moms over 35 still making babies... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 11-30-2003, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay I waited a long time to finally be a mom, I just had my dd in Sept 03, she's wonderful, parenting is wonderful and now I am freaking out because I feel like I waited too long and should of done this in my twenties because I really want a couple more (at least one more) child, I love mothering!! but the pregnancy was hard on me, I had pre-eclampsia and ended up with the dreaded c-section (ugh) but darnit, I want to do it again....any moms out there starting their families now like me at 35? would love to hear from you.....
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#2 of 16 Old 11-30-2003, 02:21 PM
 
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Well, in this past year, I've had quite a number of clients over 35 - one that was 39, another that was 40, and the last that was 44.

It used to be that over 40 was considered an "elderly gravida" as the docs like to call it. Now, it's like over 32! LOL!

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#3 of 16 Old 11-30-2003, 02:57 PM
 
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I'm one of those "old" women having babies. My last was born when I was 35, and we may yet have another.
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#4 of 16 Old 11-30-2003, 04:17 PM
 
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I had my first at 33 and am now expecting my second, due two weeks before I turn 36 . I'm personally glad that I waited ~ I'm much better equipped to be a good parent now than I was in my 20s (but that's just for ME, there are plenty of wonderful parents in their 20s of course).

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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#5 of 16 Old 11-30-2003, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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it was hard on me, my body didn't adjust well, got pre-eclampsia I puked pretty much the whole time, it was just hard on me...I wanted to feel so like a goddess when I was pregnant but mostly I just felt like crap and wanted it to be over, but then when it was and I had this wonderful healthy baby, I was sad and ready to do it again.....weird?
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#6 of 16 Old 11-30-2003, 07:58 PM
 
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hi terion! you could join us real oldies if you like at

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...threadid=87796
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#7 of 16 Old 12-01-2003, 06:35 AM
 
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hi there~
we are also starting a family in our "old age" I am 36 & DH is 44. As far as pregnancy, mine went really smoothly & was very easy on me. Even tho I was/am quite overweight, I didn't have any problems like GD or even any serious aches & pains to speak of. Very lucky, I know.

Right after I had DS, I was thinking alot about when we could want #2. I think for me it was like getting off a roller coaster & saying"How cool, let's do it again" Now that DS is 6 months(!), I am definitely not so gung-ho. He is totally wonderful & a pretty easy baby now that we are past the colic stuff, but man, it will be a while before I feel "together" again. Life is so different! I think one part of starting a family in my 30s instead of 20s is that I am more set in my ways & this is a pretty huge adjustment!

Anyway, I guess bcz of how easy my pregnancy was I am not too too worried about the next one, if there is a next one. I do feel like I will have to "get it together" before we start trying, as in: lose weight, home improvments, improved relationship with DH, better habits, more family support, etc. The 1st time around, I wasn't going to let any of that type of stuff stop me from being a mama, but now that I am a Mama, I guess I feel like I have a higher standard to meet to go for #2. Wierd, I know.

Anyway, thanks for the thread, very interesting topic, and congrats on being a new mom, we really aren't that old, are we!
~Maria
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#8 of 16 Old 12-01-2003, 10:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah I have some getting it together stuff to do too, lose my weight, home stuff etc,
and I agree with being more set in my ways at this age, I thought I would have/bring so much more patience and wisdom to motherhood by waiting and I guess I have but I am def. set in my ways and at first the losing of my free will was really shocking to me....: and there were moments in the beginning that I thought why did I do this and moments when I thought ooh lets do it again she's growing so fast. now I'm just gonna let nature do it's thing...
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#9 of 16 Old 12-01-2003, 08:48 PM
 
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My health was pretty good. The pregnancy wasn't a breeze, but it wasn't awful either. I have nothing to compare it to, though, because I've had all my babies in my thirties... I have no idea what it would have been like if I'd had them younger.

I think having a baby would have been just as much of a shock to my lifestyle no matter what age I was at! I think it actually might have been harder when I was younger because I was so much in the "independent working girl, party all the time" mentality, and I was already easing out of that before I ever got pregnant.
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#10 of 16 Old 12-01-2003, 09:47 PM
 
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i'm 36. conceiving wasn't a problem. i thought my pregnancy was pretty uneventful - but, i had a cervical polyp that was removed surgically at 20 weeks and Joe was born 2mo early and i had ante-partum depression... still, i didn't think it was so bad. i did think i was getting tired and cranky near the end and thought it might be because i was 'old', but it could have been the depression, as well.

i changed my whole life around in anticipation of the baby 2 years before he was born, not that we were ttc the whole time, just sorting things out and downsizing, etc. so, i'm adjusting to the changes, but i did leave myself a lot of leeway in anticipation.

i worry al the time about being 'old', and where i'll be when Joe gets to be this age or that age. right now i'm just going with the flow and don't have much of a game plan besides taking cues and being happy.

also, i think there is a girl baby waiting to come into our lives. i have no idea when or if this will happen. but, i see it as a plan, even though we aren't actively ttc. i suppose if it works out, she's welcome to join us.

Lori
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#11 of 16 Old 12-01-2003, 10:07 PM
 
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Hi there, I am definitely over 35 - didn't have #1 til 39, then #2 at 41, and now pg w/#3 at 43!!

So I would say, relax - you've got some time on the meter. Of course everyone is different and fertility does decline, but you sound like having a good chance at a tribe if you want them!
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#12 of 16 Old 12-04-2003, 10:58 PM
 
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I had my first (and only, for now...) when I was 32. I would not have made a great mom in my 20's.
That's just me, though.
I think that some of us were just meant to do things at different times in our lives. I mean, if I had had a baby while I was in my mid-twenties...I hate to think of how screwed up that poor innocent child would be by now!
Thankfully, I have matured....some...

So, here we are, 34 and 39 and I want many more.
My porr DH...he likes the practice though.

Jennifer
Wife to Steve ,:bf mama to Gabriel
Mama to many children with fur

Jennifer, Wifey to Stevenwinky.gif, Mommy to Gwhistling.gif and Hfairy.gif. TTC for 5 years.
Praying for God to bless us again!

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#13 of 16 Old 12-05-2003, 03:54 AM
 
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Nice to meet you all!
I am 41 years old and starting to ttc this month!!!

My last baby was born at age 38, and I really didn't think a thing about it.

Emmalala;
I am especially glad to see you here, is your pregnancy an easy one?
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#14 of 16 Old 12-05-2003, 05:17 AM
 
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I got pregnant at 37 and had the baby just after turning 38. I love being a mom! More than I even thought. I find all of it fascinating and I like that I'm not stressing about the career thing. I feel a little bit like "been there and done that...now I'm going to do this". Its great for me. However, it did take some time to get pregnant and now I'm wondering how people have 2 under the age of 2. My dh wants to start ttc when ds is one (in 2 months) and I'm not so sure. I guess the only reason I've thought it might have been nice to start earlier is to be able to space the babies a little further apart. But, early menopause seems to run in my family so we'll probably give it a go pretty soon.

Good to meet other 'older' moms. To be honest, the age thing doesn't really bother me...but my dh is another story. He keeps calculating how old he'll be when ds is graduating from High School etc. (He was 42 when ds was born).
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#15 of 16 Old 12-06-2003, 03:08 PM
 
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My Father was born at home when his mom was 38. He was her "baby".

My maternal aunt had her last of nine at age 41.

My mom's last of nine childern was born at home days before she turned 38.

My fourth and last was also born at home days before my 38th birthday!

Runs in the family.

I am grateful to have him.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#16 of 16 Old 12-06-2003, 03:25 PM
 
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me too, applejuice. i just had dd#2 at 39. had dd#1 at 36. my mom had me when she was 38. my grandmother had my dad when she was over 35, too. definitely runs in the family. my dad is in poor health now, though, so in that way having older parents is not so great, but my mom is in good health so you just never know do you? i hope when our girls are grown we'll be around to enjoy it, but we could get hit by a bus tomorrow so i guess i might as well not worry about that.

for the record i had incredibly easy pregnancies and a wonderful birth ctr birth with dd#2. dd#1 was a hospital birth that sorta dragged on (epidural slowed me down, i think). i couldn't have wished for anything differently with dd#2's birth. if anything the second pregnancy was easier than the first. her birth definitely was.

have i read that moms who have pre-eclampsia in a first pregnancy are less likely to have it in a second pg? i would try not to worry about it too much. read everything you can. ina may gaskin's new book was my bible during this pg. but chances are other pregnancies won't be like your first. certainly, there are plenty of us on here who are living proof that you can have babies when you're over 35!

hth

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