Why homebirth? I had a wonderful hospital birth! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 01:50 PM
 
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[quote=nummies;13264225]Wander over to the birth trauma forum.

quote]

Read Ina May's guide to Child Birth , in it you will learn much that most people don't know about Hospital Birth. This will help you and anyone else for that matter, understand why so many of us are Pro-home birth. It's good to hear that you feel your birth experience was a good one. Best Wishes Mama.

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#62 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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I love this forum and its support of everything, especially BF and EC. I just don’t understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital. This is not something I am opinionated about, just looking for other Mom’s input. There are so many things that never even crossed my mind until I had a baby, now it is a whole new world.
#1. I don't want to get in a car in labor

#2. My ds was 43 weeks 5 days- that would not have been "allowed" with a hospital provider.

#3. With both babies I had LONG pushing stages- both would have been sectioned in the hospital.

#4. I hate needles- no IVs at home.

#5. Hospital germs.

#6. I don't want to get in a car with a brand new baby and me post-birth.

Those are just a sampling.

-Angela
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#63 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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I totally get why someone would choose a homebirth. I also understand why someone would want a natural birth in a hospital. What I don't get is the anger and resentment I see some people on this board show for those who choose to have a medicated hospital birth. I have got the feeling of being talked down to when I posted that I enjoyed my labor and look back on it fondly when I say that I choose to get an epidural. It is like some feel I wasn't supposed to because I didn't do it like they did. I truly feel sorry for the women who don't get to birth the way they wanted. It is a deeply personal experience, but my birth plan doesn't take anything away from yours.
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#64 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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I totally get why someone would choose a homebirth. I also understand why someone would want a natural birth in a hospital. What I don't get is the anger and resentment I see some people on this board show for those who choose to have a medicated hospital birth.
Well, there's no reason to have anger toward ladies who choose medicated birth. I'm sorry you've had that experience here on MDC. That's not right.

However, I personally have anger towards our high-tech, medicated, de-humanized, non-evidenced-based birth system in the US. As many others have said.

Additionally, I have anger that I'll have to hide my plans for an HB from my Mom & MIL so they don't FLIP OUT! & if I mention it to others, I'm likely to get reactions that people think I'm totally nuts & selfishly endangering the life of my child. A president of ACOG (American College of OB/GYN) even said HB is a form of child abuse! (I believe this was in the 1990s.)

That's unreasonable, ridiculous, & unfair. & I'm angry about that.

So perhaps some MDC Mamas have inadvertently extended THAT anger on to you. That doesn't make it right (& i don't even know if that was it - can't speak for others.) Just a thought I want to throw out there.

& finally, on a mostly unrelated note, many MDC mamas say they support a woman birthing wherever she personally feels comfortable. Well, in mainstream American culture, HB is viewed as reckless & insane. Having been raised with that your entire life is extremely difficult to overthrow & emotionally open yourself up to all the truths - not just the truth that HB is NOT dangerous, but also the truth that although birth is physically painful, it is STILL a fabulous experience for many of us & we need not necessarily run from the pain to be medically numbed.

So it makes me mad that most American Mamas aren't really given a fair chance to consider HB because of the strong stigma in our society.
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#65 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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I'm confused. What do you mean by 'hindered?' I would consider my 2nd stage unhindered, even though there was some "interference." First, I had EFM (but the nurse held the censor on my belly - no belt - I barely noticed, didn't bother me in the least.)
2nd, DS' HR dropped to 70-80's range when I was pushing. I know anything below 90 is a concern. They gave me oxygen & had me get down on my left side (I was on hands & knees.) that resolved it.
That's it! that's the extent of my 'hinderance.' DS' head emerged & my MW unwrapped the cord twice from his neck, then with the next push his body emerged & my DH caught him & put him on my chest.

The fact that my MW had me get on my left side because of decels is, to me, not related to the fact that I was in a hospital. Isn't a HB MW supposed to monitor baby's HR too - & take some action if it goes into a 'red zone' (& below 90 is of concern, aka "red zone.")

So it sounds like my story is another that would "make your stomach turn" and I just don't get why. I would hope a MW in a HB would have taken the same actions. So I dont' get why my story "stomach-turning." Like a PP, I thought his birth was fabulous & an amazing, wonderful experience.
If you want my honest opinion, the things you described are good examples of hinderances that happen in hospital births during 2nd stage. Directed body positions (verbal or otherwise), stopping the pushing process to unwrap cords, etc. I just have a belief that a woman's body will lead her into the position that is the best and safest for her labor if she is unhindered. I definitely think anyone other than mom or dad's hads on baby/mom's vagina during 2nd stage is a hinderance which would include unwrapping cord loops. I would not want my baby's nuchal cord to be unwrapped prior to birth. I would never hire a MW who would take the actions that you describe. But I'm pro-UC as well. These are my personal preferences.

FWIW, I have no doubt in my mind that your experience was wonderful, fabulous and amazing. I think that most births are. I just wouldn't personally enjoy those specific aspects in my own births and would obviously react as such.
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#66 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 07:04 PM
 
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For me it's the comfort of being at home. My last birth was at a hospital, and while disappointing, it wasn't traumatic. But it sure was uncomfortable! Not being on my own turf, being tied up with IVs and monitors. I didn't feel like I was the one in charge - it was the hospital, the staff, the nurses, the clock, the resident OB.

Postpartum was even worse than labor! I shared a room, I was sore and uncomfortable. They were constantly checking on me during the day and night, when all I wanted was some sleep. One night I didn't get a chance to eat due to visitors, and after visiting hours, the cafeteria was closed. I didn't get to eat from about 2pm that day until 7am the next morning! It was awful! They were constantly urging me to send the baby to the nursery, when I had specifically requested rooming in. My husband was exhausted and very uncomfortable at the hospital, so he went home both nights. So unless I allowed them to take my dd to the nursery (against my true desires, but probably the most practical option at the time) I had no help during the night.

This time I'll be at home, with all my creature comforts. I'll be able to labor without strangers constantly interrupting me, I'll be able to eat what I want when I want. I'll be able to shower whenever I want. I don't have to ask permission for anything. I know that my husband will be there the entire time. My friends and family can come when I want them to. The list goes on and on and on.

I also know that my midwife is experienced and knowledgeable and I trust her completely. I know that if something arises that needs medical attention she will be aware and I will get the care I need. So when it comes to being at the hospital "just in case," I know under these circumstances it's major overkill. Like walking around in a body cast just in case you fall and break your leg. It's inhibiting, uncomfortable, and unnecessary.

There are so many reasons for homebirth! I could go on and on, not only from my personal experience, but also from that of my friends, my clients, the reading I've done, etc. I hope that more people get to know their options in childbirth, and make a decision based on their comfort level and the facts, not just because it's the "norm".

Kristen - doula and birth educator, wife to Ben and mama to Sydney Mu (8/06) and Cal Edward (7/09) :
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#67 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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I thought my hospital birth was great until I had a homebirth.
: Exactly. My hospital birth was pretty good, but it was nothing like my homebirth.

There's a great quote from Barbara Harper about comparing hospitals to animals giving birth in zoos.

The keepers may be extremely compassionate and caring, the facilities may be state of the art, with all the modern technology available, but it is still captivity. Mammals weren't meant to give birth as captives. More complications happen in zoo births than in the wild. The same is true for home vs. hospital birth.

I wish I could find the exact quote...

Heather Mike Married 8/1/99 Mom to Charlotte Aug 04, Nov 06, and Katherine Oct 07
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#68 of 102 Old 02-27-2009, 09:23 PM
 
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I had glorious, interevention free births in a hospital attended by my beloved CNM. No Iv, no drugs, no monitor, no cheerleader coaching, no separation from baby, no baby poking and prodding...just none of that you hear so much about. I was naked, the room was dark, the midwife checked the baby's heartbeat with the doppler thingy a couple of times,I got in the position I wanted to be in, I pushed when I felt like it. The baby was put right on my chest. The baby nursed right away each time. I got up shortly after pushing out the placenta and got a shower, got into my own bedclothes and ate a meal while nursing my newborn babe. No fuss. And no horror story. The baby stayed with us. We went home by noon the next day.

Yes, two very similar births, same midwife, two years apart... both babies born in the wee small hours of the night.
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#69 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 01:43 AM
 
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I had glorious, interevention free births in a hospital attended by my beloved CNM. No Iv, no drugs, no monitor, no cheerleader coaching, no separation from baby, no baby poking and prodding...just none of that you hear so much about. I was naked, the room was dark, the midwife checked the baby's heartbeat with the doppler thingy a couple of times,I got in the position I wanted to be in, I pushed when I felt like it. The baby was put right on my chest. The baby nursed right away each time. I got up shortly after pushing out the placenta and got a shower, got into my own bedclothes and ate a meal while nursing my newborn babe. No fuss. And no horror story. The baby stayed with us. We went home by noon the next day.

Yes, two very similar births, same midwife, two years apart... both babies born in the wee small hours of the night.
I wish every woman who wanted a hospital birth had the opportunity to have one like you describe. Sounds fabulous.

There is NOTHING resembling that in any way shape or form here.

-Angela
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#70 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 01:52 AM
 
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This was all in England...maybe its different !?
Yeah, definitely. Most American hospitals don't even allow midwives in hospitals, while midwives are the normal caregivers for low risk pregnancies in the UK. It's a totally different system -- and I think it's widely agreed that the UK has the better one.
So anyway...
Gosh, why homebirth when you can have a good birth in a hospital? I guess it depends on what you consider a good birth. For me, it boils down to the fact that our American system of hospital birth isn't evidence-based.
I will say this. I think a huge majority of women aren't well educated on the process of birth, on the risks and benefits of routine hospital procedures, on why the system is set up the way it is. And just that there is another way.
Sure, we should all respect each other's birth choices. But say I had a friend who was pregnant, and blithely went into the hospital without doing a lick of research, and wound up getting dosed with pitocin to move the labor along, then stuck with an epidural because it hurt like hell to be strapped to the bed for continuous fetal monitoring while enduring intense Pitocin contractions, then having to lay float on her back and hold her breath and push when told, then getting sliced open with an epesiotemy or a C-section -- well, that would make me pretty sad for her. And that's normal, percentage wise, in American hospital births.
I have heard of very educated women who've carefully crafted a birth plan and had a good birth in a hospital, but that seems to be the exception. It's something you have to research and fight for, or maybe luck out in getting a rare birth-positive hospital or OB, but it's not something that just happens.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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#71 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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I strongly believe that women should birth where they are most comfortable, hospital, home, birth center, forest, whatever as long as there is no undue risk (i.e. there are some births that should be in the hospital due to safety of the mother/baby, for example if mother has pre-e or something rare like that).

I'm more comfortable at home. Unless I risk out, I will birth at home. When I had a hospital birth I was so uncomfortable I did not go into labor on my own and ended up with pitocin. No issues with going into labor at home. And for low-risk women it is as safe as birthing in the hospital.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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#72 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 02:08 AM
 
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#1. I don't want to get in a car in labor

#2. My ds was 43 weeks 5 days- that would not have been "allowed" with a hospital provider.

#3. With both babies I had LONG pushing stages- both would have been sectioned in the hospital.

#4. I hate needles- no IVs at home.

#5. Hospital germs.

#6. I don't want to get in a car with a brand new baby and me post-birth.

Those are just a sampling.

-Angela
ditto what she said.

plus, DD was born 10 days "late" I know I would've been pushed very hard to be induced way before that had I been with an OB. Induction is not only much more painful but increases the likelihood of a c-section.

also, it took quite a while for me to move DD down once I was dialated all the way. My pushing stage was still under 3 hours (just barely), but progress was slow at first (turns out her hand was beside her head). OBs would've been impatient with this. She had a few decels in the last 20-30 minutes of push that might have resulted in vaccum extraction or a section if i was in the hospital.

At home, you are comfortable (which i'm convinced results in less pain) and you are in charge. I can't explain it; it's just different...better--for me anyway.

student momma to two great girls

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#73 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 02:10 AM
 
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I wish every woman who wanted a hospital birth had the opportunity to have one like you describe. Sounds fabulous.

There is NOTHING resembling that in any way shape or form here.

-Angela
Sadly, I don't think it would happen again even in the same hospital. They have chased off the midwives and gotten very strict about monitoring and such. I just happened to be there the right times, the right midwife and was Bradley trained to be assertive should the need have arisen. I also get to the hospital very late... already 9 centimeters.. so there's not much time for them to mess with me.
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#74 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 02:18 AM
 
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I'm confused. What do you mean by 'hindered?'
You asked about second stage. For me, having homebirths with a midwife, a "hindered" second stage meant, variously: feeling self-conscious about being observed; feeling expected to "perform"; being positioned on my back with three birth attendants peering at my crotch; being told to push as hard as I could when I didn't yet have the urge; being coached on how to push "correctly"; having my breathing, vocalizing, and movement criticized; being bullied and spoken to harshly because I was "hysterical" (i.e. making too much noise for their liking); having perineal massage done; dilation checks; being made to get into a "better" position for giving birth (squatting); the midwife checking for the cord; the midwife "guiding" the baby out; the midwife lifting the baby up onto me; the baby being taken away almost immediately for an exam. None of this, fwiw, was necessary from a medical standpoint; I and the baby were fine throughout.
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#75 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 02:36 AM
 
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I am pro-free birthing choices. I think each woman/family unit, etc. should do what feels comfortable and right to them. We have options these days on where to birth. In a hospital, birthing center, at home, and I think thats great. When I was pregnant with Hunter I knew I didn't want a home birth right off the bat. We were renting a house at the time, and really long story short, I just wasn't comfortable at all birthing there. It just didn't feel right to me. After a lot of reading (actually before I was pregnant with Hunter because I was pregnant before and miscarried ), Birth- The Suprising History of How We Are Born, Natural Birth, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I decided that a birth in a Birth Center was what I was looking for. I had a very compassionate OB. He was all about natural births and doing what mom felt like. He encouraged a birth plan, and open discussions about birthing. He has a extremely low C-section rate, rarely does Episiotimies, only does monitoring if mom asks for or if there is signs of a problem (which he'd just check quick and then let the mom go without monitoring), does not push any pain meds on you, etc. My birth was so peaceful and wonderful. The nurse went by my birth plan and didn't speak at all unless I talked to her. I could move around in any position, walk around, use the tub/shower/birth pool, I could use different birth balls, use a birth stool, etc. They also encourage having support people with you, spouse/partner, parents, close friends and even a Doula. They have a lot of Doula's that work at the B.C., which also teach a class on natural birth. They also like having older siblings there, which is probably why they are called the Family Birth Center. They are very pro-breastfeeding and send in the Lactation Consultant shortly after birth. I was more comfortable there then I was at our home at the time. Their bed was a lot more comfy then my own, and they were all just so compassionate. I will always have a special love for my OB, as does my husband.
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#76 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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plus, DD was born 10 days "late" I know I would've been pushed very hard to be induced way before that had I been with an OB.
DS2 was 12 days late. After months of fighting (which a pregnant and/or labouring woman should not have to do - especially with people who are supposed to be providing "care"), and weeks of very strong pressure, I gave up on my VBA2C. (Boy - do some of my early "no way in hell" pronouncements on here come back to haunt me.)

When did I give up? When my OB said, "if you don't have the c-section tomorrow, I'll withdraw from your case". Yeah. I just loooooove "giving birth" in a hospital. Blech.

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Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#77 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 10:04 AM
 
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I am British and had my first in hospital.

I had planned a home birth but due to going overdue, I was told I needed to be induced even though there was no possible way I could be 42 weeks, 40 at most, but no one listened to me.

This was how the told me about the induction 'if you refuse the induction, your baby will die and it will be your fault, how do you feel about that'? I left in tears and for the next week put up with incredible pressure until I caved. They said I would go in on the Thursday and my baby would be here by the Friday.

After much rudeness and trauma, DD was born on the MONDAY morning, they forgot I was even in the hospital so no one took out my catheter for ages, I was threatened with having it put back in if I didn't pee enough (and I mean threatened, wasn't nice at all), I wasn't stitched properly and left with an infection that resulted in me losing a layer of skin from my genital area, it took 6 MONTHS to kill off.

I had home births with number 2 and 3, was treated with respect and care and got no infections and was sewn up properly.

I STILL suffer from that first birth, physically and emotionally. Despite this I am all for hospital births for those that want them.

The place of birth is up to the mother to decide, its about where she feels more comfortable, where she feels she will get best care for her and her baby. Some women have good hospital/home births, others have awful hospital/home births and we have to remember that and respect it and the choices that might result.

I wanted a home birth originally, because it felt right, in the end, I chose home births because of the treatment I received first time round. Why would I want to birth in a place where I am forgotten, treated like an idiot, encounter rudeness and people seem incapable of listening or doing their job right for me and my baby? Not to mention my poor husband who had to witness it, the effect it has had on him and us as a couple is bad.
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#78 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 03:48 PM
 
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Everyone else has already made so many good points that I don't think there's really much else I can add here. So, in a nutshell, this is why I didn't choose hospital birth:

-I didn't want another C-section.

-I didn't want to hemmorrage to the brink of near-death again.

-I didn't want to be plugged into machines and then ignored for the duration of my labor.

-I didn't want to be treated like a child and talked down to as if I was some annoying inconvenience. I wanted RESPECT.

-I wanted to be able to actually have a DRINK OF WATER during labor if I wanted to.

-I just wanted to give birth. Not be strapped to a table and have my baby extracted from me.

I learned my lesson with my first birth. Yes, many women do have fabulous hospital births. But I don't want to have to spend my whole time in labor fighting off hospital staff to achieve that. I just wanted to birth my baby in peace. So I stayed home.
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#79 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 03:54 PM
 
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I do not understand all of the articles and posts about home birthing. I do not feel as though my birthing experience was slighted emotionally or in any other way. Doctors and nurses are people who love delivering babies so much that they made the commitment to become educated and make it their career. The hospital staff was VERY supportive of breastfeeding during our stay and after (following up with the on staff lactation consultant). I was not offered formula, but received a bag with baby stuff, a homemade knit cap, breast pads, and several baby books. I feel a deep connection with the women who helped me bring my baby into the world.
]its wonderful that is your w=experience, given it was a positive one.....

but not everyone has a similar experience. the first 2 times i had hospital births...and they took me, dosed me and cut me open...TWICE!

so...after that...no thanks.

my free standing birth center birth was great...my home birth last year was even greater.

i complain about dr's and nurses who push their agendas and dont pay attention to women. i certainty support where ever women want to birth.
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#80 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 04:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by seraphim0517 View Post
I'd recommend the reading that others suggested. And the fact that nationwide we are looking at 30% c-section rates, over 50% induced or augmented labors, and terrible morbidity and mortality rates for hospital births. Statistically home birth is as safe or safer for low-risk women, and some that are thought of as high-risk as well. One of the factors contributing to those stat's is the prevalence of unneeded interventions. Continuos EFM has only been shown to raise c-section rates, not improve outcomes. Pitocin causes fetal distress, and blood pressure issues for mom, but is still handed out like candy. Epiduals have many risks and force you to labor in a counter-produtive posisition. Multiple VE's increase the risk of infection yet tell you nothing, but they are still routine. AROM risks cord prolapse, infection, and increased risk of fetal distress, but is still done routinely. Cyotec is still being used to induce labor, even though it can cause uterine rupture, and is not approved for that use. Then you have the hospital policies that are based on nothing more than turn over. If your water is broken x hours you must have a c-section, or pit. If you don't dilate 1 cm an hour (or 2) you have "failure to progress" and must consent to x intervention. Which failing that standard means nothing, just that you don't fit their definition of normal. Policies against vbac even though evidence shows that it is safer for most mothers and babies. Routine c-sections for twins, breech, and in some places just posterior presentation. Then the number of times invasive procedures are done without the womans concent and even after refusing it. Birth rape a trauma are not infrequent at all, and all cause emotional damage, some very serious physical damage. I know a woman who while shouting no, had a Dr. pull out her uterus while trying to manually remove the placenta, there was no reason for that to be done it was moments after birth, and she was not hemmorraging. I'm realizing that I have left a lot off this list, but this at least gives you an idea of some of the things we are trying to avoid. I know at home there are some risks, but knowing the risks that the hospital carrys I am happy to choose homebirth.
Then on top of all of that is the emotional side, some people can relax and have a good hospital birth, I can't. It panics me and makes labor much more exhausting and painful. I also don't think that pregnancy and birth are an illness, there is no way I would go to the hospital if I wasn't sick. So now I give birth at home. Maybe that helps? I'm glad you were pleased with your experience, but I see the opposite way. When homebirth is such a good option why would anyone go to the hospital?
(sorry about any spelling mistakes, spellcheck isn't working)
ETA: I know all these things don't happen to everyone who chooses to birth in a hospital, but the fact that they occur so frequently should give anyone pause.
This post really sums up my feelings about why I choose a homebirth instead of going the hospital route, especially the part I embolded.
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#81 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 08:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GAjenn View Post
I just don’t understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital.
There is a risk that, birthing at home, you might have an extremely rare complication that could only be handled if you were already in the hospital. But there is also a risk that, birthing in a hospital, you might have an extremely *common* complication *caused* by being in the hospital -- something like, say, a large abdominal wound?

From my perspective these risks are pretty much an even wash. So other factors weigh in to the home vs. hospital decision. Things like being physically and emotionally comfortable in your birthing place. I ended up deciding that it was most important to my emotional security that I birth where my *husband* was comfortable, so I have had two (very good) hospital births. But I understand, and even desire, a home birth, and fully support the need to make it an accepted option for mothers who want one!

BTW, I did have the mythical unhindered hospital second stage. It looked like this. Arrived in the triage unit and my water broke. The fetal ejection reflex took over and my body began pushing. First contraction: leaning on the triage bed. Pause: climbed onto the bed and on all fours. Second contraction: buried my head in the pillow and opened my body as the bed was wheeled down the hall to an L&D room. Pause: reached down and felt my baby's head. Prepared to support my perineum with the next push, until my husband let me know he was ready to catch. Third contraction: My husband murmured reassurances and cradled our baby gently into the world. No meds, no monitors, no obstetricians or midwives, no interaction with the nurses. Just doing what I needed to do to birth my baby.

So, next one maybe we can stay home and skip the annoying two day stay afterward.
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#82 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 09:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sophieslion View Post
I have read some crazy things, my hospital birth was undirected, I was free to move in what ever position I wanted, I was eating toast and drinking hot chocolate during labor, I was allowed anything I wanted from birthing balls, blankets, food, music, water...whatever! I was not monitered, I had one midwife with me the whole time, no Drs, nurses etc. They gave no eye drops and no vaxinations. My midwife gave me a massage as I (stood) and pushed. We talked about her children and how old they were and laughed about her labors. When it got too much I asked for an epidural and she said 'No Sophie...you CAN do this, you know you can!' that was all I needed and I had a med free, Iv free, moniter free birth, the lights were dimmed and there were no bleeping machines. I then cuddled/nursed my baby for as long as I wanted-undisturbed (except for more hot chocolate being delivered ) I was allowed to leave when ever I wanted (we were discharged after 4 hrs)

I am not against home births in the slightest but I have to say hospital births can be natural, calm beautiful experiences too

This was all in England...maybe its different !?
The food thing is a huge difference between the US and the UK, I've had two babies in the UK and am now living in the US and expecting a 3rd. I've seen the food thing mentioned in a couple of books I've read, they'll use the example of the UK and the fact that there are no reported cases of mothers aspirating vomit during an emergency c-section in the last however many years to illustrate the flaws in the widespread belief in the US that this is a problem. One huge problem in the UK is not getting to choose your doctor or midwife, and that it's not common even when you have a named midwife for it to be that midwife that attends the birth, I think this has one positive effect though, that choice is much much more accepted, you don't choose a provider based on having roughly the same views as them, but each one is supposed to offer choice, it doesn't always work out in practice.

Anne, Christian mummy to Nathanael 05/28/03, Ada 06/10/05, Grace 05/24/09
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#83 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 10:21 PM
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My DD was born 10 days late, was posterior, and I was in labour for 84 hours. In a hospital (with an OB) I would have been induced and I would have had a C-section for failure to progress (the section rates in my home city are between 29 and 32%). If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that all was very well and normal. If I didn't know better, I might have been disappointed but okay with all that, and thought that the events of my daughter's birth were simply out of my control.

Instead, I had her at home with a midwife. It was long, it was hard, but I have wonderful memories of my experience and her birth, and I was up on my feet feeling terrific (albeit tired) immediately afterward.
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#84 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 11:01 PM
 
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Well, all I can say is good for you for having a positive experience in the hospital.

Others, including me, have not been so lucky. Just because you had a good experience does not mean that everyone has. In fact, many of us (again, me included) have had terrible experiences that have left us feeling violated and stripped of all power or control.

There are lots (okay, most of us on here I'd wager) of us who believe that home is the safest, most wonderful atmosphere to labor and birth our babes. Not to mention that birth in hospitals is a huge business. Money is involved in all decision making. Some of us would rather put our trust into homebirth midwives - or ourselves - knowing that no one is going to make any decisions based on fear of malpractice. At home, no one is going to augment our labors in order to clear a bed or make room for the next birthing woman. And at home no one is going to strap us down, put wires and needles and unnecessary contraptions all over us.

Simpy put, at home we know that we won't be rushed, but will be able to birth on our own time, in our own ways.

Kier: wife to Jared, mama to Emma ('05), Savannah ('07), and our newest little love Reid (June 30, '09) -intact because of all of YOU! I had an ecstatic birth, at home in the water!
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#85 of 102 Old 02-28-2009, 11:25 PM
 
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I'm noticing that a lot of people who are saying they had a good hospital birth were attended by a midwife. There aren't a lot of cities where midwives have hospital privileges.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
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#86 of 102 Old 03-01-2009, 03:51 PM
 
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There are NO midwives with privileges at any of our local hospitals. At all.

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#87 of 102 Old 03-01-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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i also had beyond amazing hospital experiences and i love when people both have great hospital births AND great home births and any other kind of births they want.

i dont really love the "we're mdc, we're supposed to hate hospital" mindset. what id love is the "we're mdc, we're pro any kind of great birth or supporting the mama's birth choice" mindset. the birth trauma board has as homebirth trauma as well has hospital trauma.
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#88 of 102 Old 03-01-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by christyc View Post
There are NO midwives with privileges at any of our local hospitals. At all.
That's awful.

I'm in Ontario where midwives have full hospital privledges. I had my first dd in the hospital, attended by a midwife. It was much the way many described here: it was dark, warm, quiet, I was in and out of the shower. No one came to bother us, my dh held my hand and supported me. My mother was there with cold cloths and drinks. I delivered in a squat position.

However, with all that wonderful stuff I still ended up with a fourth degree tear. I would labour another 48 hours than go through that again. So for me, I'm glad I was in the hospital. I had a large hematoma and started to bleed out. It was a three hour repair in the OR (my midwife stayed with me the entire time, babe was with dh) and then an eight day hospital stay.

Part of me still wishes it had been a homebirth - wanna know why? For my street creds. I'd just love to be able to say I'd birthed at home.

I'll never get the chance because dd2 was a c-section, and she's my last one. You can bet I have some pretty vivid fantasies about a home water birth though. Hmmm, maybe one day after all!

Full time working mom to two bright and busy little girls! treehugger.gif
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#89 of 102 Old 03-01-2009, 08:28 PM
 
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Some women have great hospital birth experiences (and I'm jealous of them!) , but mine was not good at all. I was pushed into all sorts of interventions which led me to be induced too early, they broke my waters without asking, had an epi too early (was not educated about stuff then) and ended up with a C-section, totally unnecessary. My L&D nurse was divine, but a lot of my nurses during my stay (recovering from surgery) were horrible... they were mean to me and once when I asked if they could take my son to the nursery (because I was totally drugged up and literally couldn't care for him) the nurse grabbed him and went screaming down the hall "She doesn't want her baby!" which was so far from the truth- I was drugged, in a tremendous amount of pain, alone (DH had to work), and crying hysterically. There weren't private rooms, and on the 2nd day I was there a lady gave birth at like 3 a.m. and they put her in the room with me... her whole family showed up with pizza, kids, they turned on cartoons on her tv, etc. I was furious. When I complained to the staff they just said to be more understanding b/c she just had a baby! The whole stay was a NIGHTMARE!

So I guess to answer your question, not all of us have good experiences at hospitals (and the one I went to actually has a good reputation!). I am planning a HBAC this time (due any day now) because I know if I go back to a hospital they will not let me VBAC and will just cut me open. So I don't really have a choice unless I'm okay with another C-section (I'm not). Plus after meeting other homebirthing moms, it really seems so natural and beautiful (and let me tell you I am not a "crunchy" person- not that there's anything wrong with that of course!).

HTH!

Mommy to beauties DS1 (7), DS2 (4, autism), & DS3 (2)

and many angel babies angel1.gif

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#90 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 12:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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WOW, I am new to posting so I had no idea what I was starting. With that being said, I also express myself much better in person. I tried to keep the title short, because I don’t like when you hover over the threads with your mouse and can’t tell what they are. In doing so, I think maybe my question was taken the wrong way. Or maybe some of you are so used to having to defend yourselves, that it is the automatic response.
There are many things in life that I have researched, discussed, prayed on, and am opinionated about; birthing is not one of them. In my great hospital bag that I mentioned earlier was a copy of Mothering mag, and I was hooked. It is not your normal mag that treats you like an idiot with the standard milestone and belly fat blah, blah, blah. While I have found that I do not agree with some things, at least the articles are well written and thought provoking. Some of them really hit home with my instincts as a mother that I have struggled with because the “rules” say otherwise-- Co sleeping, breastfeeding, ECing, love the support! I won’t go into the things I am not so sure about as to not get off subject.

Now that I have been reading for several months, I thought I would try the website. I find it has allowed me some of the intellectual stimulation that I miss from being around other adults at work. I used to discuss politics, religion, current affairs and now I find when I am out it is with other Moms that I barely know. “How cute is that dress” and poop stories are the main topics. I think in time this will get better in time.

After reading all of your replies I am saddened by some of your hospital experiences. Disrespect from doctors and nurses, unwanted meds, sharing of rooms, and that is just a small part. I think if I faced what some of you have, I would be passionate about home birthing as well. I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.
My doctor gave us different decisions to make and then met with us and asked what I wanted. Our hospital was more like a 5 star hotel room with great food. Maybe it is a difference in a smaller town compared to a big city? I have been meaning to contact my Doctor and see if she wants to meet for lunch; she loves to hold my baby that she helped bring into the world. She says that “the job of the hospital to take good care of you so you can relax and take good care of your baby”.
I do plan on reading some of your suggestions and hope that all of you get the birth experiences you wish for without looking down upon those of us who like our hospital births.
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