My daughter was born in March of 2009 via c-section after 33 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing. My OB and midwife (both of whom are extremely supportive natural birth) both agreed that it was time for a c-section. I'm sad that it happened, but I don't feel like I was robbed of a good birthing experience - I was just whalloped by the combination of sheer exhaustion (no sleep for 3 days) and a 9lb 13oz baby.
I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with baby #2, due 18 months after my daughter's birth.
I have already discussed VBAC with my OB, and he is 100% on board as long as I don't have another 10lb baby. He has been doing VBACs for decades, and I completely trust him. This baby is already looking to be a bit on the big side (76th percentile as of last Friday), but I spoke with my OB today and he said that on that growth curve, it'll still be fine.
Anyway, here's my problem: My husband is very opposed to me having a VBAC. Why? Well, after my c/s with my daughter, he spoke with a friend a couple days later who told him "Don't let her have one of those VBACs! My doctor talked me into one and I split wide open! I nearly bled to death!"
So, after that, he's convinced that I'm going to die if I attempt a VBAC. What he DOESN'T fully grasp is that her situation was far different from mine. She was induced, and more or less forced into the VBAC by a doctor who wanted to try it for the first time.
My situation is very different, in that I will be doing it with an OB who is highly trained and experienced.
Still, my husband is really holding his breath for another 10 lb baby. When I told him today that the baby's current size does not in any way disqualify me from having a safe VBAC, I could tell that he was unhappy.
I've made a point to show DH all the info I can get my hands on regarding why VBACs are safe, but he thinks that I'm just desperately clinging to crazy info from the internet (even if it's from ACOG's on site!) just because I'm obsessed with this.
Has anyone ever dealt with this? Has anyone here been able to calm their hubby's fears about VBAC?
On somewhat of a side note, just be aware that ultrasound measurements at term have a margin of error of 1-2# in either direction and that fetal size is not correlated with an increased risk of rupture. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable making a decision to have a rcs based on an ultrasound estimate of weight alone.
Fledgling midwife on hiatus, Wife to B, mama to C (c/s 12/04) and S (12/07), m/c (3/12) and expecting another bean 6/13 .
I am due in October and planning a VBAC myself. My midwife alleviated pretty much all of my husband's fears about the VBAC itself. He is still nervous/concerned in general, but not the freaking out kind of nervous anymore.
Just wanted to throw that out there as an option!
But I especially agree with discussing the fact that c-sections have risk with your husband as well. I feel like all too often women who do elective c-sections just feel like c-section is guarenteed perfect. And while c-sections are sometimes the safest and best way to go when the situation calls for it, elective c-sections just don't seem to be worth the risks!
I agree with the PPs about taking your DH to appt's with you. You might even want to give you doc a heads up that your husband has worries and is skeptical of the safety. Hopefully that solves the problem and you have a smooth VBAC.
Also, if your baby suddenly jumps a growth curve and turns into a moose (like both mine ) don't give up on VBAC. I really believe positioning is more important than size- DS (9lb 2 oz) came in 5-6 pushes, squatting on my knees leaning forward, in a birthing pool.
Momma to DD (12/04) and DS (11/09) .
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!
I would also agree with pp's comments about this not being 'dangerous vbac' vs. 'safe csection.' A mother's risk of dying from c-section is greater than her risk of dying from vaginal birth, even if it's a vbac. In general when you're looking at the stats - c-sections pose greater risks to mom, while VBACs pose (very slightly) greater risks to the baby. That was actually one of my reasons for choosing a vbac. I figured if I had to choose between my life and my unborn child's, I was going to choose my own life, because I already have a child I am responsible for and don't want to deprive her of life with a mother just so she can have a sibling. At her age she needs a mommy more than a sister. Obviously everything worked out and we are now a happy family of four. And fortunately cases of vbac or csection that result in maternal or fetal death are both extremely rare. But ALL births carry risks. There's just no way around it. Your DH should be aware that a VBAC involves less risk for YOU, no matter what your 'friend' has to say about it.
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