Can you read my birth plan and give me your opinions?? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 03:00 AM
 
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Handwrite it. Handwrite all copies, too. When docs and nurses see handwritten birth preferences (better than birth plan), they know your full intention is in there.
I agree that most of the "refuses" should be removed, except for the routine medical stuff like the vit K and eye drops, etc. I suggest using the word prefer instead. If you go in there with what they perceive to be an adversarial attitude, they will be adversarial with you. If you go in there with a more tolerant attitude, they will be more tolerant of you.
Another suggestion: bring cookies for your LD nurse. Give her the cookies and her copy of your prefs. Make her happy. Your LD nurse is your friend.
We did all this and just about everything went according to our plan. It's posted under vbac somewhere, if you want to read it.
As for circumcision, since you're not doing vit K, wait a week before doing it to make sure his levels are at their peak. The 8 day thing is really true. The vit K in alfalfa, I have been told, does not cross the placenta or go into your milk, though it may be a good idea to take just in case of bleeding issues for you. Some mohelim (plural of mohel) use anesthesia, and some will do non-religious circs. OT, but my friend and I were at a bris, and she asked the mohel about her husband because he wants to be circumcised. He didn't say it directly, but it was clear he didn't do non-religious circs. I know that some do, though. You can do an internet search.
Good luck! I'm sure it will go really well.
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#32 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 03:17 AM
 
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Again, my problem with the word "prefer" is that they could simply ignore it. My experience with hospital staff is that they could really give a damn what we "prefer." My experience with birth plans is that they are generally only followed when they happen to coincide with the standard procedure of that hospital anyway (especially in the absence of a doula!). By all means give the nurses cookies and do whatever else you can to make them like you, but I wouldn't back down on the word "refuse." I think it's important to make it clear that you are not surrendering your *rights* to *your body* (or *your* baby!).

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#33 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 03:59 AM
 
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it's_our_family, I think you have decided on a good balance with the "I refuse" statements. I would also say that you could keep in the "I refuse" statements as you feel necessary and still soften your birthplan so that it is less likely to put care providers on the defensive.

I have been writing my current birth plan since I started planning to ttc (I am still ttc). I began the document with a quick-glance of vital info (My name, my allergies, and the name of my siginificant other). Then, even though my plan is bulleted, I started with a paragraph:

Nice to meet you! I’m [name], and I would like to just tell you a little bit about myself...

I went on to share a little bit about myself and my hopes for my experience. Then I said:

Here is some information that will help you.

I included in my birth plan information about things that I thought *would* be helpful to me. Things like, "when I am under stress, I usually like it when people lighten the mood with some jokes," or "in the past, I've found touch and massage to be really helpful." Not that everything that usually works will work every time, but I wanted to give some helping suggestions that set up my nurse for feeling good about our relationship and 'her' ability to do her job.

This sort of set the tone for what I was going to write. Of course, I am guilty of writing a three page plan (I did however write a one page summary that will be my main plan to give to my providers...the three pages is a more comprehensive list with some reasoning because of my special medical circumstances, one that I'll review in advance with my doctor, etc).

I like the idea of bringing the nurses cookies or something like that...something to set the tone of a positive relationship.

I'm a former public health professional. I have worked in the women's care department of a busy hospital. I have seen birth plans go both ways. I have indeed seen women who wrote birth plans that were mocked by their care providers up at the nurse's station. On the other hand, if you feel as if your nurse is running over your wishes and trying to make things hard, or even if you just don't click, you do have the right to ask to have another nurse assigned to you. I have seen some great nurses work really hard for the women they have cared for...nurses who have been totally respectful of womens' wishes. I've decided it is important to make clear my expectations. I'd rather have my doula and others deal with resulting problems than not even try to communicate.

Keysmama, I read your post and was glad for your insight, but I would make one point:

Quote:
I think that you have to birth where you feel safest, but that also means accepting your choice and all that comes with it ( like you don't ask for an epidural at home, or a natural experience in an unnatural hospital)
As someone who doesn't have a real choice about where I birth (I am a type I diabetic-- this is not the same as type II diabetes or gestational diabetes-- and in searching for a care provider I couldn't even get a midwife to talk to me, not even about co-managing my care for a hospital birth...the only available option is a hospital birth with an OB), I find that statement pretty dis-empowering. While I realize there is no place like home, I don't think it is fair to say women should just "accept" their choice and "all that comes with it." Just because I am being forced to birth in a hospital, doesn't mean I am ready to bend to hospital protocol just because it is protocol. I am sure that's not the way you meant it, but I think especially for those of us who work with mothers, it is really important to think what kind of statements we are making to mothers about their mothering experiences.

Sierra

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#34 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 10:28 AM
 
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IOF- I think your plan sounds really good and that you are striking a good balance with the "refuse" statements.

A few random thoughts as I have gone through this thread. Bring the nurses food Absolutely. My mom has been a nurse for 35 years, I was in with a kidney stone (on the maternity floor- at 7 months) during my pregnancy with dd, when my mom came to take me home, she said we were going to get pizzas first, and she would take them back into the nurse's station, she wanted them to remember me when I came back to deliver and- they did, they were so good to me I have continued that- the birth day I brought cinnamon buns, and had my dh bring in chocolates the next day- nurses really can be bought

I have chosen to make a list of things about me, my medical history, my wishes, etc. I did not title it a birth plan. My dh and mom have read it and fully understand my wishes (and agree- very important). I intend to go in with my list, and read the parts that pertain to each person to them (ie- the anesthesiologist only needs to hear about his/her part- and doesn't need to hear about the fact that I don't want ds circ.ed). I have chosen to soften my views on a couple of things, and focus on what is most important. For example, at my hospital it is not negotiable to have the eye ointment- despite the fact that it will be a c-birth: : - so I am just going to make clear that it will wait until after the first feeding- I will be sure of that by the fact that either me, my dh or mom will be with baby at all times. I will not change on the fact that the babe will NOT be getting the Hep B vaccine- but the way I am wording it is that he will not be getting it in the hospital (they can go ahead and assume it will be done at the Dr.s office later- which it may, when he is a teen, if he so chooses )

I have told my OB what I want for the surgery- a spinal, double suture, dissolvable stitches, don't want to see anything, etc.

I really think having the most important things in writing is important, but having an advocate there is most important (and don't forget- you can always speak up for yourself in the moment). I know things will go my way(as much as they can), b/c I have 2 people there who will not be being cut open, who can speak for me and the baby- if for some reason I cannot.

It is too bad that there are hospital staff members who would take a birth paln and laugh at it, but I can see that happening- so make sure your dh is ready to stand up and speak for you, and you will be just fine

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#35 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 02:38 PM
 
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kinda OT...but:

I heard of a dad who made up t-shirts. They said Have you seen our Birth Plan? on the front, with the birth plan on the back. :LOL
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#36 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 03:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL about the t-shirts!

I'll tell dh about the nerve thing. I think if I told him it was like the female clitoris he might say...lets find someone to do it later! He has always thought it was unfair that men didn't have a button

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#37 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 03:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by its_our_family

I'll tell dh about the nerve thing. I think if I told him it was like the female clitoris he might say...lets find someone to do it later! He has always thought it was unfair that men didn't have a button
They do, that's what the foreskin and frenulum are for. Of course the foreskin has many other functions than that.

http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/
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#38 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 04:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by tinyshoes
I heard of a dad who made up t-shirts. They said Have you seen our Birth Plan? on the front, with the birth plan on the back. :LOL
You can also get a onesie for the baby that says "breastmilk only please" from Granola Threads.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#39 of 39 Old 01-09-2004, 04:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by jess7396
It is too bad that there are hospital staff members who would take a birth paln and laugh at it, but I can see that happening- so make sure your dh is ready to stand up and speak for you, and you will be just fine
This is VERY important! Even though I was planning (and had) a homebirth, I did go to the hospital last January when I had a kidney stone attack. I was in so much pain that my blood pressure shot up so I went to the hospital where they admitted me to the maternity ward. When they were putting Demerol in my IV, my dh asked if it would get to the baby and the nurses reply was "that's what the placenta is for, it filters out that stuff". Um, excuse me! but if that's the case, how come we tell pregnant moms not to smoke or do recreational drugs? If I hadn't been puking my guts up (despite anti-nausea drugs added to the demerol) I would have given that nurse a dressing down! She should have been honest about the side effects of drugs, not made it sound like none of it would get to the baby at all.
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