What did you think/feel when you first saw your newborn? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 07:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've read a lot of 'love at first sight' stories here on Mothering, and also a lot of stories from women who didn't immediately feel that rush of love when their baby was born. So tell me: what went through your mind, specifically?

I can't quite remember exactly what happened when DD was born, even though I have very clear memories of most of the birth experience. I remember thinking 'This feels weird' as she slithered out, and I dimly remember hearing the midwife and DH talking--DH was supposed to catch her, and he did catch her head but sort of dropped the rest of her on the bed. So they were saying... stuff related to that... can't remember, I wasn't paying attention! I was squatting on the bed and Rowan was there in front of me, suddenly. I remember feeling a faint shock of surprise that she was a girl, as DH and I had been expecting a boy. And I remember feeling sort of relieved that she was cute (I know, I know, how shallow am I? In my defense, I'd just been through childbirth, my faculties were kinda on the fritz). And something about her cry... maybe a combination of 'Whoa, just like a real baby' and 'Aargh, now she's crying, how will I make her stop, I've never been a mother before!'? Plus of course the sheer relief that she was out.

And that's it, as far as I can remember. I didn't feel falling-in-lovey, or even particularly in awe at the Miracle of Birth or what-have-you. It was kind of surreal and mundane at the same time--very hard to describe, but certainly not what I've read in birth stories before!

So 'fess up, what did you think?

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#2 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 07:36 AM
 
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"Good God, she's huge..."

No joke...lol. I was expecting a 7 pounder or something. Not the 9.5lb babe in front of me!

Mom to Liv (9/07) ribboncesarean.gif and Nora (2/11) vbac.gif

 

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#3 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 08:27 AM
 
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I remember thinking that I was going to be a terrible mother, because my baby kept crying and crying. He was crying as soon as he was lifted out of the water and literally didn't stop for more than an hour.

Expat mama to my 7-year-old Halloween boy and my cheeky preschooler, who came before the midwife in January 2010... Gestating a new bean, debuting spring 2014!
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#4 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 09:05 AM
 
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With DS first I thought OMG he is giant (10 pounds 4 oz 24 inches). Then joy Like I have never felt before, I mean complete and utter happiness beyond my previous understanding of exaclty how happy I could be. Then with DD it happened again, so much so that as soon as she was out I was telling Dh We HAVE to do this again!

Jenese Mama to Elliot 8/05 and Millie Jane 7/07 and Cecilia Kate 1/11
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#5 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 09:36 AM
 
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I thought "Oh crap, I have to take care of this thing now!!!" Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to see my kid and I did love her, but it was a more abstract sort of love for a while. It was like I loved the IDEA of the baby more than the real, crying, pooping, up-all-night baby. I didn't fall concretely in love with her until I got to know her better. But that didn't take long.
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#6 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 10:21 AM
 
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Shock. I was so focused during labor that when it was over, I was sort of in a void for a little bit.
My labor was fast and intense, and I remember that very clearly - being taken over by this incredible and kind of scary force, but working with it - I felt like I was plugged directly into the power of the whole universe. And then, I wasn't.
I held my son and said "hi baby", and snuggled him, and I waited to be filled by JOY, but nope not really. I was not depressed or anything, just really really out of it. I had not reconnected to my brain yet.
When my brain came back and I was fully me again, I felt... different. I've kind of never stopped feeling that way. It is a powerful, quiet, strong love. A very confident love.

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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#7 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 10:50 AM
 
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I feel horrible for admitting this, but with dd2 my first initial thought was "Dang, she isn't nearly as cute as Lilly." I feel bad for thinking that and she has gotten cuter as she has grown, but I really didn't think she was that cute when I first saw her. I loved holding, and snuggling, and nursing her right after my c-section and I could have just gazed at her forever, but my first thought wasn't so nice.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker. - Linus
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#8 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 11:03 AM
 
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As best I can remember, my first thought was "so aka_chan is Lina, hmm, not as squishy-looking as I expected."
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#9 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 11:14 AM
 
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The main thing I remember is being totally surprised by how she looked. My DH is Japanese, and somehow I expected her to also look completely Japanese, just like him but more delicate, a little Japanese girl baby. So after she came out and I saw her sweet, broad, part-Caucasian face, it just shocked me. She didn’t look a thing like I expected her to and it took me a long time to adjust to her appearance, at least half a day!

"Mama, thank you for my little brother!" DD 7/05 DS 6/09
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#10 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 11:16 AM
 
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"Wow this baby has great eyebrows!" <- no joke, the midwife said the same thing out-loud minutes after I thought it!
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#11 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 11:23 AM
 
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With my daughter, I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and joy and just downright amazement that I had just given birth to this beautiful little creature. It was so surreal.

With my son, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief that it was over. :

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#12 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 11:53 AM
 
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With my 2nd she had had part of her ear stuck to her head which left her ear deformed with hair growing out of it (and a bald spot on her head where her ear had been). I thought how funny she looked but at least she was a girl and could grow long hair and cover it up. Then I thought, hmm she has a swollen lymph nod on the back of her head already. Yea it was so romantic lol.

With my 4th I saw him and he looked exactly like #2 who ended up being an extremly difficult baby. But I figured I had been through it before and could do it again. I should mention both of these were very traumatic births so I think that might have had something to do with it.

#5 my mother announced the sex as I was pulling him up to my body. So my thoughts were like, "Stupid mother, can't keep her big mouth shut. Oh well I will just ignore her and have my moment anyway." Then I turned my attention to my baby. Stupid mother, screwing things up. Argh.

With all the others it was like, "A baby, I had a baby - OH my baby!" lol Usually followed by thank-god you are out, kiss kiss, hug hug. Stuff like that.

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
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#13 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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"Wow! She's finally here!" (she was 2 weeks late past her due date).

I also kissed her face like crazy.

Take care,
El
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#14 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 12:09 PM
 
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With ds I was just tired and the birth had been so horrible I didn't have any connection to him. They told me I'd get to keep him for 2 hours before they'd take him to the nursery and I remember thinking, "oh God, I have to have him for 2 hours! I want them to take him now!" I know that's horrible but even though we purposely got prego with ds I don't think we were ready to be parents.

With dd I couldn't see her at first because I was on all 4's and dh was behind me holding her. I don't think it was love at first sight but I do remember holding her and thinking "wow, look at all that hair!"

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#15 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 12:12 PM
 
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I remember how warm/hot she felt, how good she smelled, and how concerned I was that she was alive. Then I remember wondering about gender and discovering she was a girl. In the very first moments that is all I remember.

Then I remember when I was getting stitched and the midwives were dealing with my hemorrhage, looking at her in my friend's arms and wondering who she is, with excitement. I also thought, 'I am supposed to love you.' LOL! Sounds harsher than it was, but I definitely didn't love her yet in the way I love my big child or others who I am bonded with. And when she was crying I thought, 'I am supposed to care.' I knew people were taking care of her, and I was being medically attended to, but it wasn't that feeling of desperately needing to hold her and comfort her that I would feel even a few days later when she cried.

She was born at 4pm and because of the hemorrhage etc I didn't get to hold her for the first few hours really, and then not totally alone without my bigger kid around until 230am. I remember waking as she stirred, lifting her up and I spent the whole rest of the night staring at her, smelling her, etc. That was when I really bonded with her, when it finally felt like my baby had truly arrived.
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#16 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 12:55 PM
 
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Shock and "God, my vagina hurts". I will be totally honest and say that it took me a while to fall in love because I was in so much shock that he was actually here. I had zero signs of impending labor and had psyched myself up my entire pregnancy for going late. I felt like I was in a complete haze for the first few weeks.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#17 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 12:56 PM
 
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I fell in love a moment before I saw her. I'd been pushing for 6 hours, and finally decided on my own I was going to just push her out and tear (and that's exactly what I did). I pushed her head out and I was thinking "Thank GOD" (actually, the same thought was going through the heads of everyone in the room). I rested and waited for the next contraction. When it came, I felt her move her shoulders to turn. That's when I fell in love, it was a huge rush of love - "rush" is a good word, I just felt it kind of move through my body and even out through my limbs. I was thinking "oh my god, she's really alive" - not as opposed to dead, but more like wow, she's a real human being. I was overwhelmed because the movement was HERS and not my body's. I don't know if I'm really describing it, but that was the moment. Then she was fully born and honestly I don't remember my first look at her. I already loved her, and I was also in the "I can't believe I did it" mode.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#18 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 12:57 PM
 
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Awe and praise towards God :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#19 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 01:20 PM
 
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I feel kind of awful saying this, but at first I felt nothing. Nothing at all.

I think I was in some sort of shock - I had just finished 19 weeks of bedrest and my labor was very intense, painful and pretty much awful. When he came out I just felt numb. I felt like I had just survived a violent war or something.

It wasn't until later that evening when I finally came to that the love just poured out of my heart.
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#20 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 01:40 PM
 
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Where is the baby?? AHHH!! She is on the floor under me!!!

I gave birth squatting and I thought someone was going to catch her! I kinda looked around for a second then realized she was on the floor[it was like a one-two inch drop] After that I looked down and had a hard time telling the sex because of all the goo everywhere, thank goodness my midwife said hold your baby girl!

Mama to Belly(5), homesteading in the desert with our chickens and sheep. Fish nerd, really into my reef tank. Baby due Sep 3rd!

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#21 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 01:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
I didn't feel falling-in-lovey, or even particularly in awe at the Miracle of Birth or what-have-you.
Same here. But then again, I'm just not a "love-dovey" person. I'm just not romantic or mushy.

I think I was shocked it was over (I hadn't known when he was crowning, so I was surprised when the MW said, "OK, the head is out, one more push!") then I was surprised he wasn't crying. he was just looking at me! Ha!

Then I remember thinking, "OK, breastfeed now, let's go!" I had viewed giving birth as a job I had to do - an athletic event - and BFing as soon as he was born was part of the "work" I had to do.
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#22 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 02:31 PM
 
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DS#1 my first thought when I saw him was seriously "Oh good, he's cute!" I had really been worried about how I'd feel if I had an ugly baby lol, but he was the cutest thing and I wanted to hold him and cuddle right away but couldn't cuz the c/s. I didn't get to hold him for 2 hrs and when they finally brought him to me I was so happy to see him.

DS#2 I did not have the same bonding. I was so intent on having a vbac that when he came out I was thinking "I did it! Oh and this is my BABY, now what do I do with it?!" Almost like having a vbac was what I had been wanting without thinking of the actual result of a baby lol. Of course I loved him but I felt a bit disconnected for a while.

DS#3 I had an emergency c/s under general so I didn't see or hear him or anything for 4 hrs (except a pic Hubby showed me). It felt like he didn't even exist until I actually saw him. After the c/s I barely even thought of him for those hours, like my mind couldn't comprehend that I had a baby since I hadn't witnessed it. But once they put him in my arms I was in love.

It's odd but I've bonded faster with my c/s babies than my vbac baby.

Kara mommy to Jason 9/27/04 ribboncesarean.gif, Jacob 6/1/06 vbac.gif, Nathan 11/13/08 ribboncesarean.gif, and twin boys Isaac and Caleb born 1/10/11 vbac.gif
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#23 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 02:34 PM
 
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I remember the feeling of pulling him up out of the water and feeling his "manly parts" in the palm of my hand. My first words were "I didn't even know I wanted a boy till right now!"

Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
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#24 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 02:38 PM
 
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With my first, they had taken my glasses away, so all I saw was a pink blob. I didn't see him clearly till 4 hours later. I was utterly exhausted from 46 hours of labor and a C-section, so I think I was thinking something along the lines of, "Oh, there you are. Can we go home and take a nap now?"

With my second, it was more like, "HOLYCRAPHOLYCRAPHOLYCRAPITSABABY." My first was handed to me clean, swaddled, and sleeping...no comparison to pulling a hot, bloody, heavy, floppy, stinky baby out of the water fresh from the source! It definitely rocked my world!
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#25 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 02:42 PM
 
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Seriously? "God, can I have a shower now?"

I was hot, sweaty, in pain and exhausted. Labor made my rosacea flare up and I was so blasted hot all i wanted to do was let DH take care of the baby and go cool off.

Me:
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#26 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 04:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MegBoz View Post
Then I remember thinking, "OK, breastfeed now, let's go!" I had viewed giving birth as a job I had to do - an athletic event - and BFing as soon as he was born was part of the "work" I had to do.
Me too! I put my DD1 right to my breast, and then after a few minutes handed her off to my husband. No time to be sentimental, I had another baby to birth!

Having twins meant I was really business-like between births, because more problems happen with the second twin. I felt a a little disappointed that I couldn't linger with DD1, just passed her along and concentrated on her sister.

When DD2 was born an hour later I relaxed. Or I would have if not for minor PPH'ing. And delivering the placenta. OK, then I relaxed and focused on both my beautiful girls!

My very first thought though was how big DD1 was. She only weighed 6.11, but was 21". She just looked like she went on forever. Bigger than I expected. Now of course she's going on four times that big and I think she's on the small side. What do parents know!

Mom to : Belle and Izzy
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#27 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 04:34 PM
 
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I remember thinking, "It is so nice to put a face to the name!" I felt like I already knew DD, very well. It was like finally getting to touch someone that you had been communicating with for a long time.

I am so appreciative of that first moment because DD and I were apart for quite some time . Each of us had to deal with a lot of complications. DD recovered very quickly. I was very ill for a couple of days.

Once we got back together again, we started off right where we had left off...:

Libby blahblah.gif, momma to my precious little girl (6/29/07) 
                        and wonderful little man (12/1/10)

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#28 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 05:00 PM
 
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Ds#1 "Oh my god, I have a baby!" was my first thought, I was feeling like I was being turned inside out didn't even want to be there. I fell in love long before birth.

Ds#2 honestly I was a little detached during pregnancy, it's really hard to admit that. My first thought was "I gave birth I did it" then "wow, he's really hot" it wasn't until the room cleared out and I got to stare at my sleeping newborn that I fell in love.

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#29 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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Absolutely the most amazing, beautiful, perfect thing I have seen. I kept thinking "We MADE this?" WOW!!!!!!!!!!!:
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#30 of 87 Old 12-22-2008, 05:11 PM
 
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Pretty much with all of them my very first though was "Thank God that's over!"
With our most recent it was a bit of a shock because he came so quickly, then there was the whole "Oh wow, it's another boy!" I thought his ears looked all crumpled and funny. They've gotten better since he's been born, they don't look like little weird bat ears anymore

I did feel lots of love for all of them, but DS1 and 3 I was a little shocked that they were here already.
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