Scaremongering, coercion and outright lies...What did they say to you? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 82 Old 04-04-2007, 02:18 AM
 
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I never got any scaremongering from my OB office. They all seemed to be supportive, they didn't give me any stats or risks. They answered all my questions, but never tried to scare me. Everything was great until I hit 40 weeks and my midwife told me that NOBODY in their office is allowed to go past 41 weeks (not true) and that if I didn't go in to labor within the next week I was having a c-section. I had already decided not to go to my appointment that Monday, but Sunday my water broke, I did not have many contractions, I was strapped down to the hospital bed unable to move, was only 1-2 cm dilated, and ended up with a repeat c/s 36 hours after the SROM. I hated that office starting when I was 40 weeks.

Also- the OB that was on call for my c/s was one that I had never seen. He actually told me that he hated dealing with VBAC moms b/c when they failed he had to do a c/s on a big baby which was riskier than doing it routine at 38 weeks. I was carrying my dd more towards my back, so I did not look very big at 41 weeks. He did not make my incision long enough, had to deliver her with forceps, and left a huge bruise on her cheek for the first couple weeks of her life. She was 9lbs 2oz. He was really the most unsupportive person I had seen my entire pregnancy. My water broke in the morning on a Sunday, on Sunday evening he told me to just to the c-section b/c it was not likely that I was going to go in to labor and have the baby within 24 hours since I was only 1cm at that point. I refused and he was not happy. So he loved the fact that the next evening I was heading to the OR- just because he knew he was right.

C- mama to K (8) and A (5.5) (8w5d) 10/08, new baby O-2.11.10
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#62 of 82 Old 05-01-2007, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#63 of 82 Old 05-06-2007, 09:42 PM
 
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When I was pregnant in '98 with my 2nd, I wanted a VBAC. I don't think I even heard of a homebirth back then. I trusted that Doc knew what was best. I saw a different OB, & she told me a VBAC was really risky, that she just had a mom die in front of her from a rupture. I believed her that a repeat was safer, so I scheduled a repeat.

With my third, I was going for a VBA2C with an OB. I learned more about VBAC, but not enough to stay out of the OB's office! I ended up having no fluid, & was told to get to the hospital NOW because the baby could die. I was scared...so scared. I really wish I would of known better....I wish I had a decent Dr tell me just to go home & down water like there was no tomorrow...yea right. Instead, those jerks just scared me out of my mind again.

My last wasn't much better. I was trying for a homebirth, & my cervix wouldn't dilate fast enough or move anterior fast enough for the midwife. She wanted to intervene....I didn't want her to. It was really messed up.

Next time I will most likely go unassisted. I can't trust anyone anymore.

 

  

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#64 of 82 Old 05-06-2007, 11:09 PM
 
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Well...
My first section was for "fetal distress." His heart rate dipped...twice. Wow. Yeah, well, I was jacked on Pit...no crap, right? :
They acted like it was a full blown emergency.
Second section was a lame VBAC attempt. 4 days HARD labor all jacked on Pit, of course...sectioned for "failure to progress." THIS is where my belief of "I am broke - I don't work" stems from. Actually, I work perfectly. I was in utter TERROR, my body was fighting the Pit. and stopping the labor - seems to me it was doing it's job perfectly. Anyhow...
Third section was elective repeat.
Was told during that section - DURING! - that if I EVER conceived agian I would die. No if's, and's or but's...I would DIE, the baby would DIE...I HAD to have a tubal.
I declined. THANK GOD!
Fourth section was elective repeat. I had at this point done some looking into VBAC but just wasn't "there" yet. Went ahead with the section.
TTC #5 now. I will VBAC come hell or high water.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#65 of 82 Old 05-07-2007, 05:28 AM
 
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Let's see...

With baby #1 doc told me my bp was too high and she needed to induce me. Turns out it was borderline at one appointment only where I expressed anxiety anyway and doc was going out of town the following week, hmmm...

I guess then there was the lie of omission, as I had expressed to her several times that I wanted to avoid a cesarean, but no explanation that either the induction or the early epidural would increase my risk.

Then when they wanted to section me and I asked if I could have more time to labor. They told me it was no use.

Then when I was pg with #2 and told her I wanted a VBAC, she said I would kill my baby and need a hysterectomy.

Dropped her fast after that.

New Doc with #2 trying to push an epidural on me telling me the epidural didn't cause my bp to plummet during labor with #1 and it doesn't increase risk of c/s

I guess that's about it, not as bad as some, but the lies of my first doc caused my c-section.

homeschool.gifmama to two boys 10 & 8vbac.gif

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#66 of 82 Old 05-08-2007, 03:56 PM
 
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My OB is the one that first told me to consider having a VBAC. Then they found out that my records were missing from my first birth, and decided (without any input from me) that I was no longer "allowed" to VBAC and I was going to have a cesarean. By then I had done my research and protested.

They told me that I would (not might) kill my baby and possibly if I had a vaginal birth (not even talking natural or out of the hospital). When I didn't waiver in my resolve to attempt a VBAC, they turned to my husband and asked him if he was willing to "let" me kill HIS child. It was disgusting.
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#67 of 82 Old 05-08-2007, 04:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jenlaana View Post
When I didn't waiver in my resolve to attempt a VBAC, they turned to my husband and asked him if he was willing to "let" me kill HIS child. It was disgusting.
Goshalmighty!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#68 of 82 Old 05-08-2007, 04:21 PM
 
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Goshalmighty!
My thoughts exactly. I count my blessings every day that I have such a strong and supportive husband. I had gotten him totally up to speed on all of my research (and he had done some of his own) and luckily for me, when they tried to make him choose, he told them where to shove it. I don't know what I would have done without him.
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#69 of 82 Old 05-09-2007, 11:50 PM
 
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I guess I'm outside the norm, because my high-risk perinatologist guided me through a successful VBAC with my last pregnancy. He laid out the risks for me either way and told me that in the ongoing research study that he actually was co-author on, the comparative risk of uterine rupture in VBAC was higher than that of repeat elective C-section, but the overall risk was still extremely low, and therefore if I wanted to attempt VBAC, he supported me in that. And he did, and I had a great VBAC, even though I had a *gasp* OB...

I'm curious -- was that Dr. Mark Landon by any chance? I heard him speak on VBAMC at the ICAN conference, and he was very interesting. I also thought he was a very brave OB, to face that group of mamas!

Kelly, blessed to be with Stephen, and mama to three little ladies with huge hearts:, lotsa energy:, and curious minds.
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#70 of 82 Old 05-10-2007, 07:48 PM
 
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Well, from what I know it is any number of the following list of things:
  • $$$ for the hospital/their pocket
  • Fear of malpractice lawsuits
  • Insurance premiums too high, thus ins. comp. won't "allow" them to
  • Mis- Education, oh, and only a select few are willing to take a schoolin' from an "uneducated lay person", like me for instance.
  • Fear of unknown/ don't want to get scoffed at by other docs
  • ... gosh, I'm runnin out of gas here... ummm, no faith in a women's power or ability to birth on her own.
That is all I got for now, there are probably more reasons, and we all know these are all very complex thoughts and I am typing this quick, so I made it really simple and short, cuz I gotta go to the toilet....
I wish I could say it is down to moolah, but getting a VBAC on the NHS is apparently getting increasingly difficult and doctors don't worry about their insurance premiums the same way here. And it costs hospitals more for CS births so their interest is in having fewer, not more.

But, despite having much more of a midwife culture here, VBAC is considered an automatic high risk delivery. You can't be booked in for birth centre, and you'll be shifted to consultant led care (previous CS is one of the MLC led exclusion criteria). I'm not sure if they'd support home birth since the official info is that HB is for "women who meet midwifery-led criteria".

DD 01/2007, DS 09/2011

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#71 of 82 Old 05-11-2007, 02:04 AM
 
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My OB started with the "big baby" fears around 20 weeks. Funnily enough the ultrasound measured only one day ahead of my edd.
Then at 38 weeks she all of a sudden decided that my pelvis was "too small". After the cesarean at our 6 week follow up she said "I bet next time you'll let me do a cesarean at 38 weeks" and when I replied that I planned a VBAC she told me I would never deliver a baby over 6# and that there was a high chance of uterine rupture and that they were too dangerous.
Needless to say I consulted with a midwife a week later to go over my birth records.
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#72 of 82 Old 05-11-2007, 08:12 AM
 
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After the cesarean at our 6 week follow up she said "I bet next time you'll let me do a cesarean at 38 weeks" and when I replied that I planned a VBAC she told me I would never deliver a baby over 6# and that there was a high chance of uterine rupture and that they were too dangerous.
Wow 6lbs... I'm not a medical person but I just cant imagine any normal woman not being able to birth a baby over 6lbs :
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#73 of 82 Old 12-04-2007, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#74 of 82 Old 12-04-2007, 11:06 AM
 
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I had an u/s at approx. 40 weeks (according to their dates, by my LMP I was not at 40 weeks yet, a 12 week u/s moved up my due date) to "check to see if there is enough fluid." Well, they estimated my DD to be 9lbs10oz.
The midwife told me over the phone that I needed a c-section because I had grown my baby "too big" we refused to schedule without going in and talking about it. SHe handed us over to one of the OB's. He said "You can say you aren't going to sue me, but you might so I really have to talk you into a c-section." He trash talked homebirth midwives (probably would have been my only salvation at that point), told me a horror story about SD with a six pound baby, told me that they had missed GD, but there was no way to determine it at that point, and that the fact that my body was not going into labor (even though I wasn't tech. 40 weeks yet) was a sign that my baby was too big for me.
So, she was born by scheduled c-section on her original due date at 9lb8.5oz
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#75 of 82 Old 12-04-2007, 12:04 PM
 
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My c/s happened for a number of reasons. First being that I handed over control over my birth to others .. either because they knew better or I wanted to make them happy.

Example: My first OB was a horrid woman that my MIL picked out. I left her at 15 weeks. I wanted a midwife, but my mom talked me into seeing an OB that was by her.. that was an hour away. I thought it was okay because he was "hands off". I learned my lesson then. If they are hands off at the start, they are not likely to stay that way when it really counts!!

At 40 weeks2 days (which was a Saturday), my OB stripped my membrains. He also had me schedule for an induction that monday, even though I wasn't going to go. Saturday night/Sunday morning my water broke. Contractions started. I got to the hospital at 3am. I was 2cm. Once I got there, I was not allowed to move around. Every time I went to the bathroom, the nurse was outside the door.. PACING. Telling me to hurry up. She did not like me moving. She also would not give me a heplock, and I didnt know better then to ask for someone else. I should have. I never ever should have given up my right to MOVE.

I was threatened with pitocin if i didnt dilate to x. Then, even when
i did they still gave it to me. I was told there was nothing else they could give me for pain but the epidural. My contractions were tough to go through. The Pit only made them worse, so I opted for the Epi at 4 cm (7am).
I dilated to 10 by 2pm. First, they had to pit turned up way way too high, then the epi started coming out of my back. When I was having blinding back pain, the nurse took it as a sign I should push. She said I was zero station, but really, I was -1.

I pushed for two hours. Nothing. I was degraded for not pushing good enough, for not trying hard enough. My OB came and called it. The baby was not coming down, and my pushes werent doing anything.. because he wasnt in the right place to push down. I asked for 20 more minutes, and I got it. But it was clear that the baby was not dropping down.

I found out later, my OB had been sued for NOT doing a c-section that year. *sigh*

I was told a lot of crap. That the baby was "too big" (he was 8 pounds 2 oz ). . etc. A few days after surgery, I saw my OB. The FIRST thing I did was ask him about VBAC. He was shocked that I was thinking of that so soon, and said that he didn't know. Even though we were just days out from my surgery.
He said that we'd have to "wait and see".

After that, my mom switched to him. When she "snitched" on me that I wanted to HBAC. He came down really hard, and told her it was stupid and dangerous. That I could *maybe* VBAC at a hospital, but that would all depend. Doing it at home would be reckless, and dangerous.

I still havent been able to force myself to get my records of my sons birth from him. I am still too mad.

We are due for our second child in the start of April. Since we are likely done after this, this is my last chance for HBAC, and a normal birth.
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#76 of 82 Old 12-04-2007, 08:51 PM
 
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My VBAC turned c/s after the Dr threatened to call CPS on me if I refused the c/s. Nobody was in distress, the Dr just didn't want to wait around, and said as much. I had been in the hospital for about 4 hours.

Before labor, no one tried to scare me with anything, and I thought I had a really supportive medical backup. I was wrong.
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#77 of 82 Old 12-05-2007, 02:42 AM
 
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My VBAC turned c/s after the Dr threatened to call CPS on me if I refused the c/s. Nobody was in distress, the Dr just didn't want to wait around, and said as much. I had been in the hospital for about 4 hours.

Before labor, no one tried to scare me with anything, and I thought I had a really supportive medical backup. I was wrong.
:I'm sorry that happened to you.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#78 of 82 Old 12-05-2007, 03:53 PM
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When I was pg with my twins for my first pregnancy, I saw a peri for my primary care, which was fine, since I was clueless (and almost lost the babies at 18w). I ended up with a c after an induction.

When I got pg with DS, I went back to the same peri. At my 2nd appt, they wanted to schedule my c. I was only about 10w at the time. I was mortified. DH and I left one of my evening appts, and in the hallway on our way out, he turned and said "you know, your baby could be born "d" "e" "a" "d" (yes - he spelled it out for me... what??!!! and in the hallway???!!!) I stayed with him until 18w, at which point, I drilled him to pieces with questions (infront of an intern) and he nearly shrunk to half his size. I left my appt, and went immediately to a mw practice down the road. I switched immediately.

Turns out, after a wonderful labor, I ended up with another c, but at least the decisions along the way were in my hands and I still feel really proud of my care, my decisions, and everything we did.

This time around, we're with the same mw practice (hospital based, backed by o.b.'s) and they're letting me do a vba2c, so long as it isn't a 10lb+ baby. Fair enough. They told me to eat less doritoes... LOL!

susan

twins 7.02 ⢠DS 10.06 ⢠OMG #4 1.08 ⢠ebf + tandem nursing!
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#79 of 82 Old 02-13-2008, 01:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#80 of 82 Old 02-13-2008, 08:11 PM
 
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This isn't mine but a birth I was at recently. Preterm labour so although a planned UBA2C the mama went to hospital as she thought she was ill rather than in labour. Discovered at the hospital she was in labour! What a shock. Her baby was born still sadly but the staff were just so bizarre.

Surgeon: "You're 10cm dilated, we'll prep you for theatre." Of course we said NO but she was so taken aback since I doubt anyone ever says no to her that she got all flustered and started banging on about how her scars would rupture. Yeah whatever. At 10cm dilation you think they're going to explode now?? Whatever.

Then it was onto dire time warnings about getting the baby out NOW. They were picking up a fhr with the EFM but we were pretty sure it was the mother's hb as the baby was still and his mother felt he was dead. Still, having the trace was allowing us to argue everything was fine since the staff didn't seem to realise it couldn't be the baby's hb when he was preterm and she was on hands and knees and the monitor was somehow miraculously picking up a hr even just before he crowned... Obviously they love their machines.

Afterwards a mw raced up to the bed with a synto jab and said, "I have to give you this or you'll bleed." Uh really? Was that informed consent? The mw was pulling on the cord without permission till I told her to STOP while the woman was still crying and waiting on the resus team to see if they could revive her baby!

Overall the staff were disgusting, quite frankly. It's always a tragic reminder about why I wouldn't wish hospital "birth" on my worst enemy.
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#81 of 82 Old 02-14-2008, 10:11 AM
 
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My c/s birth is an advertisment for having a doula. After 2 hours of pushing on my back, I asked if I could squat or get on my side and was told 'no'. I was too tired to argue/advocate and DH says he didn't hear me. A half hour later, the doc called for the c/s and I just wanted to be done.

After lots of double talk from my OB with number two (You can TRY for the vbac, BUT...), I switched to a midwife and decided to homebirth. At my 40w appointment, the mw heard something funky with baby's hr, so we went to the hospital for a NST. Yes, she had a DEVICE and could hear it! Amazing!! (So many people are surprised at that)

The nurses first found out that we were doing a vbac and told me how dangerous they were. Then, they found out we were hbacing...lol. We really got the lectures, then. DH and I are non-confrontational, so we just let them talk but I was TICKED off. My bp at the mw appt in the morning was 94 over something, and at the hospital it was 134/something. White coat syndrome (probably would have lead to another c/s), obviously.

One nurse seemed to imply that she had seen quite a lot of u/r. Obviously, you people are screwing things up with with inductions, lots of pain meds, etc. Figure it out!!

The NST looked great. It was probably just second nature, but as we were leaving the nurses kept saying things like, "We'll see you soon." Well, not to be rude, ladies, but me seeing you means my HBAC isn't going to happen. I never want to see you again.

They also pleaded with us to 'Please be sure to you come to the hospital if something goes wrong.' Uh, really? I had never thought of that! I had been planning on hbacing come heck or high water...no matter if something DID happen and there was a problem with me or the baby.

Sheesh.

Oh, it was an incredibly successful hbac!
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#82 of 82 Old 02-19-2008, 08:27 PM
 
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Okay,

Maybe this should be linked to something so 1st time pg women can read it as a cautionary tale...

I was lucky enough to be in the care of one of the cooler midwives when they allowed me to go almost 3 wks. past dates (which meant they wanted to do a BPP on us way too much). So, after visiting the acupuncturist to get my labor going (to no avail), I had to go to the hospital to get induced. My cervix was not even close to being ripe when they went ahead and tortured my baby and myself with pitocin for 8 hours (and big surprise--nothing happened!). The doc on call checked the EFM tapes (ridiculous waste of paper), said that her opinion was that I needed a c-section because the baby was in distress (from her observation of the EFM tapes). The midwives at the hospital had NO power to change the docs recommendation and were hoping that the doc would "let me labor through the night." Since the doc scared us into it, we went with the c-section. My son was born with an almost perfect apgar score, and the waters were meconium-free. DS DID have the cord wrapped around his neck and had tied a nice knot in it as well (not a big deal, according to the midwives). The doc who cut me open later told me that I would probably need another c/s unless I had a much smaller baby (DS was only 7 lbs.!).

SO, truth be told, I don't know if I've been lied to since I haven't conceived #2 yet, BUT if you read Henci Goer you will know a few things. EFM is not accurate, 45% of inductions end in c/s, most VBAC attempts are successful, and the docs like to get those babies out ASAP (and they certainly don't mind cutting you to do it). Another thing--hospital midwives and doulas are wonderful people to have at your birth, but the docs are the ones who get to make the final decisions and set hospital protocols (at least where DS was born). Anyway, sorry for the angry tone, I actually am very grateful for DS, he is the light of my life. I hope this helps you all!
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