BIG BABY LIKELY, OB having doubts.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 39 Old 05-13-2006, 08:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anyone have experience having birthed a big baby (9 lbs.+) with a VBAC? I am small, my husband is big, 1st baby was 9 lb. 1 oz. and was delivered by c-section. I am likely to have as big, if not bigger, baby this time (due in July). I feel like my c-section was attributable to a lot of different issues, (labor stalled when we got to hospital, epidural didn't work/given too early, awful midwife, being made to lie flat on my back, etc). They also said my son was not descending because he was presenting with his head and shoulder vs. his head......Anyway, I want to have a VBAC, I have found a supportive OB, my husband is on board etc., but the OB seems concerned that if the baby is over 8 lbs. I am less likely to be successful. The midwife had a similar response when she found out my first baby was 9 lbs. This is really getting me down, because I KNOW the baby is going to be at least 9 lbs. My son wasn't heavy--he was long and lean---he was just very big....Okay, I am rambling. Any thoughts/help would be MUCH appreciated?
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#2 of 39 Old 05-13-2006, 10:36 PM
 
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My babies were 9 lbs 5 oz (23"), 9 lbs 4 oz (22"), and 9 lbs 2 oz (21"). #1 was an emergency C, and #2 and #3 were VBACs. #3 had the biggest head and was the easiest birth. You won't necessarily have a *bigger* baby, and even if you do, the baby won't have a 9 lb head (the head is all that really matters--the rest of the baby is squishy). And little women can birth big babies (my mom is 5'4" and I was 10 lbs 2 oz, for example ).

I don't know why people get all up in arms about the size of the baby. My ob never said a WORD about how big she thought the baby would be (and so obviously, she wasn't concerned about size).

Two things to think about... (1) do you think your ob is the best option for a VBAC? (Do you know if there's anyone else who'd be more supportive?) (2) Have you thought about a doula? (This really helped me a lot with my VBACs.)

Good luck!
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#3 of 39 Old 05-13-2006, 10:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jen6
They also said my son was not descending because he was presenting with his head and shoulder vs. his head......Anyway, I want to have a VBAC, I have found a supportive OB, my husband is on board etc., but the OB seems concerned that if the baby is over 8 lbs. I am less likely to be successful. The midwife had a similar response when she found out my first baby was 9 lbs. This is really getting me down, because I KNOW the baby is going to be at least 9 lbs. My son wasn't heavy--he was long and lean---he was just very big....Okay, I am rambling. Any thoughts/help would be MUCH appreciated?
I question whether the OB is truly supportive. Other than restricting calories and nutrition, how are you supposed to grow a smaller baby? And I'd worry about any growth ultrasounds the OB may pressure you into. I often think OBs say ominous stuff about size to plant a seed of doubt (perhaps not even intentionally.) But like you said, your little guy was malpresenting. If you try to pull a tight sweater over your arm and shoulder at the same time, it's not gonna work well. But if you pull it over your head, your head should come out, even if you have a big head!

Is this a lay midwife, CNM or what?

I would worry that any medpro with a size hang-up is going to encourage you to do unhealthy stuff, whether it's dieting in pregnancy, a potentially dangerous pharmaceutical induction, or "natural" induction methods before the baby is ripe.

I don't have experience VBACing a big baby but a lot of the ICAN women have had nice big VBAC babies 10, 11, or more pounds!
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#4 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 12:07 AM
 
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We only grow babies to the right size for our bodies to push out. Surgeons are apparently unaware of this though. If you can choose another CP do so immediately. You don't need a surgeon's skillset to push a baby out your vagina There's a great thread in the CPs' forum on MDC with lots of tiny women pushing out massive babies, no problems. Your body works just as beautifully as theirs. I'm always reminded when this comes up of a friend of mine who was told she had CPD (baby too big) with her 8lb baby and then HBACed a 13lber over an intact perineum. Clearly that surgeon was an idiot!

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/pelvis.asp
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#5 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for your input and encouragement. It really helped lift my mood last night. I don't know if it is what the OB said that is so critical or I am just hitting a point of self-doubt. I keep telling myself that women have babies that are 9 and 10 lbs. all the time, but I find myself coming and going in confidence. As far as I know there is nothing "unusual" about my pelvis that would make it unlikely that I should be able to do it. My mom had 8 children, although only her last was over 9 lbs. Two sisters had c-sections, and one delivered a 9 1/2 pound baby vaginally.

As far as the OB, he comes highly recommended both from a person I know and trust and also his name kept popping up as a natural birth friendly OB in positive places, like the Active Birth Centre (I am in London right now.) I went with a midwife the last time and it was a DISASTER. She was awful. Her basic contribution was to come in and tell me how dilated I was. Seriously, that was it. My current OB did mention that some people restrict calories, but he didn't seem in favor of it. Also, he is supposedly a great doula, in that he is heavily involved in the actual labor-encouraging time on the birth ball, etc., and not just the catching the baby part. My osteopath said he helped her give birth to a 10 lb. baby vaginally and said if she had been with anyone else she feels she would have been pressured into a c-section. I have thought about a doula, but my husband, my mom, a hospital midwife and the OB are all supposed to be present. I am worried it might become a circus, but honestly I just don't know. I have also thought of having the doula come to the house and playing it by ear and waiting to decide if she comes to the hospital. When do people usually decide to get a doula? Are there any suggestions/resources people have found useful for maximizing the size of your pelvis during labor? ( I am learning some in yoga, but would love to hear what worked for people). Okay, I rambled again...: ). Thanks.
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#6 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 10:57 AM
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Just a note to inspire you, my last baby was 10lbs8oz.

I had her vaganially without an episotomy. No tearing, no bruising, 10's for her apgars.

Try to get vertical and you will likely be able to have a big baby.
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#7 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 11:03 AM
 
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I think that some babies will just grow big, but I have heard that using a diabetic diet will help ensure that the baby's size is the baby's size, not inflated by sugar. I used a no sugar diet with my second dd, though, and, in her case, it did not work.
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#8 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 11:13 AM
 
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It's completely normal for you to feel self-doubt, especially if your OB is already telling you you can't do it. Try doing some visualizations to remind yourself that you CAN do it. Try to surround yourself with positive people. I switched midwives because my original one told me I couldn't birth a baby over 7 pounds, and I wanted someone to support me who had faith in my body.

I will recommend some things that definitely helped me. www.spinningbabies.org, Optimal Foetal Positioning, and The Pink Kit. The Pink Kit has you rehearse various positions for when the baby is in an odd position and to help maximize your pelvis, and I found myself automatically doing some of those positions when my little guy turned posterior during labor. With the help of my positioning and my midwife he got turned right again and all went well.

Good luck!!!
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#9 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 11:27 AM
 
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My baby's estimated weight was two pounds too high, if I remember correctly.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#10 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 11:30 AM
 
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I have not had a c-section, but can help a bit with big babies. #1 was 8/12, babe #2 was 8/8 babe #3 was 9/2. As you can see, my 3rd was bigger than his sisters. However, he came out VERY quickly and easily.

Babe #4 was a full pound bigger than his big brother. He weighed 10pounds 2 ounces. I had to work really hard, pushed for over 2 hours. But he came out. He needed a little help getting out from our MW, but he came. I would NEVER hadve thought i could birth a 10 pound babe, but I did it. And so can you.
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#11 of 39 Old 05-14-2006, 05:19 PM
 
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I am also planning a VBAC this time around. DD3 was my c/s baby weighing in at 9lb 10oz & the only reason for the c/s was her size. I was uninformed & my OB convinced me that I could not birth her naturally since I had some trouble with DD2 & shoulder dystocia & she was only 7lb 13oz. ICAN has really opened my eyes since then. I am convinced that the epidural & being on my back caused my problems with DD2 & I can have a successful VBAC as long as I stay away from meds & try different positioning. I would say definitely find yourself a midwife or at the very least a doula if you are planning on staying with your OB. It may sound funny, but midwives have a lot more knowledge than OB's when it comes to different labor positions, squatting, hands & knees etc. that help to deliver larger babies. Definitely stay away from pain meds as they also make it harder to get out of bed & move around which is a must. I am hoping to have a large baby just so I can prove to everyone that yes, I can do it & my c/s was unnecessary. You can do it too. Just surround yourself with people who believe in you. That is a must. Definitely check out ICAN also!
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#12 of 39 Old 05-15-2006, 02:59 AM
 
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I haven't read all the responses yet, but let me share what I did......I had a c/s w/ a 9lbs10oz baby--got to 10 cm on my own and pushed for 2 1/2 hours. Almost every doctor I interviewed gave me no hope....and my binlaw is a neonatologist and he really thinks (after attending thousands of c/s and births w/ vacuums etc.) that ob's are just afraid of big babies!!! One doctor was rec'd to me by bradley teachers and when he told me, "You're not a good candidate". I was devestated.
So this is what I did.....I read hundreds of vbac stories---I joined the ICAN list and trust me, there are dozens, if not hundreds of moms who birthed babies bigger than their c/s! And big ones too. My favorite is one mom who called her 10 lb baby her "cpd buster". Then read Gloria LeMay's "Pelvises I have known and loved." google it or pm me if you can't find it. THe pelvis is amazing.
Whatever you do, please don't go in for an induction.....you'll set yourself up. The one doc I had was ok until he kept telling me he was going to strip my membranes at 37 weeks in order to "give me a chance to get my baby out." No way! So I switched (at 30 weeks) to a doc who told me the truth----something like 60% of moms vbac babies bigger than their c/s...don't worry about size, you can't control it anyways, eat healthy and exercise.
So that's what I did. My vbac baby was smaller 8lbs 4oz, but she came out posterior, which means her head was presenting the toughest way---taking up the most room. SO my pelvis that couldn't do it the first time, did it the secondtime. You can do it!
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#13 of 39 Old 05-15-2006, 03:32 AM
 
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my first was a section 7 lbs ...
my next 3 were homebirths ...
8lbs 9 oz
9lbs 5 oz
9 lbs 4 oz

you can do it!!

Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

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#14 of 39 Old 05-15-2006, 06:21 PM
 
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1st babe was a c/s because he was "just too big" - 2nd and 3rd babies were both VBAC - and each bigger than the 1st....go figure...The difference?? i was NOT induced and I stayed at home until 8cm then delivered with a midwife - I also agree - read A TON - I can is great, so is the new Ina Mae book (can't remeber the name) - and don't watch those trashy "birth" shows on discovery, TLC, etc.....Think about it - women, since forever, have given birth to big babies - somehow I can't imagine it is US who are suddenly fouling things up here......:
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#15 of 39 Old 05-16-2006, 06:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Everyone-

Just to follow up, I am feeling a lot more confident after reading the posts here and looking at a bunch of resources this week. I have also met with an osteopath to maximize the positioning of my pelvis. The article "Pelvises I Have Known and Loved" was great too.

Thanks for all the support and understanding. It is nice not to be alone with my concerns.
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#16 of 39 Old 05-22-2006, 03:31 AM
 
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I had a home VBAC and gave birth to a 9lbs 6oz healthy baby girl in 1 hour and 1 min from very first contraction to birth! I had not tears and recovered wonderfully. Also this was my first baby to pass through my perinium of being recontructed, and I have an illeostomy.
Good luck to you and believe in yourself, you baby and your body.
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#17 of 39 Old 05-23-2006, 11:54 PM
 
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My c/s baby was 7lbs4oz and we knew that our second baby was going to be bigger - I asked my midwife if she might be able to guess the weight of the baby (just for fun) but she sort of skirted around the question.
When we got to the hospital, though, we beat her there and the L&D nurse said to me "So we're having a big baby, right?" ... so the midwife had mentioned it to her.. but it was never a concern.
She was 9lbs. and I pushed for about an hour. She was a little chunk muffin, but she was also 10 days past my EDD, so she had a little more time to bake

~e, wife to my sweet T , mama to my turtleman (12) , sunshine (9 ), and monkey (6)
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#18 of 39 Old 05-24-2006, 01:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jen6
Anyway, I want to have a VBAC, I have found a supportive OB, my husband is on board etc., but the OB seems concerned that if the baby is over 8 lbs. I am less likely to be successful. The midwife had a similar response when she found out my first baby was 9 lbs. This is really getting me down, because I KNOW the baby is going to be at least 9 lbs. My son wasn't heavy--he was long and lean---he was just very big....Okay, I am rambling. Any thoughts/help would be MUCH appreciated?
My concern with either care provider is that although they seem like they are supportive, their doubts betray their true feelings on the matter. It's easy to say you are supportive of a VBAC, but often times it comes with strings attached. IE: mom can't be too big, too small, too short, too tall and baby can't be too small, too big, too late, etc.

As to the size of the baby correlating to the sucess rate for a VBAC. I'd say it's probably likely that mom's with bigger babies are less successful with VBACs, BUT (and this is a BIG BUT) I'd attribute that less to the mom's ability to birth the baby and more to the unrealistic labor expectations imposed on the mom. I'd say that most OBs get really nervous if the baby falls outside of their small window of "normal" and so are quick to section the mom any moment they fall outside that window.

You can do it! Your body won't grow a baby it can't birth. Start lining up your support team (doula, a close friend who's been there, etc) so you can GIP!
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#19 of 39 Old 06-06-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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I tried a vbac and my baby died. He was only 8lbs 15oz but his shoulders got stuck. Make sure you look and all the possibilities of things that can go wrong. an u/s can be done to check the size of your pelvis and your baby. This wasn't done for me. my story is on here under "my son shouldn't have died" i'm not trying to scare you, but I wish someone would have warned me. Losing my baby 5 hours after he was born is the worst thing i have ever faced- don't let it happen to you.
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#20 of 39 Old 06-06-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofanna,isaac
I tried a vbac and my baby died. He was only 8lbs 15oz but his shoulders got stuck. Make sure you look and all the possibilities of things that can go wrong. an u/s can be done to check the size of your pelvis and your baby. This wasn't done for me. my story is on here under "my son shouldn't have died" i'm not trying to scare you, but I wish someone would have warned me. Losing my baby 5 hours after he was born is the worst thing i have ever faced- don't let it happen to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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#21 of 39 Old 06-07-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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I'm sorry your baby died mama.
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#22 of 39 Old 06-07-2006, 10:41 PM
 
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my first baby was FTP c/s, and she was 9 lbs 14 oz; second was a successful VBAC, and she was only 8 lbs 3 oz. go for it and allow your body to do what it can - don't give up before you see how it goes!
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#23 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 01:09 AM
 
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I think it's also pertinent to mention how inaccurate u/s is at determining a baby's size before birth. They are notoriously inaccurate as are any attempts at measuring a woman's pelvis to determine if the baby will "fit". There's just no way to predict how a women's pelvis will expand to allow the baby to pass through. Women's bodies are an amazing creation that way.

I speak as one who knows. I was coerced into my c/s (never got to labor - it's weird to have a child and yet have no idea what a contraction feels like) b/c my 39 wk u/s showed my ds as 10lbs 4oz. He was 9lbs even. My u/s estimation was 1lb 4 oz (20 oz) off!

I mean this in no way to diminish a pp's loss. I would love it if there would be some way to know for sure what's going to happen and what the best course of action is 100% of the time. Unfortunately, there are just too many variables to make that possible. Life's much too risky. A c/s is also much too risky to simply go that route in order to avoid having problems. Babies have gotten stuck in c/s, too.

I sort of feel like a broken record, but have you heard of ICAN? I'd really encourage you to head on over to www.ican-online.org. They have a wealth of resources available and have an email list that would be worth joining. The ladies over there are very helpful and willing to go through the "what ifs".
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#24 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 01:19 AM
 
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I am pregnant w/ my first child and my EDD was last Friday (June 2). At my last OB checkup (June 6) I was 80-90% effaced, but not dilated yet. Baby has been head down since approximately 32 weeks and moves frequently throughout the day and night, her heartbeat is strong and steady (as is mine) and according to my doctor she has plenty of fluid to swim around in.

For a variety of reasons (e.g. ultrasound done 2 weeks ago, 1 hour Glucose test results at 120+, my prenatal weight, etc.), my OB thinks I’m going to have a 10+ pound baby and seems to be rather in a hurry to deliver her as soon as possible.

He has already suggested induction or just going ahead and scheduling a C-Section. He cites shoulder dystocia (sp?) and vaginal tearing, etc. as good enough reasons to avoid a vaginal birth, but I’m not convinced that the weight measurements are all that accurate. I’m 5’8” and my baby’s father is 6’2”. We’re both of hearty stock – in fact, he has two older daughters both of whom were over 9 pounds at birth. Unfortunately, I’m adopted and do not know how much I weighed at birth.

I’ve been putting my OB off on inducing so far b/c I believe in my body’s ability to give birth normally and naturally, at least I’d sure like to TRY first before just assuming that I can’t do it. I also don’t believe that inducing only a week past my due date is really giving my daughter (or my body) a chance to go into labor on it’s own first, which I know is the best thing for her (and me).

I had always planned on a drug free, intervention free birth (I hired a Doula to ensure this), but as my due date grew closer, it seems my OB’s attempts to instill fear in me grew stronger as well …

NOTE: he also thought I had GD, but I’ve been testing my glucose levels 4 times a day (fasting in the morning and 2 hours after every meal) and my levels are in the 78 - 92 range.

Perhaps b/c of my age, and b/c I worked in a hospital for over 10 years, as well as all the reading I’ve done over the past 9+ months (i.e. “Official Lamaze Guide”, “Adventures in Natural Childbirth”, “Birthing From Within”, “Immaculate Deception”, to name just a few), I am NOT easily intimidated or swayed by his fear tactics. I’m willing to go to at least the end of 41-42 weeks before agreeing to induction and have told him so.

Was just curious as to YOUR thoughts about being able to realistically birth a 10+ pound baby vaginally (and drug/intervention free), in an large metro area teaching hospital environment (Long Beach Memorial) that has already a high C-Section and epidural/episiotomy rate, etc.

Anything you can tell me would be greatly appreciated. I guess I just want to know that I’m not just being stubborn here, rather empowering myself to make a choice that will best serve my daughter and I.

I'm certainly encouraged by the posts I've read thus far ... but I'm also feeling worn out and exhausted by my doctor and friends insisting all the time that it's MORE important that I have a healthy baby than the way I actually give birth to her. While I agree in principle w/ that theory, I do believe that medical interventions are used much too frequently and that if possible, I'd prefer to do this the "old fashioned" way... w/o drugs, moving around, etc.

Thanks in advance!

Cheryl ~
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#25 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 02:22 AM
 
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I am pregnant w/ my first child and my EDD was last Friday (June 2). At my last OB checkup (June 6) I was 80-90% effaced, but not dilated yet. Baby has been head down since approximately 32 weeks and moves frequently throughout the day and night, her heartbeat is strong and steady (as is mine) and according to my doctor she has plenty of fluid to swim around in
First...dilation prior to labor is not a reliable predictor on when labor will happen. You can have zero dilation at a VE and two hours later be fully dilated and pushing (stranger things have happened). If I were you, I'd decline all future VE - all it's going to do is give him more ammo. Not true ammo, but when you're REALLY pg it can tend to wear on you.

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For a variety of reasons (e.g. ultrasound done 2 weeks ago, 1 hour Glucose test results at 120+, my prenatal weight, etc.), my OB thinks I’m going to have a 10+ pound baby and seems to be rather in a hurry to deliver her as soon as possible.

He has already suggested induction or just going ahead and scheduling a C-Section. He cites shoulder dystocia (sp?) and vaginal tearing, etc. as good enough reasons to avoid a vaginal birth, but I’m not convinced that the weight measurements are all that accurate. I’m 5’8” and my baby’s father is 6’2”. We’re both of hearty stock – in fact, he has two older daughters both of whom were over 9 pounds at birth. Unfortunately, I’m adopted and do not know how much I weighed at birth.
IMO, inducing or scheduling a c/s in hopes of avoiding the small chance of shoulder dystocia, tearing, etc is a ROTEN idea. There are studies A PLENTY out there that invalidate his assertions and quite frankly speak to the contrary. One was done by the American Association of Family Physicians. You can find it at www.aafp.org/afp/20010115/302.html. What I like best about this particular write up is that it's very easy to read. You can also go to www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi and look up terms like "fetal macrosomia" and find additional studies there. What about taking some of those studies in with you to your next appt. Sometimes it's helpful to go armed with info to see how evidenced based this OB practices.

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I’ve been putting my OB off on inducing so far b/c I believe in my body’s ability to give birth normally and naturally, at least I’d sure like to TRY first before just assuming that I can’t do it. I also don’t believe that inducing only a week past my due date is really giving my daughter (or my body) a chance to go into labor on it’s own first, which I know is the best thing for her (and me).
Studies show that if you are going the c/s route it is better for mom (breastfeeding) and baby to have the benefit of going into labor first. Birth is a whole body experience and when one piece of the puzzle is missing complications can arise.

AND, if he schedules an induction or a c/s you can always not show up. What are they going to do, haul you in? (they're not)

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I had always planned on a drug free, intervention free birth (I hired a Doula to ensure this), but as my due date grew closer, it seems my OB’s attempts to instill fear in me grew stronger as well …

NOTE: he also thought I had GD, but I’ve been testing my glucose levels 4 times a day (fasting in the morning and 2 hours after every meal) and my levels are in the 78 - 92 range.

Perhaps b/c of my age, and b/c I worked in a hospital for over 10 years, as well as all the reading I’ve done over the past 9+ months (i.e. “Official Lamaze Guide”, “Adventures in Natural Childbirth”, “Birthing From Within”, “Immaculate Deception”, to name just a few), I am NOT easily intimidated or swayed by his fear tactics. I’m willing to go to at least the end of 41-42 weeks before agreeing to induction and have told him so.
I really don't mean to sound flip as I don't know your exact situation, but have you considered switching care providers? Seriously. This OB doesn't believe that you can birth this baby. He has told you as much. Do you trust that he won't sabotage your efforts when you're in labor b/c of his own fears? The power of suggestion in labor can be a VERY strong thing, no matter how quality your support team is. I mean them no disrespect, but there are women who had the best of support teams that crumbled when rubber hit the road. Women have transfered CPs in labor - I firmly believe it's never too late.

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Was just curious as to YOUR thoughts about being able to realistically birth a 10+ pound baby vaginally (and drug/intervention free), in an large metro area teaching hospital environment (Long Beach Memorial) that has already a high C-Section and epidural/episiotomy rate, etc.
Seriously? Probably not very good. Not because you can't do it, but because the system you'll be entering already has the cards stacked against you. Still, is it possible? Yup! You'd have to be ready to go in kicking and screaming and be ready for the fight of your life. IMO no woman should have to labor like that, but it's been done! It would be a good idea, if this is what you want to do, to make sure you've done your research (not saying you haven't) and made sure that you eliminate as many interventions as possible that can undermine your vb attempts. AND you've got to be sure that your support team is willing to go down fighting.

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Anything you can tell me would be greatly appreciated. I guess I just want to know that I’m not just being stubborn here, rather empowering myself to make a choice that will best serve my daughter and I.
You aren't being stubborn! Get that phrase out of your vocabulary. It's unfair that that phrase is used on anyone who wants to fight against the norm. You have the right to determine what's going to happen to your body. The law is on your side - you have the right to turn down any intervention! Trust yourself, trust your instincts. You know what's best for you and your dd! Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Also, don't think in terms of the doctor "letting" you do this or that. He's your employee - you're letting him attend your labor. He's not "delivering" the baby - you're birthing this baby!!!

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I'm certainly encouraged by the posts I've read thus far ... but I'm also feeling worn out and exhausted by my doctor and friends insisting all the time that it's MORE important that I have a healthy baby than the way I actually give birth to her. While I agree in principle w/ that theory, I do believe that medical interventions are used much too frequently and that if possible, I'd prefer to do this the "old fashioned" way... w/o drugs, moving around, etc.
My suggestion - take your phone off the hook, stop answering calls, and tell the well wishers to keep their opinions to themselves. NO ONE can guarantee a healthy baby - no induction or c/s can guarantee a healthy baby. Inductions and c/s can go wrong, too. There are NO guarantees in life. You are not making the choices you are because you want some idealized experience. You are doing so because you believe it's the best way to have a healthy baby. PERIOD.

Seriously - get yourself on over to ICAN if you haven't already. Not meaning any disrespect to the moms here (although I'm fairly certain many of them are ICAN moms, too!), but it would be worth it to have one more cheering section (and possible some local ICAN moms in your area that can help you through this IRL) in your corner!! Sooooo many moms have gone through the exact situation you find yourself in and can help you through it. Many moms have the info/studies you'll need (much more so than I can) to help you be better prepared and speak ob.

Have faith in yourself. Your body made this sweet little babe and your body CAN birth this babe. I know what it's like to be worn down with the big baby card - I wasn't as knowledgeable as you are. I wish I had known half of what you had know - perhaps I would have been able to stand up to my OB. Your a brave momma and I KNOW you can do it.
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#26 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 04:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Have faith in yourself. Your body made this sweet little babe and your body CAN birth this babe. I know what it's like to be worn down with the big baby card - I wasn't as knowledgeable as you are. I wish I had known half of what you had know - perhaps I would have been able to stand up to my OB. Your a brave momma and I KNOW you can do it. [/QUOTE]

I wanted to thank everyone for their comments and support. It has really helped. My OB, who I am staying with for a lot of different reasons, has backed off the big baby/less likely VBAC talk. He has actually said, "Hey, let's not focus on that, it will be psychologically draining." Hmmm....you think?

I am delivering in the UK, in a hospital, with a reputation for being "too posh to push" country. I really feel like it is my only real option for a lot of reasons. (BTW, I had a medwife last time, which was in many ways worse than having a useless OB.) My mom, who birthed 8 children, is coming and my DH is on board that no one with a negative vibe is allowed in the room. Period. I am coming to the conclusion that the biggest "battle" is going to be warding off the "you want a healthy baby" talk. Uh, why yes, I DO want a healthy baby, and I would like to stay healthy in mind and body too! Remember me, a person too! I really believe that I am as likely, if not more likely, to have problems with interventions than without. Do people have thoughts on good positions for opening the pelvis? I have been reading a lot, but it all is kind of a blur.......

Jasper, let us know how it goes. You can do it!!!!!
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#27 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 01:04 PM
 
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[QUOTE=jen6]Do people have thoughts on good positions for opening the pelvis? I have been reading a lot, but it all is kind of a blur.......
QUOTE]

You might want to check into getting something called the "Pink Kit" as it was designed to give you the knowledge you need to understand your unique body structure and how it works. You can get it from ICAN (https://www.ican-online.org/store/pr...5&cat=0&page=1) or you can also visit the company's website at www.birthingbetter.com. I don't know what your time frame is and whether it will get to the UK in time, but it's worth a shot.

You'll also want to check out www.spinningbabies.com. Baby positioning is just as important as mamma's laboring/birthing position. They're both part of a intricate dance! :0)

HTH!
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#28 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 03:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mommyofanna,isaac
I tried a vbac and my baby died. He was only 8lbs 15oz but his shoulders got stuck. Make sure you look and all the possibilities of things that can go wrong. an u/s can be done to check the size of your pelvis and your baby. This wasn't done for me. my story is on here under "my son shouldn't have died" i'm not trying to scare you, but I wish someone would have warned me. Losing my baby 5 hours after he was born is the worst thing i have ever faced- don't let it happen to you.
I am so sorry for your loss.

To the op...
My first baby was 8 lbs 15 oz --and ultrasound predicted she would be 10 lbs!
My second baby was predicted to be bigger. THANK GOD I tried for vbac. Even though I still had a c-section, I avoided the standard 38 week c-section.
Why does this matter?
My supposedly huge baby boy was born at 42 weeks at 8 lbs 7 oz...
Thank goodness I didn't let them take him 2 weeks earlier.
Be very careful trusting ultrasound for size. It is not accurate.

Oh, and I also agree that your body makes the size it can birth.
I truly believe that good practitioners help a woman birth in positions that will help the process along safely. Don't doubt your body...doubt your ob.
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#29 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by IansMommy
Don't doubt your body...doubt your ob.
:
I think our biggest problems occur when we blindly follow dr's orders. That's not to say that their experience and education are for naught, but it is important to remember they are human beings, too. They have fears and doubts that plague them just like anyone else. It would be wonderful if all drs could operate as a neutral third party, but that's just simply unrealistic.

A dose of healthy skepticism is always warranted - especially when it comes to the health of you and your baby!
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#30 of 39 Old 06-08-2006, 09:51 PM
 
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41 Weeks tomorrow and counting ....

Had my Fetal Diagnostic non-stress testing (per OB's request) this morning and everything looked really GREAT. She's moving a lot, there is plenty of amniotic fluid, the placenta is healthy (not deteriorating) and our heart rates are both strong. I'm really not worried about her at all, at least not at this point. Why should I be? She's only 6 days late, and as many of you have personally attested, first time moms are regularly late w/ their first babies.

I'd like my doctor to give her and I a little more time to progress w/o medical interventions. So, I've been walking, using my birthing ball, visualizing, reading my childbirth books (am now reading "Immaculate Deception II"), and generally stalling my doctor (who is still concerned about a giant baby), etc. but sometimes the medical system just wants to wear you down.

Goodness knows, they are NOT used to a woman walking in past her due date saying, "Hey, it's cool. Let's wait and give her some more time." They are far more used to women hollering for pain meds and inductions and saying "Get this baby out!"... But, that just ain't me. It's fine if other women want to do that -- each of us has our own choices to make. It's just not a choice for me.

Really, I've never felt so strong, patient and willing to WAIT for something in my whole life. I believe in her and I believe in me. I believe in the process. Crazy? Yeah, some of you probably think I am. And that's okay too.

I'm scheduled to go back for another fetal non-stress test on Monday at 9:15am and was scheduled to see my OB tomorrow morning at 8:45am for another vaginal exam. Since I agree that repeated checking on my dilation/effacement levels doesn't actually HELP me progress labor-wise, and since todays diagnostics went so well, I cancelled my OB appointment for tomorrow. He's booked solid for Monday, so hopefully they'll leave me alone till at least Tuesday. Meanwhile, we can all cross our fingers that she arrives of her OWN volition before then.

I wish ALL women could have the benefit of real support and encouragement while pregnant and during labor/delivery. Reclaiming our power as strong and capable beings would go a long way toward convincing modern medicine that women can indeed birth normally and naturally 90 percent (or more) of the time. This experience has certainly inspired me to be an advocate for exactly that...

Thanks to everyone who commented on my original post. I'm SO glad to have found this message board!

Hugs,

Cheryl ~

"Well-behaved women seldom make history..."
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