1st c-sec, what do you think now? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 42 Old 10-24-2005, 09:08 PM
 
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some of us were educated, had read all the right books, questioned everything the doctor said, and still ended up with cesareans. It really really hurts when people assume all it takes is a bit of education and it wouldn't have happened.
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That is actually just about my biggest beef with the natural childbirth crowd--the assumptions which are often made about me because my first child arrived via a cesarean birth. My mw had a very, very low rate of Cs, and I did *everything* I could to avoid one.

I was relieved to get my cesarean, to be honest, because it seemed *highly* unlikely that my ds was going to come out healthy and okay without one (I don't recall if I shared any of the details on this thread, but if I didn't and you're curious, ask). That said, I certainly didn't believe that it meant that I automatically had to have one with all future kids.

However, I am very much aware that Cs are done way, way too often, and too often for not the best reasons. Anyone who's had a truly necessary C just gets lumped in by default.
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#32 of 42 Old 10-25-2005, 02:12 PM
 
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I didn't mean to imply--not by any means!--that informed women won't have c-sections! I'm horrified that I might have evoked such reactions in some of you--especially since I am one of those uber-informed women who ended up with a c-section and resent being told I could have avoided it "if you had only..." Many apologies to anyone who took my comment in that way!

I was actually not referring to the women who come and post here (posting here is a sign that you realize there is more to birth than what you're told by a doctor). I was referring to the kind of women who are content with their ignorance of pregnancy and birth, content with their inductions for being 40 weeks pregnant, or c-sections for things like cpd, or whatever other unnecessary interventions they agree to--content to say, "Yes, doctor" in each and every situation no matter what. If more women demanded accurate information and reliable support for their doctor's decisions, and looked for information on their own as well, there would be fewer c-sections in this country. That's all I meant to say.
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#33 of 42 Old 10-26-2005, 12:35 PM
 
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My cesareans have both been very sad and traumatic for me.
But somehow the second one has made both of them easier, I feel more acceptance and less arrogance overall. The second one was more obviously "necessary" (big abruption, lots of blood) though I have no guarantee that we definitely would have died without it. First one was IMO prudent (primip postdates big breech baby). But like I said, very sad and traumatic anyway. After that, I was sure I would never have another cesarean and neither should anyone else. I passionately, obsessively educated myself. I knew that if you just pick the right caregiver and take care of yourself the right way and don't have any interventions, everything would be fine. Well, it wasn't. And I find I am so much less likely now to jump to judgment even in my own head. And I think that is a good thing.
Today I am at peace with how my children entered the world, even though it was not in any way what I wanted or worked for.
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#34 of 42 Old 10-27-2005, 06:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lizziejackie
Just about every c/s is ultimately "needed". It's the factors leading up to a c/s that are the trouble...



This was true of my c/s. I was induced and had an epidural and AROM. All of which led to poor head position and late decels. At that point I needed the c/s. Ultimately I had to take responsibility for that. The Dr was doing what he was trained to do. Thats why I chose hbac with a midwife.

I agree, though my HB choice did not save me from a CBAC.

With my first, I was augmented, and had an epidural, and ultimately AROM and after 6 hrs of pushing, 30 hrs of labor, I had just jammed my dd into my pelvis-she was posterior,

So I thought I was educated the second time around and chose to HBAC with a mw and doula, and I still ended up with a section. I also ended up with a bandl's ring: a sign of obstructed labor, and a baby with late decels (though I am skeptical anything was wrong) who was again, jammed in to my pelvis in an LOP position which was not diagnosed until my son was pulled out of me(and I had done OFP and chiro care throughout pregnancy) I'll never forgive myself for consenting to AROM (though I had partial SROM or a slow leak before that) but my point is, that even if you are educated, it is hard to make educated decisions in the midst of a hazy fatigue when contractions are 2 minutes apart lasting for 1 minute, and you've been in that state for 5, then 8, then 10 hours, and you've tried just about everything you can to get your baby out.


I HATE both my c-sections, but as PPs have said the first was what lit the fire in me to come over to the crunchy side of life, examine mainstream culture, and question just about everything before I swallowed it hook-line-an sinker. I regret my c-sections but I sometimes think I am a better person for it, a gentler, better educated person, and a better mother. so maybe some good came out of ythe first, but I don't see how anything good came out of the second, ( other than my son, Of course!)
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#35 of 42 Old 10-28-2005, 10:44 PM
 
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I hope I didn't imply to anyone that here that educating themselves would have saved them from c/sections -- esp. those that were wanting to VBAC. I know that's just not true for a lot of people, even those VBAC hopefuls turned CBAC. What I am saying tho, if more women would educate themselves before and during their first pregnancies, we would certainly end up with fewer c/sections and therefore, fewer women doing the "VBAC scramble" (which is my term for us VBACers who feel we have to fend off the entire medical establishment, our friends and our families to obtain a VBAC.)

I am enjoying this thread tho!
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#36 of 42 Old 10-29-2005, 07:45 PM
 
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My pregnancy was traumatic, my c-section was wonderful, fabulous, like a breath of fresh air.

After my water broke at 20 weeks I was told I had an 80% chance of going into labor w/i a week and they would not stop labor and would not attempt to revive the baby upon delievery (actually, he probably would've been stillborn). After 68 successful days in the hospital on complete bedrest, I began bleeding moderately and was having some very, very mild contractions. I begged the on call doc to deliever me. I begged and begged and begged some more. I had made it this far, the last thing I wanted was to lose my child after all that I had done to get him to 30 weeks. She wouldn't do it. She thought I was fine. When my OB got to work the next morning she said she thought it was time. I fully agreed. 2 hours and 48 minutes later, my son was born. It was silent in the room for the first 2-3 minutes, and then he started to cry. It was music to my ears. His lungs had developed, despite the very low fluid he had to work with!

My OB came to recovery and told me that not only was the placenta abrupting, but the cord was only 6 inches long and implanted on the wrong place on the placenta.

I will always be grateful for my OB and my c-birth.

M.

Wife to an amazing man love.gif, mommy to 3 wild dudes: ds1 (5/23/05 @ 30 weeks), ds2 (3/5/09) hbac.gif, and ds3 (9/26/10) hbac.gif. Part time librarianread.gif, full time mommysupermod.gif, occasional chef and maid.

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#37 of 42 Old 11-02-2005, 03:03 PM
 
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I'm very thankful for my c-section. Without it, my dd would not be here. It wasn't my choice to have one, and I would never opt to have one, but it was the best thing for my daughter.

Michelle
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#38 of 42 Old 11-02-2005, 05:01 PM
 
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My feelings on my first c-section have really changed over the years.To begin with I wasn't really upset. I thought it was a pretty easy recovery (I was 22!) and I bf'd my son until he was 7-8 months, longer than anyone else I knew.

I went on to have 2 vbac's, in 92 and 94. I really did want them, but I wasn't obsessed with it, especially the first vbac. But I'm really glad I had them.

However, then years later when I was pregnant again, in 2003, and I discovered the HUGE backlash against vbacs, I really started to get angry about my first c-section. Even though I had had 2 vbac's, both INDUCED no less, I was now being refused even the chance to vbac . It turns out, I would've had to have a c-section for my bp anyway, but still, the choice was never there, even had I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

And now, of course, after 2 c-sections, and still the high bp, I'm really stuck.

My first child, and my 2 vbacs, were all born with merconium. I don't really know what to think now, 14.5 years later, about how "necessary" my first c-section was. But it bothers me more now, than it did for the first 9 years after having it.
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#39 of 42 Old 11-03-2005, 06:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by gethane
My feelings on my first c-section have really changed over the years.To begin with I wasn't really upset. I thought it was a pretty easy recovery (I was 22!)
Same thing here. I was 22, had a mw and wanted a natural birth. I was anxious about going in for my scheduled c/s(breech), but afterwards, I bonded deeply with my son, bf'd without a problem and pretty much got on with life.
Now, seven years later, I am ttc and will have to travel because none of the hospitals nearby will deal with vbacs. I am so angry, especially when I look back and realize that my c/s was unneccesary. I honestly didn't know any better. I come from a very mainstream family and all of my friends thought I was crazy when I said I didn't want pain meds. I read my "What to Expect...", went to my lamaze classes and I thought that my midwife would lead me in the right direction. I am greatful for internet access and the chance to meet people, ask questions, and get book reccomendations that I would otherwise never have.

~Robyn mama to
James, Sean, Christopher, and Michael~

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#40 of 42 Old 11-03-2005, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally I felt really good about my cesarean, b/c despite the fact that it is definitely not what I had hoped for, both my baby and I were healthy. I still feel good about my birthing experience;

I labored at home from prelabor through to about 3cm dilated and contractions about 1-3min apart (from 8pm to noon)
Then went to the birth center and labored from noon to 10pm before deciding myself that I wanted to transfer to the hospital.
After laboring at the hospital with an epidural we lost the fetal heart rate and even trying to find it many different ways couldnt find the heart rate, so I was rushed in to get a cesarean.

It turns out that dd was acynclitic, posterior and had the cord around her neck 5 times. She never descended into the birth canal b/c she ran out of cord! We were stuck at -1 and 8cm. So, with those circumstances, I felt our birth could not have happened any other way with both of us coming out healthy.

Afterwards, I felt happy to have our sweet baby girl with us and happy that despite the fact that I didnt delivery vaginally, I still had labored naturally for as long as I could, until I myself made the decision to go another route.

BUT, now I feel a little frustration with the VBAC dilemma. I definitely want to have other children, and I feel good about my first birth experience, but am apprehensive with the climate of VBAC. So that is my only regret, that the VBAC situation is so touchy and political because that would be my choice for my next birth, VBAC.

I know the whole cesarean thing is quite an issue. I do think there are plenty of situations where they are unnecessary, and I do agree that being educated and prepared to stand up for your birthing preferences would probably help in the situations where the cesareans weren't totally necessary. But I do also think there are lots of mamas that have ended up with completely necessary cesareans despite all of their education and preparedness. I think sometimes things happen in labor and pregnancy that you could never predict, like with my dd-I mean an umbilical cord around the neck 5 times! Who would have ever thought that would happen! I think any mama who has experienced cesarean most likely would love to have some sensitivity concerning her birth experience. Any mama I know with a cesarean in her past would much rather have chosen a vaginal birth and already feels bad enough without others judging her.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents
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#41 of 42 Old 11-04-2005, 12:21 AM
 
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To echo what a lot of you said, I am grateful for my c-section because it gave me my daughter. I was so staunchly against C-section, however, prior to her birth, that I almost asked my hubbie to "ditch" the prenatal classes part on C-sections and never read anything about them. I was determined to have a drug-free birth. That was before she was in distress.

On the one hand I am grateful, as I said, since my waters had broken and she was in distress, and she was born an hour after we checked in at the hospital. I didn't know I'd been in labor all day, until I read more about it in retrospect, and I hadn't really thought about the fact that she hadn't been active all that day either. So, for my little girl who was in some serious trouble, it was wonderful to have her born and safe via C-section.

The time in the hospital was mostly great. The surgery was quick, although the recovery for an hour in the storeroom/nurse's station was cold and lonely, and the two ensuing hours before seeing my baby again were pure emotional hell. After that, though, the hospital staff and medical care were wonderful. I was relatively drug-free in the hospital and felt strong and was recovering well. It wasn't until after I came home that I became weak and was in all kinds of pain. Then, the recovery process became endless. I didn't trust my own strength to be up and about and especially didn't feel able to deal with all of the rigors of sleeplessness and a baby who slept almost constantly, and then seemingly not at all.

Again, I am glad that the resource was available, and I was rushed so fast from the moment I got to the hospital until an hour later when I had the baby, I barely had a moment to consider the defeated feeling I always anticipated.

I also second the attitude that the first posting addressed, which is the attitude about unnecessary C-sections. I reeled in confusion and anger when my Aunt, a big proponent of home birthing sent me all kinds of information on unnecessary C-sections, days following my daughter's arrival. I would have loved to have had a home birth, but my husband and I didn't feel like we had the resources for support; community or family-wise. It grieves me to know, however, that if I were to choose to have a VBAC, which would be my preference, that I would have to live the last month of my pregancy 2 hours away from home, for that is the nearest community which has VBAC allowed. This is a travesty, and it is just another reason that I am currently 60% against having another child.
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#42 of 42 Old 11-04-2005, 03:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alexsam
So, now that it is all over, how do YOU all feel about your c-sections? Am I the only one who is "happy" with the c-section (though it was not, nor will be, a preferred choice)? I've just been hearing so much lately about horrible c-section experiences... If it can be "good" (which I think it can, considering the alternatives in some situations!), I'd like to say that I had one as good as it can get! It was not the end of my world to have a birth that was not what I thought it would be. In fact, it was the begining!

I'd like to share in your exhilaration, but your feelings are not my feelings.
Fourteen years later I'm still grieving and coping with the experiences associated with the c-section.

My son's surgical entry into this world was traumatic for him and for me. I didn't realize until I was pregnant with his sister, when he shared his feelings with me, just how he had been affected by it. Amazingly, his sister's birth experience is allowing both of us to heal.

For us, it's a long road to forgiveness and acceptance.

--Kari
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