NEGATIVE**TRIGGERS**FAILED HBAC**UR at home*dont read unless you're sure - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 11:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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a few ppl pm'd wanting to know about my story but im having tech issues with pm's so i'll post on here, moderators feel free to remove etc

 

 

 

hello! congrats on the pregnancy :D

 

I warn you i will mention "pain" and stuff so if you're worried about triggers etc then please, delete this message before reading!

 

i'll try to cut it short (partly for my own sanity) and cut out a lot of grisly details

 

Firsty, take in to account adhesions, nobody told me this, but if you have a lot of adhesions or internal scarring from previous c sections (some ppl get both some ppl dont get either) that it can cause established labour to be excrutiating as the contrax pull apart the adhesions etc so be prepared to need pain relief. i had asked for a totally unmedicated labour and not planned for any pain so the HB midwives and doula resisted my screams for pain meds for quite a few hours, which they of course took as transition and kept saying the baby was gonna be here any second - she wasnt lol, i knew she wasnt too. eventually i had some gas and air, oh how i loved the gas and air. luckily my LO's heartrate stayed perfectly stable, but that along with her head blocking the "exit" (so no large volumes of blood could be seen) they didnt pick up on the rupture. it was only them finally doing an internal and realising my cervix was swelling and stuck at 7cm (though you could see her head and hair every time my body involuntarily pushed, bless her) and my constant insistance on going to the hospital that made them eventually call in the ambulance. walking to the ambulance may have been the most painful thing in existence but i was so darned pleased to be on my way. in the hospital it took about 40 minutes for the doctors to sedate me a bit with meptid (was screaming blue murder still) and do an internal, i then had an epidural and talked (and sobbed) over my options for about two hours. the pain was still there even with an epi so i *knew* something wasnt right (still felt really embarassed for all the yelling id done though) when i was having the surgery they realised i'd ruptured but my sweet girl was acting as a compress stemming the flow of blood with her hugeness (9lb 5oz) i had to be transfused etc and they had a job getting the placenta out, but while they were doing that, i was holding my naked wet little one on my face, she was sucking my lip and i'll remember that forever <3 also the hours of bissful labour i spent woodland walking in labour, or swimming in the birthpool with my ds (it was my birthday n we had cake in the pool lol)

 

I guess if you take anything from my story is that even when a rupture happens, you can survive, in my case (and in most cases of UR) it sort of "peels" gradually, rather than just tearing open suddenly. that there are signs and symptoms that give indication that something isnt right OTHER than the fetal heart rate and heavy blood loss as that doesnt always become apparent until the surgeons are in there. and you MUST listen to your body, trust your body to birth, you CAN do it, but there is no point in trusting your body if you dont trust it when it's telling you something is going wrong.

 

i really hope this msg hasnt upset you etc, but i kinda wish id read a negative story or two when i was preggo rather than just all the great successes, because it left me feeling a failure and in shock. prepare for every eventuality and im sure you'll be fine no matter what x 

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heartbeat.gifmy DH DS (5) angel1.gifx2... rainbow1284.gif DD 8th oct!! 9lb 5oz  Madison Akina-Mae - i wear her, feed her, co-sleep and hold her just about every minute of the day DS is my little scientist and the most loving person i ever did meet.  I'm lucky and I know it
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#2 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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by the way- this is her. worth the effort i think <3 http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=492580&l=ec59c32343&id=1699481908 


heartbeat.gifmy DH DS (5) angel1.gifx2... rainbow1284.gif DD 8th oct!! 9lb 5oz  Madison Akina-Mae - i wear her, feed her, co-sleep and hold her just about every minute of the day DS is my little scientist and the most loving person i ever did meet.  I'm lucky and I know it
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#3 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 11:50 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. In no way are you are failure. None of us have a magical power to predict what could happen during our labors/births. Thank you for taking the time to share your story.

Your daughter is adorable. love.gif


heartbeat.gif Mama to 5 busy bees (12, 9, 6, 3, 2) & 3 angel1.gif
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#4 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 11:51 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you had this experience, but I thank you for sharing.  I think this is one of the most useful stories I've read.  Thank you.

 

I spoke with Jane Evans a few years ago when she was in town for a conference, and she did suggest I have my adhesions looked at.  I hadn't heard of that before, and neither had anyone I mentioned it to.  I took her advice and saw a massage therapist (and continued on my own), looked up scar massage, and did accupuncture, as well as some homeopathy for the scar tissue (all before I got pregnant).  I did notice a huge difference in how it felt on the surface (though I know that doesn't necessarily say anything for what's under the surface).  I still do some scar massage.  After researching it, I really do wonder why it isn't promoted better or better known!  
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by corban's mum View Post

but there is no point in trusting your body if you dont trust it when it's telling you something is going wrong.

 

 


Can I quote you?  That's one of the best quotes I've seen in a long time!

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#5 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 01:22 PM
 
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I don´t think , you are a failure and you gave it a chance , so you could have succeeded just as well . And your story also shows , that even a rupture needn´t be the horrible , catastrophic event , some people like us to believe . 

And your baby really is absolutely adorable , so cute love.gif


vbac.gifafter 3 cs fambedsingle1.gifbfinfant.gifHappily single Momteapot2.GIFknit.gif

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#6 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 01:36 PM
 
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Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I think we NEED these kind of stories instead of all the glowing, rainbows and unicorns type thing. I don't think this thread should be removed and I will be upset if it is, because what censorship that would be! It is actually helpful to read this and know you and baby were okay! Were they able to repair your uterus??

 

Your dd is adorable, btw!!!!! :-)

 

I think it is important to trust your gut, just like you said. While my HBAC turned out okay, it wasn't exactly the picture of perfect I thought it would be, and I think we should be able to talk about both the good and bad. And to second the PP, you are NOT a failure!! Quite the opposite!

 

HUGS! And thanks for the info on the adhesions!


Mommy to beauties DS1 (7), DS2 (4, autism), & DS3 (2)

and many angel babies angel1.gif

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#7 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 01:43 PM
 
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yes, thank you so much for sharing your story.  She's a doll.  I love all of what you said about going with your instinct. 


ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
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#8 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 08:08 PM
 
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finally got access to the picture.  Your DD is beautiful!

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#9 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 08:40 PM
 
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I will be attempting a VBAC sometime in March and I find this story VERY helpful, so thank you for sharing.  I don't think it is something that should be removed.  And I do not think it is scary enought to cause negative triggers... yes, the situation is scary, but it is real and you have not told the story in an overly dramatic, scary way.  I think it is sooooo important that those of us attempting a VBAC know what to watch for in the event of a rupture.  Sure it would be nice to live in a fantasyland and believe all will be perfect, but I think it is more important for us to go into VBAC educated and aware of the things to watch for and understanding we need to be aware of following our own instincts.  Maybe our labor assistants will not pick up on some of the things we as mothers will be instinctive about.  Thank you for this post.  You are not a failure at all.  You got your baby here alive and you are also.  You made the right judgement call when it mattered from the way I see it.  Congratulations on your beautiful baby and your success!

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#10 of 20 Old 02-01-2011, 09:38 PM
 
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 Thank you for sharing your story. I just had a VBAC six weeks ago. I planned a HBAC and had to transfer, and almost had a repeat c/s but was able to VBAC in the hospital. I needed to transfer because my baby was having serious heart rate decelerations and when my midwife did an internal he had gone back up and my cervix was closing up. My midwife suspected UR, and we transferred to the hospital in a rush.  I didn't have a UR, my midwives don't really know what happened, they think it was perhaps a cord issue, and the drive to the hospital jostled baby off of the cord and then his heart rate improved some and I was progressing fast enough that the hospital staff let me go ahead and start pushing, but it was still touch and go, monitors watched closely, baby kept having late decels, talk of c section, but in the end I was able to have him vaginally. This was not at all the birth I had thought I would have, hoped for, but it's what I got. I totally agree that following your instincts is important, and also that we need to here all sorts of stories, not just the positive, everything worked out at home, ones.


Maria, wife to DH, mama to DS 09/2007, #2 12/2010 and hoping for a
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#11 of 20 Old 02-02-2011, 04:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you all so very much, it took me a lot to get the guts to write my story, mostly because it's traumatic for me and partly because I didnt want to be a huge downer for people, but yes - i really do think that stories like mine should be heard more often.  i informed myself with all the stats n figures, the positive outcome stories and romanticised it all in my mind to a point where i left myself totally unprepared for anything other than a straightforward rainbows n lollipops birth.  sure i had rainbows etc for the first half of the labour and it was amazing, i'd never take that back, but i do wish i'd known about factors such as adhesions and the possibility of rupture WITHOUT fetal HR issues (hers stayed at 135 the whole time).

 

well done to all of the mamas who are expecting and have read my tale- you're truly preparing for your VBAC properly! i avoided all neg stories and wish i hadnt lol

 

my placenta... was anterior, and stuck in there good n tight, took a lot of digging around (felt like someone was stabing my navel) to get that out...

 

as for my uterus..... Ive still got one :) docs said it's fine but not to try for a vba2c *shrug* im much more okay with sections now lol

 

im ecologically breastfeeding my baby so no AF yet etc so no idea if my uterus works etc im sure it does but im not intending on having anymore babies anyway...

 

and thanks- madison is beautiful i agree <3

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#12 of 20 Old 02-02-2011, 07:04 PM
 
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I'm sorry you experienced all of this; thank you for sharing your story.  I think you've presented it well.  I can certainly understand that you feel traumatized!  Thank God you're both ok.  I guess her position was really the thing that kept you from possibly having a really bad outcome?  OTOH, I guess if her HR started to crash, they might have suspected UR sooner?  Phew!!!!

 

Anyway, I'm glad I read this.  It actually makes me feel more comfortable proceeding with my plan to HBA2C.


Kimberly, mom & wife - blogging.jpg about pregnancy and birth
DD 2004; 3 angel1.gif babies 2007-08; rainbow1284.gif twin DDs 2009; DD 7/12/11 hospital uhoh3.gif VBAC bouncy.gifafter 2 cesareans!

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#13 of 20 Old 02-02-2011, 11:49 PM
 
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Thanks for sharing your story.

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#14 of 20 Old 02-04-2011, 06:06 PM
 
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Thanks again, from someone starting to research VBAC. This is invaluable information! Do you know if it is possible for an OB or MW to check for adhesions and/or the state of the internal scar in advance, so we can be prepared for this possibility during the VBAC?

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#15 of 20 Old 02-06-2011, 11:38 AM
 
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Thank You SO Much for sharing your story

 

It is great to hear while everything does not always go perfectly as planned that does not mean it will be catesrophic either.

 

Like you said most ruptures are a slow tearing process not a masive popping like explosion.

 

And above everything we need to learn to listen to our own bodies and follow our instincts not hand over mindlessly to medical staff.

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#16 of 20 Old 02-06-2011, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i'm not too sure if MW's/OB can check for adhesions etc once you're already pg. i knew i had them because ive had rather a lot of surgery and each time theyve commented that i had adhesions.

 

i know theyre more likely if - you have endometriosis, pcos or if you tend to "over" heal, like if you have a cut and it forms a lumpy scar, or if piercings you have grow out and form lumps.

 

also if youve had a lot of surgery, keyhole or open then theyre more likely, also less common in caucasian women (i am caucasian though haha)

 

sorry i cant provide better info, im kinda just passing the torch over to you guys to research it, dont worry too much though it's not likely to affect you, but yeah something to maybe bare in mind that you dont need to feel bad for asking for pain relief if you suffer from them, if my darn cervix wouldve just opened up then i wouldve been able to birth at home with gas n air, but then i guess it's lucky i didnt cuz my placenta was stuck anyway haha i guess im just one of the minute % that just cant get a baby out the passenger door, gotta use the sunroof *shrug*


heartbeat.gifmy DH DS (5) angel1.gifx2... rainbow1284.gif DD 8th oct!! 9lb 5oz  Madison Akina-Mae - i wear her, feed her, co-sleep and hold her just about every minute of the day DS is my little scientist and the most loving person i ever did meet.  I'm lucky and I know it
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#17 of 20 Old 02-06-2011, 07:17 PM
 
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i was nervous to read this but am glad i did, agree w/pp that it is helpful to read stories of possible neg outcomes, and if i had something like that happen, it would help me to know that it had happened to someone else. i am so glad you and baby are ok. thank you for sharing this.

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#18 of 20 Old 02-07-2011, 06:57 PM
 
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Thanks for replying about the adhesions and scarring, corban's mum. I had a frozen embryo transferred last week, and the RE said "Wow, you must have had a crazy C-section!" When I asked what he meant, he said my scar was uneven and he had trouble manouvering the catheter around it and into the uterus. So now I'm a little worried about how this will affect my VBAC. I will ask my OB or MW if they can check, or what they think.

 

And I'm so glad you and your sweet little baby are okay! Situations like this are exactly what C-sections were invented for, and the reason you and the baby are alive and well. It's the other 75% of C-sections of questionable necessity that we need to fight.

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#19 of 20 Old 02-07-2011, 07:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JFTB1177 View Post

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I think we NEED these kind of stories instead of all the glowing, rainbows and unicorns type thing. I don't think this thread should be removed and I will be upset if it is, because what censorship that would be! It is actually helpful to read this and know you and baby were okay! Were they able to repair your uterus??

 

Your dd is adorable, btw!!!!! :-)

 

 



I think that the bolded is very important. Your story matters, and should be heard. Thank you for sharing it with us; and most importantly-- congratulations!!!! She is absolutely adorable!


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#20 of 20 Old 02-08-2011, 06:37 AM
 
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Thank you for your story.  I am glad the two of you turned out OK.  Whew!  I hope that you will grow to not think of it as a "failed" HBAC, but rather a successful transfer and CBAC because you both are ok.

 

I am planning a VBAC (possibly HBAC) in a couple of months and I am glad you shared your story.

 

Congrats and enjoy that beautiful baby!

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