I saw the midwife today, the one we had hoped to have for our HBAC. Apparently, the atmosphere surrounding VBAC right now is very negative. I had some idea that it was that way, but thought it was mainly among OB's and not midwives. Anyway, this midwife, whom I trust, said she would not HBAC with me but would VBAC me at her birth center if I really really wanted to. But I'd have to have fetal monitoring. She suggested using an OB practice that also has a CPM because they are the most VBAC-friendly in north TX. It looks like we may end up with a hospital VBAC.
What confused me was something she said in regards to my ability to "vaginally birth a baby." She said that because my first son was born at 8 pounds 13 ounces that we "may even want to induce at 38 weeks using Cytotec".
I was so taken aback that I really had nothing to say to that, but honestly, doesn't she know that ANY induction methods will most certainly ruin my chances for a successful VBAC? Am I destined to have a hospital attempt at a VBAC where they force me to be induced and I end up with another csection?
I'm scared. I don't know what to do. My gut tells me to give up now because I cannot for the life of me stand another ATTEMPTED normal birth and end up with the complete opposite. I know that no other midwives in my area will take a primary VBAC, I've checked. At least if I choose this hospital I will have CPM care througout and they are rumored to be very supportive of VBACers.
This is going to be our last baby. I had so wanted a healing birth, the one I always dreamed about before Shea was born. I spent the last 2 years healing from his birth. I joined ICAN, HBAC groups, etc. I have worked hard for this, I deserve it. But now how do I achieve it?
Any thoughts are appreciated.