failed vbac..failed to progress - Mothering Forums
VBAC > failed vbac..failed to progress
subha's Avatar subha 02:37 PM 11-20-2006
hi all,

I had my water broke at midnight nov 12th ,i just changed the provider and i didnt get a chance to meet the ob's at the myself and my husband were confused to go to which the old one or the new hospital which fully supports vbac..finally we decided to go to the new one in emergency and after two hrs we were at the hospital,at that time i was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced,the doctor who was on-call was so angry at us that without the records they couldnt allow me for vbac,we told them the records are at ur office..then she called our old ob who was oncall in the hospital..she had transferred the records and thank god another ob came in for oncall at 7 am in the morning,she was very supportive and after reading my records she let me try for vbac...i had let out most of the water and the baby was doing fine in the monitor 7.30 in the morning i was 3 cm dilated and 75% effaced -1 station ,but didnt drop afterwards..and i didnt get any intese pain no matter what i tried to get pain..they said they wouldnt induce me as there was 17 months gap between the two deliveries and i had an infection after the first c/ they waited till 5.00 in the evening ,and as all the water has come out and still there was no progress ..the doctor said it seems like the babies head is stuck between the bones and it couldnt drop down it is safe at this point for u and ur baby to go for repeat c/s...we couldnt think of anyother thing and we accepted for c/s..and the baby was born at 5.38 pm on monday...the recovery isnt much bad as it was for the first baby...i feel like i started to recover so early ..its been a week and i dont feel any discomfort far i didnt get any infection over the husband checks for it every day and night and make sure there is any difference in the we both are fine and the doctors checked for the baby's lungs if everything is fine ...he is doing great and apgar scores were 9 and 9.satisfied with what happened but still...i feel like i wasnt able to do what i should do as a mother(maybe as a female)....

chlorita's Avatar chlorita 03:15 PM 11-20-2006
hey mama, I'm sorry for the loss of your VBAC but you did your best! Thank you for letting your baby choose when he was ready to be born, even though it turned out to be a cection.

Congratulations on your new baby!!!

you are a great mom!
Mama2E&O's Avatar Mama2E&O 03:22 PM 11-20-2006
I'm sorry that you didn't get your VBAC. Chlorita is right, you did your best!
Congratulations on the birth of your baby, and enjoy your babymoon!
velcromom's Avatar velcromom 03:25 PM 11-20-2006
First, congrats on your new little one! Glad to hear he's doing well.

second, you aren't alone... and it's perfectly ok to feel negative about the surgery but positive about the baby.

Enjoy your babymoon, & when you feel ready to process those feelings you might consider joining a group of women who have been through that too and understand what it's like. has an email list where the moms are super supportive, very knowledgeable and won't try to sugarcoat or dismiss what you know you are feeling.
Drummer's Wife's Avatar Drummer's Wife 05:07 PM 11-20-2006
Congrats on your new baby. I so know how you are feeling. Just know you did what you could and the most important thing is that you and your little one are healthy.

Enjoy the happiness of a brand new baby that you brought into this world and maybe wait a while to deal with your feelings of another section.
TanyaS's Avatar TanyaS 12:13 AM 11-21-2006
to you! I'm sorry the birth didn't go as planned. Your little one was able to benefit from your labor and your baby chose his birthdate. That is a gift that some babies do not get when their mother has had a previous c/s.

As another poster mentioned, it is ok to have mixed feelings about a healthy baby and another c/s. to you, mama!
richella's Avatar richella 04:04 AM 11-21-2006
Originally Posted by subha View Post
...i feel like i wasnt able to do what i should do as a mother(maybe as a female)....
You did great.

IMO having a c/s is a huge sacrifice that you were willing to make for your baby. (Obviously you didn't want to, but when the time came you did.) There's nothing that you "should" have done that you didn't.

So glad your recovery is better than the last!
veronicalynne's Avatar veronicalynne 04:36 AM 11-21-2006
Congratulations on your baby. Please don't doubt yourself as a woman or a mother carried this baby for 9 months and you did your best in made the hardest decision you could ever make for your baby and that is exactly what a mother and a woman does.
Ms Ladybug's Avatar Ms Ladybug 05:29 AM 11-27-2006
I've been following your posts and hoped for the best for you.
You are in NO way any less a mom, or a female...your body made a beautiful and healthy baby...WAY TO GO!
You did great. This time, you came armed with information and gave it your best shot. You didn't listen to conventional "medical advice". You made informed the end, you did what was best for your baby. You made a very difficult decision, but you were educated on the matter.
Please discuss your birth and don't ever be ashamed of it!