s not happen until labor has begin. Unless there is a specific health concern then early labor shouldn't be out of the question even if you and your providers agree that a c/s is the better choice. Also visit the links on the MDC Natural Family Living Cesarean Resource thread for ideas on how you can shape a surgical birth to be more supportive of you and the babe. Websites like Cesarean Voices have ideas too... it's possible that some of your distress may be resolved by having more of a say in the process? Bring a list of "what needs to happen" items and meet with your care providers or the hospital staff. They can say "no" but you can also say "no" and simply cancel the c/s or show up in early labor if you decide on a c/s (there or at another hospital).

I do know one woman who labored in a minivan (with the seats removed) in the hospital parking lot so she had the option of laboring or walking in for a rc/s. It's not a great option, but it may be an option...

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#26 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 05:01 PM
 
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I never said it wasn't. I said that labour is better than scheduling before labour. If you're going to have a section, anyway (which I'm not sure of from the OP), there is nothing in the OP that suggests there's any particular risk in waiting until labour starts, then going to the hospital and telling them "I've had two c-sections and I'm in labour and need a repeat". There's are options other than scheduling before labour or an emergency. Medpros just tend to overlook them.
The problem with going into labour first is that it's hard work, it tires you and can make recovery from a section tougher. If you're at peace with a section then an elective is usually better.

To the OP, I hope things work out well for you and your baby. A section may not be your preferred method of birth but it can still be a positive experience.
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#27 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 05:07 PM
 
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I know how you feel
I'm sorry your so worried
I had one section after failed 30 hr+ labor and then a second one which was an attempt at a vbac. So baby number 3, I am told I will have to have a section no attempt at labor. Good thing is, I found anyway, that I healed faster the second go around and it was way less painful after than the first one. So I wonder if the third is also easier than the first, hopefully easier than the second if possible. It's not a fun experience but atleast having 2 babies already you know the joy that comes after and that the healing process and the surgery process is just a blink in time compared to years with your new loved child. I would also get so scared of dying and think the worse when I was pregnant, and thinking about sections, I think it's a common fear. Try not and stress too too much and just take it as it comes I guess. Good luck with it all. If you get to have a vbac I hope it works the way you are hoping.
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#28 of 54 Old 05-19-2009, 08:16 PM
 
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The problem with going into labour first is that it's hard work, it tires you and can make recovery from a section tougher. If you're at peace with a section then an elective is usually better.
The OP's not okay with a section, though.

I'm obviously talking from my own experience, and that doesn't necessarily apply to the OP. However, my one labour-free c-section was the most miserable "birth" experience I've ever had, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Going into labour the night before my section with ds2 was scheduled was a lifesaver...it did so much for my morale. I also wasn't any more tired than with dd. Mind you, if you're not okay with a section, and end up staying awake all night before your surgery, you're going to be pretty wiped out. I find the emotional side of checking into the hospital to have my baby at a certain time far more exhausting than a few hours of labour. (Of course, if the OP is concerned at all about precipitous labour, the picture changes.)

ETA: I just re-read the OP, and she seems to feel the same way I do about an elective, labour-free section. If she does, then it's not the best choice, in any way, shape or form. It's absolutely horrible. Obviously, different people see it differently, but some of her comments about it reflect my feelings/thinking so exactly that I suspect she's quite a bit like me on this front. And, for me, a c-section will never be a positive experience. It's horrific on every possible level. I had a choice between not having another baby and having a c-section. The c-section is the lesser of two evils, and that's about all I can say in its favour.

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#29 of 54 Old 05-20-2009, 02:05 AM
 
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I have a friend that wanted a VBAC and can not for medical reasons. You can have an empowering c-section birth, but I think that really requires working with a doula and preparing mentally for it.

If that is your route, start calling some doulas. Some may give you a discount since they will be helping you at a scheduled time and the prenatal time is minimal. I would definitely have a doula if you were going to attempt coming into the hospital crowning as well.

I am sorry you are going through this. It is beyond awful that our medical system sometimes does not give us the choice to attempt labor. Argh.

I hope you can find a way to make peace with this.

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#30 of 54 Old 05-20-2009, 03:43 AM
 
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The problem with going into labour first is that it's hard work, it tires you and can make recovery from a section tougher. If you're at peace with a section then an elective is usually better.
Cesareans after the onset of labor really are better for mom and baby. I think you would be interested in the work of Dr. Sarah Buckley and the hormones of labor, birth and beyond and what impact scheduled cesareans have on them and the risks that are increased from cesareans prior to labor. You might also want to do a search for reputable medical journal articles on the subect. I think you'll find that the facts are clear.

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