Wanting VBA3C but we have twins on the way - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 06-12-2010, 10:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
marquess78's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well, the title says it all really.

i am 14 weeks pregnant with fraternal twins. doc has always been great about vbac and realistic with me about it as well. i have persistantly posterior babies and end up with a really long and painful labors with no progress and eventually a c/s cuz i end up stuck in bed with IVs and monitors, blah blah.

anyway. like i said my ob has always been great but when he mentioned the epidural and i was about to say no he said, "well you will have to have one since it'll be a c/s this time. you ARE ok with scheduling right?"

of course i am not ok with scheduling. ive never been ok with it. he knows that i will do whatever i want, but i want him on board. i shouldnt have to fight for something as natural as having my babies.

im putting together a letter to give him at my appt next week and i dont want to sound pushy or unreasonable and send him running in the other direction. he has told me he is bound by the rules and has to advise me to have the surgery and cannot publicly support me. personally he thinks its great that i am so educated about it and not willing to just be a sheep.

so what do i do? DH and i want whats best for our miracle babies(we tried for almost 8 yrs before finally getting pregnant via IVF). i dont want to fight but i dont want the c/s either.

switching care providers isnt an option. doing so would guarantee me the c/s. as it is i drive an hour to see this one. DH will not support a home birth (unless its accidental and cant be helped of course) and with 3 c/s under my belt the midwives in the area wont touch me either. i live in TN and i have contacted the Farm too. no love there either.

thanks
marquess78 is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 06-13-2010, 02:07 AM
 
cathicog's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Great Smoky Mountains TN
Posts: 1,581
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
i am 14 weeks pregnant with fraternal twins. doc has always been great about vbac and realistic with me about it as well. i have persistantly posterior babies and end up with a really long and painful labors with no progress and eventually a c/s cuz i end up stuck in bed with IVs and monitors, blah blah.
It's very likely that the reason you were subjected to surgery to begin with is because you were stuck in the bed, water broken, etc, and the babies couldn't turn around. Both my homebirths the babies were posterior, but we were home, so i got on hands and knees and other positions and both turned a 180 and were born a half hour later.

Quote:
anyway. like i said my ob has always been great but when he mentioned the epidural and i was about to say no he said, "well you will have to have one since it'll be a c/s this time. you ARE ok with scheduling right?"
If he is that great, why is he manipulating you into more surgery? And assuming you will just lay down and take it?

Quote:
of course i am not ok with scheduling. ive never been ok with it. he knows that i will do whatever i want, but i want him on board. i shouldnt have to fight for something as natural as having my babies.
But you WILL have to fight, because you are in America, and that is what American doctors(for the most part) are taught to do, and they tow the party line, or lose thier licenses...

Quote:
im putting together a letter to give him at my appt next week and i dont want to sound pushy or unreasonable and send him running in the other direction. he has told me he is bound by the rules and has to advise me to have the surgery and cannot publicly support me. personally he thinks its great that i am so educated about it and not willing to just be a sheep.
It's good that he is willing to work with you,but it sounds like he is only willing to work on HIS terms. You probably will end up with more surgery from him.
Quote:
so what do i do? DH and i want whats best for our miracle babies(we tried for almost 8 yrs before finally getting pregnant via IVF). i dont want to fight but i dont want the c/s either.
With surgery, either you or your baby/s could die. Without it, the same may or may not occur. Since it has been so long since your last surgery, you are probably very well healed up. Why not give your body the chance to labor and birth on its own?Statistically, the babies are better breathers if born vaginally.

Quote:
switching care providers isnt an option. doing so would guarantee me the c/s.
Switching care providers looks like it will be a necessity if you want to avoid future surgery. Staying with any OB will probably guarantee a spot in the OR.
Quote:
DH will not support a home birth (unless its accidental and cant be helped of course) and with 3 c/s under my belt the midwives in the area wont touch me either. i live in TN and i have contacted the Farm too. no love there either.
If your husband won't support a homebirth, then surgery is the only other option that' may be available to you(unless you UC...but I would rather have a midwife there. For twins, there's usually a midwife and assistant for each baby and mom). The Farm aren't the only midwives in Tennessee. ..Contact Tennessee Midwives Association (www.tnmidwives.org) and see who else is out there. How bad do you want to avoid surgery? Are the risks of vaginal birth better or worse than another surgery? Also, your local ICAN might be a great place to get some references. FWIW, twins born VBAC are very healthy, and if you google Twins after VBAC or something similar, you might find there's a lot of support for avoiding surgery. The moderator of About.com/Pregnancy and Childbirth had her twins at home. She was a VBAC....so it can be done.
cathicog is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 06-13-2010, 02:21 PM
 
writteninkursive's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Couldn't have said it better.

Keeping with the current doctor and with your husband's attitude, you WILL end up with another c/s. You need your DH on board, so start with him while researching other options.

Kaiti, in heartbeat.gif with Shane, astrological mama to spitdrink.gif Sophie *12.27.05*, praying.gif Maya *09.25.07*, sleepytime.gif Phoenix *08.23.09* & 3rdtri.gif due *12.04.11*  Having a hbac.gif waterbirth.jpg lotbirth.gif after 3 cesareans!

writteninkursive is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 06-14-2010, 10:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
marquess78's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i am looking at other options for care. and really, aside from the hangup on having our babies in our bed, DH is really awesome about the whole thing. he stod up for me when i was a surromom and my IP's and the doc on call were on my case about laboring thru the night and seeing what happened as opposed to just rolling over and getting the cut immediately.

so DH isnt a big issue. he will go with whatever i choose. do i think he will be strong enough to fight the system when i cant. yeah. im alittle afraid he might be too strong and get kicked out.

anyone vbac in nashville? im not giving up or anything. its alot to process. i really thought the doc who stood up for me when i was fighting last time would do the same this time.

so far the midwives i called are calling me too high risk after 3 c/s and now i am pg with twins. i could just go through all the motions and appts then when labor starts i could just not go in and deliver at home. whats hubs gonna do if i cant get to the car right? but thats kinda crappy of me to say.

anyway. thanks
marquess78 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off