I used to visit here often, but as we moved to the country and did not have ready access to the internet, I lost touch (to my detriment, really). I could go on and on about how the system failed me and taught me that my body is broken. My story is just like so many I have read on here, and I am ready to take back my births. Let me fill you all in so you can lift me up and show me I CAN do this, if we are blessed with another child.
I was all for a water birth with my first son in 2004. In the end, we were wheeled in for an emergency c-section after 27 hours of labor and waters ruptured, only at 7cm, and baby firmed wedged in my pelvis with the largest part of his head coming down first. I wish my midwife would have done something to turn him, now that I know that can be done. I tried for a VBAC with my next son in 2006. My waters broke before the onset of labor and after twelve hours of laboring with no support (I think hubby was suffering severe depression from the recent death of his father, but that is another story as to why he was not a support system), my labor ceased. I relented to a c-section because I was essentially all alone and just could not do it without support. Though the hospital was friendly to VBACs (so they said), the midwife slept through my labor, seldom checking in on me and did not try to remind me how much I wished to have a vaginal birth. So, along comes number 3 in 2008. This pregnancy was different because our home life was disrupted. We live in a mid to late 1800s home and discovered it was riddled with lead paint (we should have known). We went through the whole pregnancy with different crews coming and going, botching the lead safety standards and endangering the children and the unborn baby's health. We had to move out but only had a place temporarily. As our time their dwindled down, we had few choices. My due date was nearing and there were zero signs of impending labor. We talked ourselves into a c-section, even though I could have tried for a VBAC at that hospital. I feel foolish now to have done so, but the stress of having no where to stay that was close to the hospital wore us down. My husband had to return to work and we were almost 2 hours from home at this place with me as the sole driver. Our family went to live with friends closer to home the day after I was released. The stress was intense as the new contractors botched even more work on the home, making it another 6 weeks before we could safely return. My last baby, our first daughter, was a scheduled c-section. At that point, I was convinced that I was broken, born incorrectly made to never vaginally birth a baby. I was once again a fool of the system, a system that has long lost the vision of what God designed women's bodies to do.
Now that I have spilled all that on you all, maybe you will understand me a bit better. I suffered deeply not being even one of the first few people to hold my baby, not getting to nurse right away. I felt I had let my husband down, and myself, since I just could not make this happen. Laying in the OR, listening to the doctors talk about how much I've bled, or the adhesions, or random gossip...it was .lightyears away from my dream of a peaceful water birth. There are endless more details, but this is the most consise I can be without boring every one to death ;)
I am praying for more children. I am completely open to more. The last OB said that I he would not tell me to not have more, but that I had many adhesions and risk damaging other internal organs if I were to have another c-section. I doubt he, or anyone in my state associated with a hospital, would take me on as a VBAC candidate. I am pretty sure I would not want another hospital birth anyway, as it always seems to head down the road to the OR.
Am I nuts to want a VBA4C? I have read several stories of others that have succeeded, and others that ended in rupture. I will say that I grilled the OB at my post-birth exam. The answers I was looking for are: my uterus is not thinning, and actually looks nice and thick and I have MANY adhesions. I am starting to realize that there is probably no real reason I cannot give natural birth, if I were just allowed to have the time to let my body work without interventions and if I had a proper support system.
Do adhesions make a VBAC more dangerous? If it is any indication, I keloid consistenly with almost any wound that isn't superficial. I had a total thyroidectomy that has a large keloid, for example. Would that mean my scar is likely strong and less likely to rupture, seeing as keloids are so thick (just a thought)?
I soooo appreciate all the lovely stories and words of encouragment that I have read here. Thank you all! Please, either set me straight, teach me some truths, or show me a way, because if I am able to have another child, I will not be signing up for another c-section! (sorry that this turned into a mini-book!)
I have read about massage just recently for adhesions. I am willing to give it a try! I wonder what you all think of this video on YouTube. Really well presented, I thought. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he_YB9e__rQ
Here are some VBA4C stories.
Mama to DS ('06), DD ('08), and DD (9.18.11).
The issue with adhesions has nothing to do with laboring at all. What it means is that if you were to need an emergency c/s it would take them too long to work through them to save the baby.
As for whether or not you want to try for a VBA4C, I can't answer for you. What I do want to respond to is the part where you talk about being broken. You are NOT broken. Having a c/s does not make you any less of a woman. In fact, I believe, you are a stronger woman for it. It takes guts to undergo MAJOR abdominal surgery so often. Serious strength there. If you never have a vaginal birth, you are no less of a woman than someone who has only had vaginal births.
For the keloids, etc, I don't think they have anything to do with strength.
As someone who tried for a VBAC and failed, I understand the desire to try for a vaginal birth. Personally, I feel like if I were to get pregnant again, I would try for a VBA2C. If I were to need another c/s, any children after that would be repeat c/s. It's just easier on myself mentally, and safer for the babies. I do find that my second c/s was much better than my first, because I put down certain things in my birth plan about it. Things like not tying my arms down, seeing ds before he got cleaned up, etc.
There can be wonderful peaceful c-sections. I'm wondering if you could put down preferences (like medical talk kept to a minimum, certain music playing, a lower screen so you can see your next baby with the cord still attached, etc) would make it a better, healing experience?
Wife to dh, Mommy to my heavenly angel, J (06), and my earthly angels, S (07) and E (10)
I do not think it is crazy at all. Finding a supportive provider is key though. Have you joined the ICAN yahoo group? If not you should!
I am NOT alone!!!! :) Hello, I am looking forward to having a VBA4C as well. I am currently due in February 2012 and so very thankful to have found other ladies that are sharing information. Are you in the states or another Country? I am located in Oklahoma, and am currently seeking any bit of information I can gather for labor and delivery here. I just wanted to show support and encourage you to do what you choose to do. You are not alone, either.
Thank you, thank you for your support! I am in Maine. There is so much to learn about VBAMC, and for me, much fear to overcome. I am so happy that there is support here. Though I am not currently pregnant, I would love to have more children. Perhaps we could chat via email? I would love to hear more about your particular c-sections and the outcomes. My email is email@example.com. Nice to 'meet' you!
Thank you as well previous poster, for the link to the site with all the VBAC stories and info. That site is a treasure trove!
I had had 3 csects and 2 vbacs when I had another vbac. So that vbac was after 3 csects. I recovered easily and quickly. Then, for a stupid reason, I consented to a csect...4th csect. Even though my birth just before that one was a vbac. I almost died from the csect. I had already seen the stats. A 4th csect is far more dangerous than a vbac after 3 csects. But I was stupid and I went with the csect. It was traumatic and awful. I have never fully recovered physically.
I think you should compare the risks of a 5th csect against the risks of a vbac after 4 csect. Doctors like to make up claims about rupture rates with no studies behind their claims. Then they act like csects are risk free. They are not. And women die from them.
Hello! I'm a HBA4C mommy that just had my baby boy in March. My first vaginally born child, and even though it was hard work, it was well worth it. I asked just about every hospital and doctor within a 2-1/2 hr radius if they'd be willing to let me do a VBAC. The answer: no. I was (mis)diagnosed with CPD with my first one, and according to the doctors, since I had already had 4 c-sections, I was too big of a risk for a VBAC. We prayed for an answer, and thankfully God answered us by leading us to an out-of-state MW who was willing and able. I found her through a Christian MW's email list.
The labor and birth lasted around 38 hrs, so be prepared! It's like going through a first birth all over again, except this time you have the support and patience you need to succeed (hopefully). Having a mw who is knowledgable about VBAC is a major bonus, and it's imperative that she works with a partner so she has someone to consult with.
I would encourage you to not give up hope. Keep reading, keep searching, keep praying.
Blessings to you!