Have miscarried and am needing some hope. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 08-30-2012, 09:09 PM - Thread Starter
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I am nearly 43 and am miscarrying my first little pregnancy at 8 weeks. My heart is broken, there are no words for the devastation I feel. The ob/gyn was so blunt with me this morning and has left me in a state of distress. Someone please give me some hope that I might fall pregnant again. Meanwhile, my little angel lies lifeless inside me. Life is so cruel. I feel so alone and lost.

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#2 of 7 Old 08-30-2012, 10:31 PM
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I am so sorry. I have had two miscarriages and I know how horrible it feels.  The first time my ob was similarly blunt and I ditched that practice and found a midwife that basically counseled me through it, recognizing my feelings. As she put it, "you started to become a mother when you see the positive pregnancy test." It is a real loss and not one to be minimized.  


For my second mc a new ob was much more sympathetic.   Find a new health care provider, one who can empathize with you and respect your feelings. It won't make it better, but at least it won't make it worse. You deserve better. 


There is a lot on miscarriages here, in the pregnancy loss forum. 


It will be very hard at first (partly because of the sadness itself but also because of the hormone crash). Be gentle with yourself and take it as easy as you can. 

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#3 of 7 Old 08-30-2012, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
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Thankyou xx

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#4 of 7 Old 08-31-2012, 06:59 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Many women at MDC find solace here http://www.mothering.com/community/f/22/pregnancy-and-birth-loss


If and when you are ready to try again, this thread always full of amazing ladies who will be with you on your journey to ttc: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1361668/hope-healing-and-conceiving-september-2012

Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

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#5 of 7 Old 09-24-2012, 08:36 AM
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My goodness!! Life is cruel but why do people have to be like that?

Yes, you can fall pregnant in the future.

Did they say why? Or how?

My mum had one a long time ago which they said the baby was not a baby & actually just a clump of cells giving her false growth & readings. She was completely cut.

I wish you well & hang in there. It will be ok x

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#6 of 7 Old 11-14-2012, 11:38 PM
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I had 2 miscarriages and they were terrible. I now have 1.5 kids (one on the way) I am sure if you became pregnant once you can do it again. Sometimes there really is no reason and it can be scary to try again - one day at a time while pregnant worked for me. And making a deliberate decision to not focus on pregnancy for a while after wards really helped me too.

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#7 of 7 Old 12-07-2012, 07:02 PM
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hi, I can understand how it must be very difficult for you.

no matter what we still love the baby that is inside of us. I'm so sorry for your loss.

we must also think of what is the right thing for the baby and not want to see it suffer.

miscarriages are usually because there is a factor the baby's cells that means that it can't survive, so our body naturally terminates the pregnancy

I was reminded of this when I saw a couple with a baby that had a brain tumor and they had done everything for the poor little thing and in the end they didn't want him tosuffer through all the operations any more. iwas very shocked but now I understand.

miscarriages are a way of your body preparing for thebest pregnancy and the healthiest baby and miscarriages are very common. I think1 in 5. so everyone who has 4 kids will also have 1 miscarriage

also as we become older so do our eggs. this might mean that older people have more miscarriages.

but if you have beenpregnant once it is highly likely that it will happen again

and yes midwives are the best
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