However, I wanted a hospital birth, so there was no home birth vs hospital birth conversation at my house.
my husband is super supportive of anything i choose. however, i think he would try to convince me to go for a vbac if i DIDN'T want one. he's well-informed about pregnancy and birth and he believes that VBAC is the best option for all involved. i heart him .
He also has been supplied with information and believes that a VBAC will be safer for me and baby then a repeat c-section will be.
wife of 8 years to DH , mama to DD (2006) & DS (2011) (Dec. 2012) due Nov. 2013
Becky- Wife to DH, Mama to "Nani" (July '08) "Coco" (July '10) and Decker the Wrecker (May'13)
He's nervous I'll get sick again and that I'll be disappointed but there's nothing either of us can do about that.
DD 01/2007, DS 09/2011
Wife to DH 8/2003; Momma to DS 5/2007 ; DD 5/1/2010 !
He watched the Business of Being Born and saw how midwives worked in a home capacity and he was ok with it.
I toyed with the idea of going to the hospital for a VBAC this time (purely for financial reasons) and he HATED the idea. He actually pushed me to do it at home this time.
Wife to an amazing man , mommy to 3 wild dudes: ds1 (5/23/05 @ 30 weeks), ds2 (3/5/09) , and ds3 (9/26/10) . Part time librarian, full time mommy, occasional chef and maid.
Interestingly, my DH had his wisdom teeth out today...his first experience w/surgery & anesthesia. He had no idea what it would be like. It was a shock for him, even though I tried to explain what's it's like. I guess it's easy to recommend surgery when it's not your body being cut!
of course i wouldn't want to jeopardize my baby's health/safety either, but from all the research i've done, a natural homebirth is just as safe. our friend's baby had breathing problems at birth and he brings that up all the time as a what if.
problem is i'm freaked out by the clinicalness of the hospital and all the machines. while i'm confident in the midwife's ability and conviction to deliver my vbac, i'm not happy with the hospital's policy.
for one, hospitals make me tense right off the bat. today i found out that i'd have to have:
-IV, at least a hep-lock
-only clear fluids, no food
-continuous fetal monitoring and they don't have the telepathy versions, so you're virtual immobile
I'm not cool with any of these. my midwife doesn't necessarily advocate all of these either, but has to follow the hospital policy so she recommends i stay at home as long as possible. problem is my hubby is freaked out about staying home too long.
i do intend to stay home as long as possible, but afraid i'll totally stress and stall once i get to the hospital.
did any of you have to convince your hubby and if so, how did you do it?
But then last time we "talked" about it, he said that I need to just accept that I can't birth a baby vaginally. I just wasn't built for it, he says it like he knows it for a fact. Talk about heart-breaking! Talk about just plain mean! And totally ignorant!
In the end DH has bought into all the crap that my OB spouted about my "tight pelvic girdle." I now see that he has fantasy bonded with the OB and bought into all the crap about my "tight pelvic girdle."
I have decided to let time pass before I bring up VBAC again, to let the fantasy bond where off. I am still hopeful, though, that I can convince him when the time comes. I think that his resistance is based on fear, resentment, and some regrets about what led up to the c/s. I also think that he might think c/s are just easier. He hasn't been around a successful homebirth. All the ones we know about led to hospital transfers.
In the end, he doesn't know what a powerful and positive birthing experience can be like for me, for him, and for our marriage.
I posted about my struggles with DH here:
There are lots of helpful replies from others who have been in the same situation.
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