karre, you've got to be 100% positive and 100% focused on your vbac if a vbac is what you want. There absolutely is no room for any negatives, feelings if disempowerment, unsupportiveness etc... You need to be completely 100% strong for you and your baby.
Find someone irl to talk to about all that's making you feel depressed so you can get passed it and start focusing on the positive vbac your internal self knows you can have.
The stigma of fear that surrounds a woman having a vbac is appalling and it's not what you need to get you through labour.
Make a decision which way you are birthing your baby and only focus on the positives. You've know doubt already been told about the negatives of a vbac and though they are still very minor compared to the negatives of a caesarean, they are still important to note. But... you don't need to be told every single day!!!
Tell someone a negative everyday and watch their spirit fall. Tell someone a positive everyday and watch their spirit soar. Basically you can put that to a pregnant lady. Tell her the negatives everyday so that's what she focuses on and her birthing experience will be fear led and fear based. Tell a pregnant lady everyday that she can have the best most empowered birthing experience and more thena likely she will.
karre, if you want a vbac then go and have it regardless if it's at home or at the hospital. If it makes it any easier, start reading all the positive articles and stories from other women who have achieved their vbac and take from their stories what they did to get them through. Be strong in your choice because the memory of birthing your baby will stay with you even when you are an elderly lady and you want to remember with great triumph and not great sorrow.
Good luck karre, and Let Your Birthing Goddess Roar.