Arthead, my first birth was a hospital birth (Quickening
I wish I did what you did... DH was totally opposed and I just accepted it! I really wanted a home birth!)
I was unafraid of "what-ifs" but DH
(like many men) feel better at the hospital "just in case." Well.... that's why you go to prenatals.... if something comes up, then you'll know you belong in a hospital. I happen to think that often, births are going just fine, but then the medical interventions cause
some problems and then it looks like "whew, thank goodness we were in the hospital." Not.
Anyway.... the labor was great (painfree thanks to HypnoBirthing) it was towards pushing that I hated. I consented to Pitocin (nobody mentioned natural nipple stimulation to get contractions going again). The Pit did not overwhelm me (we kept the dose low) and I was still deeply relaxing on my own, so I felt no pain.
But I HATED that my son was getting hits of it. I was on it for 2 hours. (I wasn't progressing and it was either that or a C-sec.)
I tore badly (eventhough the OB was massaging with oil) I have a scar on my anus. I do not regret NOT opting for the episiotomy, I do regret going with the OB, being a hospital, where I was NOT allowed to eat for 18 hours (DH enforcing this rule, because he didn't know any better) eventhough I was starving and asking for FOOD!!! Long story, but I am convinced that if I had a homebirth with a midwife, it would not have been that bad. (I was very bitter with both my OB and DH for a long time over that. I felt mutilated.)
Hospital procedures - I really wasn't prepared for what would happen AFTER my son (perfectly healthy) was born. He was quickly taken away (not even breastfed immediately after birth. I did not see him for HOURS, even though I was wide awake, happy and energized. (The well-meaning nurses probably are used to dealing with women who used Epidurals and were too sleepy to care for their babies after birth. They were probably trying to "let me rest.") lt so damnned lonely in my hospital room. My DH went home.
I wanted to hold/bond with my son. I feel we missed out on some important window for both of us.
My son had a High Needs Personality
, which means that he generally LOVED being held. I heard him wailing in the maternity ward over 2 days. As soon as I held him, he stopped crying. But they kept taking him back and I don't know WHY I didn't insist on keeping him with me 24/7. I felt a LOT of guilt for many months over how much he cried and suffered (and didn't breastfeed as much as he could have) had he been with me.
I felt like I was sitting at a hotel consierge desk all day in my hospital room. I had a women next to me with visitors (a curtain) and people coming in and out all day asking things of me. Hardly restful.
Now my story isn't "as bad" as others. I guess it could have been worse. But my hospital birth left much to be desired.
I'm pg now and VERY EXCITED about having a homebirth. DH is still a little nervous, but we're meeting the midwives tonight and I know slowly his comfort with this will grow. I know everything will be fine.
now knows that I will NEVER
go to the hospital to give birth again, unless I have to. He's dealing with it just fine.
Like many women have stated, I do believe childbirth is a NORMAL, natural event.HAVE YOU READ ANY GOOD BOOKS YET?
I'm reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
right now. It's VERY good. THe first half of the book are just Homebirth stories. Maybe reading other women's experiences would help you.Gentle Birth Choices: A Guide to Making Informed Decisions about Birthing Centers, Birth Attendants, Water Birth, Home Birth, Hopsital Birth
- is another great book. I think you'll find it very helpful.