Advice needed for a friend - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-31-2010, 08:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi i am seeking advice for a mother in my sons class. She is pregnant with #2 her first child is 7 with whom she had a csection because of fever dyring labor she was told baby couldnt be delivered vaginally. Mom is about 29yrs old n doesnt hav any health problems that im aware of. Her Dr does not perform vbac anymore and has her scheduled for anthr section feb 25. Btw i beleive she is almost at term aprox 35-36weeeks. Mom does not want a section n says she is just gna stay home til its late n then go to the hospital. I want to give her some good advice but dont hav any knowledge of vbac.
What i do knw is options in our area are bad and i dont knw if she should stay at hsptl with her dr and just stay home til its too late. Or wait til shes in labor n go to hsptl where i hav delivered n mostly midwives do deliveries but i cant exactly say is birth friendly because the midwives and drs work alongside each other. Or will her situation not b looked as simply a mom ready to deliver but a complication n handed over to one of the drs anyway

Thank for your responses

 hijab.gif married to DH  mom to 3 boys, 1 girl
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#2 of 4 Old 01-31-2010, 12:33 PM
 
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If you can let me know approximately where you are (I assume you are asking about NJ), I can try to send some suggestions. Also - if you ask in the NJ forum, there are quite a few NJ women who have had VBACs.

Yes, your friend can try to show up at the last minute but hospitals/doctors that deny VBACs are very adamant about it. If she thinks she is ready to push but she turns out to be 7cm upon arrival, they may pressure her into a c-section. She has ever right to refuse surgery but she risks getting the staff really mad and giving her a hard time. If she threatens to leave, they may tell her that she will be leaving AMA and then insurance won't pay which then puts her in a bind.

As a last option, I would suggest that but there are VBAC options in NJ if she is willing to make the switch. They might not be around the corner (I traveled an hour) but they are available. Unfortunately, many women are a little too attached to their OBs to think about leaving them. I tend to think that if she really wanted a VBAC, she would have looked into this a little further so it's entirely possible that she isn't willing to actually fight for one but it would be pretty cool it is just "happened."

Proud mommy 9/2004 ribboncesarean.gif , 11/2007 vbac.gif, 2/2011 ribboncesarean.gif
ICAN of New Jersey --> find 2010 NJ hospital birth stats here!

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#3 of 4 Old 01-31-2010, 08:35 PM
 
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You can always tell your friend it's not too late to switch caregivers. Also, tell her that you are willing to go with her to interviews of MW/OBs in the area.

Tell her to hire a Doula or a Montrice. If you hire a Montrice, then they will be able to do monitoring and vaginal exams in labor while she is at home, so she is sure to get to the hospital fully dilated and really ready to push. A Montrice does all the same stuff as a Doula, just some medical stuff too.

They can't MAKE you her have a cs. It's surgery, you have to have informed consent. A Doula will help fight this system and thinking on arrival to the hospital. Also, A Doula will help her have a birth she wants regardless of how it turns out.
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#4 of 4 Old 02-01-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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Give her this website....tell her to come talk to us...ask us questions...we can encourage her, support her, and try to help in any way possible!

Like the others said, no one can make you have a surgery...if she stops by here, maybe we can try to help her out with her options!

And I agree, a DOULA is a HUGE help with a VBAC'ing mama!

Me (30), DH (31), DS (3.5 yrs - 5/07), DD (1.5 yr - 2/09) via VBAC!!! DS (newborn - 11/10) via natural VBAC! 2 angel babies - 06/06 & 04/08
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