**update in 1st post**I played hookie today, didn't show up for scheduled c/s. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 68 Old 02-05-2007, 10:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had my HBA2C yesterday. It was great. I had an 8lb. 2oz. boy with about a 3 1/2 hour labor. I will write more later.
But just to add a note here, I had 2 c/s, 1 at 26 weeks, 1 at 36 & I have a unicornuate uterus.



I have had 2 preemies and both were c/s. I have been planning a vbac this time and have great support. I have been seeing an OB the whole time so my insurance would pay for things if I needed them. I got myself into a bind by agreeing to have a c/s today (39 weeks 1 day) because I honestly didn't think I would make it this far. I did express to the OB long ago that I was against a scheduled c/s but we both figured that "allowing" me to go to 39 weeks was insurance against that.

I left her office a message last week canceling my appointment and letting them know that I would be going to another hospital when I went into labor. I guess they didn't get a good message to her because she has been calling asking what is going on. She called today again.

What should I do? I don't want her in a position where she is feeling stressed and responsible for me and so therefore wants to cut me.
Can she come to my house?
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#2 of 68 Old 02-05-2007, 10:24 PM
 
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Just tell her what you told us. She has the right to know that everything's okay and what's on your mind... it's her own office's fault really if they didn't give her the message.

Why in the world would they schedule a c/s so early out of curiosity?
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#3 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 12:01 AM
 
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YAYAYAYAY!!! You're my heroine!!! I'm so excited!!! I often hope women will do that!!!
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#4 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 12:32 AM
 
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You go girl!! You totally rock! Good job! Just tell her the truth. Be prepared for the "dead baby card".

 

  

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#5 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 12:37 AM
 
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Good for you!
39 weeks seems early for a scheduled c/s. Why is she pushing the c/s?
I would just tell her that you're not ready and you're not even to your due date yet, so it's not up for discussion at the moment.

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
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#6 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 01:01 AM
 
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I would be honest with her, ask that she respectfully let you gestate in peace.

Then let your machine take your calls until after the baby is born. If it starts to bug you, then just turn the ringer off of your phone. Listen to your baby. Trust your body. You are giving your baby a remarkable gift by letting him/her choose the birthday!
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#7 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 01:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mum2James&Bean View Post
Why in the world would they schedule a c/s so early out of curiosity?
They do that because they don't want you to go into labor. Cause if you do then you know for sure something catastrophic will happen :

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#8 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 11:42 AM
 
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I'm so proud of you! You didn't get yourself into a bind by agreeing to a section, you simply have changed your mind You really didn't think you were going to make it this far and so you tried to appease her. Oh well.

Maybe it's time for some honesty with the doc and tell her that you really feel strongly about having a VBAC and that you feel that your best chance is to move along to another hospital/provider. It seems like she's not really open to the idea since she was scheduling you for a section (early at that!), so the logical thing to do is find someone else.

I do have some questions for you if you feel like answering them:

1. When you say you have support for VBAC, what do you mean? Have you hired a doula? Do you have someone who will be with you? I ask because I know from experience that any hospital you show up at may try to section you (because of your historty) and it's best (IMO) to have someone who will be a strong advocate for you. Even if you go in at 10cm, they may try to convince you to have surgery.

2. Do you have a new doctor at the new hospital? If not, you may want to ask around to see if there is anyone VBAC friendly who will support you in your decision.


Don't worry about putting HER in a position where she is stressed and feeling responsible for your decision. You are the boss and YOU have made the decision to go for the VBAC. She is your employee, not your employer and you have a right to hire her or fire her as you deem necessary. Maybe she is truly worried about you. If so, that is great! But, don't let her feelings dictate what you will do in this situation. This is your (and your baby's) birth! If someone else has some hurt feelings, it's o.k.!
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#9 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 12:22 PM
 
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YAY!!!! Good for you!!!!

you can be totally open and honest. Or partially. You can leave it at "the time came and I couldn't choose the baby's birthday. My preemies scared me and I NEED this one to come on his/her *own* due date" which means you are only "taking" a natural start to labor. She may be willing to support that. Thats if you still need/want her input in the pregnancy.
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#10 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 12:51 PM
 
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YAY!!!! Good for you!!!!

you can be totally open and honest. Or partially. You can leave it at "the time came and I couldn't choose the baby's birthday. My preemies scared me and I NEED this one to come on his/her *own* due date" which means you are only "taking" a natural start to labor. She may be willing to support that. Thats if you still need/want her input in the pregnancy.

Ditto! Good for you!!

Angie wife to Joe and Mom to Lucas(10) and Alex (7), Elizabeth (4), Joey (2), and #5 due May 29
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#11 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 01:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, thanks for all the responses.
They scheduled me because they are terrified of me going into labor. I have one fallopian tube that doesn't connect to the inside of my uterus which is technically called a unicornuate uterus. There are many variations on the severity of the malformation but mine is limited to just the fallopian tube hitting a wall.

They have told me that going full term is very unlikely and that is why they took ds out at 36 weeks because I was having mild cramping. Now I know that my body just starts preparing for labor early with all sorts of cramps and such.

The support I have is for a homebirth with an excellent midwife. My husband supports me, my friends support me and it seems like I just keep finding more information this pregnancy that is positive for vbac whereas when I was pregnant with my 2nd, I found very little helpful information, just a bunch of scared doctors. They were freaked that I had a section at 26 weeks and how that must mean I couldn't have had a low-transverse incision. When they did the 2nd one, they found very little evidence of a scar at all because I had healed so well and that it was in fact low-transverse.

We're going to call her today and let her know that things are still going well with the baby.

Thanks for all your support!
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#12 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 01:56 PM
 
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What's the difference between going into labour before 39 weeks (when you were planning to VBAC) and going into labour after 39 weeks though? It's just bizarre sounding to me...

At any rate, good for your for not going!
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#13 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 02:41 PM
 
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You rock!!!!!!!
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#14 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 02:46 PM
 
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I love your strength.
Thanks for being a beacon!

Dear hubby surf.gif, dd1 (8) dust.gif ds1 (5)hbac.gif and dd2 (NB) hbac.gif waterbirth.jpg

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#15 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 02:47 PM
 
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What's the difference between going into labour before 39 weeks (when you were planning to VBAC) and going into labour after 39 weeks though? It's just bizarre sounding to me...
There isn't any. They just feel that 39 weeks is a "safe" compromise - the baby should be mature enough (*insert gagging sounds here*), but the mom still isn't likely to go into labour. When I had ds2, they wanted to schedule me for July 4th...I was due July 14th by LMP, and July 7th by u/s. They finally did a section - on July 26th - and I went into labour the night before. DS2 was obviously ready to arrive on the 4th, right?

OP: You're my heroine. I so wish I'd done that last time...

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#16 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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Tiffany, I'm glad you have some IRL support. Please come here anytime you need a little extra!

OT-I love your dc's names! We like "K" names ourselves and we also have a Keira! My others are Kaleigh and Kyle. Are you going to have a "K" name for #3?
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#17 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 05:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by stayathomecristi View Post
Don't worry about putting HER in a position where she is stressed and feeling responsible for your decision. You are the boss and YOU have made the decision to go for the VBAC. She is your employee, not your employer and you have a right to hire her or fire her as you deem necessary. Maybe she is truly worried about you. If so, that is great! But, don't let her feelings dictate what you will do in this situation. This is your (and your baby's) birth! If someone else has some hurt feelings, it's o.k.!
:
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#18 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 06:48 PM
 
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That is awsome. That gives me strength to turn one down if they try to get me to do it with this one. But they seem ok with me VBACing but you never know until you are there. Congrats on taking back your birth.
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#19 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 07:50 PM
 
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You rock, mama.

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#20 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 08:12 PM
 
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I wish I had just said no to my csection. If you feel the baby is fine, that is ALL that matters.

Good for you for standing up for yourself and your baby.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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#21 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 08:57 PM
 
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You are my idol!!! I always wondered what would happen if a women scheduled for a c/s just didn't show!!! Now I know! hehe`
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#22 of 68 Old 02-06-2007, 09:40 PM
 
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You are my idol!!! I always wondered what would happen if a women scheduled for a c/s just didn't show!!! Now I know! hehe`
Good for you! I wish I had done the same. My ds2 was taken too early, 37 wks and he was just not ready. I don't know what I was thinking, I wasn't thinking clearly that's what and my parents had come from overseas, I just didn't feel I had the room to change things after they had tickets, dh had off from work, etc. Big regret...
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#23 of 68 Old 02-07-2007, 07:04 PM
 
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WOW!! You're my heroine!

May you have a peaceful rest of your pregnancy and an amazing birth! I can't wait to read your birth story.

Crunchy, pagan, vegan,homeschooling wife and mother of 3 beautiful daughters and 2 wonderful sons

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#24 of 68 Old 02-08-2007, 12:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks again for the support.
To TanyaS, we aren't planning a K name but it might happen.
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#25 of 68 Old 02-09-2007, 04:26 AM
 
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Don't worry about putting HER in a position where she is stressed and feeling responsible for your decision. You are the boss and YOU have made the decision to go for the VBAC. She is your employee, not your employer and you have a right to hire her or fire her as you deem necessary. Maybe she is truly worried about you. If so, that is great! But, don't let her feelings dictate what you will do in this situation. This is your (and your baby's) birth! If someone else has some hurt feelings, it's o.k.!
One thing I someone told me in my VBAC quest was to remember that even though I might, my OB is NOT losing any sleep being worried about my and my feelings.
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#26 of 68 Old 02-09-2007, 03:46 PM
 
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Way to go! I am totally following you to find out what the final outcome will be! Good luck with your HBAC!
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#27 of 68 Old 02-09-2007, 04:05 PM
 
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me to ..... i want to hear about it........i want a home birth so bad.. but lil bella is still breech....... hopefully she will turn

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#28 of 68 Old 02-09-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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You are my heroine! What a strong, conscious woman you are!!!

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*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.Jasmine Rae Ojala*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*
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#29 of 68 Old 02-10-2007, 09:41 PM
 
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Way to go!

And just to keep in mind- most places your doc can not drop you after 36 weeks unless he/she finds another doc to take over your care- so they really can't fire you... but many use that threat to strongarm you into doing what they want. If you are set for your homebirth- hopefully it won't come up, but if you needed the hospital & that doc for anything, they can't turn you away. And no hospital can turn away a mom in labor for that matter.

We had a homebirth/dual care with OB mom do a similar thing for a scheduled induction. She stopped returning their calls, had her babies 3 weeks later, and then told the docs she'd had a beautiful twin vaginal (of course) homebirth & they were nuts with their deadline.

Lots of luck- have a great HBAC!

Sonya
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#30 of 68 Old 02-11-2007, 05:41 AM
 
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Keep us updated! I keep checking for more comments from you. You are an amazing woman! I love that you are thwarting the system like this.
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