Talk to me about tearing--what does it feel like? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 49 Old 12-15-2008, 04:48 PM
 
brackin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 363
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I definitely didn't feel the tearing. My friends who had epidurals often comment that they most fear the "ring of fire," the sensation when the baby is crowning and tearing may take place, but as I told them, that was definitely the very least of my concerns at the time (pushing being the primary concern for me...really don't like the pushing phase...).

Brackin, mom to DD (10/02), DS (5/06) and DS (12/09) jumpers.gif
brackin is offline  
#32 of 49 Old 12-15-2008, 05:00 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a second degree tear, but didn't feel/notice it until the next day. So much was going on down there already (baby coming out, then hemorrhaging) that I was oblivious to it.

love.gif

pinksprklybarefoot is offline  
#33 of 49 Old 12-15-2008, 07:19 PM
 
Unconventional1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Colorado!!!
Posts: 490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a third degree tear. It took half an hour to get his head out (posterior and partial-frontal crowning so I got the full 14 inches of him). I knew I would tear, because I couldn't get him out any other way. His head pushing on my perineum hurt, but by the time I tore, I was numb there. It felt like a wet, warm pop. One second he was inside the next his whole head was out. I really tried to ease him out, but I just couldn't fit him.

I agree about the after pains being the worst. I sat in the bath at least 10 times a day. And going # 2 was excrutiating. I felt like my bottom was falling out every time and would cry when I felt like I had to go for a couple weeks. It took about 6 weeks to heal most of the way, but I had pain for like 6 months.

Momma to G 12/06 A 2/09, AND ANNOUNCING... Welcome big boy! A 5/10/10 9 lbs 10 oz! We and had our 3rd UP/UC!
Unconventional1 is offline  
#34 of 49 Old 12-15-2008, 07:46 PM
 
devon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a partial 3rd degree and BOY did I notice when it happened. Stabbing, sharp pain in one place. The stitching was done poorly by a resident and I had a lot of pain for about 3 weeks afterwards.

No significant tearing with #2 - but I was in the water until the actual coming out and I also really supported my perineum and let my body push it out which I think was the reason. MUCH less painful and no recovery needed at all.
devon is offline  
#35 of 49 Old 12-16-2008, 05:34 PM
 
purplepaperclip's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 563
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had 4th degree perineal tearing with internal and labial tearing and let me tell you, I FELT IT! LOL Like a PP said, I could feel the skin splitting and everything burned like hell. Stitching up took forever and a year and also hurt really and felt really really weird.
purplepaperclip is offline  
#36 of 49 Old 12-17-2008, 12:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,610
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
I had no idea I'd torn. BUT... I kept hearing how painful "The Ring of Fire" is - so I was expecting a lot of pain there. Actually, my "ring of fire" wasn't all that bad. Yeah, it hurt, but it didn't last long & honestly, I guess I had expected it to be torture - so since I was expecting the worst, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. Ha - I think the way my mind is, things are just always worse in my head than in reality.
Heh; I remember that during the pushing stage, I turned to DH and said quite matter-of-factly "I can see why they call it the ring of fire". I was a bit out of it, though, and said some odd things--after Rowan's head was out I was pathetically asking "What's born? What's born?", because I felt I couldn't possibly push anything else out! I also had my eyes screwed tight for the last few hours of labour and panicked if I couldn't feel where DH was, or if I thought he'd left my side--it never occurred to me to open my eyes and look. Very weird, but it seemed perfectly normal at the time.

After reading these stories I guess I really was lucky not to tear! Especially given the nuchal hand thing. What's interesting is that I felt like I was pushing with all my might, but it wasn't voluntary pushing--I mean, I only pushed when my body was making me push--and afterwards, my midwife said that I had 'just breathed the baby out'. At the time I was thinking "Like fun I breathed her out!", but now I can sort of see what she meant. I've since read up on the theory of not consciously pushing, and I think maybe that was partly why I didn't tear. The only time I pushed without feeling that 'pushy' overwhelming sensation was after the birth, when they had to forceps the placenta out. And that was not fun. Do people really push, as it were, deliberately? I can't imagine that. I kept looking forward to resting between pushes, I didn't want more of 'em!

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is online now  
#37 of 49 Old 12-17-2008, 01:59 AM
 
lifeguard's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Coyote Rock Farm
Posts: 6,574
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Smokering - I was the opposite of you the only time I had the desire to push was for the placenta - it really surprised me when all of a sudden I wanted to push. I very much so had to gear myself up & deliberately push. I wish I knew why...

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

lifeguard is offline  
#38 of 49 Old 12-17-2008, 02:07 AM
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,670
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had 2 small tears with my first ds and I didn't notice at all until the mws told me. With my second I did my own perinium support and did not tear at all.

The difference was in the recovery.
flowers is offline  
#39 of 49 Old 12-17-2008, 02:10 AM
 
aurora_skys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 517
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
One of my labia tore, right on the inside at the mouth of my vagina. My baby was right occiput posterior which I think contributed to the tear. The whole "front end" area burned from getting stretched but counter pressure by the mw helped to alleviate some of the intensity. I was aware of the tear whn it happened... It felt like when you snap your fingers. Pressure and then a sudden shift when the skin gave. The tear was an inch long and not deep enough to require stitches (although I think some would have chosen to stitch this one...) The tear was not painful when it happened (there were so many other sensations going on that what basically amounts to a good sized cut was nothing), the real pain was in the delicate tissues around my clit. It was a walk in the park for my perinium though, lol!! It healed nicely and only hurt when urine got on it (which, ouch by the way!) although now the scar sometimes stings randomly.. It wasnt nearly as bad as I imagined!!
aurora_skys is offline  
#40 of 49 Old 12-17-2008, 11:36 AM
 
Melian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 96
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a second degree tear (very small only 1 stitch) and another small tear and I didn't feel a thing. I also did not feel the ring of fire.
Melian is offline  
#41 of 49 Old 12-18-2008, 11:33 PM
 
JennTheMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 945
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a 3rd degree pernieal tear and I felt it. It was like a burning sensation,it felt like it went all the way from my vagina to my anus (which it almost did). It happened really fast as Hunter came out quickly. For about 2 weeks after birth it was very sore.
JennTheMomma is offline  
#42 of 49 Old 12-19-2008, 01:09 AM
 
nighten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: A mountain in TN
Posts: 5,743
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had two very minor tears -- both of them upward (which surprised me, but I'd used a perineal balm -- not massage -- just the balm, from about week 36 on, and had focused on just the perineal area, not upward at all). I felt them and they hurt like the devil, but it was like I just ignored that pain and pushed on through, because I had to, if that makes sense. The pain was definitely a burning sensation. I didn't know at the time that I was tearing -- I remember thinking, "This is what the ring of fire feels like" only it wasn't a ring -- it was localized and I realized after it was where I'd torn.

I only pushed for 26 minutes though before she was born.

SAHM to Guinevere (04/05/06) and Eowyn (02/13/09)
nighten is offline  
#43 of 49 Old 12-19-2008, 01:27 AM
 
eleven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 2,830
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a third degree tear and the pain was crazy. I had flashbacks of that moment for a while afterwards (and I'm going to stop thinking about it now or I'll get .

Strangely enough I never did feel a ring of fire.
eleven is offline  
#44 of 49 Old 12-19-2008, 12:29 PM
 
Eresh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Gainesville, VA
Posts: 776
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a small second degree tear from DS's shoulders and didn't feel it at all. The ring of fire was quite painful and I was completely out of it. I didn't even hear the MW tell me to stop pushing when DS's head was born. I pushed again and his whole body came out very quickly, which is probably why I tore.

The MW used a local to stitch it up so that wasn't painful at all. I had general soreness on my bottom for a week or so but healing was very quick with no problems. It'll never be "like new" but I was back to mostly normal after 6 weeks or so. After a couple of months the only sign of it is a little white line.

Loving DH geek.gif, raising DS1 learning.gif(01/08) and DS2 bfinfant.gif(10/10), caring for cat.gif x 3 .
Eresh is offline  
#45 of 49 Old 12-19-2008, 12:50 PM
 
Unconventional1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Colorado!!!
Posts: 490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wanted to add, in addition to my 3rd degree perineal tear, I also had labial tears- I felt those and they really hurt. Afterwards they burned really bad as well.

Momma to G 12/06 A 2/09, AND ANNOUNCING... Welcome big boy! A 5/10/10 9 lbs 10 oz! We and had our 3rd UP/UC!
Unconventional1 is offline  
#46 of 49 Old 12-19-2008, 07:31 PM
 
TzippityDoulah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: DC area
Posts: 3,731
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had no sensation of it... b/c I fracture my tailbone during birth (it was probably the fact that I was in that horrible supine position) and I was too focused on the breathtaking intense pain of that to notice any tearing. seriously... it did hurt when she crowned, but not as bad as the fracturing tailbone in slow motion. oh my goodness I thought i would pass out!

(this time I'm UCing and deliverying in any old position I like - not doing supine against my will again!)

transtichel.gifMom of three - (2.5 yrs, 7yrs, and 11yrs). Birthing Doula, editor, and wife to my soulmate. I've had a c/s, hospital VBAC, UC and not yet decided what I'll do about this next little one

TzippityDoulah is offline  
#47 of 49 Old 12-19-2008, 11:06 PM
wbg
 
wbg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: embracing the chaos
Posts: 898
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i did tear with each birth, some worse than others, but did not feel it when it happened. afterwards was not too bad either. some discomfort, but not unbearable. my last was my worst tear and i c\actually thought i had not torn

wbg...constantly amazed by Z , cherishing I , inspired by P , adoring K and still getting butterflies when I wake up with B !
wbg is offline  
#48 of 49 Old 12-20-2008, 07:14 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I pushed for about 4 hours... I never felt the "ring of fire" despite dd2 being in a full onw crowning position for a serious chunk of time. I was apparently tearing then (the dr mentioned the tearing) but didn't feel anything. DD2 then developed a shoulder dystocia and the Gaskin manuever didn't resolve it... we tried a couple positions and eventually the dr had to "reach in" and pull her out. This resulted in an un-stuck babe but a 4th degree tear for me (completely through the anal sphincter) which I also didn't feel.

I mean, it wasn't comfy or anything, but it wasn't out of line with the whole birth sensation/labor land experience (I was using hypnobabies). The suturing (around 200 sutures, half hour-45 minutes) however was HORRIBLE. Seriously the single most painful physical experience in my life. The local they used left windows and eventually they had to hook me up to an IV to administer narcotics (and pit since my bleeding was crazy). And the recovery was pretty unpleasant.

But the tear itself? Not something I noticed.

Oh, a random note... my vbac OB (who was very crunchy, trained with Ina May, homebirthed her own babes, etc) said that in her experience it's better to focus on a "positive" than a "negative" during pregnancy. So instead of saying "I would rather tear" (a common birth plan statement when addressing surgical cuts like episiotomies) it's better to say "I want to stretch naturally" or something like that. She isn't really into law of attraction or anything, but it's sort of similar.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#49 of 49 Old 12-20-2008, 10:59 PM
 
bobandjess99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't feel the tearing with dd, but i oh so absolutely did with ds! it was REALLY, REALLY bad...even though I was in awful, AWFUL pain from the contractions, even that was not all that bad compared to the pain of tearing.....I think it was because the pain of contractions, even though for me it was SEVERE, totally way above 10 on the pain scale painful...it was a different, special kind of pain.....and the pain of the tearing was like.."normal" pain, the kind that signals to your body "something is wrong, bad, danger, pain! " and it was just so much sharper, a very bright, blinding meteor of pain that just shot through the huge, overwhelming, completely consuming, yet somehow deeper, duller, pain of the rest of labor/contractions. I don't know if that makes sense at all if you haven't experienced what I did. sort of like the difference between having a deep ache in a pulled muscle, versus slashing your hand with a knife...it was just a completely different *kind* of pain. i'm a music person, so in my mind, I picture the pain of teh contractions as a "bass" ..a low, deep, very strong, encompassing kind of pain, and the pain of the tearing was a "soprano" note, a high, sharp, bright pain that just tore through the rest like a bullet.
both sucked like hell.

CPST
bobandjess99 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off