oh my...my OB has gone crazy! (possible TMI) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 04:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sooooo....

I saw my OB today and really "delved" into their VBAC philosophy. There had been a few red flags, and then I saw a specialist a few weeks ago who promised to write a letter to my doctor telling them I shouldn't have a VBAC, and...well...I was getting nervous that I'd chosen the wrong care provider.

So she showed me the letter the specialist had sent and was very apologetic. She has no concerns at all about my VBAC, my probable success at VBAC, or anything of that nature. The one thing she might suggest a repeat c/s for is if I have a prolonged period of very strong contractions without any progress (and her definition of prolonged and very strong were, in my mind, fair)...so that was fine. She even suggested talking to the local homebirth midwives to see if any of them would doula for me since none of the local doulas have VBAC experience but some of the midwives do.

Then things got wild. First she explained that in her experience VBAC mamas who haven't yet had a vaginal birth can run into emotional and even physical "roadblocks" in terms of the physical experience of moving a baby thorugh the vaginal passage. She said VBAC mamas tend to worry alot, and think a lot, and get hung up on possible problems and risks and all those other things. So she has a standard Rx for VBAC mamas...

Basically, I'm supposed to spend the next 20 weeks getting out of my head and connecting to the earth by going outside each day and literally playing in the dirt. I'm supposed to forget everything "academic/technical" and practice "being juicy and free and uninhibited". And I'm supposed to have "lots and lots of sex...really let yourself go during orgasm and just let it all out". She then mimed giving birth, complete with orgasmic sound effects, and said she wanted me to practice that as well so that I have a strong physical experience as well as complete mental picture of giving birth to use during labor. So my Rx is to connect to that "juicy, sexual, opening, earth mama giving birth, bringing the baby all the way down and out" energy any way I can and practice "opening" vocally, vaginally, and emotionally.

I told her my husband was going to send her flowers...

But I'm no longer concerned that I picked the "wrong" care giver!

(sadly, she mentioned she and her partner would be leaving OB shortly after my birth since the medical/legal community is simply too hostile to natural birth)

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#2 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 04:19 PM
 
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wow that is fantastic! I think she is right about us vbac mamas thinking too much. I know I worry about everything. lol So I am going to follow her advice too!!!! Did you find her through the vbac grapevine or was she always your ob?
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#3 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 05:16 PM
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She sounds amazing! She's right about us (or me, anyway) overthinking things and causing "roadblocks". I'm going that right now Every time I think I might be going into real labor, I tense up and it goes away. I want my baby out now, dammit! If I could just figure out a way to relax she'd probably come right out.
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#4 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 05:32 PM
 
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WOW! Sure sounds like you picked a great provider! It is always refreshing to hear these stories.
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#5 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 06:05 PM
 
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agreed! wow
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#6 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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Wow, that sounds really intresting.
I do agree that us VBAC moms can tend to have emotional issues with vaginal birth. I certainly did and I'm pretty sure that is why my labor was so long. There was a lot of emotional stuff that I had to work through before progressing.
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#7 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I actually left out one of her more wild statements (can you believe it?). She told a story about one of her friends who was VBACing. As the babe crowned this mama said "Wow! there is something big and hard in there and I LIKE big hard things!" Apparently this has become something of a legend in the hospital where it took place...but my OB was using it to illustrate the similarities between getting the baby in and getting the baby out.

It's probably a good thing my mom was watching my dd in the waiting room while I was with the doctor....we're a pretty open and liberal family but there are SOME things I'd like to wait till after the toddler years to discuss. And since dd loves to imitate adults I'm pretty sure I'd be hearing my doc's birthing cries coming out of dd's throat at some amazingly inappropriate moment! Hmmm...that would probably be my (very traditional) SIL's wedding which is coming up soon.

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#8 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 07:43 PM
 
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Oh Good Golly, that really has me cracking up and grinning ear to ear! So glad you have an, ummmmm, errrrrr..., OPEN OB! :-)

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#9 of 46 Old 01-19-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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I agree about the over-thinking and stressing -- there was one lady I remember posting on a VBAC support board when I was due with my son who was literally up all night worrying about the baby being posterior in the weeks before her due date and I can't say I was overly surprised when she ended up with another c-section. But wow, I think your caregiver is wild. I don't know what I would have said if my caregiver said that to me. I would have been stunned.
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#10 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 12:38 AM
 
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That is awesome! I've realized since my DD's birth (coming up on two years ago... wow) that my behaviors were completely different from DS' birth to DD's. After DD was born, my throat was sore from grunting, yelling, etc. I really don't think I probably made a sound while pushing (for three hours! - no sound for three hours!) with DS.

Maybe if *I* had been more uninhibited w/DS, I'd have been more productive (or at least have my vocal cords already warmed up to shout NO! to the c/s. lol).


But I have also realized that I am a "pleaser" and a "performer" and the best birthing environment *for me* is one where there are no expectations and no audience.



That's so awesome about your OB, and I'm so glad you have no doubts about your care provider! Good luck with your VBAC!!!

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#11 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 12:56 AM
 
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Uhhhh : I don't know if I could put my trust in a doctor like that. Go out in the dirt? All the "juicy and free and uninhibited" isn't going to help in a medical emergency. :
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#12 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 01:20 AM
 
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you know what? an ob like that is better than the onterh 99% who wont' even let you "try" for a vbac! awesome!!!!!!!!1
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#13 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 01:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by smalltownmom3 View Post
Uhhhh : I don't know if I could put my trust in a doctor like that. Go out in the dirt? All the "juicy and free and uninhibited" isn't going to help in a medical emergency. :
Huh? Am I in the right place? *checks address bar*

Stop treating birth like a disease! In 99.9% of births this is a wonderful thing to be practicing.

And when it's not, guess what? She didn't go to medical school and rotations for NOTHING. This doctor is not some kind of blathering idiot who will never, ever do an intervention just because she has a natural, open philosophy! Geez.

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#14 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 02:02 AM
 
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VBAC mamas tend to worry alot, and think a lot
As I first read your post and read this statement, I immediately -snarkily- thought "Pffft. And I wonder why we have to worry. Could it be that the reason I'm a VBAC to begin with is because of medical standard of care???"

And then I read her recommendation.

I wonder how many people she actually tells that to, because can you just see the look on a mainstream, nonMDC mama's face? They would run as far and as fast as they could from your doctor!!
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#15 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 02:51 AM
 
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Makes me really sad that she is leaving OB.
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#16 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 02:58 AM
 
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She sounds like a real gem, OP.

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#17 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 07:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by smalltownmom3 View Post
Uhhhh : I don't know if I could put my trust in a doctor like that. Go out in the dirt? All the "juicy and free and uninhibited" isn't going to help in a medical emergency. :
You realize the doc isn't telling her to go labor or deliver in the dirt, right?

Who couldn't benefit from some healthy outside time, yk? And the "juicy and free and uninhibited" might actually help AVOID a medical "emergency" - I say this b/c my son was born by "emergency" c/s which was, in actuality, NOT an emergency (neither my son nor I were in distress, and there was certainly no rush, as I would hope there would be in a TRUE emergency) nor necessary. Had I been more "juicy and free and uninhibited", I might have had the ovaries to tell them where to stick their hospital procedures, etc. or been more vocal and forceful about refusing c/s, OR, and I so wish I'd done this, I might have pushed harder to find a midwife and have a homebirth.


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#18 of 46 Old 01-21-2007, 11:01 PM
 
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Where did you find this OB? Convince her not to leave... other women need her!

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#19 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 12:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mimiharshe View Post
you know what? an ob like that is better than the onterh 99% who wont' even let you "try" for a vbac! awesome!!!!!!!!1
Well they are doctors for a reason, and if they don't think a VBAC is safe then maybe it realy isn't safe.
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#20 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 01:04 AM
 
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Well they are doctors for a reason, and if they don't think a VBAC is safe then maybe it realy isn't safe.

Yeah, they don't think VBAC is safe for their pocketbooks - do some research about the actual risks of VBAC and make your own decision.


Assume positive intent... assume positive intent.... assume positive intent and ignorance... assume positive intent and ignorance... lol!

Asking nicely: are you sure you're in the right forum? This is the VBAC forum, where we are supportive of our VBACing mamas. We also regularly question decrees from docs that are not evidence-based. We generally do our own research and look at what the evidence says, not what the insurance company tells the docs to say.


The OP is clearly pleased with her doc (as *I* myself would be if I felt I needed/wanted a doc) and your posts have been less than supportive of that.




Lots of information here and elsewhere - if you are interested in learning more, feel free to ask! If you're not interested in learning more or supporting VBAC, then I'm not really sure why you're here?





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#21 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 01:10 AM
 
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I saw the title when looking for new posts, it stuck out, so I clicked it. I replied because this is a message board on the internet, so I gave my opinion. A doctor like that would have made me walk out immediately and off to find a normal one. And as I am dating a doctor I do know who the costs can affect their pocket books, but they also have to promise to do no harm and to do what is medically safe before worrying about the warm fuzzy feelings. I would rather have a c/s and be alive than tried a vaginal birth and not be.

eta. I had all vaginal births, just saying that if one of them would have had to be a c/s I would not have attempted my next as not if my doctor was against it.
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#22 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 01:14 AM
 
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Wow! Awesome doctor! Finally someone understands the emotional and physical connection of birth!! Soo happy for you! I wish there were tons more out there like that.
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#23 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 01:34 AM
 
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This thread is cracking me up.

OP, I love your OB-GYN. That is so funny and wonderful. I hope she doesn't give up her practice!
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#24 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 01:53 AM
 
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If life ever forces me to go to an OB I certainly hope she will be like yours. Awesome!
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#25 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 01:55 AM
 
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Well they are doctors for a reason, and if they don't think a VBAC is safe then maybe it realy isn't safe.
Do you know why OBs won't support VBAC? They can't be sued if they do a section. It's really that simple. So, no. I don't trust someone who is making their decisions based on covering their own behinds. I've done my own research and if I had a section, I would VBAC without a doubt.

Science does not support their reasoning.

-Angela
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#26 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 01:58 AM
 
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Oh I love it! How fantastic is that to get a dr. who tells you that!

The whole mimicking birth part makes me think of when Harry met Sally.

Smalltownmom this is a support forum. The post is clearly that of a joyous one. Either play nice or don't say anything at all. These women get plenty of the anti-VBAC moments without logging in here.

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#27 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 02:00 AM
 
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A doctor like that would have made me walk out immediately and off to find a normal one. And as I am dating a doctor I do know who the costs can affect their pocket books, but they also have to promise to do no harm and to do what is medically safe before worrying about the warm fuzzy feelings. I would rather have a c/s and be alive than tried a vaginal birth and not be.
That's very sad. I would rather have the OPs out of the ordinary (sounds extraordinary) doctor than a normal one anyway. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years before us and will continue to do so in the future. If birth were inherently flawed and dangerous then it would be reasonable to expect that we as a species would no longer exist.

As a side note (and somewhat OT): I see that you're relatively new to MDC. Welcome! I hope you have the chance to read lots and learn from the women here. I for one am thankful that there are so many women here who dare to do things a little bit differently!

This doctor may seem a little bit odd to you, but given some time it's certainly possible that later she may not. You might want to check out a few books - it might help you give a better understanding of where we are coming from. I'd suggest:
  • "Born in the USA" by Marsden Wagner
  • "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer
  • "The Birth Book" by Dr. William Sears
  • "Silent Knife" by Nancy Wainer
  • "Misconceptions" by Naomi Wolf

Quite frankly, with the cesarean section rate in the US at 30.2% and the US ranked second worst in infant mortality among developed countries we could use a WHOLE LOT MORE doctors just like this one.

OP - How exciting about your doc! I bet you feel like you just won the lottery!
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#28 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 02:17 AM
 
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Uhhhh : I don't know if I could put my trust in a doctor like that. Go out in the dirt? All the "juicy and free and uninhibited" isn't going to help in a medical emergency. :

Oh but birth usually isn't a medical emergency. Especially when you are really in touch with your body.

I LOVE this OB's advice! What an awesome doc! Sounds even better than some midwives I know.
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#29 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 09:48 AM
 
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Quite frankly, with the cesarean section rate in the US at 30.2% and the US ranked second worst in infant mortality among developed countries we could use a WHOLE LOT MORE doctors just like this one.
Seriously! I get sooooo tired of people who think we have great maternity care in the US! We are waaaaay behind quite a few other countries where a doctor like this would not be seen as so wierd! Good for mamas who can find someone smart enough to not be *the same* as all the other docs who fit into our horrible statistics here! We might be a great place for brain and heart surgery, but the US ranks way behind most of the developed world on birth! Why do so few people know this??!!
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#30 of 46 Old 01-22-2007, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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OP here!

Wow...I wasn't expecting so many responses!

Since there does seem to be some concern for my safety (or sanity) I'll add a little more info...

This OB and her husband (also an OB...they share the practice) have been practicing for about 30 years. They have a wonderful medical tract record. I'm not worried about their medical abilities, diagnostic skills, familiarity with technological advances, etc. They are perhaps, and not surprisingly since they ARE OBs, a bit more medically minded than some care providers chosen by women on mdc...for example, they are very fond of u/s, they don't push but do suggest blood screenings, and they do worry about VBAC mamas "going late/having big babies" (but they've said that there's nothing anyone can do about that so you just keep your fingers crossed and see where you end up).

On a personal history side, this OB has three children...the first was born on The Farm while they were in med school. And one was a hospital c/s. So she is personally familiar with a variety of birth locations/experiences and the emotional impact of a birth not going as planned. She was also a LLL leader for a time and is still nursing her 22mo in the office between clients. She has written extensively on VBAC safety in the medical literature, written well known guidelines for homebirth midwives attending VBAC mothers, and is not generally worried about the "success" of VBAC attempts...in her opinion, everything usually works out fine as long as you let nature do it's thing.

Her feeling is that VBAC mamas need to defend themselves against so much misinformation in the medical community...and that there is such a huge pressure on VBAC mamas to either "give in" or "fight fight fight" that this can get in the way of a normal, natural, drug and intervention free labor and delivery. VBAC mamas THINK all the time about statistics and odds and ratios and "how is this particular little thing going to affect me, who is going to try to stop me again"...and that this tension/stress/angst can actually prevent you from relaxing, and letting go, and opening up, and just BEING a birthing mother.

So she asks VBAC mamas (and also mamas who, for one reason or another, have had negative vaginal experiences) to really spend the time learning to let go and open up. She said that during the labor it's her job to keep an eye on things...it's the mamas job to BE the mama, let everything open up, and HAVE that baby. So she writes a Rx for lots of sex and touching, lots of crazy monkey mama juiciness, lots of fresh air and getting back in touch with nature in a very physical way. Because birth is physical, not just a list of statistics on a page where if you know all the numbers then it will "work".

She's a very active advocate of natural birth and I think that's just the coolest thing ever! I wish there were more care providers with that sort of personal passion and willingness to seem "nuts" in their attempts to get women, all women, to relax and give birth the way nature intended! (hmmmm...she's sort of reminding me of Patch Adams actually)

And honestly...I can't wait till babymort is big enough to understand the Rx that will be sitting there in her birth book!

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