What did you think/feel when you first saw your newborn? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 87 Old 12-23-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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"oh thank God! he's got detatched earlobes." really. that was my first thought. my husband has attatched earlobes and i HATE them. so my beautiful boy was given to me and i could only sigh with relief that his earlobes were like mine and not like his daddy's!
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#62 of 87 Old 12-23-2008, 04:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmommy27 View Post
"thank you so much for coming out of my vagina"
Oh man that is TOO funny! I thought the same thing with my first. My mom had all c-sections so I was scared for some reason I would need one too. My girl was posterior so I pushed for over three hours but I thought the same as you, I just didn't say it out loud!
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#63 of 87 Old 12-23-2008, 05:46 PM
 
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My first words when he was born were "He looks just like Stuart!" (my brother)

My first thought was Thank you God, related to the statement above. I had been praying for him to look like me/my family because of trauma surrounding the male donor of his genetic material. My prayer was answered and that was all I could focus on for a good while after he was born, I was truly grateful.

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#64 of 87 Old 12-24-2008, 08:31 AM
 
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"Thank God this worked out okay!" I had planned a homebirth that turned into a planned hospital birth during the last few weeks due to high blood pressure. I was so afraid of giving birth in the hospital. I felt that I needed to be so on top of everything to make sure that no interventions would happen without my permission and to make sure that no one would vax my baby or smear his eyes with goop while I was dealing with a PPH. It wasn't until later that I was really able to digest what had happened.

My next thought was "How the heck am I going to BF this baby with all of these people in the room?"

I was also so sure that I would cry after DS was born. I cry at the end of every episode of A Baby Story, after reading birth stories... I was tearing up reading this thread! But when my own child was born, I was too busy worrying about the little things to really enjoy the moment.

This time around, I know my MW so much better and have much more trust in her. I think I'll be able to relax a lot more and just enjoy things.

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#65 of 87 Old 12-24-2008, 12:22 PM
 
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DS (my first) was a quite traumatic hospital vaginal birth and he needed resucitation after birth, so he is laying there on the table, silent and they are bagging him and i'm thinking "i have to protect him, he is my responsibility, I have to protect him" i was saying out loud "is he okay? what are his sats? has he started breathing yet? is he okay?" of course, they were too busy to answer me. DH was standing right there with DS just smiling and saying "we have a baby" (i am a nurse, DH is not and had NO idea that was happening was not normal) After he was okay and cleaned up and i was stitched (from top to bottom) they brought him too me and i undressed him and inspected him all over, dressed him again, looked in his face and fell in love.

DD was a section after a long hard labor, but she cried even before they held her up and i thought (and said) "oh, that's her! I know that voice!" (lol, like it might have been someone else's baby crying in my surgical room!). After recovery they were wheeling me into the PP room and before I am even in there i was saying "bring my my baby, I want her, someone go get her" I was so sore and very upset that i could not really look her over, so i started nursing her and she pulled off after a second and was staring me and that's when i got the 'love rush'.

You better believe when we got home 2 days later the first thing i did was get DH to strip her down and hold her next to me so i could look her over. I kept feeling like i wouldn't recognize her if i hadn't seen her whole body? is that weird?
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#66 of 87 Old 12-24-2008, 01:01 PM
 
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DandeCobb I'm really here just lurking, getting ready to have my first so I'm interested to see these responses. My sister has had 4 babies and said the same thing everytime. The first thing she did as soon as they were all wiped off and given back to her was to completely unwrap them and look over their entire bodies. Like she had to memorize them to know them. With her third birth, her daughter was unresponsive at birth and once they got her breathing they immediately took her to be checked out. Turned out she had a really bad heart murmur and they were suspecting Down's (turns out she has Brittle Bone Disease, but was completely unrelated to the not breathing at birth). My sister just got to hold her for a minute before they transferred her to a children's hospital with a NICU. She said what killed her the most was that until they brought her home over a week later, she couldn't look her over the way she had with all her other babies. She felt like she couldn't really connect with her until she could do that.

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#67 of 87 Old 12-24-2008, 02:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DandeCobb View Post

You better believe when we got home 2 days later the first thing i did was get DH to strip her down and hold her next to me so i could look her over. I kept feeling like i wouldn't recognize her if i hadn't seen her whole body? is that weird?
not weird at all~ I had to look and touch mine all over, it was definitely a recognition thing with me too and a very natural need

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#68 of 87 Old 12-24-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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The nurse brought DD over and said "look at those rosebud lips!" And I looked right at them and they were really just the most perfect little lips. I am really thankful to the nurse for saying that even though I am sure I would have eventually thought the same thing on my own. She gave me something to look right at and focus on and it will be what I remember most forever. I probably wouldn't have needed that if I hadn't had the c-section (i.e., been subdued from the medication) so I don't know if that was her motivation or just coincidence.

Of course my recollection now is much sweeter than the moment actually was, yk? But that's okay. Especially when I look at the picture of that moment. That little face is so precious in sort of a funny and sweet way. There's just something about those brand new faces that makes me laugh but in the best way. It's like a "what am I doing here exactly?" kind of look.

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#69 of 87 Old 12-24-2008, 11:21 PM
 
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With both of my boys I was exhausted from pushing and just sort of layed back after they were born. DS1 was born in the hospital and the MW placed him on my chest and I just layed there for about 3 mins and then said "I need to see what he looks like!" and then checked him out. Then he pooped on me I layed there with him for a while. Honestly, I was more shocked that I had a drug free birth than anything else.

With DS2 I was really tired again and he was born (at home this time) with me squatting. The MW helped ease him out (so he didn't plop on the floor). And for a few seconds I was just stunned and happy it was over. Then the MW said "you can pick him up". For some reason that didn't even occur to me, so I picked him up and my first thought was "he has red hair, where on earth did he get red hair from?" Then I told him we did it and I was proud of him. With DS2 it was more instant love because I knew what it meant to be a mom. With DS1 I had no idea what I was getting into so it took a few days.

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#70 of 87 Old 12-25-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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Hmmmm....I think my reactions were stunned and awestruck, at the same time.

The intense "falling in love" come a few days after we get home with the baby. I'll be nursing the baby and look down at him and suddenly not be able to breathe because I'm so overwhelmed with love for him.
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#71 of 87 Old 12-25-2008, 05:11 PM
 
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With all of them, the strongest feeling I had was relief that the birth was over with. The first time, I also felt a combination of awe, surprise, and sort of overwhelming responsibility at having a real, live baby all of a sudden (I was barely 21, and felt a bit like she'd dropped out of the sky, somehow). I always felt some worry about the baby's health in the mix of emotions too, and with my 3rd daughter I admit feeling a twinge of disappointment that she wasn't a boy. Oddly, my reaction to having a 4th daughter was to laugh - I felt a bit like it was some kind of cosmic joke that I "only make girls" and there was nothing left to do but laugh about it - with her, I also had a sense that the two of us had just been through a battle or something together (her birth was very fast and seemed violent to me).
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#72 of 87 Old 12-25-2008, 05:29 PM
 
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I really have no idea. I know what I said and did, but not what I thought, and if there are words in english for that particular package of feelings I certainly don't know them.

That's not entirely true. I know with my son I was thinking that he didn't look anything like his father. And that I was glad that he wasn't ugly. (The two thoughts together NOT meaning to imply that I thought my kids' dad was ugly ... just that I kind of wanted a mini-him, so long as we were having a son, and, separately, that I had been reading way too many ugly baby tales here on MDC around that same time.)
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#73 of 87 Old 12-25-2008, 05:39 PM
 
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I am so not a love at first sight kinda gal!

#1 ~ "Oh my gosh! She has a penis!!!" (We were told @ 16 weeks that we were having a girl. Didn't find out otherwise until HE came out.)

#2 ~ "Ummm...wow hon. He looks like a miniature version of your grandfather." (And that was NOT a good thing! hehe Thankfully he's a handsome kid now! )

#3 ~ "Holy heck! THAT is what hurt!" (She had two nuchal hands when she came out.) Quickly followed by "She is TINY!" She was like 6.11lbs and we were expecting around 8lbs.

#4 ~ My first thought was honestly "OMG! It's over?! Already?" and "I DID IT!!!" b/c water break to being born was less than 3hrs and I did it all myself including delivered her in to my own hands which I've never had the pleasure of doing before.

I'll fully admit that I did not think ANY of mine were cute when they were first born.

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#74 of 87 Old 12-26-2008, 11:59 AM
 
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#1 - She looks like an alien (I was pretty spaced out from a medicated birth).
#2 - OMG, she has hair (DD1 was a baldy).
#3 - OMFG (unplanned UC, I caught her and held her in front of me and we just kinda looked at each other in shock).
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#75 of 87 Old 12-26-2008, 09:29 PM
 
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With #Ds1 I was just glad for it to be over. I was more concerned with his dad bonding with him than I was, I made him go with him when they took him for the routine stuff, and then I had to get stitches, so I was worried about that. It was the middle of the nite so I didn't protest when they took him to the nursery and I got some Z's. With Ds2 of course it was a totally different scenario, as he was born unassisted in the middle of the day. My #1 concern was that he start breathing right away, and when he did, my second thought was just one of grateful relief and excitement that it was all over and everything went well. Bonding went a lot quicker with my 2nd than with my first, probably because I was less exhausted and not drugged, and I had more privacy and fewer interruptions. It was just the birth we needed and I had wished for ... it was really a perfect, exhilarating moment ... holding my newborn against me, relaxing and getting to know each other. We stayed like that for probably about a half hour before someone started fussing about me needed to deliver the placenta.. but I guess bliss wasn't meant to last forever!

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#76 of 87 Old 12-26-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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I had a homebirth and gave birth while squatting. I do not remember who caught her or who handed her to me, but I remember very vividly holding her and thinking "Huh. Alright, so this is you." She looked nothing like I had imagined her looking, and I did not feel an immediate connection. It was like I had been introduced to a stranger. I had been up for about 40 hours at that point (little did I know I was nowhere near some rest as my placenta would not be delivered for another 2 hours). I was so tired.

But, as I got to know her I began to love her more and more and more. She's 18 months now, and I still feel like I'm getting to know her.
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#77 of 87 Old 12-28-2008, 07:59 PM
 
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The end of my labor was very fast and intense- I only pushed for twenty minutes.

I was kind of still in La-La Labor land when they laid DS on my belly. I was first amazed at how warm he felt. I was also suprised by his full head of thick black hair.

DS didn't really cry right after he came out. He mostly just squirmed a lot and made some snuffly sounds. I kept thinking, "Why isn't he crying, shouldn't he be crying?!" I remember saying as much to the nurses, wondering why he wasn't screaming his lungs out like they show babies on TV doing, LOL!

Jackie, Catholic mama to Elijah (6/07) & Gabriel (2/10) and our angel baby, m/c 7/29/12. Expecting someone new in October 2014!
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#78 of 87 Old 01-02-2009, 02:52 PM
 
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I am very relieved to read some of your responses on hear because I have had a weird time with #2.

With #1 I was so totally in love from the second he was born. I thought he was the most beautiful baby in the world.

I expected the same for #2..

But when #2 was born I felt very strange. His little face was so squished and not at all like #1's... I tried to feel that overwhelming connection that I felt with #1 and couldnt. It's taken a while for me to really bond with him and I feel so awfully guilty and horrible for it. Now I love him to pieces and I feel connected to him. I could write alot about my feelings on this..it's been troubling me a lot

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#79 of 87 Old 01-02-2009, 02:58 PM
 
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I didn't immediately feel a connection. I was tired, happy, in pain, and confused. My thoughts were:

"Wow! Thank goodness she made it." DD had a very rough start and the operating staff during the c-section didn't think she was going to make it. Long story.

"Wow! She looks nothing like me. Could they have accidentally switched the babies?" They took DD to the NICU right away so I never saw her in the operating room. DH followed them to the NICU at my insistence and he said there was also another baby there with the same last name as ours and that baby also had the same doctor as me. I thought for a second that DD was their baby not mine. It's funny now because DD clearly is my daughter.

"Her head is very pointy". She had a very pointy head for a week because of all the hours of pushing.

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#80 of 87 Old 01-02-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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When my daughter was born, they just made sure she was crying and put her on my belly. My first reaction was to pull my shirt up so she could go skin to skin, and then my first thought was, "she's so WARM!" (I don't know why that was surprising). I was also really surprised by what she smelled like in those first few moments- she smelled like warm would smell, ha.

My next thought was that it really WAS a baby. My whole pregnancy I had no connection to her, really, because I had trouble believing anything was really in there, and I even said in my dazed state, 'It IS a baby" and my sister asked, "what were you expecting?" I replied, "I don't know, an alien or a fish or something?" which made everyone laugh.

We did a homebirth at my inlaws, and after her birth DH went to sleep (he'd been up more than 24 hrs) and I sat in the living room with my mom and sister and MIL for hours with my baby, naked except for her diaper and wrapped in a blanket, and just looked at her various parts and memorized what all of her looked like and talked over the birth. It was great to just sit here and talk over everything that happened, how I felt, what surprised me, the best and worst parts. It made it seem more real somehow?

I actually cried when we put clothes on her (the next day) because I loved looking at and touching my little naked baby.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#81 of 87 Old 01-02-2009, 09:32 PM
 
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I felt very different after my private births than after my observed/managed/directed births, but the difference didn't have to do with a "falling in love" feeling. With my professionally attended births I felt completely disconnected from the baby. There was really no feeling whatsoever, aside from tiredness and relief. With my private births, I remained in an altered state of consciousness after labor ended, in which the baby's existence still felt entertwined with mine, as it had during pregnancy, and I felt like I knew her, like she'd always been with us.
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#82 of 87 Old 01-02-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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I thought it was odd that she didn't look anything like me. The babies in my family all have downy white fluff or red fluff, not thick dark hair. My dh has dominant genes so I shouldn't have been surprised. But that's really all I thought. That and how tired I was, and how glad I was it was over.
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#83 of 87 Old 01-02-2009, 09:45 PM
 
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I thought, "Thank God she's out." Then I was glad she was crying and ok but I still felt detached. Then I wanted apple juice. I was so d*mn thirsty!

I felt a certain kind of love and desire to protect her right away but I didn't really mind when they whisked her away to weigh her and stuff. I just felt almost like I was watching it happen from the outside looking in or something. I didn't really "fall in love" with her until she was 9 weeks old. Then it just hit me and I really got it. And I haven't looked back.

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#84 of 87 Old 01-02-2009, 10:43 PM
 
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"I did it. It's over" were my first thoughts as I felt his body slide out. My first words were "Oh my baby. My baby." They put him up onto my chest immediately and his little crying face was looking up at me and I thought "Who are you?" in a sweet kind of filled-with-wonderment kind of way, because he didn't look how I expected. Then I made several vows to myself that I was never ever ever going to do this again, and started thinking about how we should go about adopting any subsequent children.

I remember later when DH was holding him right by my head while he was crying and the midwife was trying to tell me something while she was stitching me up and working on my PPH and I couldn't hear what she was saying and I thought (but didn't say) "take that away!" and realized that I had just thought of my baby as "that" little noisemaker. It took a little while for me to fall in love with him but immediately I felt a fierce protective urge, thinking "this one is mine!"

DS2 (oh yes, those never-doing-this-again memories do fade), again I thought "I did it, that's it! He's out!" and I remember thinking and saying "Aren't you a funny little fellow!" because again he defied what I expected him to look like. He also had some funny little facial expressions that were amusing to watch. I think I fell in love with him more quickly because I knew what to expect and wasn't so "out of it" with the pain and PPH.

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#85 of 87 Old 01-03-2009, 12:36 AM
 
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Honestly, I barely remember. The whole experience was so endorphin-laced, it was like being on a whole heck of a lot of drugs. I remember how weird it felt when the baby's head came out, and I remember sitting there and feeling like it was kind of inherently absurd and humorous to have a baby's head sticking out between my legs. Then I pushed the baby out, and he was born in the caul, so it took the midwives a little bit to clear it off him before they handed him to me. I can't remember the first moment I laid eyes on him, it's all such a jumble in my memory. I remember lying on the sofa nursing him a few minutes later, and looking at his tiny fingers, and feeling quite happy and content, in kind of an oddly everyday and mundane way. I clearly remember giving the baby to DP to hold while I took a hot herbal bath and drank a cherry coke.
The baby was born right after midnight, and the next day is practically a total blank. I know DP went out and got us breakfast tacos, and we slept a lot, and the midwife came over that night, but I have zero memory of the rest of the day.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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#86 of 87 Old 01-03-2009, 06:18 PM
 
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With my newborn DS I thought "Oh thank GOD you are finally out." I think I even said that to him.
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#87 of 87 Old 01-03-2009, 06:35 PM
 
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With DD1 I thought "Oh, it's over now." and then a few minutes later I thought "Huh... she's pretty alert, I didn't think she'd be alert like that." I never really bonded with her.

With DD2 I felt the *expected* rush of love. Followed by annoyance with my midwife because she kept pushing me to eat scrambled eggs, and I wasn't hungry.
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