friend's less than perfect (IMO) delivery - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 11-27-2003, 12:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My friend just had her baby yesterday. The first thing that makes me cringe is the fact that they induced her because she asked to be induced and she wasn't due for a couple more days! The second thing is that they used Cytotec! I just found that out tonight! The third thing is she had an epidural when she wasn't going to. The fourth thing is that although they couldn't delay clamping the cord as it was wrapped around the baby's neck twice pretty tight, the midwife told her that delaying clamping could actually hurt the baby, as it wasn't supposed to get all that blood. ????

She had an ok delivery and she seems just fine now, but she did have meconium in the amniotic fluid and also passed some baseball sized clots last night which caused her hemoglobin to drop very low and she almost needed a transfusion. I'm assuming that this is related to the Cytotec...is my assumption probably right? Also...what's your take on the cord clamping explanation? Are they feeding her a line of bull? I can't really think of a reason why it would be harmful to not clamp the cord right away. I'm very disappointed in this whole thing and it wasn't even *my* birth!
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#2 of 19 Old 11-27-2003, 02:57 AM
 
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Well, anyone that can get through a Cytotec induced birth without an epidural is amazing, so I can see why she chose an epidural.

Yes, Cytotec can cause postpartum hemorrhages.

No, it does not hurt the baby to leave the cord intact. If it was dangerous to have the cord intact until after the placenta was born, don't you think your cord would come with a pair of scissors?

Geez. I guess the most important thing is: how does SHE feel about the birth?
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#3 of 19 Old 11-27-2003, 02:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She seems to be fine with it. She doesn't really have any preconceived notions about anything. She *says* she's not going to vax, but when they told her to get a flu shot last month, she got it "because they said I should". I'm not really surprised how this birth went, but it scared me to find out that she ended up getting everything I've found (by researching) to be risky and unnecessary.
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#4 of 19 Old 11-29-2003, 02:24 AM
 
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I just wanted to comment on some of the things she said.

Do you know this woman's blood type and the husbands? Well there could have a been a reason the midwife said what she did. We have ABO incompatibility which can cause a serious form or jaundice. After having a baby that had dangerously high jaundice due to this before they could barely get my son out I was wanting them to cut his cord right away.
Also, unless you have experienced an induced labor with pit or cytotec I dont think its right to judge that she chose to have an epidural. My aunt was on PIT after PROM at 36 weeks. She tried to be "brave" and have a natural delivery for hours -- suffering with slamming contractions coming every 90 seconds. I am so thankful she got the epidural -- as soon as she got it she dilated from 2 to 10 in four hours -- during that time she rested and let it wear off and she pushed for over four hours to have her baby.
Maybe your friend didnt have the most ideal labor but at least she didnt get a csection. :
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#5 of 19 Old 11-29-2003, 01:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know it didn't have anything to do with blood type. What was strange was she had this whole "birth plan" and nothing went according to it.

I wasn't JUDGING her because of the epidural. Up until the morning she was induced, she was under no circumstances having one (says she). When I talked to her yesterday about cytotec induced contractions being harder she shrugged and said she didn't notice them being any harder. So it wasn't because she was in unbearable pain.

It just scared the heck out of me that so many things were used on her that could have endangered her and the baby when she wasn't aware of the risks. Nothing went according to her original plan and it didn't have to be that way. There was no reason at all for her to be induced--she wasn't even due for another couple of days, the baby wasn't stressed, nothing. I think it was just because it was convenient.

I forgot to mention that after cytotec induction on Monday morning, they gave her Morphine to sleep that night. She got itchy and so they gave her something else and then labor slowed/stopped on Tues. morning, so they gave her more cytotec.

She passed another baseball sized clot yesterday morning at home.
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#6 of 19 Old 12-01-2003, 04:21 PM
 
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Sorry that your friend's birth did not go as planned.
It is very hard to say that you won't get the epidural before being in labor. I had epidurals with both of my deliveries. With my first delivery I was induced at 38 weeks for IUGR. I had Pitocin, Staydol for pain relief (IV), had water broken, all IV fluids, and the Epidural. My baby was born after 12 hours and although she was petite (5.12) she was nowhere near as small as they had predicted. Her cord was cut right away due to the suspicion of IUGR. They wanted to check her immediately.
My second labor was different. I knew I wanted an intervention free delivery and I strived to have it. I went into labor on my own at 39 weeks. I got stuck at 8cm and after 3 hours of feeling the need to push and being told not to, the drs. told me I'd need Pitocin to get my labor progressing again. I told them that if I was going to have to have Pitocin, I wanted the Epidural. They gave me all the IV fluids and the Epi and Pit. My ds wasn't born for another 5 HOURS after getting the Epi. and I was so thankful that I was able to use that time to rest. After pushing for 2 hours, ds was born "floppy". They said he might have an infection and cut his cord quickly and took him away. He was fine though. He was 8.9 and labor was 15 hours.
Every labor and delivery are different. Until you are there in the moment, it is hard to say what will and won't happen. I'm sorry that your friend ended up with all of those interventions, but please remember that she and baby are safe and that is all that really matters.
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#7 of 19 Old 12-02-2003, 05:21 AM
 
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Cytotec. Why on earth do they use that awful drug!!!!!!

Grr.....

Your friend will need to process things with you when she is ready. I am glad you are there for her.
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#8 of 19 Old 12-02-2003, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks! I am totally there for her. She is struggling with breastfeeding now and has all but quit. I feel bad for her, but it's her life, her baby, and she has to do what's best for her. I just wish she were stonger in her convictions and maybe she would have spoken up and said "no, I don't want that", kwim?
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#9 of 19 Old 12-02-2003, 11:53 AM
 
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Just FYI, it's apparently a common misconception even among midwives that cords have to be clamped and cut right away (no matter what, not just in cases of blood incompatibility). I had this argument with one of the 7 midwives at my birthing center (who ended up being my midwife, damnit), brought her research papers and everything, wrote it out in my birth plan and she STILL clamped and cut early (which is one of the many things I'm still pissed off about). I think the other midwives there are also pretty med-wifey, but she was an extreme.

Probably Pam knows the name of the "syndrome" or issue "they're" afraid of if cord clamping is delayed?

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#10 of 19 Old 12-08-2003, 03:53 PM
 
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OMG can you go and breastfeed with her, Brayg? After all those toxic and endangering circumstances at her birth, we've gotta support her gentleness with breastfeeding...I've gone over with a couple women I know to just have a nursing session--show her how it works for you...can you do that I wonder? Sound like that baby deserves some gentle nurturing...you sound like a good concerned friend Brayg, you rock for thinking about her.....
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#11 of 19 Old 12-08-2003, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Mountain! :*) That means a lot to me that you said that, because I've been feeling like people thought I was very judgemental, whereas I was just worried 'bout them.

Well...as far as breastfeeding goes, I think she's done. I'm so sad for them. Sad for her that she won't experience the joys of producing the best thing on earth for her baby and sad for her baby that she will not get what she's entitled to. They are now spending so much money on formula.

I did what I could to encourage it. Aside from driving the 1 1/2 hours to her home every day and physically assaulting her to nurse :LOL :LOL :LOL (JUST kidding!!!) I can't do any more. I am going to start training soon to be a LLL leader, too, so I kind of feel like a failure, but I know in my heart that she was going to what she wanted anyway. I did drive up to her when she was having problems and brought her breastfeeding info, my breastpump, a boppy-like pillow...anything I could think of to make her experience better. No such luck.
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#12 of 19 Old 12-10-2003, 12:14 PM
 
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This thread made me sad because I thought I was reading about MY birth experience here...

I had to be induced due to major edema, and they used misoprostle. I asked about the risks because I had done the research and they showed me the statistics that showed that they never had problems in that hospital because they use such a low dosage.

I also had 2 days of pitocin...I went through 41 hours of labor before getting the epidural (after 41 hours of labor, I was exhausted and I didn't have the strength to do a thing)...then after a total of 51 hours and 20 minutes, I ended up having to push for over 3 hours before we realized the head was stuck, so I ended up also having to have an episiotomy (after getting a 3rd degree tear) and vacuum suction--they found merconium in the amniotic fluid so they couldn't delay vacuum anymore...it turns out the baby had his cord around his neck. I was devistated that my labor and delivery went that way (I was determined to have a natural birth, but that was impossible due to the complications).

HOWEVER...Brandon came out and after he got checked out, he started nursing--and he latched on the FIRST time! He was nursing like a champ until the next day when the nurses gave him sugar water against my wishes (I hadn't slept in 4 days since arriving at the hospital, and they told me--a first time mom--that my baby was starving) THAT is when his nursing problems started.... (luckily, he's 2 1/2 weeks old now and is now back to nursing well)

Anyhow, sorry this is long--your friend's story reminded me of my birth...I feel bad for her. Sometimes the interventions are not by choice...

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#13 of 19 Old 12-10-2003, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry 'bout your birth experience.

The difference with my friend is that she requested to be induced. Her midwife wouldn't/couldn't do it, so she found an OB to do it. So, no, it wasn't necessary, IMO, intervention.

I did get good news, though...she is nursing! At least giving it one last shot. Yay!
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#14 of 19 Old 12-10-2003, 12:51 PM
 
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I'm glad she's nursing!!

How on earth did she find a doctor to do the induction? I always thought that if you didn't see them the entire time, they wouldn't do the birth unless there was an emergency?

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#15 of 19 Old 12-10-2003, 03:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have no clue. Her midwife did end up coming in to assist though. The whole thing baffles me. :
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#16 of 19 Old 12-11-2003, 01:15 PM
 
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Brayg -- oh, this thread-- I feel for you and your friend. It's so odd having done so much research on birth and made the choices I've made to watch good dear friends that I care so much about fall into the "traps" of poor medical care.

I have a friend that read everything she could get her hands on before getting pregnant -- Shelia Kitzinger, Naomi Wolf, Ima Mae, etc and totally agreed with each. Then, when she got pregnant her Gyno recommended an OBG at a pretty conservative hospital with a high c-section rate. He insists on episiotomies, says she won't get an interevention "unless she needs one," told her she'd have trouble giving birth unmedicated, and a whole bunch of other WARNINGS. Earlier in her pregnancy, I talked to her about interviewing some other care providers. She liked the idea, but never did. She wanted to take Bradley classes, but she wasn't sure if her Dr. would "allow" her to. So, she took the hospital classes. For me, it's like watching a plan crash. At this point, she's in her 3rd timester. I'm just trying to support her in her decisions and encourage to her to investigate breastfeeding.

It's just so hard to watch someone you love get inadequate care and make choices that go against their previous thinking. It's like she's brainwashed!

Now, her latest u/s revealed that "that baby is big for dates" so she said that her dr. wouldn't let her go over her due date and that the baby should come early. Do I need to say the problems I see coming!?!?

I'm sorry that your friend couldn't experience the joys natural childbirth. I hope she can deal with issues as they come up (and they might not. She may feel very satisfied forever). I'm glad that you are there to support her in bfing. And being a good friend. And, I'm so sorry you had to watch as that happened to a good friend of yours. It's so painful to care so much about them and really be powerless over the decisions they make. I try to remember, it's her choice. I value my friend because of her independence. She's made the best decision she knows how and will hopefully be satisfied with the results. Afterall, it's her birth, not mine (THANK GOD!).

Spark and her four firecrackers.
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#17 of 19 Old 12-11-2003, 01:57 PM
 
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I have a friend who wanted a natural birth, but felt she had to go to an ob and a hospital b/c of a blood disorder she has, & she ended up with induction b/c of a big baby (baby was, indeed, over 9lbs.) and then spent a lot of time laboring on pit w/o an epidural b/c the anesthesiologist was afraid to give her one b/c of that disorder...etc.etc.etc...eventually, c/s. And I never really said or say anything to her about it, but now, almost a year later, I think she's starting to grieve the whole process and finally sort through what happened to her and her reactions to it.

I don't know what my point is, really, other than to say that at this point, really, the best thing you can do for her as a friend is to be ready to listen.
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#18 of 19 Old 12-11-2003, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks gals!

I really don't think she will grieve this at all. Guess maybe that's the best, but it would be nice for her to see some things in this that maybe she can change when she gets pg with her next baby.
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#19 of 19 Old 12-11-2003, 11:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by leakyandsnort
b/c of a big baby (baby was, indeed, over 9lbs.) and then spent a lot of time laboring on pit w/o an epidural b/c the anesthesiologist was afraid to give her one b/c of that disorder...etc.etc.etc...eventually, c/s.
My first baby was 10 pounds...the only difference was I was at HOME !!! just my $.02: Poor mama...I wish we could all have simple beautiful births like we are meant to
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