Here's my birthstory for those who don't know my situation and would like the nitty gritty (its really long): http://www.mattandlisahart.com/birthstorymdc.asp
For the short story, I was planning a homebirth but ended up induced because of a +3 protein in my urine at Kaiser (pre-eclampsia).
And I'm SO freaking mad because it wasn't neccesary to induce me! I kinda thought this beforehand, because all of my bloodwork when they induced me came back fine. But the big light bulb is watching my birth video and hearing the nurse say "she had +3 protein in her urine, but she was bleeding, so that affected it". I was fluctuating from +1 to+2 for OVER A MONTH before Orion was born. Kasier didn't care it was +2. My midwives did care, but at my appts they were +1 or like 1 and 1/2ish...
I spoke to my midwife before I let them induce me, thinking she would be on my side and wanting the closest to a natural birth as possible for me and she said that yes, I needed to be induced, and couldn't have my homebirth anymore. I should note that she was not at the birth. She KNEW I was bleeding (I was in very early labor for 2 days prior to induction). So therefore she **KNEW** the protein in my urine they measured wasn't accurate (or she d*mn well should have. I found out later on she works at a high risk hospital as well as is a midwife, she should know what's what). At the least she should have asked or recommended that take a clean sample so the blood wouldn't affect it! I felt like an inconvience to her. Wouldn't any midwife worth crap think "OMG this mama needs help to save her birth as much as possible! Is there ANYTHING I can say/do/suggest to help her??"
Also the day of the appts (a prenatal and a NST) I called my midwife to tell her I was in early labor (had been contracting every 5-20 minutes, short 15-30 second contractions for a day and a half), and asking her opinion on if I should go into the prenatal and NST. She said yes, because they could see if Orion was handling contractions ok. Come ON! If she was *worried* about that, she could have come on down and checked me herself! It was like she was *trying* to get rid of me (at least that's how it felt)! What other midwife, when they still think the mom is low risk (she still considered me low risk) would tell them to go in to "see how the baby is tolerating" *VERY* early labor? How untrusting of the natural progression of birth is that? How much of a "birth is risky and unsafe" message was she sending there?!
I know that perhaps I wouldn't have had a homebirth with +2 protein and elevated blood pressure (but my midwives were unconcerned because it went down laying on my left side), but I wouldn't have been induced! I wouldn't have been on pitocin and mag sulfate for 40 hours (16 during labor, 24 after)! Which I'm almost %100 sure kept my milk from coming in. I wouldn't have been monitored continually. I wouldn't have had a catheder. Or THREE internal monitors (they jabbed Orion's head twice to get the monitor on him)! I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have ended up with an epidural (the one contraction I sat up with after I asked for the epidural was manageable, I KNOW I could have dealt with more pain if I could have MOVED). I wouldn't have forgotten half of what happened after Orion was born. I wouldn't have been so freaking drugged up that I was a polite quiet mousey girl. I wouldn't have been stuck laying down and unable to see my son's face when they put him on top of me after he was born. I wouldn't have had my mother in law there (Dh freaked out when they were inducing me and got his mom to drive him to the hospital. She asked if it was ok to stay, and I figured 'what the hell, my birth is completley f***ed up anyways' and let her stay). I wouldn't have had to push him out laying flat on my back with a nurse yelling at me stop "pushing" (while I was puking). I wouldn't feel like my birth was done to me as opposed to being an event I experienced as a empowering moment in my life.
So I'm mad. REALLY mad at my midwife for not even asking if it was a catherized sample. Mad at the staff for not getting a clean sample and just inducing me. Mad at myself for not THINKING of that at the moment and asking for a clean sample. For not just trusting myself and not going in that day. For trusting my midwife to want to do the best for me to have a natural home birth. Mad that I was stuck in the hospital for a total of 3 days being disturbed constantly instead of at home in bed.
And I'm really sad. Sad that I wasn't the first person to touch my child as he was born. Sad that I couldn't push in a comfy postion. Sad that my precious memory of him being born was me laying flat on my back, puking my guts out with a nurse trying to HOLD his head IN (truly with all this mess that my birth was I TREASURE the memory of feeling him slide out of me. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. I'm glad the epi wasn't up so high I missed that). Sad that it took awhile for ds and I to *really* bond (and I think the hospital birth had a lot to do with that).
*Sigh* Just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening to me rant and rave.