"I'm a c-section advocate..." - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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VBAC > "I'm a c-section advocate..."
ahdoula's Avatar ahdoula 02:45 PM 11-19-2007
Speaking of stupid thing people say there was a LDN teaching a childbrith (aka "intervention") class at a hospital talking about c-section who said:

"And if you have a c-section and feel upset about it or having an regret, then something is wrong with you, because you still got a healthy baby"

There are so many things wrong with that I don't know where to start.

Romana's Avatar Romana 02:55 PM 11-19-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by barefootpoetry View Post
Blech. My coworkers have all had C-sections, and it pains me to hear them rhapsodize about them: "I didn't have to feel any contractions, it was great!" "My kids didn't have goofy-shaped heads!" UGH.
My MIL, who had 2 c/s, would not stop saying how dd looked "like a c-section baby" because her head was perfectly round (vaginal birth). I just had a shortish active pushing stage for a FTM (25 min) so no moulding really occurred. But it really irritated to have her keep referring to dd that way, like you could never have a cute, undamaged vaginally-birthed baby.

(sorry, just lurking here today . . .)
Mrs-Mama's Avatar Mrs-Mama 03:34 PM 11-19-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahdoula View Post
Speaking of stupid thing people say there was a LDN teaching a childbrith (aka "intervention") class at a hospital talking about c-section who said:

"And if you have a c-section and feel upset about it or having an regret, then something is wrong with you, because you still got a healthy baby"

There are so many things wrong with that I don't know where to start.
Ugh. There is so much wrong with that statement that I don't even know where to start.
Tiffanoodle's Avatar Tiffanoodle 04:35 PM 11-19-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahdoula View Post
"And if you have a c-section and feel upset about it or having an regret, then something is wrong with you, because you still got a healthy baby"

OMG My jaw is seriously hanging open. I can't believe anyone would actually say that. I was unconscious when my dd was born, and I wasn't able to see her until she was over 3 hours old. I was doped up on Morphine for 2 days and because I couldn't carry her for 2 weeks, I was just the "cow" that they brought her to when she was hungry. (Thank God I was bfing, otherwise I never would have seen her) I think there would be something wrong with me if I DIDN'T feel upset about that.
AngelBee's Avatar AngelBee 04:39 PM 11-19-2007
All the nurses that I know in real life have had a Csection or EXTREMELY medical birth.

All formula feed by choice since birth as well.


barefootpoetry's Avatar barefootpoetry 11:25 PM 11-19-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahdoula View Post

"And if you have a c-section and feel upset about it or having an regret, then something is wrong with you, because you still got a healthy baby"
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

::

That BS always brings out the Militant in me that wants to stab people in the eyeballs with rusty forks. Gee, it sure must be nice to be able to detach yoruself completely during traumatizing experiences! Someone teach me that trick!

Why don't they jsut say, "If you feel bummed because your birth experience was robbed from you, then you're just an ungrateful cow who doesnt' deserve to be a mother."

The next time we hear about a woman getting raped, let's tell her, "What are you crying about? At least you didn't get killed."

ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH.
ahdoula's Avatar ahdoula 11:40 PM 11-19-2007
I really didn't mean to rile people up with my story. But I was equally as angry. I think my biggest frustration is that when these moms DID feel regret they were going to feel abnormal based on what she had said. The LDN had gone on a little more basically poking fun at women who get counseling after c-sections. It was truly disrespectful. I did not say anything to her, I was not in a position to do so as I needed her reference for doula certification :

I felt like shaking her though. I don't know how people can be so blind.
GatorNNP's Avatar GatorNNP 01:14 AM 11-20-2007
AngelBee, you need to meet more nurses.

As for the c/sec comment, people have the weirdest ideas about major surgery. I know a researcher (lab guy, who has never seen a laboring woman, I'm sure) who thinks that "in the future all women will want c/sections because of the pain of labor" so we need to test antenatal steroids in the near term infants.

I was so freaked out I walked out of the lecture, I was like 8 months along and preparing to vbac. Sheesh.
hipmummy's Avatar hipmummy 01:18 AM 11-20-2007
Yikes, I live in Ma and plan on maybe going to nursing school to become a midwife. Hopefully she does not instruct at NSCC or Salem State.:
Juvysen's Avatar Juvysen 01:30 PM 11-20-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by barefootpoetry View Post
Blech. My coworkers have all had C-sections, and it pains me to hear them rhapsodize about them: "I didn't have to feel any contractions, it was great!" "My kids didn't have goofy-shaped heads!" UGH.
Wow. I had two vaginal births, and my son (the second one) had no molding at all. None. I've had so many people comment on his perfect head shape. My daughter's molding was gone after like, maybe 2 hours?:

Quote:
The next time we hear about a woman getting raped, let's tell her, "What are you crying about? At least you didn't get killed."

ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH.
And gee, you can get a healthy baby from that, too, but it's not exactly ideal, is it.
Electra375's Avatar Electra375 05:22 PM 11-20-2007
I think I would have slammed the book on the floor and stormed out yelling something powerfully awful about c/s and making a scene! Seriously...

So so so sad
ErinsJuneBug's Avatar ErinsJuneBug 12:05 PM 11-22-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by hipmummy View Post
Yikes, I live in Ma and plan on maybe going to nursing school to become a midwife. Hopefully she does not instruct at NSCC or Salem State.:
Ding Ding Ding!!! Salem State, sadly. I am thinking about speaking with her after the Thanksgiving break. I forget who said it - but I loved the quote from the poster who said "It’s like saying I LOVE appendectomies, I'm an advocate!"
g&a's Avatar g&a 01:17 PM 11-22-2007
I had a conversation with DH on this topic just last night. He jokingly said he wished I'd just have a repeat c-section. He said it out of a place of fear. He's freaked about all the things that can go wrong in childbirth. I know him well enough to know that he said it jokingly so that it wouldn't upset me.

There is so much fear out there about the dangers of childbirth and c-sections just seem so much more certain. I think that's where a lot of these comments come from as well.

g.
richella's Avatar richella 05:22 AM 11-26-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by g&a View Post
There is so much fear out there about the dangers of childbirth and c-sections just seem so much more certain. I think that's where a lot of these comments come from as well.

g.
I'm more inclined to cut your dh some slack on this than to tolerate it from a professional in the medical world, who theoretically ought to know that elective cesarian is simply more dangerous than vaginal birth. No one disputes that c/s are sometimes a lifesaver, but when it's not an emergency, vaginal birth is safer for mom and baby. The idea that there is more control in a c/s is an illusion.

fwiw, dh was worried about vbac when I started talking about it. I insisted on going to a fsbc 80 mi from where we live, and it was a pain in the neck. But after the first visit and hearing about how the baby is never separated from mom, how homey the birth rooms were, how the mw would be present all through labor, etc. he said, "I know now that this is the right place to go, because after going to the appointment I feel excited to go through this process again."
PapayaVagina's Avatar PapayaVagina 10:54 AM 12-01-2007
that is disgusting.

good for you for speaking up.
ericswifey27's Avatar ericswifey27 05:55 AM 12-03-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by barefootpoetry View Post
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

::

That BS always brings out the Militant in me that wants to stab people in the eyeballs with rusty forks. Gee, it sure must be nice to be able to detach yoruself completely during traumatizing experiences! Someone teach me that trick!
Re: "But you've got a healthy baby" I totally understand how this is so not funny... but man your response makes me chuckle.. I too want to stab people in the eyeballs with rusty forks- what a visual! Can I borrow that phrase? LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug View Post

Part of me thinks that when women say that it is just a coping mechanism....i mean is it REALLY possible for a woman to WANT that? I guess there are those out there, but i just cant understand it.
ITA. I NEVER wanted a csection and remember making up excuses for it after it happened pretending it was ok and it was necessary. I could not cope with what happened with me but everyone expected me to put on a happy face because I had a "healthy baby" so that's all that matters: What I could I do other than justify to myself that this was done to me for the good of my baby, that it was not a violation but a blessing, ykwim? Perhaps for some it's an attitude of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em". It's so sad
ericswifey27's Avatar ericswifey27 06:01 AM 12-03-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug View Post
Ding Ding Ding!!! Salem State, sadly. I am thinking about speaking with her after the Thanksgiving break. I forget who said it - but I loved the quote from the poster who said "It’s like saying I LOVE appendectomies, I'm an advocate!"
Oh, I really hope you do. Maybe you can open her eyes. Maybe?

And I think it is so so important that you built up the nerve to respond to her in front of the class. That one action of yours may cause atleast a few nurses-to-be to question the barbaric csection rate in this country.
RoxyJas's Avatar RoxyJas 12:49 AM 12-04-2007
GAG! :Puke
Thats all I can think to say at the moment lol.
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