I read the first version of your birth plan but did not comment. I also like this one a lot better. There are still a few things I would change, though.
RE: moving, food, and drink. I would delete this line entirely. It is unreasonable to be confined to bed without good medical reason, so I would just stay out of it and move around as much as my heart desired. If the nurse tried to stop me, we could argue about it then and there. I guess that if the hospital has a policy about not letting mamas out of bed, having it in your birth plan is not going to get them to agree to free movement, while if they don't, it is kind of pointless to put it in there in the first place. I also have found in my work as a doula that if we are going to challenge hospital policy with something that is totally under the mom's control, like moving around, it is best not to put it in the birth plan. It is easier for the nurse to look over the birth plan and say, like checking off a list, "this is not going to happen, can't do this, etc." where if you just do what you want it takes more assertiveness on their part to try and direct you to change what you are doing mid-contraction.
Along the same lines with food and drink -- nurses are out of the room a lot. If you are going to a hospital that does not allow food and drink, putting it in your birth plan that you want food is just going to get you immediate instructions not to eat. If you just leave it out and follow your instincts about eating and drinking, you will probably get plenty of opportunities to do so when there is no nurse around. If you get "caught" you can just play dumb.
I don't usually advocate going against hospital policy, but I know that policies against eatiing are so random and out of date that when my clients want to eat in my presence in the one hospital I work in that disallows food for moms, I just tell them that it is not my job to enforce hospital policy
If they do need surgery later, though, I encourage them to be honest about the last time they have eaten. (not that it matters anyway because studies show that moms in labor often digest food very slowly, so the meal of 12 hours ago might still be in your digestive system anyway)
I would take out the line about being coached like a drill sargent and replace it with something like "I prefer to be guided by my own spontaneous pushing urges rather than being coached to push for a specific length of time during each contraction. Feedback about the success of my pushing efforts is welcome." I think that the "drill sargent" phrase is just going to offend without really conveying what you want.
Look over your birth plan too, and consider editing out anything that you think you might have the time and frame of mind to discuss in the moment. That way, what remains will be competing less with other items for the attention of the staff. One example would be the non-drowsy benadryl. I would assume that if you are having itching and ask for a drug, they will tell you what they suggest and you can bring up your concerns then.
Hope this is helpful and not too convoluted.