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Originally Posted by lauraheartslittle1
I still have major regrets about the experience. Everyone keeps telling me, "but you had a healthy baby." And that is true. I love my dc more than anything/anyone else in the world. But I need to find a way to move on from this.
Originally Posted by rsatz
Another post c/s mama seeking healing here. I'm preg w/ my 2nd child and am trying to find something...well, maybe not closure, since that experience will always be what it was, but...a place to move on from. To that end, I'm trying some craniosacral therapy with a local midwife/craniosacral practitioner who specializes in this particular kind of "healing". My 1st appt. isn't until the 21st, but I'd love to pm you with how successful or no I feel that practice was for me.
My heart goes out to you. Best of luck in this period of processing.
|The other part of my struggle is just flat out fear that I will go through it again and maybe not be able to handle it.|
Originally Posted by warrior mama
namjaball - Such conflicting emotions can be so hard to deal with. I truely believe giving up the idea of control can help
Originally Posted by jen6
Some areas that were helpful for me to think about were:
1) insensitve comments and how to not internalize them.....
2) learning from the experience, taking charge of the next birth, but not taking on all the blame/responsibility/guilt for what happened
3)seeing each birth as its own event
4)breaking the experience down into parts and looking at the areas that were most distressing (drawing really helped me to do this)---e.g., for me, it was kind of surprising that when I dug deeper, the fact they took my son away unnecessarily to the NICU was the single most traumatic part of the whole experience, and not the physical torture they put me through on the pitocin. Oddly enough, once I realized I could and would prevent this from happening next time, my grief lessened. There are lots of things that you can do the 2nd time to make it different, this is an absolute!!
5) question the "dramatized" birth experience that we are steeped in from little on...whether it is the screaming woman or the woman bathed in golden light with her baby sliding out into the waiting arms of her partner You birthed a baby, and did it under incredibly difficult circumstances, don't let other people take that away from you, and don't take it away from yourself.
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