Seriously...how are your vaginas? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 105 Old 12-03-2008, 01:16 AM
 
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Mine is bad - I pee when I cough/sneeze. If I get pg again and have hyperemesis, I may not be able to leave the house for fear of constantly needing new pants!

I hate kegels. I needed about 6 stitches - 3 tears, one 3rd degree.

We had sex at about 6-7 weeks pp and it was painful, somewhat, until probably 6 months?

DS - 5! - adopted at birth after infertility, IUI, and IVF; DD - 4! - surprise pregnancy discovered when DS was 8 months old ; Hoping for another soon (actively TTC ~ 2 years)
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#62 of 105 Old 12-03-2008, 03:44 PM
 
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I've been lurking on this thread long enough-- my vagina says it's time to post...

With #1 had a horrible, 3rd degree, unnecessary episiotomy. Sex was extremely painful for at least a year, lots of scar tissue. It looked "good" but felt horrible. Really messed with my self image... took forever to heal enough to sit comfortably, even. Was painfully numbish for months.

I'm 3weeks pp from #2 now... I tore slightly, 1st degree maybe an inch and a half? next to the episiotomy line. Hard to tell by looking with a mirror exactly how big! I was on my back, with a much needed epidural. Well, a few days after birth, the stitches let go (I was seriously constipated, even though I did everything "right" can you say "impacted" ouch!)... so, now, my vaginal opening is very... open. I can see the frilly folds of the vaginal wall. Looks crazy, feels GREAT! I was totally embarrassed to show DH, but I really wanted his honest opinion and he wasn't mortified (like I was the first time I looked while still swollen). He said it looks a little different, but healed, and at least I'm not hurting :
Haven't DTD or had anything in there, but I can wipe, sit, and move with no pain! Muscle tone feels normal when I do kegles (not that I do them very often)...

I might feel different about it if I hadn't experienced the episiotomy first. But as it is, I have another beautiful, big-headed baby and my crotch doesn't hurt! (and I was respected at the birth- I had the final say with everything. has a lot to do with it, I'm sure)

now, my tailbone still hurts.. but that's another thread

---feeling like an emu on acid---
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#63 of 105 Old 12-07-2008, 01:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow...after several days away from my computer, I am so happy to see this thread is still going! Really, it is so refreshing to hear such candid responses. Keep the responses coming ladies...
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#64 of 105 Old 12-07-2008, 01:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by NokomisThree View Post
Now, the problem with talking about this, especially among women who had C-sections, is that they tend to point to these issues as justification for C's. :
FWIW, the next time someone tells you that, you can tell them you know a woman (me - I know you don't really know me, but that's okay) who has only ever had c-sections, and has had serious problems in that area. After ds2 (my third baby, and a scheduled section...minimal labour, but NO pushing...and dd was no labour at all), I wondered if I'd ever feel normal again. I had no clitoral sensation for about 6 months - some kind of nerve damage, probably - and my pelvis still isn't back to normal. I have a large numb area, and have a great deal of difficulty performing kegels now (I've done them regularly for 20+ years) due to the lack of sensation.

These problems all date back to the date of my surgery with ds2. Admittedly, I've had another baby and c-section (with long labour) since then - and am now pregnant again)...but ds2 will be 3.5 next month, and these problems are still a daily reality. I'm just grateful that the complete destruction of my sex life was only temporary.

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#65 of 105 Old 12-07-2008, 02:46 AM
 
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I had 2nd degree tears w/both births, but they put in a zillion little stitches (particularly the 2nd time), & everything seems back to normal. We didn't DTD until 3 months post partum each time, but that was after I got AF back each time too (despite bf'ing), so I think the quick hormone return had something to do with it. It was a little ouchy the first few times, then back to normal.

: : SAHM to : (5/06), : (7/07) Plus : & a few
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#66 of 105 Old 12-08-2008, 10:16 PM
 
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Very amused at some of y'all's sense of humor... I think IRL we'd get along quite nicely. I think I'm going to have to work in the term "hoohah" in the near future...

Seriously, tho, I've been really interested to see this topic being discussed so candidly. I just had an un medicated hospital birth 6 weeks ago. I am going to the midwife Wednesday, and am hoping to get the ok for DTD along with non-hormonal birth control (because I have trouble spelling diapraghm, lol). This cutie was a surprise, and surprises just aren't as fun when they happen a lot, right?

Was scared to death at the general area ?days pp- because of the bruising and swelling. I read up on so much except tearing, so I was totally okay mentally for things like pooping while pushing and what not, but not bruised labia. I tore top to bottom, yay for no epi tho. I think it was bc I had to be induced (pre-e!), so the contractions were pretty intense. I only pushed a few times too, about 20-30 minutes total. Also, my midwife told me to start doing massage when I was around 36 wks, and DD was born at 36 weeks exactly. Yeah, there goes that!

My sex drive has always been healthy, despite bad experiences, taking anti-depressants, and pain. I'm very apprehensive about DTD because of the 2 labial stitches+2nd degree tear, along with a history of painful sex (entire sexual "life"). I'm trying to not stress out too much, because at least I know I still "work." I guess I'll check back in at a later date. Hopefully with good news.
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#67 of 105 Old 12-08-2008, 11:52 PM
 
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I had pp sex for the first time last night (yay!) and it did not feel like before. Not bad, but definitely different. DH said afterward that things felt the same outside (I had two tears and was really worried about this), but from what I said and how I was reacting the hot spot had moved. I didn't care b/c he found the new spot eventually. : Penetration felt different, I can tell it's a bit looser and DH agreed. Sex is still fun though so I'm too concnerned over any of that, even though I am doing Kegels now.

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#68 of 105 Old 12-09-2008, 12:56 AM
 
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I went for my 6 week check today. I had been concerned earlier that some stitches just below my vagina had let go but it seemed to be healing albeit slowly. Turns out the reason it was still so tender & raw in that spot was I had granulated tissue. He put in some local freezing & was prepared to add a stitch or two but after he removed the granulated tissue he decided the stitching was not necessary (yeah!). Anyway, he says now that area should heal up real quick. I'm relieved as for a 3rd degree tear I think my healing & complications are going very well. Once this little spot heals up I think I will be ready to dtd!

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#69 of 105 Old 12-09-2008, 01:19 AM
 
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Things are ok here, but definitely not the same as it was B.C. (before children). My first was a scheduled c-section (breech presentation) and everything was just fine down there (breastfeeding dryness and low/no libido for many many months, aside).

This past June I had a really fabulous VBAC, which resulted in a small tear (2-3 stitches) and that healed just fine. BUT I also ended up with second degree bladder prolapse (cystocele) and everything felt very odd down there (boo!). Finally, around 10 weeks postpartum I got a referral for a physical therapist and today I officially "graduated" from PT and my cystocele is a non-issue 95% of the time. (!!!) Intercourse is and has been fine (again, breastfeeding and the usual postpartum crap aside), but things are definitely "looser" feeling than they used to be.

Mom to James (ribboncesarean.gif 5/2006), Claire (vbac.gif 6/2008), furry kitties Calvin and Bob, and wife to Dennis. 

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#70 of 105 Old 12-09-2008, 06:30 PM
 
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Okay. I have great girlfriends and we pretty much let it all hang out in our discussions about birth and beyond, but there is one thing that I am not sure we are honest about and that is our vaginas (vulvas, perineums). I recently gave birth for the first time (4 months ago), and after hearing everyone say that they were "back to normal" regardless of their birth stories.

I, unfortunately, ended up with an epiosiotomy - my midwife stated that she was avoiding what looked like it might be a 3 degree tear - that and my son's heartrate was low and slow to recover in between the last contractions and there was meconium etc. In any case, I just don't feel "back to normal" and I'm pretty sure I won't. I think maybe I have had unrealistic expectations of what "normal" would be after birth. Should I have expected to heal completely or is it just "normal" that your vagina (vulva or perineum) will never be the same again - after all I did just push out a baby!!

Any thoughts and honest opinions are appreciated.
Ouch! Sorry to hear that happend to you. :

No candy coating here... I had two 2nd degree tears and skid marks. I was "back to normal" by 8 weeks, I think and have no further issues. Except, and I have no idea if this has to do with the two births I've had or what, my perineum and vagina have been mildly to extremely itchy ever since. It sucks. Nothing seems to help, and I have to wonder if I won't be deal with the itchiness for the rest of my life. Ugh.

But other than that, I feel the same to me, DH told me I was loose at first, but now, not so much.

Stacy - mom to Lily 5-20-06 , Angel, stillborn @ 25 wks 12-17-07 , and Cami 4-21-09.
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#71 of 105 Old 12-10-2008, 05:22 AM
 
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I wish I had this thread 3 weeks postpartum. That was when I was brave enough to pull out a mirror and try to figure out what the heck had happened to me. I had NO IDEA this kind of stuff happens since no one talks about it. I felt damaged, alone, and like I'd never be able to have sex again.

I also tore up... my perineum is completely intact, but one of my labia tore up toward my clitoris. Thank God it stopped where it did, but it is separated from the clitoral hood on one side. That spot has no sensation, but it didn't affect my clitoris. Ultimately it did make sex better because my DH always took longer than me and now we are about equal and I can enjoy it longer.

I also had a rectocele and cystocele and my cervix was very low for months. I thought I was broken. My cervix went back to the normal position and my cystocele and rectocele receded somewhat. I still peed my pants when coughing, sneezing, and jumping up until the last 6 weeks (2 years postpartum)... Somehow after I hit my 3rd trimester that no longer happens. I did have a ton of sex in the 2nd trimester so maybe that helped. I have noticed that the place where I had my internal tear is more sensitive recently though. It never bothered me in the past!

Even though things will never look or feel the same (it took a while to accept that was okay), sex is just as good or better than before. It took me a while to get used to the differences in sensations and structure and how to work with my "new" body.

Mama to DD 9.06 / DD 1.09 and DS 6.10 born at home
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#72 of 105 Old 12-10-2008, 10:27 AM
 
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My vagina and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Seriously.

We used to have a really good relationship. We used to spend quality time together. We took long walks on the beach and had some really fun times together.

*Sigh* Those were the days...

Since the natural birth of my DD three months ago and the subsequent 2nd degree tear and resulting scar tissue, my vagina has shut me out. And my husband, too.

We've tried to normalize relations, but it's been difficult. There are good days and bad days.

I haven't given up on her. We're just taking it one day at a time.

ETA: Are there spas for vaginas? I'd like to buy my vagina a spa day for Christmas.
Oh my GOSH! Thank you, I really needed to read your post. My beautiful boy was born just over a week ago and I'm feeling like my entire pelvic region hates me. I needed the laugh so much right now. Still using pads and still feeling a bit of pain where my stitches were (only had three but for Pete's sake...you'd think I had major surgery!) Nothing worrisome to me...just seems that things will never get back to normal down there. Doesn't help that hubby just got a haircut and is looking all cute and I might actually WANT to have sex some day. :P
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#73 of 105 Old 12-11-2008, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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as this thread dwindles, just wanted to say that I think we should all give our hoohaws a big hug! and, I am happy to report that my vagina feels a little bit more "normal" every day, a slightly new normal, but normal nonetheless!
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#74 of 105 Old 12-11-2008, 02:18 PM
 
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I got lucky... DD caused me a small tear and I needed a few stitches. She was 5 lb 13 oz. I healed just fine. I had no tears with ds. He was 8 lb 7 oz. I healed just fine. I wasn't really all that sore after either kid. I seemed a bit looser after dd, but things were normal by 3 months pp. With ds, I did not attempt sex until 3 months pp (baby lived on the boob night and day, I did not want to have sex like that, ) and I was not loose.
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#75 of 105 Old 12-11-2008, 08:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RedPony View Post
...my perineum and vagina have been mildly to extremely itchy ever since. It sucks. Nothing seems to help, and I have to wonder if I won't be deal with the itchiness for the rest of my life. Ugh.

But other than that, I feel the same to me, DH told me I was loose at first, but now, not so much.
Looking at your signature, it seems you've probably been pregnant, breastfeeding, and/or in or near the "fourth trimester" pretty continuously since '06. It's quite possible that the itching is hormonal. If so, it will probably subside.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#76 of 105 Old 12-12-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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Well, I got really lucky and didn't tear or get cut. I had a few tiny skid marks that really hurt at first when we tried to do anything-it made my clit feel like it was burning really badly! But at almost 9 weeks PP, I do feel like it's back to normal, and my husband says it doesn't really feel any different to him. I guess I got lucky.

Mama to a wild thing (10/08) and a new thing (8/5/10) and wife to the love of my
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#77 of 105 Old 12-13-2008, 09:47 PM
 
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just the thread i was looking for. thanks for all the candid posts! my son is 18 months (my first). sex is the same as before. my husband claims everything feels the same and very tight. we started having sex about 4-6 weeks pp, and it hurt, bad. probably until about 6 months later. i had a small tear (i think the midwife said first degree with like 4-5 stitches.) BUT, i pushed for almost 4 hours. yeah, insane. so, i just had the courage to look down there today. it looks very exposed. not like i remember it looking at all. it kind of freaked me out.
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#78 of 105 Old 12-13-2008, 10:26 PM
 
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My vagina is awesome! Having kids, oddly enough, has done nothing but good things for it. I was too tight and sex was not enjoyable until after I had my SECOND baby, believe it or not. I had a 2nd degree tear and episiotomy with my first baby, which left me still too tight. : But after three kids, my vag feels great and looks great So I guess maybe I'm lucky?
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#79 of 105 Old 12-14-2008, 01:16 PM
 
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I didn't read all of the replies but my lady friend is doing ok. With DS1 I tore 2nd degree in my perrineum (sp?) and it took a while to heal. For the first year or so it felt like I was stitched up too tight. Then all was well. With DS2 I tored in my inner labia and that hurt like a mofo. It took a few months to feel right again but all is well. I can see the scars in bith areas where I was stitched back up. But I swear that everything feels better than it did before DS2.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#80 of 105 Old 12-14-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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couldn't resist reading this and wanted to give a longer term perspective.

my youngest is 4, oldest 7, me and my hoohah are 36!

both vaginal births, no cutting. first birth, 3rd degree tear. took 7 months to feel close to normal.
second birth, waterbirth, small 1st degree tear, 2 inch-long intraperineal? (between inner labia and clitoris) vertical tears. chose not to stitch and ended up healing well by 2 weeks. had sexual intercourse at 4 weeks and felt fine.

am enjoying my post-baby yoni. there is hope!
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#81 of 105 Old 12-21-2008, 05:47 PM
 
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Well, my vajayjay is okay. Not great, not horrible, but okay. I'm definitely much "looser" than I was pre-second birth. After my first birth sex was 10 times better than pre-pregnancy. But after my UC...I'm pretty sure I tore without realizing and thought it healed it didn't heal perfectly. I'm almost 12 mos pp and I've done kegels religiously since the birth but I still don't feel quite normal down there. Maybe once DD is finished nursing things will even out.
I've been wanting to go see a ob/gyn just to have things checked out but I have a phobia of vaginal exams.

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#82 of 105 Old 01-02-2009, 04:00 PM
 
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Thank goodness for this thread! I have been feeling like a freak. I'm now 6 weeks pp with my 8lb. 14oz. VBAC boy, and it feels like alien territory up there. I had one tear, which was like a striation-- horizontally across. It was stitched and now looks like a healed shark bite, and it's still quite tender and tight. DH wants to DTD, but I am extremely skittish, with good reason!

But here's my question, which I hope someone can help with:
I just remembered to do kegels... but as soon as I started doing kegels, I started experiencing incontinence. I seem to leak when bending over, getting up from a sitting position, or otherwise having an "open" situation down there. Will doing more kegels help to fix it or dig me further into tinkledance territory?

I see my MW on the 21st, but i'd love to know that this is normal or fixable before then.
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#83 of 105 Old 01-02-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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I think I posted to this thread earlier, and wanted to update. Just had #4, and it was a crazy fast precipitous labor (mine have always been super short, this time crazy short) and literally the head dropped down, and he came out in only minutes.

And, around one week post partum I checked myself to see what the muscles were like (I didn't feel any bruising this time...my theory was that he was in the perfect position and things were quick). And, the inside felt completely like before. Then, we DTD around 10 days pp and it felt surprisingly good. So, it seems in my experience so far that my recovery gets easier with each birth! Of course, I've been doing my kegels religiously, and am planning to start my gyneflex pelvic floor exerciser soon to get even more pc strength back!

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#84 of 105 Old 01-05-2009, 03:08 AM
 
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My vagina took many many stitches, mainly because I pushed her out WAY too fast and also because the b!tch of a doctor RIPPED me open while her head was in the birth canal, no joke...she TORE me. I split up and I split down and I split out. My vagina was a wreck BUT has since healed (15 months later) and no longer looks the same or feels the same. It is loose and "mature" as I like to call it ...I am more sensitive in a GOOD way, though...so that's great, but otherwise, not so happy

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#85 of 105 Old 01-05-2009, 04:39 AM
 
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Well my vagina hates me right now, although I am 34 weeks pregnant! After DD was born I had a very mild tear, on my labia. It only required like 3 stitches. Anyways things were kinda painful for a few month, I was kinda dry from the BFing. Now I just feel like it looks different, I don't like it either. I am really am uncomfortable with the way I look! I am even more afraid of what will happen after this baby's birth. MW says lots of olive oil and warm compresses tho..so lets hope it works!
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#86 of 105 Old 01-11-2009, 12:16 AM
 
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I'm loving this thread!

My vagina and I were not on speaking terms for a long time. But I've almost forgiven her at this point.

I had an episiotomy with DS1, and I never healed right. My perineum was very, very painful until DS1 was about 8 months old. I think I was stitched up too tight, which made sex uncomfortable even though the rest of my vagina was a little looser (which I actually appreciated, since I was almost "too tight" before having kids).

DS2 was born unassisted; relatively short labor, and brief but intense pushing phase. I thought my vagina came out of it unscathed, but 5 days pp I gathered the courage to look into a mirror, and I had actually torn pretty badly. It had already begun to heal, so I let nature do her work, and that tear healed within a few weeks with no discomfort whatsoever. We had sex at 8 weeks pp and I only had a little pain. My vaginal opening is kind of funny-shaped now, since the torn edges weren't perfectly aligned, but I can deal with it.

The real shocker came when I discovered at 2 months pp that, at 22 years old, I had a prolapsed uterus and cystocele! That killed me. I felt like my body had completely failed me. I didn't have enough pelvic strength to have an orgasm until I was several months pp. Thank God it's gotten better as time has gone on, and I don't experience incontinence, but just knowing that my cervix is hanging out just a few inches into my vagina destroys my confidence. To be so young, and in good shape, only 2 babies, easy births . . . gah. Turns out I was predisposed to prolapse; I'm pretty sure my mother and grandmother had it (both had incontinence problems after having children), and I already had a tipped uterus, and women with reddish hair tend to be affected most by it. I've accepted the reality of what condition my vagina is in, but I still wish I could just get a new one!

Oh, and to whoever said "frankenpussy" - : You almost made me wake up my kids!

A, wife to R and mom to 3 boys: D~ 10/05, J~ 8/07, and B~ 12/09 jumpers.gif

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#87 of 105 Old 01-11-2009, 10:32 PM
 
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Hilarious title!

I had a natural birth and a large tear. My vagina seems slightly more loose since giving birth but it's actually been a good thing because intercourse used to be painful, if not impossible, for me. In fact, my body seems to respond better to stimulation in general (ie lubes up faster and orgasms last longer/feel better etc).

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#88 of 105 Old 01-11-2009, 10:51 PM
 
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I haven't read the whole thread, but I would recommend that mammas who are unhappy with or have physical problems with their vaginas or surrounding areas, go see a Urologist!!!
I worked for a urologist and his wife for 6 months and learned a bunch about prolapse, rectocele and cystocele and that surgery can correct a LOT of these problems. If you've had bad tears that didn't heal correctly, even if it's just a visual thing, or an actual problem, if you have scarring, tightness, looseness, pain, discomfort, excessive scars... all that stuff can be addressed by a good urologist.
It's SOOO not worth just "accepting" it. If you're unhappy, get help with it!!! There are sites on the internet you can google too, about vaginal rejuvination and repairs...... there is SO much that can be done now, you can be back to normal!!! Check it out!
- Jen

Mom of 5 working full-time and waiting to go to nursing school! Whew! I need a nap! joy.gif

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#89 of 105 Old 01-12-2009, 09:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by thixle View Post
now, my tailbone still hurts.. but that's another thread
Mine, too! I still have to be really careful how I sit or I will get up and it aches and aches.

My vagina is doing OK 26 months postpartum. Sex has been fine since we went for it 6 weeks PP. I think I got away with minimal damage considering that I was pushing for 4+ hours. Still a bit leaky if a sneeze catches me off guard, but that's not, strictly speaking, a vaginal problem, is it?

The one thing that bothers me is that I had what was described to me as a "tiny, one-stitch tear, about an inch inside" my vagina. (Homeborn baby, transfered because placenta didn't separate, so at this point I was numb, my legs in the air...) I thought, well, as long as they're down there, why not stitch it up? I wish I had insisted that it be left to heal naturally. Maybe it was the stitch and maybe not, but that tiny one-stitch tear has healed into a marble-sized 'blob' of scar tissue that sits at my vaginal opening. It's not painful and honestly, I can't even feel it, but I do wish it wasn't there.

Expat mama to my 7-year-old Halloween boy and my cheeky preschooler, who came before the midwife in January 2010... Gestating a new bean, debuting spring 2014!
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#90 of 105 Old 01-12-2009, 01:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CrunchyMamaToBe View Post
The one thing that bothers me is that I had what was described to me as a "tiny, one-stitch tear, about an inch inside" my vagina. (Homeborn baby, transfered because placenta didn't separate, so at this point I was numb, my legs in the air...) I thought, well, as long as they're down there, why not stitch it up? I wish I had insisted that it be left to heal naturally. Maybe it was the stitch and maybe not, but that tiny one-stitch tear has healed into a marble-sized 'blob' of scar tissue that sits at my vaginal opening. It's not painful and honestly, I can't even feel it, but I do wish it wasn't there.
Same here! I'm 18 mo. post-partum and finally got up the courage to have a look at my vajayjay after reading this thread. Imagine my surprise when I saw a weird-looking blob on one side of my vagina! I can only assume it was the "small, 3-stitch tear" my MW told me about after delivery. I wish I had told her to leave it alone.

Does anyone have experience with letting small tears heal naturally? I did have some more extensive tearing in my perineum, which was stitched. But I can't see any scarring in that area.

Mom to retired nursling Lily (6/22/07) and wife to my wonderful DH since 3/19/05
Baby Aerick is here! Born at 40+6 on 5/16/10
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