Is that third baby really a WILDCARD?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 12:35 AM - Thread Starter
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I am expecting my third child in February, and my midwife has dropped a few hints that the birth may not be like the previous two - she told me the third baby is a wild card! I didn't follow up with her about it right then, wasn't enough time, and don't want to wait for the next appt, but it's bugging me.

Can any of you ladies give me a little more idea of what she might be talking about? I had pretty reasonable births with the first two, very short (9hrs & 3hrs) and another one along those lines would be just fine by me. But if it's not going to be like them, I want to prepare myself - if I can...

TIA for your help!
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#2 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 12:58 PM
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I've never heard anyone say that about the third birth, but my third experience was terrific. My first two births took forever, and i had a lot of interventions. My third however, was born 6 hours after my water broke! With no interventions too. I can't imagine you'd be able to predict labor. Just do what you can now to be prepared, physically and mentally, kwim?

Sahm mom to three lovely girls, and happily married to a great, sweet guy
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#3 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 02:40 PM
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I think ANY number baby is a wild card. This birth might go just the way your first two did, or it may go completely different. There's just no way to know at this point. It may be that your midwife is just wanting you to keep a corner of your mind open for "anything can happen" even though you've had two good births already--you know, not to just assume that everything will go perfectly because it has before. It's good to keep in mind that you never know what "birth card" you'll be dealt, but it sounds like you've had great success playing your hand in the past. I hope whatever path things take, it's a wonderful experience for you and your family!
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#4 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 03:30 PM
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My third baby was a breeze. I could have played cards. It was so easy!

The first two were long, painful, posterior labors. OUCH!
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#5 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 04:06 PM
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My SIL's first two both came several days after the edd and her labors were both about average in length. They were expecting the third to be about the same. Instead, it came several days early and the labor was only 3 hours start to finish!

"Different" doesn't necessarily mean bad.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#6 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 05:38 PM
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Peggy Vincent mentioned this phenomena in her book "baby catcher" regarding her third birth - first births are difficult, second births are 'easy' and third births are unpredictable. But, ITA with everything everyone else has said - any birth is unpredictable, and different does not mean worse!
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#7 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 10:48 PM
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the birth may not be like the previous two
VERY(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) true in my case!! Omgoodness!

I swore to EVERYONE that my third birth would be like my first two. They were both 2wks early..labor started w/ bloody show, bhix-like cntx, at about 8cm the cntx got intense, water broke right before I started pushing, the pushing stage was one HUGE cntx w/ no break and then I was holding a baby!!

My third was COMPLETELY different. I had practice labor at 37wks that dialated me to 3cm then stopped! I had called the mw and we got stuff ready..then nothing! lol At 40w1d I finally went into labor. Even at 8cm my cntx were a breeze!!!! My water finally broke...a little pop..then burst about a minute before dd was crowning. My pushing stage was TOTALLY different..I had a break inbetween cntx and was able to talk/laugh!!! It's weird to watch the video and see me grunting/pushing then smiling. LOL
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#8 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 11:04 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for sharing your stories! I get a real sense of the adventure of it, instead of the slightly spooked feeling I had before...

It *really* helps to feel that others have been along this path, most people I know IRL are happy with one or two and are not able to discuss this!
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#9 of 11 Old 11-29-2003, 11:37 PM
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yeah, I think it's just because you have two other births to compare it to, so you have these expectations - and typically, each baby has its own journey! So, yes, different does NOT have to mean horrible!

Typically, third babies have their own pattern and emergence - and it's usually different!

(But, to my clients that have more than, say, 7 kids or so, each baby is a WILDCARD!)
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#10 of 11 Old 12-01-2003, 10:21 AM
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1st baby....24 hours, head down, big tear (big ouch)
2nd baby...22 hours, breech then turned down at end, skid mark (still ouch)

3rd and 4th came together....
3rd baby...10 hours, bum first, no tear (over 8 pounds) THEN an hour and a half later....
4th baby...feet first, no tear (8 pounds 10 ounces), didn't breath for a while but with help of my wonderful, well-trained and instinctual midwife and friend, Alisa, he was fine.

so yeah, the third was totally different. labour was MUCh shorter, pushing was much longer and her cute little bum came out first. when she crowned (or rather bummed) she pee'd. It was really funny to look down and see a beautiful girl's bottom and this beautiful golden stream arcing out of me.

not sure that this helps...i agree that EVERY baby is a wildcard.
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#11 of 11 Old 12-01-2003, 09:41 PM
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I think it's just superstition. Although, mine kind of did follow that pattern... the first was long and hard (although that had a lot to do with how the birth was managed) the second was relatively short and easy (although just as painful,) and the third was inbetween. (Long like the first one, but easier like the second.)
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