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#1 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a CS with DD last November, even though I had a great doula attending alongside DH. But now I'm due in May and the hospital in my remote neck of the woods doesn't do vbacs. The nearest hospital that does vbacs is over 100 miles away and there's nothing but trees from here to there!

My husband absolutely refuses to have a homebirth after hearing from several friends who all had pretty hairy situations occur while homebirthing.

Is it worth it, do you think, to risk a 100 mile journey while laboring to have a vbac (not to mention 200 miles round trip for checkups!).

My other option is to stay with my mom who lives in a metro area where there are abundant birthing clinics, etc. But then DH would be 7 hours away!

My doctor tells me I should figure it out soon. I don't know what I'm going to do!
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#2 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 03:44 PM
 
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You mean you're due May 06? not 05.

Well I've heard of moms staying in hotels near hospitals so staying with your mom sounds so much better than that! I'd be letting my non laboring dh drive the 7 hours.

Can't you do your prenatals at the non vbac'ing hosp and then transfer your care to the birthing clinics near your moms later on?

I'm heard of hairy HB stories too but what I always got out of them was that the midwife acted responsibly, got the mom to hospital when needed and all was fine. Homebirth midwives do screen their patients and will drop a mom they think is too risky. What in particular was your husband concerned about?

Also if you're planning more children, then doing anything and everything to avoid another c/s this time is a good idea.
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#3 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 04:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm due May '06.

My husband is concerned that a person can bleed to death in a matter of a couple of minutes.

We're not planning more children. I just want 2. But I can't bring myself to schedule a c/s! It's too weird. I feel a little spiteful, actually, that I was tricked into having the first c/s. Can't prove it, but I think they lied to me about baby's head being disproportionate to my pelvis. I think they were tired and it was getting late and they wanted to go home.

My OB says that he can do initial prenatal visits, but that I should figure it out so I can get the rest of my prenatal care wherever I plan on having the baby. Can they kick me out if I ask/tell them I want to have the baby 300 miles away but that I want them to take care of prenatal care?
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#4 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just edited my sig. Thanks!
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#5 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 04:51 PM
 
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I'd try to have the VBAC! I actually did. I didn't have to drive that far though! Are you SURE that there arn't any closer? I really wanted to know my Midwifes well, so going to appts. one place & delivering in another wouldn't have worked for me. I hope you come up with a plan! Best wishes, it will come to you!
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#6 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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None of the podunk hospitals around here have NICUs so their insurance won't cover vbacs. Anybody know of any loopholes?
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#7 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 05:23 PM
 
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I'd have a homebirth- but I'd have had a homebirth with the first so I wouldn't be in your shoes (you might point that out to your dh.) Really- in your shoes my first choice would be to put my foot down and have a homebirth. Second choice would be to do anything needed to vbac.

-Angela
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#8 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 06:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keweenaw sun

My husband is concerned that a person can bleed to death in a matter of a couple of minutes.

My OB says that he can do initial prenatal visits, but that I should figure it out so I can get the rest of my prenatal care wherever I plan on having the baby. Can they kick me out if I ask/tell them I want to have the baby 300 miles away but that I want them to take care of prenatal care?
The ican website has some good info posted about the relative risks of c/s vs vbac. But if your non vbac'ing hospital can handle such a bleeding emergency, I don't see a problem.

It's probably easier not to tell them about your plans for where you'll deliver. You can say you plan to deliver there but then change your mind.

ican is at www.ican-online.org. There's lots of informative papers here:
http://www.ican-online.org/resources...pers/index.php
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#9 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 08:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The papers found at ican are empowering! I'm still intimidated as to what I should say to my dr at my next visit, 2 weeks from now. I think I should 'play along' until I figure it out for sure. I just can't stand that I can't have an honest and open conversation with these people... another reason I should seek out alternatives.
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#10 of 27 Old 09-27-2005, 09:15 PM
 
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I had my vbac four hours away. I alternated prenatal visits there and with my OB here in town. I was honest and straight up about my plans, and found lots of real-life support. I would never spread my legs for a doctor I didn't trust and didn't feel I could be honest with. DH and I took Bradley classes, which really eased his fears of me giving birth outside the hospital setting. I read parts of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth out loud to him, which he says helped bolster his confidence in my body's ability to give birth more than anything else. I also printed out several dozen pages from www.gentlebirth.org on the safety of homebirths for him to read. I also printed out for DH and my doctor, the study on homebirth safety at The Farm, since that is where I had my vbac. Ultimitely, it is your decision to make. It's easier if you have your partner's support, but this is about your body, your choice, not his. You have to do what's right for you. You will have to live with the memory of your child's birth the rest of your life.
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#11 of 27 Old 09-28-2005, 04:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keweenaw sun
My husband absolutely refuses to have a homebirth
I'd probably tell him something along the lines of "That's okay dear, I don't think there's much chance of you having one." Emphasis on the you.

I guess it boils down to you travelling elsewhere to VBAC and him not getting to be part of the birth experience, or HBACing and him getting to be there. Which does he prefer? Which do you prefer?
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#12 of 27 Old 10-06-2005, 10:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by stafl
The Farm... that is where I had my vbac.
How LUCKY you are!
I'm so happy you got to have that experience!
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#13 of 27 Old 10-10-2005, 04:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keweenaw sun
None of the podunk hospitals around here have NICUs so their insurance won't cover vbacs. Anybody know of any loopholes?
But but but...what do they do with the babies born by c/s with breathing problems? What do they do for TRUE emergency situations with babies? That makes NO sense at all!

Why don't hospitals THINK? Why aren't they logical? augh.

********
No matter how far I had to travel I'd travel for a VBAC.

People can bleed out that fast if an artery is opened up entirely. I have some family experience in this, but it didn't happen that fast (and wasn't during birth and was absolutely doctor-caused).

What does hubby think you're going to bleed that fast from?
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#14 of 27 Old 10-10-2005, 10:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by keweenaw sun
None of the podunk hospitals around here have NICUs so their insurance won't cover vbacs. Anybody know of any loopholes?
I am told that a hospital can't refuse to admit you if you are 8 cm or more dilated...and of course you can refuse ANY treatment, including c/sec, once you're admitted. I don't know if I'd recommend this method, however, as it might create a hostile feeling among the staff (who are of course supposed to support you).
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#15 of 27 Old 10-10-2005, 11:00 PM
 
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Alas, I know of more than one credible person who was taken to the OR while she and hubby were yelling "we do not consent". And women whose babies were crowning having said baby pushed back up while being run to the OR, and so on. Whether or not they *should* do this, they DO do it...all they have to do is cry "emergency" and all bets are off.
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#16 of 27 Old 10-10-2005, 11:10 PM
 
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I drove 80 miles each way for prenatals and my successful VBAC. I would do it again in a heartbeat!
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#17 of 27 Old 10-11-2005, 01:22 PM
 
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"but I'd have had a homebirth with the first so I wouldn't be in your shoes"

That comment is so incredibly offensive! Are you implying that you are above any sort of complication happening? Thats what it sounds like - you will never have to have a c-section because you are smarter and plan better. Whatever! So it is this woman's fault that she had a c-section? Offensive and ignorant! For your information I planned a homebirth with my son. I developed pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome at 34 weeks and my son had to be born immediately by c-section as I was unconscious and starting to seize. But of course if I had just been better educated that wouldn't have happened right? Or how about my VBAC labour where I planned a homebirth again and laboured at home for 25 hours but my daughter went into distress and I had to transfer and have an emergency c-section? BOTH times I planned a homebirth, both times I ended up with a c-section. How incredibly ARROGANT of you to assume that if a person was just better educated or planned a homebirth that a c-section would not be a possibility!

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#18 of 27 Old 10-11-2005, 05:30 PM
 
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Most homebirth midwives carry pitocin and that other drug that starts with an m that I can never remember to deal with post partum bleeding and most of the time that's sufficient until you can get hospital help. That is not the biggest worry I would have for HBACing. I would consider either the staying with mom option if homebirth doesn't work out (I know it's hard not to have DH there, but if you are close enough to your mom, maybe it would be worth it to have her there instead of him in order to VBAC). I don't recommend the showing up crowning option at the VBAC banning hospital-- there have been too many cases of women being gassed for doing that. It's better to travel 100 mi in labor than to deal with that.
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#19 of 27 Old 10-11-2005, 05:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly
"but I'd have had a homebirth with the first so I wouldn't be in your shoes"

That comment is so incredibly offensive! Are you implying that you are above any sort of complication happening? Thats what it sounds like - you will never have to have a c-section because you are smarter and plan better. Whatever! So it is this woman's fault that she had a c-section? Offensive and ignorant! For your information I planned a homebirth with my son. I developed pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome at 34 weeks and my son had to be born immediately by c-section as I was unconscious and starting to seize. But of course if I had just been better educated that wouldn't have happened right? Or how about my VBAC labour where I planned a homebirth again and laboured at home for 25 hours but my daughter went into distress and I had to transfer and have an emergency c-section? BOTH times I planned a homebirth, both times I ended up with a c-section. How incredibly ARROGANT of you to assume that if a person was just better educated or planned a homebirth that a c-section would not be a possibility!
That kind of smugness is particularly inappropriate on a VBAC board. None of us would be here if we thought it could happen to us.
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#20 of 27 Old 10-12-2005, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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All right everybody, I know we all strong convictions about birthing naturally, and perhaps all are more than a bit skeptical of the medical community-- that's kind of why we're here talking about this, yeah?-- and I really would like to birth naturally, but the news from my last ultrasound-- Twins!-- has me thinking that I need to stay put, take care of my daughter at home, go to the nearest (non-vbac) hospital, get the c/s, bring my babies home and be happy. Note: I'm not saying I need to shut-up and be happy with what they tell me. I would like to think that I will petition against the hospital and this ridiculous policy of c/s being safer than vbacs.

The stress of having to arrange care for my dd, impose upon family members, be away from dh, so I can have a dream-birth just doesn't seem worth it... wouldn't quite be a dream-birth anyway if everyone was all disrupted/out-of-sync/miles-apart. Maybe I'm just more of an eyes-on-the-prize kind of person, maybe I am not as emotionally/philosophically/spiritually tied to the idea as some of you--- I admire those of you who will not settle for less than you deserve.

Does anybody know what I'm talking about?...
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#21 of 27 Old 10-12-2005, 06:06 PM
 
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I do. And I'm a twin mama too (check out the multiples board here, BTW). I considered doing a repeat c, for some of the same reasons. I decided to VBAC, but I do understand where you are coming from

Also, I don't think alegna meant at all to be offensive. I think she was saying that keweenaw shouldn't necessarily follow her advice b/c their situations weren't the same. Which is true.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#22 of 27 Old 10-12-2005, 07:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by keweenaw sun
The stress of having to arrange care for my dd, impose upon family members, be away from dh, so I can have a dream-birth just doesn't seem worth it...

Does anybody know what I'm talking about?...
what???? :
my DD and DH were there with me when I had my dream vbac (that was, after all, part of my ideal birth), I didn't impose upon anyone, and it was very much worth the four-hour drive (about 200 miles, I guess) to have what for me was the perfect birth experience. peace
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#23 of 27 Old 10-14-2005, 12:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Since the pregnancy invloves twins, the hospital that offers vbacs 100 miles from here won't touch it either, since it is a "high risk" pregnancy...

So, I guess if I wanted a vbac in a hospital, I would have to consider going to my mom's 7 hours away (staying there for the 3-4 weeks before the expected due date) which would mean being away from my dh and caring for my then 18mo dd pretty much by myself in a foreign environment while I am basically supposed to be just resting and incubating these babies... no-- I don't think that will work.

Homebirth: As mentioned earlier, my dh absolutely does not want to have a homebirth. I don't even know if any of the area midwives will touch a twin vbac; I haven't gotten around to investigating that yet.

I AM, however, considering using the "tactics" explained in the ican papers (link provided from a pp, this thread), playing along with repeat c/s, then NOT consenting to the procedure within 30 days of due date . I believe that may cause a hostile atmosphere at the hospital , and I would want to retain a lawyer, but I think it may just well be worth proving the point! I could foresee it becoming a controversial topic in the community and making it onto the nightly news around here! But it would bring awareness to the area ... I would have to keep this scheme to myself, not even let my dh in on it until the time comes, as he does not deal well with confrontation.
Has anyone here ever tried this? I will have to check out other posts on the forum to see if anyone has actually done this... (or, please, point me there!)

Thoughts, anyone?
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#24 of 27 Old 10-14-2005, 02:08 PM
 
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I couldn't do that, personally. I couldn't have care providers I could not trust to be honest with. I could not lie to my husband about my plans.
But you do have my best wishes that it all works out for you.




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#25 of 27 Old 10-14-2005, 10:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by stafl
what???? :
my DD and DH were there with me when I had my dream vbac (that was, after all, part of my ideal birth), I didn't impose upon anyone, and it was very much worth the four-hour drive (about 200 miles, I guess) to have what for me was the perfect birth experience. peace
This is a concern for me and my husband, too--what to do with our daughter. Our family members are a minimum of three hours away, and I don't even know if any of them could get off work to come up here. My local friends all have small children and I hate to throw onto them the extra care of a 3-year-old who's not going to deal well with our absence. And even if the place where I decide to birth allows her to be in the room, she is waaay too sensitive to handle that. She can't stand seeing either of us in pain, and even if i said it was "good pain," I'm sure she'd still be distressed. And seeing her distressed would just make me tense, and distract my husband from helping me, sooo...

We're trying to figure out what we will do. I hope that my sister who lives closest can be flexible with her work schedule enough to just drop things and come when we need her, but I haven't asked her yet. Wish us luck!
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#26 of 27 Old 10-15-2005, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good Luck AndiB!
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#27 of 27 Old 10-23-2005, 01:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by keweenaw sun
Since the pregnancy invloves twins, the hospital that offers vbacs 100 miles from here won't touch it either, since it is a "high risk" pregnancy...
I'm so sorry to hear that- isn't it aweful how the stupid insurance people (all without medical degrees or common sense) can force decisions on us? I really feel for you- I know how powerless it must make you feel to have other people telling you what you can and cannot do- especially when you know that you were designed to do exactly that!! :

"I AM, however, considering using the "tactics" explained in the ican papers (link provided from a pp, this thread), playing along with repeat c/s, then NOT consenting to the procedure within 30 days of due date . I believe that may cause a hostile atmosphere at the hospital , and I would want to retain a lawyer, but I think it may just well be worth proving the point! I could foresee it becoming a controversial topic in the community and making it onto the nightly news around here! But it would bring awareness to the area"

More power to you!! Honestly, this was kinda my thought from the beginning of reading your posts. I think this is what I'd do. They can't FORCE you to have a c-section, and they can't refuse treatment, either. Just make doubly (and tripley) certain that you have at least one advocate WITH YOU at ALL TIMES- so they can't pull some crap- like pushing medications in your IV. I don't know your intentions, but I would certainly avoid any medications of any sort (assuming they aren't necessary- like for group B strep), and don't let them run a continuous IV- if you need something like fluids, let them run it & cap it off with a hep-loc. That way they can't claim that you are in an altered state and incapable of making legal and rational decisions, etc. If you're worried about going un-medicated, look into Hypnobabies birthing program (there's a home study course).

Also, I'm sorry to hear that you don't think your hubby will be so supportive. I totally understand what you mean- I think mine would be the same way- he is very opposed to confrontation, wouldn't even consider home-birth, etc. But I think that I would gather all the information (empirical studies, personal stories, etc., talking about the reason for having a natural birth for your babies & for you) and then sit down with him and ask him to support you. If he balks, ask him to convince you that it is not the best way to go (that one usually works on my dh). I'm sure that he will be supportive if you give him a chance.

Good luck & I'll be praying for you. Keep us informed.

Wife to since '98; Homeschooling, working on my doctorate & becoming crunchier by the day; Mom to DSs: 06/10,12/05, & 1/99 & 1 on the way (3/15)
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