Don't really know what happened to my girls after my C-section - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-01-2007, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Can anyone relate?

I am having a third child and my girls have been wanting to look at their baby pictures a lot lately. So we've been looking at pictures of when they were born every day. There were two of them, one husband and me strapped to a bed and being stitched up and then puking my guts out in recovery. I believed they would do all post-birth care in the room, but Fiona was very small and taken to the NICU for observation. That I understand. Phoebe was bigger and healthy, so I don't know why she was taken to the well-baby nursery for her care.

Anyway, I've asked my husband about what happened, but he doesn't remember much with running between the well-baby nursery and the NICU. I want to know when they were bathed and who did it. In one picture they were still covered in amniotic fluid and in the next they were clean. I assume they weren't given the eye drops since it was straight to a C-section. I assume they were given Vitamin K because I didn't know better at the time, but DH doesn't remember. I would *not* have consented to Hep B vaccination at birth, but I noticed a bandage on Phoebe's thigh in one picture and have no idea why it was there.

I am sending off for their medical records to find out what happened and am hoping they're complete and accurate, but I feel so sad and robbed that my girls's first moments are a mystery to me. It was almost 10 hours before I even held Fiona, but that's another story.

Sorry -- I didn't mean to make this so long. Can anyone else relate? I am so determined that this baby will be born vaginally and come straight into my arms.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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Old 11-01-2007, 05:25 PM
 
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Oh sweetie I understand this. It was not nearly so long with me - I was very lucky and my daughter was not taken out of the OR. But I so deeply resent every moment she was out of my sight. I so deeply grieve that I don't know what she looked like at the moment of her birth - not even pictures. I remember hearing a baby cry but feeling completely detached from it - it could have been anybody's baby. It hurts me so deeply - and for me it was only about 20 minutes, and she was in the room, I just couldn't hold her or even *see* her (I'm short waisted so the drape was right by my chin, so there was nowhere to put her on me - DH held her by my head, but I couldn't turn my head far enough to actually look at her). My heart is with you - I hope you can get some answers on this.
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Old 11-01-2007, 05:53 PM
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I just recently found out that my DD was given formula several times in the first 24 hours. I remember very little from those hours as I was rather loopy on drugs (probably the ones to make me stop throwing up). I remember refusing to nurse once (I was so out of it) and them giving formula, but apparently it happened more after that. I didn't even recognize the nurse from that morning when I saw her on the next day. I remember telling the pediatrician that she would have to explain everything again next time she came because I wasn't coherent enough to get it.

I'm sure she got all the standard newborn stuff. The one thing we did push for was a hearing test which we couldn't get.

I'm sad to have missed out on all that stuff and maybe that's why I want my VBAC so bad. I was outa control, and not able to be responsible for my baby. Who says c-sections are easier?

All that to say I'm totally with ya! C-sections suck!

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Old 11-01-2007, 08:00 PM
 
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I assume they weren't given the eye drops since it was straight to a C-section.
I wouldn't assume that. I'm almost 99% positive ds still got the eye goop and mine was a "primary elective" cesarean - no labor at all.

Kudos on getting the medical records! I think that's probably the best way you can really know what went on. I have no idea what went on for the first 5 or 6 hours of ds' life because they had him for "observation" due to his grunting. I do know that they gave him a bath in my room, but I know they were very annoyed that we had requested that. I suspect that if we hadn't asked for that it would likely have been MUCH longer than that before I would have even seen ds let alone try to breastfeed.

It still pains me that SO many people saw ds before I was able to really hold him. I got to see him in the operating room very briefly and couldn't hold him at all. I got to hold him for just a very short time in the recovery room before they took him away. It still makes me cry to think about that. I think all of that probably contributed to my not really being able to form good attachments with him for a very long time.

I'm "due" not that much after you and I can definitely relate to how you're feeling mama!
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Old 11-02-2007, 01:49 AM
 
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Yes, I definitely know the feeling.
I was put under during my c/s and by the time I was lucid he was gone, being bathed and such. I have NO idea what happened during that time. I should ask dh because he stayed with him for all but a couple minutes.

Honestly, this is probably one of the biggest "issues" I have had with the whole thing. I was totally unconscious for one of the most monumental life moments there is. I never saw him until he was clean, tagged, etc... It frustrates me to no end that I carried him for 9+ months and missed his first breath, first cry, etc... And of course, he was gone alot during the following hours and days, he was given eye ointment, vitamin K, and Hep B. The first two I was not happy about, but the Hep B made me FURIOUS because I argued with the nurse repeatedly telling them I was declining the vax and I passed out from exhaustion during the arguement and she did it anyway.
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Old 11-02-2007, 01:52 AM
 
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It still pains me that SO many people saw ds before I was able to really hold him. I got to see him in the operating room very briefly and couldn't hold him at all. I got to hold him for just a very short time in the recovery room before they took him away. It still makes me cry to think about that. I think all of that probably contributed to my not really being able to form good attachments with him for a very long time.
Now that totally sucks.
I guess my mom having had 5 c/s, I had an advantage with that issue. I had told DH early in my pregnancy that if for ANY reason I was incapacitated at the time of birth or shortly thereafter, I was entrusting him that *no one* would touch or hold my baby but him until I was capable. I even told him that I didn't care if I was in a coma for a week... I would never forgive him if he let another family member hold him before me. I knew how emotionally devastating that could be for me and I'm really sorry that it happened to you.
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Old 11-02-2007, 02:13 AM
 
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Ugh. I'm so sorry. It hurts so bad and I'm not sure if it ever goes away.


I, too, was the last person to see my ds. My parents and my in-laws had seen him and held him before I saw him. He was bathed, changed, dressed, fed sugar water, given eye goop, given shots (I didn't know that), and heel pricked by the time I first saw him. I was so out of it from drugs that when they held him by my face and told me to look at him, I remember thinking, "Oh look a baby. How nice." I had no clue he was mine. Then he was gone. 4 hours later they brought him to me. Why did it take 4 hours? I had to wait until I could move my legs on my own which took some time and then it took the nurse forever to get him from the nursery. ds wouldn't nurse at all. Not until he threw up sugar water a few hours later.

I also don't have a single picture from the day he was born. Not a single one.

I also remember feeling so lonely and forgotten after surgery. I was in recovery when I woke up and the only person there was the nurse. She told me I had a son. I felt sad as I laid on the bed alone. Dh and all our parents were in the nursery with the baby and I felt like chopped liver. Like no one cared that I was in recovery and feeling horrible in every way. The first person to come see me was my dad.

Crude, now I'm crying.
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Old 11-02-2007, 02:16 AM
 
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I had mine at home, and sometimes it is hard to reconstruct what happened since everything happens so fast, and the midwives do what they do so quickly.

You are not alone. I read my own records and was surprised at some of the things also.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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Old 11-02-2007, 02:32 AM
 
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I had mine at home, and sometimes it is hard to reconstruct what happened since everything happens so fast, and the midwives do what they do so quickly.

You are not alone. I read my own records and was surprised at some of the things also.
My 2nd ds was born at home and while I don't remember everything either...it's nothing like what I missed out on and don't remember from my 1st ds's birth. At my homebirth I got to hear his first cry, saw his first pee and poop, held him with all the goo still all over him, saw him attached to the cord with the cord still pulsing, saw the cord cut, held him before ANYONE else, he was not separated from me for even a minute. All those firsts that I did not experience with my first born. I can never get that back. Ever.

One thing though is that I have no idea how many stitches my midwife gave me. I asked and she wouldn't tell me.
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Old 11-02-2007, 03:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I totally had that disconnected feeling when I saw Phoebe for the first time, too. I saw her all bundled up a short while after she was born, but the first time I got to hold her I remember that, "Oh, huh, here's my baby" feeling. : I was all drugged up. I started to feel pain at the end of my surgery & freaked out a bit about whether I could breathe or not and they drugged me up.

I remember seeing those Birth Story TV shows and I would see these C-section mamas and how calm they were about their babies bieng out of sight and out of reach and thinking, "Oh, I would totally be screaming, 'Bring me my baby NOW!'" But, in reality not so much.

I am sorry for all of us and our sweet babies.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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Old 11-02-2007, 03:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It still pains me that SO many people saw ds before I was able to really hold him. I got to see him in the operating room very briefly and couldn't hold him at all. I got to hold him for just a very short time in the recovery room before they took him away. It still makes me cry to think about that. I think all of that probably contributed to my not really being able to form good attachments with him for a very long time.

I'm "due" not that much after you and I can definitely relate to how you're feeling mama!
Yep -- my husband, Mom, Dad and sister got to hold Fiona before I did. If someone would have gotten me a freaking wheelchair sooner, I would have been there sooner, but for some reason it took a while to get me one. That still makes me mad -- how hard is to find a wheelchair on a maternity ward? I held my sister's two babies sooner after they were born than Fiona. It hurts me, too, to think about that.

I hope we've both got beautiful VBAC stories to share soon.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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Old 11-02-2007, 04:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I definitely know the feeling.
I was put under during my c/s and by the time I was lucid he was gone, being bathed and such. I have NO idea what happened during that time. I should ask dh because he stayed with him for all but a couple minutes.

Honestly, this is probably one of the biggest "issues" I have had with the whole thing. I was totally unconscious for one of the most monumental life moments there is. I never saw him until he was clean, tagged, etc... It frustrates me to no end that I carried him for 9+ months and missed his first breath, first cry, etc... And of course, he was gone alot during the following hours and days, he was given eye ointment, vitamin K, and Hep B. The first two I was not happy about, but the Hep B made me FURIOUS because I argued with the nurse repeatedly telling them I was declining the vax and I passed out from exhaustion during the arguement and she did it anyway.
Oh the nurse giving the shot after you'd told her not to would make me so beyond angry. I hope she was fired after that -- how completely arrogant and disrespectful. I am so sorry.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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Old 11-02-2007, 04:27 AM
 
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I know what you mean. Granted, my experience wasn't quite as bad as some othe others here, but it still bothers me. After they took my son out, they brought him around the sheet for me to see, briefly (of course I couldn't touch, though; I was strapped down), then took him away. I got to watch him on a TV screen while they stitched me up. It was proably 30 minutes before I saw him. And after reading some of these stories, I know it could be worse, but it still bothers me that a dozen other people held him before I did.

This time around, if I can help it, we're not going to the hospital until it's time to push! And damn it, I'm going to hold my baby!

ETA: They also asked me, when I checked in, if I wanted the baby to have any pacifiers. I very firmly said absolutely not. (And not for bfing reasons, either. I just really hate pacis.) Guess what? Each time they wheeled in his bassinet, there was a paci in it. Each time I thru it away. Each time, it reappeared. Why did they bother asking? *eyeroll*
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Old 11-02-2007, 11:13 AM
 
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with my oldest I layed awake by myself in a recovery room while everyone watched my little one be bathed, hair combed, foot prints ect. The nurse that was doing paperwork in the room wouldnt even talk to me since she was so busy: I have a dear friend that took pictures of all that happened with ds and gave me copies when he was about 5 months old. I am so blessed that she thought to do this! Those pictures have been a huge inspiration to me to do things differently with subsiquent kiddos.
Everything that was done could have waited and now I know better if I should ever have anouther section. Im so sorry that others have had these experiences. Its not fair.
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Old 11-02-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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Yes, I can relate. I don't know what went on w my first child for days. I was so looped up on drugs, we don't have photos until he is 3 days old. There were no photos of his c/s birth, unlike my 2nd child who the aneasthesiologist took 2 polaroids for us. I was not so looped up w him and I was sure to get photos etc.
But I do feel robbed of my first child in so many ways. His birth, the bfing, the recovery, the subsequent c/s to repair the damage done by the first c/s... It's aways haunting me.
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Old 11-03-2007, 12:29 AM
 
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I totally agree. This separation from my DS is what makes me fear another C/S the most. It still REALLY upsets me. A lot.

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Old 11-04-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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Does anyone else feel that the separation has caused their dc to have certain issues?

There are some traits da has that I think were triggered/started by that initial separation. Babies just aren't blueprinted to be separated from mom, yk?
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Old 11-04-2007, 01:46 AM
 
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Oh the nurse giving the shot after you'd told her not to would make me so beyond angry. I hope she was fired after that -- how completely arrogant and disrespectful. I am so sorry.
They are LEGALLY not allowed to give the baby the Hep B shot (or other immunizations) without written consent. If you had not signed this and the nurse gave the vaccine they violated the law. I know this happened awhile back probably, but for other mom's info, this is grounds for a law suit.

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Old 11-04-2007, 01:00 AM
 
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I work in a hospital and I could give you ladies an idea of where the baby goes when you are unable to attend, if you like. This is just based on our hospitals routine procedure.

In the OR the baby is taken to a warmer, suctioned and a quick head to toe assessment is done. At our hospital ALL babies are given prophylaxis injection of penicillin for GBS right then. : I'd guess that 90% of the moms have no clue that this happens. They evaluate breathing and make sure baby is stable, get a weight and then wrap baby up and let the parents see baby for a second before the pediatrician transports baby to newborn nursery. Mom usually goes to recovery at this point.

Supposedly all babies receive an ounce or two of formula upon arrival in the nursery to 'prevent hypoglycemia' but I don't see this happen right away all the time (this includes babies who are ebf, I doubt moms know.) Baby is placed naked in a warmer while the nurse begins initial paperwork. The newborn nurse does another head to toe assessment, measures head and takes weight and length. Vitamin K injection is given as well as the erythromycin eye ointment and the Hep B if the consent has been signed.

After 30 minutes under the warmer (enough time for the good ol' eye gunk to do it's job the baby is taken to be bathed. They are wiped down with warm diaper wipes and then wrapped in a blanket and the nurse washes the baby's hair over the sink. Baby is dried and diapered and then the umbilical cord is covered in triple dye to prevent infection. Baby is returned to a warmer and awaits transport to recovery room, OB unit and so forth.

Hope this helps give you an idea of the chain of events that usually occurs.

I'm so sorry you ladies weren't properly informed, I know most moms aren't.

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Old 11-04-2007, 05:04 AM
 
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moodyred01--Sorry, what is GBS?

what she said, my mom is an ob nurse so I know the drill...only at their hospital *all* babies room-in (which is sooo cool).

I made dp go to the nursery with ds and refused the hep b. I can't remember if we did the vitamin k or not. I don't think we did!

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Old 11-06-2007, 01:17 AM
 
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GBS= Group B Strep

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Old 11-06-2007, 12:48 PM
 
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I work in a hospital and I could give you ladies an idea of where the baby goes when you are unable to attend, if you like. This is just based on our hospitals routine procedure.

In the OR the baby is taken to a warmer, suctioned and a quick head to toe assessment is done. At our hospital ALL babies are given prophylaxis injection of penicillin for GBS right then. : I'd guess that 90% of the moms have no clue that this happens. They evaluate breathing and make sure baby is stable, get a weight and then wrap baby up and let the parents see baby for a second before the pediatrician transports baby to newborn nursery. Mom usually goes to recovery at this point.

Supposedly all babies receive an ounce or two of formula upon arrival in the nursery to 'prevent hypoglycemia' but I don't see this happen right away all the time (this includes babies who are ebf, I doubt moms know.) Baby is placed naked in a warmer while the nurse begins initial paperwork. The newborn nurse does another head to toe assessment, measures head and takes weight and length. Vitamin K injection is given as well as the erythromycin eye ointment and the Hep B if the consent has been signed.

After 30 minutes under the warmer (enough time for the good ol' eye gunk to do it's job the baby is taken to be bathed. They are wiped down with warm diaper wipes and then wrapped in a blanket and the nurse washes the baby's hair over the sink. Baby is dried and diapered and then the umbilical cord is covered in triple dye to prevent infection. Baby is returned to a warmer and awaits transport to recovery room, OB unit and so forth.

Hope this helps give you an idea of the chain of events that usually occurs.

I'm so sorry you ladies weren't properly informed, I know most moms aren't.
Thank you for your candor, but...
Are you freakin' kidding me?! (Not angry at you, moody, of course)

I am praying for a VBAC, but you can bet I'm going to be asking some very specific questions this time around. Maybe I can find a doula who is also a lawyer.

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Old 11-06-2007, 03:13 PM
 
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Thank you for your candor, but...
Are you freakin' kidding me?! (Not angry at you, moody, of course)
I had had the same feeling. Those by far are the LEAST baby/mother friendly "protocols" I have ever read. I know you don't set the "rules", but there are so many reasons why those types of practices are a detriment to c/s mamas. I'm sure there are other hospitals that do the same types of things, but I'm hoping that isn't the case with all of them. Proof positive again that one should always request their medical records!
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Old 11-08-2007, 02:29 AM
 
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I had my vbac in a fsbc and didn't feel much need for a birth plan. But, I thought I might do one in case of transfer. At that time I started thinking about what happened w/dd1 after the surgical birth, and realized I had no idea. I remember being on the table in a different room from the OR, waiting for someone to hand her to me. Like pps I would think I would have been yelling for her, but I guess I was so drugged up I just waited, dazed. I asked dh and he said he was there, I didn't even remember that. He told me that they had some student nurses there and they had kind of an attitude of, "oh, how convenient, it's a c/s so we can take plenty of time showing the students this assessment procedure while the OB is stitching up mom." He remembers thinking it was a long checklist and they took their time explaining everything to the students. Obviously the OB was faster, I was lying there waiting. Nice way to teach the future nurses what's important.
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Old 11-08-2007, 03:45 AM
 
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I work in a hospital and I could give you ladies an idea of where the baby goes when you are unable to attend, if you like. This is just based on our hospitals routine procedure.

In the OR the baby is taken to a warmer, suctioned and a quick head to toe assessment is done. At our hospital ALL babies are given prophylaxis injection of penicillin for GBS right then. : I'd guess that 90% of the moms have no clue that this happens. They evaluate breathing and make sure baby is stable, get a weight and then wrap baby up and let the parents see baby for a second before the pediatrician transports baby to newborn nursery. Mom usually goes to recovery at this point.

Supposedly all babies receive an ounce or two of formula upon arrival in the nursery to 'prevent hypoglycemia' but I don't see this happen right away all the time (this includes babies who are ebf, I doubt moms know.) Baby is placed naked in a warmer while the nurse begins initial paperwork. The newborn nurse does another head to toe assessment, measures head and takes weight and length. Vitamin K injection is given as well as the erythromycin eye ointment and the Hep B if the consent has been signed.

After 30 minutes under the warmer (enough time for the good ol' eye gunk to do it's job the baby is taken to be bathed. They are wiped down with warm diaper wipes and then wrapped in a blanket and the nurse washes the baby's hair over the sink. Baby is dried and diapered and then the umbilical cord is covered in triple dye to prevent infection. Baby is returned to a warmer and awaits transport to recovery room, OB unit and so forth.

Hope this helps give you an idea of the chain of events that usually occurs.

I'm so sorry you ladies weren't properly informed, I know most moms aren't.

I just want to say that this is NOT the protocol at ALL hospitals. I was quite lucid during my c-section and DH was with DD the whole time, and nothing like this ever happened. The pediatrician team was in the OR with us, gave DD a quick exam right in front of me and DH, and then she stayed with us, nursed, etc. from then on. DH even gave her the first bath. She was never away from us once. I think practices and protocols vary significantly from hospital to hospital and especially from region to region. I just didn't want everyone to assume that the above is necessarily what happened to their DC...
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Old 11-09-2007, 11:24 AM
 
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They are LEGALLY not allowed to give the baby the Hep B shot (or other immunizations) without written consent. If you had not signed this and the nurse gave the vaccine they violated the law. I know this happened awhile back probably, but for other mom's info, this is grounds for a law suit.

this depends on where you are. if you havent signed something saying you decline, it is perfectly legal, in some places.


and op- i hope your dds didnt get the eye drops though i wouldnt place much in assuming it because i know a few csection babies who did. its completely ridiculous.

i hope what you find out isnt bad, or doesnt upset you any more than you already are and i definitely hope you can have a birth that you want this time!
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Old 11-11-2007, 12:01 AM
 
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emergency c-section, spinal didn't take, so they knocked me out. I remember crying at the top of my lungs when I woke up and asked where my husband was and they responded "with the baby" I had no clue what had just happened it was like they were still trying to put me under.

I finally stopped crying about 5-6 hours later which is when I got to see her for the first time, which started me up again of course. My hubby did right though, I had told him many times if I can't be with her for any reason you are not to leave her side, but it was so tramatic for him he forgot about all the do's and don't I left for him. He said I looked dead when I was unconcious and that he had forgotten everything I told him. I only got to see her for 5-10 minutes then they took her to NICU.

I had written down no bottle and no pacifier, but of course they really don't care, started pumping immediately, took them milk, but they still gave her sugar water and formula, until I pitched a fit (the next day of course). I remember trying to get up to go see her that first night so damn hard, I stood up and dispite everything gushing out of me and the feeling my legs were about to go, I kept saying over and over again that I had to see her. The nurses convinced me I couldn't with the way I was bleeding.

DD doesn't like to be held much. Who can blame her seeing as the NICU people would only let us see her in 10 minute increments every 3 hours and if they had already fed her before we got there, they told us we couldn't see her or that we shouldn't touch her because we would wake her up. She didn't hardly get held her first week and then was hooked up to an apnea monitor for four months, which made it extremely difficult to hold her for long periods of time because you couldn't just stand up and take her with you without a production. I had a sling that didn't get used because by the time I could put her in it without cords attached she was too big.

The only thing that went right was that since she was premie they hadn't given her the hep b yet, so I got to argue and get her out of that the day before we took her home. silver lining?

attached to DH superhero.gif 10/03, DD1 blahblah.gif 8/06, DD2 bouncy.gif 12/07, DD3 energy.gif 5/09, DD4 slinggirl.gif 11/12

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Old 11-11-2007, 10:38 PM
 
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I just want to say that this is NOT the protocol at ALL hospitals. I was quite lucid during my c-section and DH was with DD the whole time, and nothing like this ever happened. The pediatrician team was in the OR with us, gave DD a quick exam right in front of me and DH, and then she stayed with us, nursed, etc. from then on. DH even gave her the first bath. She was never away from us once. I think practices and protocols vary significantly from hospital to hospital and especially from region to region. I just didn't want everyone to assume that the above is necessarily what happened to their DC...
Same with me, my milk had already come in (I had a plugged duct before she was even born ow!) They washed her off and handed her to me, dh had to help me a bit but we were nursing right away.

The hospital was very encouraging of rooming in and dd was never out of our sight she was never in the nursery.

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