Oh yeah and I am the crazy one?! (vent) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 25 Old 01-19-2007, 11:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just had to get this off my chest. While I totally understand that each to her own for making decisions on health, etc. I don't understand why more people don't even consider a VBAC. I mean, there are some things that are more controversial like circumcision and vaccination that have disputing studies for and against it, but for having a VBAC vs c-section its pretty dang clear that VBAC is the better way to go for 80+% of multips.

Anyway what got me started is we were at Kindermusik last week and of course I went in and totally bragged about having my VBAC (seriously, I want to have a T-shirt made!) Then both the teacher and one other lady were basically mortified that I did and they both basically bragged about having repeat c-sections scheduled yada yada... The teacher IMO was so ignorant. She said "when I got pregnant and heard labor wasn't like on TV and could last several hours I decided to get a c-section" OMG is all I have to say about that!

They asked me why I wanted "to even bother" having a VBAC and I replied with a very simple and to the point- "If I didn't there's no way I'd be able to come to music class four days after delivery." They seemed to at least understand that much! Ok, I feel much better now.
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#2 of 25 Old 01-19-2007, 11:26 PM
 
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I know how you feel, most (not all...but most) of the women I'm around would or have chosen the repeat c! People look at me like I have four heads when I talk about vbac or am adament that I WILL NOT have another c-sec. Let's see some ignorant comments "why did they make you go through labor.....they should have just given you a c-sec in the first place" or "I'm so glad to schedule my repeat c-sec because it's so easy" or "you do know that you MIGHT need another c-sec right?" Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
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#3 of 25 Old 01-20-2007, 12:15 AM
 
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I have not had my VBAC yet and even if I had another c-section I would still say GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR to them. It is just silly to not even try. I have had people assume that I am having another c-section but they are from the generation of once a c-section always a c-section and really don't know recent information.

Angie wife to Joe and Mom to Lucas(7) and Alex (4), Elizabeth (21 months) and due with #4 mid june

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#4 of 25 Old 01-20-2007, 12:33 AM
 
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i think people are scared. i had a friend who was totally emotionally traumatized ( like myself) from her c/s, then when she was due with her 2nd I gave her all the info/websites/contacts/advice possible about a vbac, b/c that is what she said she wanted. she stuck with her same ob and ended up having a scheduled c/s (talked into it a couple days b/f her due date)...even though she admitted to me that the consent form said a c/s was more risky. doesn't make sense!!! but as i get closer to my edd, i can see how people would get nervous about failing, about the unknown...after all, a c/s is what we know...we haven't pushed babies out (until our vbacs, that is). and then there's the ignorant crowd, which is what you seem to have encountered!!
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#5 of 25 Old 01-20-2007, 11:03 AM
 
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I, too, think it's ignorance... but that's SO frustrating! :

I am just so passionate about educating myself, especially when it comes to my health and the health of my family, that it frustrates me when I realize that most people out there seem to just be content to buy the bag of goods their doctor, the drug companies, etc want to sell them. Although I will say that sometimes it's just a matter of what you've been fortunate enough to be exposed to, what you've been able to find in your searching, etc. that has led you to the things you now know.

That being said, I have a friend who is an OB and had a c-sec with her first baby after like 30 hours of labor, so she scheduled one with her second because she "didn't want to go through that again." : That has always floored me! Doctors are the first ones to tell you that no two labors, births, etc are the same, unless it suits their purposes of course, and I just couldn't believe that my friend wouldn't even try a VBAC. Whatever. We just don't talk about it - although her sister just became pregnant and I am HIGHLY recommending that she read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and hoping to spark some debate within their family!

At any rate, having had two successful VBACs, the last one HBAC in water, I am pretty much everyone's crazy crunchy hippie friend anyway, so I don't know if what I say sways them or not! Meanwhile I've spent more time researching circ, vax, VBAC, etc than most of them could even imagine - hundreds of hours! - but I try to drip on the sheeple whenever possible... I used to be one myself so I haven't given up on the rest!
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#6 of 25 Old 01-20-2007, 02:56 PM
 
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It is sad in general that people have such a negative outlook on the birth process!
Also, I just can't see how someone thinks labor is hard but a c/s is easy??
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#7 of 25 Old 01-20-2007, 03:09 PM
 
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Not having had my vbac yet either. My gf said to me the other day that she doesn't want to go against my beliefs, but she hopes I get another c-sec. She just doesn't want to see me in pain. Ummm, ok? When just a few months ago she described the pain she had getting up from her c-sec as WORSE than any pain EVER, even labor pain!! So, yeah I should just go ahead with the c-sec and save myelf the pain. Heh.

Now I do waiver from time to time about a rep c-sec vs. vbac but that's for completely different reasons.

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#8 of 25 Old 01-20-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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I'm lucky I haven't run into anyone who hasn't been supportive of my VBAC desires... the women who have had repeat c/s who I've run into say they WISH they *could* have had tried a VBAC... at which I usually just grin and bear it, because all except for one (my SIL whose children's heads were both well over 100%ile at birth - 15.5"! A true case of CPD) absolutely could have - they CHOSE to remain ignorant and not educate themselves about why they could and probably would have succeeded - but to each their own.......

For me, the most unsupportive person is Jon, my SO... he's not really UNSUPPORTIVE but he likes to play devil's advocate and knows just how to get my blood boiling... grrrrr.....
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#9 of 25 Old 01-21-2007, 12:59 AM
 
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Oh at the baby classes I went to when dd1 was first born and I was ppd and fragile and insecure the other women would say to me, "Oh you're so lucky you didn't have any of the pain."

Right, cuz surgery isn't painful. And I'm an emotional wreck b/c of it, but hey, at least no contractions! Argh.

Kate: fumbling through the best years with W, L, F & V...newest arrival coming Jan '11
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#10 of 25 Old 01-21-2007, 01:16 AM
 
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I hear you. My family is going to freak out when they hear I'm not scheduling a repeat c/s!
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#11 of 25 Old 01-21-2007, 07:42 PM
 
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I can imagine how p.o.d you were. I would be. It is really sad the kind of ignorance being spread. I don't blame those women however. It is the doctors and society touting csections as healthy and normal for women, when in fact for the vast majority of women the exact opposite is true. It is just sad.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#12 of 25 Old 01-22-2007, 03:13 AM
 
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I can absolutely relate! In one of those wierd - how is that even possible ways. When I was pg with ds, my dh's aunt was also pg with their first. She was due about a month before me and ended up with a c/s for prolapsed cord. I ended up with an unnecessary c/s a few weeks later. Fast forward to now. Dh's aunt is pg again (she happened to get pg when I wanted to and is now delivering around when I thought I would be pg again). She is having an ERCS b/c "the first one wasn't that bad anyway".

I understand that in some cases an ERCS might be wise, but come on!
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#13 of 25 Old 01-22-2007, 03:32 AM
 
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I have to drive over 2 hours to have my vbac next month and would you believe my mother in law actually asked me to have a ERC because she doesn't want to drive so far to see the new baby :

i feel your pain, mamas, i feel your pain

In love with the Hubs (6-03) & : Kookie Pookie Girl (c/s 5-05) & Bouncy Big Boy (vbac 2-07) & : Miss Cheeky Cheeks (hbac 11-08) 100*90* 100lbs = Las Vegas : Almost there!
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#14 of 25 Old 01-23-2007, 11:18 AM
 
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Sorry you have to deal with some ignorant people. They are out there, I encountered many, many of them on my VBA2C journey last year. They'll probably make you stronger and more determined to succeed. I loved rubbing my fantastic and successful VBA2C in all their faces! Who's the crazy one now????
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#15 of 25 Old 01-25-2007, 02:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PookieMom View Post
I have to drive over 2 hours to have my vbac next month and would you believe my mother in law actually asked me to have a ERC because she doesn't want to drive so far to see the new baby :

i feel your pain, mamas, i feel your pain

Wow. That's a pretty crazy thing to say, even for a MIL: ( jk on the last part)

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#16 of 25 Old 01-26-2007, 07:42 PM
 
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In love with the Hubs (6-03) & : Kookie Pookie Girl (c/s 5-05) & Bouncy Big Boy (vbac 2-07) & : Miss Cheeky Cheeks (hbac 11-08) 100*90* 100lbs = Las Vegas : Almost there!
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#17 of 25 Old 01-26-2007, 07:49 PM
 
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I attempted a VBAC with dd, but had an emergency c-section. The OB who did it suggested I have a c-section in the future (not really sure why, and I didn't really ask). I just don't feel comfortable with that. I think it's somehow "wrong" to PICK when your baby is going to be born. I haven't made the decision yet as to what I'm going to do, but I will weigh my options when I get there.
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#18 of 25 Old 01-26-2007, 07:57 PM
 
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hi,
I'm just lurking here because I want to post for my friend considering VBAC but I have to say after having 2 natural births that I think the thought of pushing out a baby is scary for anyone!!

I had a long labor with my first and if I hadn't been with a midwife in her home (in Japan, she was amazing!) I definately would have been pushed to have a c-sec. It took a long time to push and that was even after my mw manually manipulated my dd's head to be at a better angle to descend (what OB would do that?)

And she finally came out and my mw always had faith in me so I never even thought that there was anything irregular until afterwards.

but what I'm trying to say is that it was difficult the first time so I was very nervous about the second birth and I think that those of you choosing for VBAC have every right to feel nervous and anxious and it's wonderful that you all have the courage to go against what the "mainstream" says (and a lot of doctors) and do what your heart is telling you to do!

Now I just wish I could get my friend to try it....
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#19 of 25 Old 01-26-2007, 08:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by acordio View Post
I have not had my VBAC yet and even if I had another c-section I would still say GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR to them. It is just silly to not even try. I have had people assume that I am having another c-section but they are from the generation of once a c-section always a c-section and really don't know recent information.

I couldn't disagree more, that it is "silly" to not even try. If I get pregnant again, I may schedule a c-section, and it's hardly silly. I have done some research already. and if I was pregnant or ttc, I'd do lots more. It will be a well researched decision, and just because it is different than what you might decide, doesn't make it silly.


It is actually statistcally safer for baby to have an ERCS than a VBAC. Not quite as safe more mom. Not a huge difference either way, but obviously, not silly to go for an ERCS either!

(And I found the statistics listed above at this site. I was really thinking I'd try for a vbac until I found this site and saw those stats.)
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#20 of 25 Old 01-26-2007, 09:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by logan&jordansmommy View Post
Also, I just can't see how someone thinks labor is hard but a c/s is easy??
Obviously it isn't for everyone, but it sure as heck was for me! Labor was 20 hours of wanting to die from the pain ... the c-section was half an hour of lying on a table with the pain gone.

I am totally supportive of VBACs for other people, but for myself, I don't think I can handle the chance that I'd have another traumatic labor and still end up with a repeat C-section. If there's a chance I'm having a section, I want it planned, scheduled, and under my control.
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#21 of 25 Old 01-26-2007, 11:31 PM
 
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there is always an element of not having control in labor....no matter how you do it....letting go of control allows things to open up and flow....

the idea is not to relinquish control to other people but to let your body (and your baby take over), they know exactly what they're doing....

maybe you could try that for your next labor and see how it goes (I mean really try it).....sometimes not being able to let go slows down and/or stops labor....

it could be a possibility for transformation and a real sense of power....intentionally letting go and seeing where your body takes you and witnessing how powerful labor is.....

having a doctor perform surgery on you does not really give you control over the situation at all....the contrary is true, you lose all control.....

and although labor is painful, contractions are beautiful and all-encompassing sensations when given their due respect.....
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#22 of 25 Old 01-27-2007, 01:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Jimibell View Post
and although labor is painful, contractions are beautiful and all-encompassing sensations when given their due respect.....
Yeah, that's what I used to think, too, before I felt them. They were NOT beautiful. They were torture. It was like being sawed in half. I wanted to shoot myself in the head. I was puking all over, lost control of my bladder. Screaming at the top of my lungs at every contraction. I remember thinking things like, "I don't care if the baby dies, if this will just stop."

I'm not taking the risk of having that AND a c-section happen again. Traumatic labor is bad enough without a 12-week recovery afterward.
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#23 of 25 Old 01-27-2007, 01:31 AM
 
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it sounds like you don't want to go through labor again....

what makes you think you'll have a c-section again?
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#24 of 25 Old 01-27-2007, 02:21 AM
 
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#25 of 25 Old 01-27-2007, 02:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Jimibell View Post
it sounds like you don't want to go through labor again....

what makes you think you'll have a c-section again?
The OB who did my c-section told me I'm not a candidate for a VBAC.
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