I am not sure exactly what I am feeling except to say I just broke down in tears to DH after doing my AM fasting check. I am 36 weeks & up until a few weeks ago, I wasn't having any problems with any of my #s. The past couple weeks it has gotten harder & harder to keep things in check-more so the AM fasting. This AMs was 104...the past few days were 92, 95, 98, 100...last weeks #s were my worst so far & my OB said she wasn't looking to put me on insulin but was concerned they were climbing & that I need to get them in check. I also admitted that new years weekend was a free for all...we were entertaining guests for a few nights & I ate whatever I wanted. So there is an explanation for the bad #s. But now I am back on track & bringing them back down-but they still don't look that great.
I went for an EFW U/S a week ago & the baby was showing in the 42% which even factoring in a 2lb error, seems to prove I am not carrying a huge baby this time around. I am not on insulin yet, but have stayed on my metformin this pregnancy so technically-I am considered risk of some sort.
I am stressing over how honest to be with reporting the #s this week to try & buy myself another week. I go back & forth between wondering how bad it is to be 5-10 points over, what it does to my baby vs the dangers & implications of insulin.
And then I start to get teary eyed all over again...hating having to deal with this, starting to feel the anxiety of it all, the wondering how things will go over the next few weeks...if I will get a chance to labor or if the GD will end up controlling things for me...
Plus we still can't decide if I do go into labor-how long to labor at home with our doula, when to head up to the hospital (an hour away), whether to go ahead with laboring at the hotel or if that is going to be more of a hassle...all the talk about laboring at home for as long as possible with VBACs yet the perceived increase risk of VBACs & needing to be monitored...
I guess I am feeling overwhelmed. I probably sound crazy. I don't understand why I am so emotional today.
I went for an EFW U/S a week ago & the baby was showing in the 42% which even factoring in a 2lb error, seems to prove I am not carrying a huge baby this time around. I am not on insulin yet, but have stayed on my metformin this pregnancy so technically-I am considered risk of some sort.
I am stressing over how honest to be with reporting the #s this week to try & buy myself another week. I go back & forth between wondering how bad it is to be 5-10 points over, what it does to my baby vs the dangers & implications of insulin.
And then I start to get teary eyed all over again...hating having to deal with this, starting to feel the anxiety of it all, the wondering how things will go over the next few weeks...if I will get a chance to labor or if the GD will end up controlling things for me...
Plus we still can't decide if I do go into labor-how long to labor at home with our doula, when to head up to the hospital (an hour away), whether to go ahead with laboring at the hotel or if that is going to be more of a hassle...all the talk about laboring at home for as long as possible with VBACs yet the perceived increase risk of VBACs & needing to be monitored...
I guess I am feeling overwhelmed. I probably sound crazy. I don't understand why I am so emotional today.